ODE TO PROFESSOR HORN
Kimberly Knapp
Let me share with you some interesting information about my English teacher,
I can imagine her as a politician, but not a preacher.
In one word, she is classy,
In two words, she is funny and sassy.
She makes me work for my grade,
Hopefully, on my essay an A will be made.
Her motto is work, work, work, write, write, write, and read, read, read,
She really wants me to succeed.
Reading, writing, what is she saying?
I don’t think she is playing.
When I think my essay is nice,
All she can see is the comma splice.
And just when I think I am safe, gee whiz!
It’s time for another quiz.
When I see the question on the board, “What technique?”
I almost freak!
A simile or a metaphor, oh, what can it be?
Why didn’t I re-read Grant and Lee?
Or was it The Fender Bender or Generation Debt?
Next week, I will study, you can bet!
I dream of shooting elephants and living in France,
Do they have to take English 1301, or are they at a dance?
If someone is a “no show,”
She says “Minus twenty, now let’s go.”
I am feeling like I’m going to sink,
And she is on her website opening another link.
When I see her blinking,
She is really doing her critical thinking!
While I am coming out of a daze,
She starts talking about paraphrase!
And who are these FANBOYS I heard her mention?
Right after she explained a proper indention.
I don’t think this group has been here,
Were they at the rodeo this year?
And for heaven’s sake,
She thinks I should learn from my mistakes.
Then she mentions something about a PowerPoint,
It is definitely time to blow this joint.
Write a paper about myself but don’t use I or you,
Who knew?
I’m crazy about all of her bling bling,
Every class she wears a unique ring.
Let’s call Judge Judy for a laugh,
Maybe she needs an English professor on her staff.
Professor Horn might like working there since she loves court TV,
And picking on me!
I am here to make an A,
She is here because it makes her day.
In reality, I am the one who chose her class,
Now, I just hope and pray I pass.
And if I have learned anything at all,
It is that I hope she teaches English 1302 in the fall.
Spring 2010