Improving second language learners’ writing
through explicit story structure instruction
By Ms Ho-lan POON
Ying Yin Catholic Primary School
Please discuss the following:
• Why are you interested in this topic?
• What is your expectation of this sharing session?
Ying Yin Catholic Primary School
Website:
http://www.yingyin.edu.hk
Email address: yingyin@school.net.hk
Teacher:
Ms Ho-lan POON
Tel:
2476-2946
Introduction
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School background
Objectives
Action planning
The actions taken
Reflection
Background
• Located in Tan Kwai Tsuen,
Hung Shui Kiu
• 13 teachers in total
• Textbook-bound
• High flexibility in teaching style, e.g.
co-teaching, interest group… etc.
Our concern
Learning how to plan the structure of a
whole story is a writing skill that many
teachers feel unsure how to teach and pupils
are given limited opportunities to learn.
Students’ writing
at the beginning of the school term
Class: 5A
Yoyo
My good Friend
Steven is my good friend. He
is always late for school…
(guided writing: one
paragraph, around 40 words)
Class: 5A
Lillian
I’m going to Japan. There
are a lot of shops. I’ll get
there by…
(guided writing: one
paragraph, around 30
words)
Please discuss the following:
• Do your students have similar problems in writing?
How do you help them overcome the problems?
Objectives
• To arouse students’ interest in writing
• To raise students’ confidence in writing
• To explore how far explicit story
structure instruction can help to improve
second language learners’ writing in local
context
Action planning
Research topic:
Improving second language learners’ writing through explicit
story structure instruction
Subjects:
10 Primary 5 students
Try-out period:
October – December 2003 (nine to ten 45-min periods)
Time:
7:45 to 8:30 am on Fridays
Selection of reading texts
Our implementation plan
Phase 1: Raising students’ awareness in text
patterns and structures (Weeks 1-4)
• Reading texts 1 – 3: simple texts written
with patterned and natural language
Phase 2: Explicit story structure instruction
(Weeks 5-8)
• Reading texts 4 – 6: stories with with
simple story structures
Phase 3: Writing simple stories using
appropriate story structure for planning and
drafting (Weeks 9-10)
Phase 1
Raising students’ awareness in
text patterns and structures
(Weeks 1-4)
The actions taken
Teaching procedure for reading texts 1 & 2:
1. The teacher had shared reading with
students.
2. The teacher modelled creative writing
using a PowerPoint.
3. The teacher asked students to complete
worksheets.
Worksheet for creative writing
Cinderella Dressed in Yellow
By Rozanne Lanczak Williams
Cinderella dressed in ___________________
Went downstairs to __________________________________________.
How many _______________________________________________?
Cinderella dressed in ___________________
Went downstairs and _________________________________________.
How many _______________________________________________?
Cinderella dressed in ___________________
Went downstairs to __________________________________________.
How many _______________________________________________?
Please discuss the following:
• How to share the success criteria with students?
Cinderella Dressed in Yellow
By David and Bryan
Cinderella dressed in yellow Rhyming words
Went downstairs to say hello.
How many people say hello?
Cinderella dressed in pink
Went downstairs and go to drink.
How many drinks did she drink?
Cinderella dressed in green
Went downstairs to be a Queen.
How many crowns did she have?
interrogative
Cinderella Dressed in white
By Cindy, Amy and Yo-yo
Rhyming words
Cinderella dressed in white
Went downstairs to fly a kite.
How many kites did she fly?
Cinderella dressed in pink
Went downstairs and find her ink.
How many bottles of ink did she find?
Cinderella dressed in gold
Went downstairs to hold her bowl.
How many bowls did she hold?
interrogative
Cinderella Dressed in Brown
By Bobo, Kiki, Wendy, Gigi, Tina
Rhyming words
Cinderella dressed in brown
Went downstairs to go the town.
How many towns did she pass?
Cinderella dressed in red
Went downstairs and go to buy the bread.
How many pieces of bread did she get?
Cinderella dressed in purple
Went downstairs to eat apple.
How many apples did she get?
interrogative
The revised reading text
When I grow up
When I grow up
I would like to be famous
On TV.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A baker
In a bakery.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A mermaid
In the deep blue sea.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A millionaire
With jewellery.
The reading text is revised
to help the students
recognize the simple
structure of each stance
Vocabulary list for the students
When I grow up
When I grow up
I would like to be
A singer and a dancer
on stage.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A doctor in a clinic.
When I grow up
I would like to be an air hostess
in the aeroplane.
When I grow up
I would like to be a secretary
With my computer.
By Kiki, Gigi
When I grow up
By Tina, Wendy
When I grow up
I would like to be
Rich and not short
On TV.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A Winnie the Pooh in a honey.
