QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU JOURNEY DEEPLY AS YOU JOUNRAL
Remember that this journaling is a process to help you explore your thoughts and feelings about a particular relationship.
Allow your own writing to lead you to new places and surface your own questions and possible new directions. You may be surprised as to where your pen may take you! Have courage to be as honest with yourself as you can. The only person who needs to see the content of these words is YOU!
The following questions are here for you to consider using if you need a “prompt”. Feel free to share with me any good questions you’ve thought of that might be of help to others!
If I was to “grade” this relationship (report card style!), I’d give it a _____ because…
(and I realistically think I could get the grade up to a ____ if I could….)
If a book were written about this relationship, it would be entitled_______ because…
The basic issues of this relationship as I see them would be…
How much of the problems of the relationship are related to the past ? present ? future ?
What are your expectations of this relationship?
What are your expectations of this person?
What are your expectations of yourself?
How do my expectations help or hinder this relationship to be the best it can be?
Are my expectations realistic or fantasy-based?
I wish this person knew the real me….
Before you spend time with this person, how do you feel?
While spending time with this person, I usually…?
After spending time with this person, I usually feel…?
I look forward to…
I sometimes dread…
I wish that__________... Something I can do to begin to build this reality is…
How do you think this other person feels about you? Have they actually expressed this?
What responsibility do you take for the quality of your relationship with this person?
What are your own limitations when it comes to dealing with this person?
What are the strengths that I bring to this relationship?
The things I really admire about this person are…
I am grateful that…
This person and I are very alike in some ways…
Do you think that counseling could help facilitate better mutual understanding?
How might individual counseling be a good support for you while coping with this relationship?
How does prayer help me with this relationship? How might it?
Sometimes I forget that this person is a human being trying their best…
Something that I find hard to forgive_(name)_ for is…
Something I wish they would just get off my back about is…
Something I wish that I could just ask or say to them is that….
When this person says/does _____ to me, I usually….
Cycles/patterns of communication I get into with this person involve…
This person ‘pushes my buttons’ when they…
I tend to over react when…
I am [( angry, disappointed, fearful, regretful (etc.)] about…
If nothing about this relationship ever changed, could you move on with your life with peace?
If this is someone you are not bound to for life (e.g., family), why are they still an active part of your life? Is the effort spent really worth it? For whose sake?
How do the other significant people in your life relate to this person?
Continued…

Do I trust that this person loves me the best way that are capable of, even if it is not always the way I want to be loved?
How loving do I behave towards this person?
Do my actions towards this person reflect my true feelings?
I could use some more self-control when it comes to…
I wish I was more assertive about…
A legitimate need of mine that is not being recognized in this relationship is….
What is the next right thing I need to do in relationship to this person?
If dealing with this person is unavoidable, how can I create some emotional space between us so as not to lose my inner peace?
How can I utilize ‘mindful breathing’ to remain calm and peaceful in spite of difficulties?
When I imagine this person as a five-year old child, I see them…
What pain has this person experienced in their life?
If I could write this person a letter, I would say…
(Perhaps you might write the letter as a healing activity for yourself, but not give it to them?)
I want to heal my own pain in this relationship because…
I have compassion for this person when I realize…
I have compassion for myself when I realize…