I would first like to say that Rowena Raborar is one of the most interesting and kind persons I have met. Interviewing her for this project has been a great joy to my life. I had the opportunity to learn so much about her, as well as interact and share in her life’s journey up until this point. The interview took place at the Mudhouse Café. It was roughly 6:00 P .
M . I can plainly remember the atmosphere. Coffee shops are always calm and welcoming, and that day was no different. The only hard part was trying to find a place that was quiet enough so that the recorder could pick up everything that was said amongst the two of us. I believe that the area I chose in the café was the quietest I could find; however, after reviewing the interview, there are certain areas where it is quite difficult to pick up everything that we said. All of the background noise seemed to drown out the minute Rowena started speaking. Something about her story captivated my interest, and the hour that we sat there seemed to go by in an instant. Her story had many interesting aspects to it that I will hold on to.
Rowena has been to many different places around the nation. She grew up in the Ozarks, but then, when it came to decide what college she would attend, she decided to go to Rhode
Island to Brown University to study Urban Studies. After graduating, because of the influence of her father being a doctor, she decided to study physical therapy at Columbia University in New
York. Once she graduated from that institute, she could not find a job locally as a physical therapist, so she moved to California. She then went on to work in the fashion industry. Finally, after a long haul there, she decided to come back to Missouri to be around her family, where she now works as a director for a wedding album company.
Her journey to of all of these places began in the Ozarks, where she grew up in a Catholic family and school. Both of her parents, who are from the Philippines, were of the Catholic faith
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2 so they enrolled her in a Catholic school. She described how her whole life revolved around her religion; she felt like she was in church all of the time. One of the things that she disliked about the church was that she felt she was never able to ask questions. She was never able to ask tough questions like, “Why is the pope infallible?” She explained that the teachers just thought that things were the way they were, and that was the end of it. These thoughts of hers reached their peak when she began to have friends who were coming out as being gay. Because of this, she felt disconnected from the church, which she felt had a demonizing attitude toward homosexuals. So from that point, she wanted to get as far away from the Ozarks as she could.
One thing led to another, and she ran into some fellow students who were meditating.
This became the start of something for Rowena that would change the rest of her life, and it was further facilitated when she moved to California. This is where she went to her first meditation retreat. At first, she felt like she was not very good at it. She always found herself thinking about other things rather than focusing on her breath (which is the main focus in meditation). But this time, instead of receiving criticism from her instructors, she received love and acceptance hearing replies such as, “That’s not a problem. It’s totally normal.” This was what seemed to pull her into the practice of meditation. From then on, she has been meditating almost every day of her life. She feels it has led her to accept and love herself, which in turn, has enabled her to pour into other people’s lives.
Rowena is not currently married. And when asked if she would want to marry someone who had the same beliefs as her, she explained that it really didn’t matter as long as they shared some common values, which she says are “the essentials to human life.” She feels she and a potential partner can have different beliefs and learn from one another. Ironically, before we started the interview, her current boyfriend came in. He did not interrupt the interview, and he
Missouri State University Spring 2011 Religious Lives of Ozarks Women

3 graciously allowed us to go through with the process before their date for the evening. I further questioned how she felt about raising her children as Buddhist meditators, and she said she felt that she would want to instill that in her children; but ultimately, they would have to make their own decision.
I have come to understand that Rowena is not, in my opinion, a Buddhist. She simply is a practitioner of meditation. She is concerned with the here and now, which, as she explained, is the only purpose of meditation for her. While it seems to be doing a lot for how she lives her life and treats people now, there seemed to be no hope for the future (in terms of an afterlife).
However, when we discussed the deep essence of an eternal perspective, I could sense deep down that she believed that there was a God. This is different than what Buddhism actually teaches about reaching Nirvana. There is no deity to worship in Buddhism. I could sense some implementation of her Catholic roots in believing in the existence of a higher power, a God.
Rowena just wants to feel accepted; she wants to feel loved. Because she ran into people at the meditation retreat who loved her unconditionally, she responded to their teaching and adopted that as her own practice, but I believe deep down the Holy Spirit has a hold of her heart.
After the interview was over, I turned off the recorder and asked if I could share what had been pressing relentlessly on my heart from the beginning. I explained that I felt she received, whether intently or not, a distorted view of Christianity from her Catholic days in school, a view that I wished to try to set on a straighter path. To my surprise, she was very open to my faith. She asked numerous questions about what my beliefs were and what my motivation was for every day. I felt humbled to share with her that my essence for existence was none other than the Cross of Christ. I tried to share with her that even though there does seem to be this stereotype of
“religious people” condemning gays; we are all fallen and faltered and we are all in need of a
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Savior. I shared my testimony of how God radically changed my life. The more I spoke, I could start to see her eyes begin to water, and that’s when I just felt the Holy Spirit tugging on her heart, drawing her to truth. What will come of that night? I don’t know, but what I do know is something powerful took place that evening. I was blessed to be able to learn from an extraordinary person and was, only by the grace of God, allowed to share how he has changed my life. This part of the interview is not on the recorder because it was not part of the interview.
Just as I explained, I was not there to push my beliefs on anyone, so I only found it appropriate to turn the recorder off. But what’s done is done, and I do believe that somewhere down the line, she will come to know Christ personally.
Missouri State University Spring 2011 Religious Lives of Ozarks Women