When I grow up
I would like to be a salesman
In the shop.
When I grow up
I would like to be a pianist
With the piano.
Words that the students
are interested in but not
given in the vocabulary
list
When I grow up
By Cindy Chow, Yo-yo, Amy
When I grow up
I would like to be
Clever and polite
in the office.
When I grow up
I would like to be
An Aladdin in flying in the sky.
When I grow up
I would like to be a chef
In the western restaurant.
When I grow up
I would like to be a detective
With my magnifier.
Words that the students
are interested in but not
given in the vocabulary list
When I grow up
By David
When I grow up
I would like to be
Clever and strong
on TV.
When I grow up
I would like to be
A pilot in an aeroplane.
When I grow up
I would like to be an astronaut
In the space.
When I grow up
I would like to be an archeologist
With a lot of antique.
Words that the
students are interested
in but not given in the
vocabulary list
Please discuss the following:
• Do you think students enjoyed reading the books
and doing the reading tasks?
Students’ feedback
WE DON’T LIKE
WORKSHEETS!!
Please discuss the following:
• What improvement will you make then?
The actions taken
Teaching procedure for reading texts 3 to 6:
1. The teacher had shared reading with students.
2. The teacher modelled creative writing by
showing a PowerPoint
3. The students took part in different tasks and
practised more free writing.
Please discuss the following:
• How is this story different from the first two? How to
help students understand better?
Worksheet again???
Lunch with Cat and Dog
by Rozanne Lanczak Williams
“A _____________! I want the most!” said Cat.
“OK,” said Dog.
“__________________________________ for you
and ________________________________ for me.”
“Yes!” said Cat.
…
The students are given some cutouts of food.
They can divide the food in different ways, and
write a short dialogue (like the one provided
above) in pairs.
“A chocolate cake! I want the most” demanded Bo-Bo. “OK,”
said Amy.
“Two pieces for you and one piece for me.”
“I’m full” said Bo-Bo.
“Me too!” said Amy.
“A pizza! I want the most!” said gigi.
“OK,” said yoyo.
“Seven pieces for you and one piece for me.”
“Yes!” said Gigi.
Miss Poon: “An ice-cream! I want the most.”
David: “OK.” “Three cones for you and one cone for me.” “Two
pieces for you and one piece for me.”
Miss Poon: “Good!!”
“A cookie with ice-cream! I want the most” screamed Wendy.
“OK,” said Tina.
“Eight pieces for you and one piece for me.”
“Hooray!” said Wendy.
“A big meat ball! I want the most!” said Yo-yo.
OK! said Cindy.
“Two plates for you and one plate for me.”
“Yes!” said Yo-yo.
“Fruit jelly! I want the most!” said Cat.
Two bowls for you and one bowl for me.”
“Yes!” said Cat.
“An egg tart! I want the most!” said Dog.
“OK,” said Cat.
“Two boxes for you and one box for me.”
“Yes!” said Cat.
Phase 2
Explicit story structure instruction
(Weeks 5-8)
Please discuss the following:
• Do you know this story? Please share your
experience in teaching this story.
Story map:
Day of the
week story
Each student is asked to write
down the food eaten by the
caterpillar on a particular weekday
assigned by the teacher on draft
paper.
Students’ suggestions
On Monday, he ate through an sushi, some slice of pizza, ten biscuit,
on bottle of milk, but he was still hungry.
On Tuesday, he ate through one roast goose leg, two slices of pizza,
three scoops of ice-cream and four pieces of cherry pie, but he was
still hungry.
On Wednesday, he ate through a ham sandwich, a mango pudding, a
four spicy sausages, but he was still hungry.
On Thursday, he ate through one packet of soya milk, one packet of
baked potato and two packet of chocolate, but he was still hungry.
On Friday, he ate through a salmon sushi, two packets of biscuit, three
sausages and four slice of salami, but he was still hungry.
On Saturady, he ate through one ice-cream, one strawberry cakes, two
lollipops, one piece of chocolate pie, but he was still hungry.
Making the longest caterpillar in the world
Each student writes down the food eaten by the caterpillar on a particular
weekday on a paper strip. The two ends of each strip is then stuck
together to form a loop. The loops interlock to form the long body of a
caterpillar which is then displayed on the notice board.
Please discuss the following:
• Do you know this story? Please share your
experience in teaching this story.
Story map:
Cumulative
story
There was an ugly
girl who swallowed a
fish
By David
There was an ugly girl
who swallowed a fish
There was an ugly girl
who swallowed a fish
She swallowed a crab
to eat the fish.
She swallowed a cat to
catch the crab.
She swallowed a
monkey to eat the cat.
She swallowed a
spaceboy to eat the
monkey.
神舟五號
I don’t know how she
swallowed a space ship.
