The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective People
Stephen R. Covey
1989, Simon Schuster, New York, NY
ISBN 0-671-70863-5
Jeff Offutt
http://www.cs.gmu.edu/~offutt/
SWE 205
Software Usability and Design
The Book
• Sold over 15 million copies in 38 languages
• Thousands of people claim this book has changed
their lives / careers
• The advice applies to all facets of life : careers,
school, families, friendship, …
• Most of us are naturally (or already) good at some
of these
– But most of us have problems with others
– (My main problem is Habit 3 … I will always struggle)
https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit1.php
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© Jeff Offutt
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Abundance Mentality
A belief that there are enough resources and
success to share with others
• This is common among optimistic people
• Common in people with high self worth and security
• Leads to sharing profits, recognition and responsibility
Contrasts with Scarcity Mentality
Given a finite amount of resources, a person must
hoard belongings and protect them from others
• Pessimistic people, low self worth, insecurity
• Selfish, anti-social behavior
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Which Direction?
Outside In
• If we act like we are successful, then we will become
successful
– Or good, or nice, or moral, or …
Inside Out
• If we are successful, then we will start to act like we are
• Or good, or nice, or moral, or …
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The 7 Habits
Moving from Dependence to Independence
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
Interdependence
4. Think Win / Win
5. Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood
6. Synergize
Self-Rejuvenation
7. Sharpen the Saw
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1. Be Proactive
reactive
Stimulus
Response
Choose
SelfAwareness
Independent
Will
Imagination
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Conscience
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1. Proactive Language Lessons
Reactive
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Proactive
There’s nothing I can do.
That’s just the way I am.
Let’s look at our choices.
I can choose a different
approach.
He makes me so mad.
They won’t allow that.
I control my own feelings.
I can create an effective
presentation.
I can’t …
I must …
If only …
I will choose an appropriate
response.
I choose …
I prefer …
I will …
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1. Bring Proactive
Don’t mind criticism ...
– If it is untrue, disregard it
– If it is unfair, don’t let it irritate you
– If it is ignorant, smile
– If it is justified, learn from it
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2. Begin with the End in Mind
• Many people drift through life, reacting to what
comes
• Setting goals allows us to proactively choose the
directions we take
• Many disagreements are about issues that are not
related to our goals
– And we often share the same goal !
• At least half of our faculty meetings are spent on
things that do not contribute to our goals
– Pure excise
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2. What is the End ?
The end of your life ?
But in the end
you pack your bags,
head down south,
hide your head in the sand.
Just another
sad old man,
all alone
and can’t stand the sight of
himself.
— Pink Floyd, Animals, Dogs
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Your self ?
People often say that this or that
person has not yet found himself.
But the self is not something that
one finds. It is something one
creates.
— Thomas Szasz, “The Second Sin”
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2. What is the End ?
•
•
•
•
•
•
What is your goal for this hour ?
What is your goal today ?
What is your goal this semester ?
What is your goal for finishing college ?
What is your goal for after college ?
Everybody should always have at least 2 plans :
– Where do you want to be in 5 years ?
– In 10 years ?
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2. Personal Mission Statement
Security
W
i
s
d
o
m
Who are you?
What do you
want?
Power
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G
u
i
d
a
n
c
e
12
3. Put First Things First
Not
Urgent
Urgent
Important
1
deadlines
caring for family
homework
exams
most email
text messages
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prevention
3
meetings
© Jeff Offutt
building
relationships
teaching children
planning
phone
2
Get
here!
crises
interruptions
Not
Important
reading texts
trivia
computer games
social media
4
unproductive
activities
things that do not
help realize a goal
13
Thinking Time
• Do you have an abundant or scarcity
mentality?
• Are you proactive ?
• Are you goal-directed ?
• Do you do a good job prioritizing your
activities ?
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The 7 Habits
Moving from Dependence to Independence
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
Interdependence
4. Think Win / Win
5. Seek First to Understand, then be Understood
6. Synergize
Self-Rejuvenation
7. Sharpen the Saw
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© Jeff Offutt
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Paradigms of Interdependence
The Emotional Bank Account
When we meet a new person, we establish a neutral
“emotional” bank account … and our interactions include
withdrawals and deposits … largely based on trust
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
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Understand the other person
Attend to the little things
Keep commitments
Clarify expectations
Show personal integrity
Respect the laws of love and the laws of life
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4. Think Win / Win
High
Lose
Win
Win
Lose
Lose
Win
Lose
Win
Consideration
Low
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Low
Courage
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High
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4. Reaching Win / Win
• Three essential character traits :
– Integrity : Sticking with your true feelings, values and
commitments
– Maturity : Expressing your ideas and feelings with
courage and consideration for others
– Abundance Mentality : Believing there is plenty for
everyone
• Many people think in zero-sum terms : Either
you’re nice or strong
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– To win/win, you must be both — balanced
– You must also be confident and empathetic
– Considerate and brave
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5. Understand. Then be Understood.
Do more than hear – listen
Do more than listen – understand
Do more than think – ponder
Do more than talk – say something
• Instead of thinking of your next words, listen !
• The following is not listening:
–
–
–
–
Judging then agreeing or disagreeing … Evaluating
Asking questions from your perspective … Probing
Giving counsel, advice and solutions … Advising
Analyzing others’ motives … Interpreting
Once you understand … then you have the
information you need to be understood
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6. Synergize
The whole is greater than the sum of the parts
High
Synergistic (Win / Win)
Respectful (compromise)
Trust
Low
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Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/Win)
Low
Cooperation
© Jeff Offutt
High
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The 7 Habits
Moving from Dependence to Independence
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
Interdependence
4. Think Win / Win
5. Seek First to Understand, then be Understood
6. Synergize
Self-Rejuvenation
7. Sharpen the Saw
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7. Sharpen the Saw
Physical
exercise
eat well
sleep
Mental
re ad
pl an
wr ite
Balance
Social
make friends
help others
be a good
citizen
Spiritual
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clarify values
be alone
think deep
thoughts
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The 7 Habits
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Be Proactive
Begin with the End in Mind
Put First Things First
Think Win / Win
Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood
Synergize
Sharpen the Saw
Of Highly Effective People
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For Tuesday – Hwk 10
• Turn in Covey’s seven habits in three lists
1. Habits I’m already good at
2. Habits I’m getting better at
3. Habits I’m really bad at
• Submit written on one sheet of paper
• This is personal; we won’t share these with the
class
• The purpose is for you to think about these ideas
– And to help you plan for your future
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