COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
Br. Ed Bacon, OFM Used with permission
Word Made Flesh by Fran Ferder
Good Communication
Requires:
Listening
Respect
Open Mindedness
Compromise
Trust
Empathy
Requirements for Good
Communication
# 1 - Listening
 To pay attention.
 Being attentive to what
someone has to say
 Making an effort to hear
something.
# 2 – Respect
esteem for, or
a sense of worth
of a person
# 3 - Open
Mindedness
being receptive to
another’s ideas
# 4 - Compromise
Agreement
or
Mutual
concessions
# 5 - Trust
reliance on
the integrity
of another
# 6 - Empathy
Identification with
understanding of
another’s situation
and feelings.
Consider the
difference between:
 HEARING & LISTENING

JUMPING IN AND WAITING
 SYMPATHIZING AND
EMPATHIZING
 REPLYING & ANSWERING
 THINKING & FEELING
 ADVISING & HELPING
 ASSUMING & ASKING
HEARING & LISTENING
Try to tune in to the feelings
being expressed
 Hearing is concerned with
context (What’s being said).
 Listeners respond to the
speakers feelings.
JUMPING IN AND WAITING
 Don’t immediately
respond
 Try to take the time to
absorb what’s being
said
SYMPATHIZING AND
EMPATHIZING
 Feeling sorry for a person
separates you from their
problem.
 Feeling it with them is
empathy and shows
compassion.
Sympathy separates; empathy
connects
REPLYING &
ANSWERING
 Quick responses are
not caring responses.
 Let your friend know
you listened to them.
Don’t blow anyone off
Consider the difference
between:
THINKING & FEELING
 Thoughts can be judgmental.
 It’s what each of you feel
that connects you.
Consider the difference
between:
ADVISING & HELPING
 Immediately giving advice is
not helpful and often not
necessary.
Consider the difference
between:
ASSUMING & ASKING
 If you don’t understand what
is being said, ask.
 Restate, sum up and try to
get it straight before you
respond.
ATTENDING
Giving physical and
psychological attention
to another person
Both physical presence
and verbal response
matter
TOOLS OF ATTENDING
1. Eye Contact: Look don’t stare.
2. Good Posture: Keep a
comfortable and relaxed
distance.
3. Gesture: Fidgeting, crossing
arms and glancing at the clock
communicate impatience and
disinterest. Keep focus
4. Attentive Silence: Allows time
for the speaker to think and
proceed at their own pace.
Barriers to good listening
•Distraction
•Interrupting
•Giving advice/Asking too
many questions
•Saying: “I know exactly
how you feel.”
•Judgment
•Assuming