Week 9: How do American parents
divide the work of parenting?

Many studies documenting that women, in
the U.S. and in the world, do more than
half of the parenting, even if:

They say they believe in equal sharing
 E.g.
Hochschild, Second Shift
They work comparable hours
 They make comparable incomes
 WHY IS THIS THE CASE? HOW DID YOU
PICTURE THIS IN YOUR MARRIAGE
CONTRACT EXERCISE?

Sociology 1201
My partner and I
Feminist movement and our Intention to
share equally
 First year after son’s birth: sharing the
exhaustion, celebrating
 Second year and move to Duluth:

Dad teaching and Mom in nursing school
 “Momdad”

Third year: the end of all our good
intentions. Why?
Sociology 1201
Halving it All: Francine Deutsch
Research method: Convenience sample of
429 couples, each partner working at least
20 hrs a week and with at least one child
under 18
 96% white
 Religiously diverse
 Averaged 2 children
 Average age of children: 5 and 8
 Over-represent upper middle class

Sociology 1201
Initial telephone interviews
Initial interview of 15 minutes with each
partner(separately), mostly by phone
 Key question: “Considering everything that
goes into parenting in a typical week, what
% do you do and what % does your
spouse do.”

Sociology 1201
Face-to-face interviews

Long face-to-face interviews(1-4 hours,
avg 2 hrs) with 30 couples in each of five
groups
1. Equal sharers, where both agreed
2. Potential equal sharers (at least one spouse
reported husband doing 50%+)
3. 60-40 couples
4. 75-25 couples
5. Alternating shift couples
Sociology 1201
Creating Equality at Home
Many of the equal sharers did not begin
equal; even if they did, making a success
of it required conflict and compromise.
Must negotiate standards for what
Hochschild calls “the second shift.” What
constitutes good housekeeping, good
meals, and most of all, good childcare.

Sociology 1201
Fighting for equality
Dorothy: “I actually went on strike a few
times.”
 Roberta: “That is when we entered into our
hard negotiations… I think I sort of learned
to talk back—to sort of stand up for
myself.”
 Rita: “Of course we are always arguing
about which way it’s tilted.”

Sociology 1201
Creating Inequality at home

Denise and Eric


Eric: “I’m either more selfish or I just don’t have the patience.”
D needs Denise: “I have greater needs to nurture;. Eric is
more ambitious. “ (family myths: Hochschild)
Ethan and Peg:


Peg: “Sometimes I feel like I have no time for myself ever…
There are days when I feel like I’m just going crazy.”
Ethan: “I don’t have the opportunity or the desire… If I come
home from work at six-thirty, seven, I’m tired, basically
fatigued.”
Sociology 1201
Fighting against equality

A husband: “She probably won’t sit still on
a Sunday… She’s not happy unless she’s
doing something. I’m different. I can relax.”
 “Carol
works 52 hours a week and also does
virtually all the housework. When I asked how her
husband responded to her desire for him to do
more he said: “I just chuckle.”
 …she seems resigned, perhaps because his
behavior seems so normal…. “I see it in a lot of the
guys.”
Sociology 1201
Sharers and Slackers

Sharers: the men do more paid work but
“when they are available, they are every bit as
involved as their wives.”

Slackers : “the men who relax while their
wives do the second shift”
Sociology 1201
Why might a woman accept less
than she believes is fair?
Arlie Hochschild, The Second Shift
The economy of gratitude:
“I just kind of do it. He helps much more
than a lot of fathers help.”
To whom do wives and husbands compare
the husband’s contribution to the second
shift?
Sociology 1201
Strategies of Resistance to equality
“No initiative: “I’ll do anything you want… just tell
me what.”
 Passive resistance: “the kids could be yelling
and screaming. He’s just oblivious.”
 Incompetence: “I wasn’t as good as Roz. Roz’s
just good.”
 Praise: “She’s wonderful as a mother. I feel
lucky to have her as a partner because it takes a
lot of the burden off me.”
Sociology 1201
Symbolic interaction/conflict theory
Deutsch: “The myth implicitly promulgated
by these men is that their wives do the
work at home… because they notice it,
they’re better at it, and they enjoy it more.”
 The larger culture’s assumptions about
women who put in too many hours of paid
work and men who share equally at
home. ( Coworkers, bosses, relatives,
friends)
Sociology 1201
Creating a new social world of
sharing the second shift
¾ of the equally sharing fathers know
someone else doing the same
Only 18% of the 25-75 fathers know an
equal sharer
“Equal sharers… actively work to create this
alternative world.”
Sociology 1201
Cultural images
Mothering and self: “I want to be with her
every minute.”
Men and work. “You may be able to limit
work hours, but only at the cost of
advancement.”
 Deutsch: “Male investment and female
disinvestment in jobs fuels the inequality
in parenting.”
Sociology 1201
Functionalism
Institutions are interdependent
Trends in the economy
Deindustrialization, globalization, and wages
NOW, Oct. 24, 2004: In 48 of 50 states
industries adding jobs paying less than
industries losing jobs (30% less in Minnesota)
Female work force participation
Sociology 1201
Functionalism again



Is it an accident that work seems to increasingly
take precedence over family, in a society that is
globalized and must compete with countries
around the globe?
What would be the costs of de-emphasizing
work and career, not for individuals but for the
society?
Is it a given that whatever creates the most
powerful economy (and society) is also best for
the individuals in that society?
Sociology 1201
Are we (the U.S.) a pro-child
society?

“Caring for Our Young: Childcare in
Europe and the United States,” Clawson
and Gerstel
France: full day, free ecoles maternelles that
enroll almost 100% of three-, four-, and fiveyear olds (p. 266)
 Denmark: non-school model. “From birth to
age six, most Danish children go to childcare
but in a non-school setting.” p. 267

Sociology 1201
Hochschild, The Time Bind




Field study of a large industrial corporation in
Milwaukee:
Amerco’s” workers consistently reported being
strained to the limit.
The company offered policies that would allow
them to cut back.
Almost no one took the policies; in fact, most
people she talked to seemed to be increasing
their hours!
Sociology 1201
Top Managers




Hochschild: “The twelve top managers I interviewed all
worked between 50 and 70 hours a week.”
About their parenting: “If you had it to do over again,
would you do anything differently?” “I don’t know. I can’t
answer that. Probably not.”
What about women managers who have children? “I
don’t know how they do it.”
“Just because a few women are concerned with balance
doesn’t mean we change the rules. If they chose this
career, they’re going to have to pay for it in hours
Sociology 1201
What needs to change to make
equal sharing more possible?
“Conventional careers demand the
willingness to put in long working hours, to
relocate for good job opportunities, to
shield work from personal responsibilities,
and to give work priority over family.
Career building at its most intense occurs
during the childbearing years.”
 You’ll have to accept it that you’ll
accomplish less in the world of work.

Sociology 1201
Final words from changing parents

A mother: “I think a child can have two
number ones, I really do… I am not afraid of
losing my role.”

“When I asked Barry if he thought his child
had two mothers or two fathers, he was
surprised by his own answer. ‘Boy, that’s a
great question and as much as it’s an affront
to my masculinity, I think it’s more like two
mothers. Yeah I really do.”
Sociology 1201