Interview with David
There was a tall
lady who swallowed
a ant
By Shum Lai Yin
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a ant
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a ant.
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a
cockroach. That
wriggled and wriggled
and tickled inside her.
She swallowed a
cockroach to catch the
ant.
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a
butterfly. How absurd
to swallow a butterfly!
She swallow a
butterfly to catch to
cockroach.
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a bird.
Well, fancy that, She
swallow a bird! She
swallow the bird to
catch the butterfly!
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a
Monkey! I don’t know
how she swallow a
Monkey. She swallow a
Monkey to catch the
bird!
There was a tall girl
who swallowed a …
What a hog, to swallow
a lion. She swallow the
lion to catch the
monkey!
The reading text
Rosie’s walk
Rosie the hen went for a walk
across the yard,
around the pond,
over the haycock,
past the mill,
through the fence,
under the beehives,
and got back in time for dinner.
Please discuss the following:
• Do you know this story? Please share your
experience in teaching this story.
Tracing Rosie’s route
Story map: Journey story
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
Designing a new route for Rosie
Rosie’s walk (by students)
Rosie the hen went for a walk
around the farm
past the car exhibition
past the swimming pool
past the playground
across the park
past the book fair
past the shop
across the house
past the primary school
under the graveyard
and get back in time for sleeping.
Please discuss the following:
• Do you know this story? Please share your
experience in teaching this story.
Phase 3
Writing simple stories
using appropriate story structures
for planning and drafting
(Weeks 9-10)
The actions taken
Final writing project: Message in a bottle
1.
The students imagine that they were left on a
deserted island, and had to write letters to ask
for help. Each of them is given a unique
situation to handle.
2.
Each student could choose one out of the
three story maps to plan their writing
You are left on a deserted island. You decide to write a
letter and put it in a bottle. Hopefully someone will see
it and come to rescue you.
In the letter, you may choose one of the following topic
and write:
1)You felt very hungry. What did you find to eat?
What did you swallow? How did you feel?
2)Where did you go? Over the hills? Down the bridge?
Across the river?
3)You have stayed on the island for a week. What did
you do on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,…?
What happened?
4) When I were free, I would...
13 different places for the students to choose
Word cards: 13 different places
1. bridge
5. tree house
10. tents
2. palace
6. igloo
11. cave
3. waterfall
7. volcano
12. huts
4. under the water
8. jungle
9. desert
13. graveyard
Word cards: animals / things you see on the island
skull
crab
hamster
Lion king
fairy
skeleton
snake
bear
parrot
dog
turtle
cat
squirrel
dinosaur
alien
Octopus
camel
unicorn
monsters
Drawing pictures about what happened
on the island
Story map 1
What did you do?
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
(Days of the week story: “The very hungry caterpillar”)
Story map 2
Cumulative story:
“There was an old lady
who swallowed a fly”
Story map 3
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
__________
_____________
(Journey story: “Rosie’s walk”)
Sharing the plans in groups
From planning
to drafting…
Published on school web site:
http://www.yingyin.edu.hk
I felt very hungry. First I ate
a red apple. It’s sweet.
Secondly, I ate a piece of meat.
It’s salty. Next I ate a fish.
It’s sweet and sour…
(Lillian)
I felt hungry. First, I
ate two apples.
Secondly, I ate three
bananas. Then I ate
two water melons. Then
I ate six mangoes.
Then I ate ten cherries.
After that, I ate nine
strawberries, four
apples and five lemons.
Finally, I ate three
strawberries, four
apples and three water
melons. They were
sweet.
(Gigi)
I saw a skeleton. Next I met a
hamster. Then I saw a dinosaur
and a crab fighting. Then I
looked at a camel, a unicorn, a
fairy and an octopus playing
chess. After that, I smelt two
turtles, one monster and a cat.
Finally I saw an alien dancing.
(Cindy)
I had stayed on the island
for a week. On Monday, I
saw a lot of kinds of fish!
On Tuesday, I ate a lot of
fish. On Wednesday, I
went swimming with turtle
in the water! On Thursday,
I ate some crabs... On
Friday, I saw a sea snake
swimming. On Saturday, I
saw a fairy in the sea. It
was spectacular.
(Tina)
I had stayed on the island for a week.
On Sunday, I made a big house. On
Monday, I found some leaves and made
a shirt. On Tuesday, I found some food
to eat. On Wednesday and Thursday, I
slept. On Friday I felt very hungry and
ate a lot of leaves. On Saturday, I slept.
On Sunday, I made a boat. I was very
happy. I hoped I could go home soon.
(David)
Please discuss the following:
• Is this the ultimate target? What is the next step?
How are we going to extend the experience of story
structure instruction this year (04-05)?
• What are the impacts on your teaching?
Thanks