WRITE ON TARGET
WRITING SEMINAR
NOTES
&
HELP FILE
Craig James Gunn
Department of Mechanical Engineering
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
gunn@egr.msu.edu
Table of Contents
I. The Write on Target Workshop
Outline
1. Prelude
2. Awareness
3. The Report
4. Audience
5. Structure
6. Language
7. Revision
8. Review
8. Sample Text
3-45
3
4
8
12
20
28
32
34
38
40
II. Communication Techniques and Formats
Help Section
47-100
Technical Writing is
Sample Text
Subject/Verb Agreement
Sentence Variety/Types
Paragraph Construction
47
48
50
51
Topic Sentences
Irregular Verbs
Active/Passive Voice
Pronouns
Consistency
Flow I (see 97)
Commas
Semicolons
Colons
Compound Words
Grammatical Things/Awareness
Direct Language
Jargon
Cliches
52
53
54
54
55
55
56
57
57
58
59
60
61
62
Sexist Language
Serious Paper Ruined?
Readings that can help
Revision Checklists
Creating References
Formats
Memos
Memo Exercises
Formal Reports
Abstracting
Executive Summaries
Example Abstract
E-Mail
Inappropriate Language
Editorial Marks
Progress Reports
Problem Statements
Thank You Notes
Cover Letters
Letters in General
Response Letters
RESUMES
Presentations
Visual aids
Editing
Margin Notes
Flow II
Final Comments
The Final Checklist
63
64
65
66
67
68
68
69
71
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
92
93
94
95
96
97
99
100
OUTLINE
(The Writing Workshop)
1. PREFACE
Goals and Objectives
The Writing Session’s Focus
2. Co-op Writing Session Part I - Preliminaries
Issues of Importance
Why Communicate
What Technical Communication Is
Things to Think of When Communicating
3. Co-op Writing Session Part II - Structure
The Numbers Exercise
Knowing the Format
The Evaluation Form
Design Notebook
Info-collection Sheet
Work Report Guidelines
Formats
memos
e-mail
4. Co-op Writing Session Part III –Audience and the
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Flowing Text
Delving into the Text
Knowing to whom the text is directed
Porphyria Bliek
Construction
Principles for technical writing
Sentence variety
Writing Helps
Paragraph coherence
Language
Choosing your vocabulary
Jargon
Transitions
Revising your text
5. An Example Text
As you move through the workshop
information and the help unit that
follows, you will notice that the font
styles change and the sizes become
smaller and larger and then back
again. It was the intention of the
author that when viewing the text, the
reader would not be put to sleep with a
5
monotonous uniform font and size
text. I hope that this works.
6
Preface
It is necessary to understand that a good work report will incorporate the
information that is asked for in your given outlines with a strong sense of
audience. If your readers can understand the structure of what you have done,
can follow your lead with the information that you give them, and can enjoy
the process of gaining insights from you then you will have succeeded in your
effort to produce a worthwhile piece of text. Therefore, you should be
concerned with:
Structure
Audience
Flow
The Report Itself
Language
Revision
Concern with these areas will ensure that you are on the right track when it
comes to creating a good text.
One of the things that seems to be in front of us on a daily basis is the cartoon
page of The State News or any other publication. Take a little time to browse
through those cartoons and see if you notice any that reflect the following
issues. Take the time to cut them out and look them over every once in awhile.
They may help you to remember the importance of the issues.
7
language to fit the audience
clear explanations
know your audience
what do they think of me
shaping the response
How do you and your audience perceive things
Goals and objectives of the co-op writing workshop:
The participant will be able to:
explain the purpose of the report
explain audience needs in language, structure, and style
explain the process for obtaining material for the report
explain the organization of the co-op report
explain the ways to improve flow
explain the ways to build sentences and paragraphs
explain the ways to control wordiness
explain the ways to improve readers' understanding
revision, creating technical text,
8
The presentation will answer the following questions:
Why write the report?
Who is it for?
What is to be conveyed?
How is it to be conveyed?
How can it be improved?
2. Co-op Writing Session Part I - Preliminaries
SOME ISSUES THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS
Saying Words but not thinking
What your words do to readers
Words are more than just words
Making words work for you
Presenting information that your readers understand
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Technical Communication
What Technical Writing is
What non-technical writing is
informative
contains facts
objective
unemotional
doesn't try to persuade
emotional
personal/subjective
based on opinion or judgment
tries to advertise itself
WHAT TECHNICAL WRITING MUST BE:
A. TRUTHFUL (THE FORD PINTO WILL NEVER CATCH FIRE)
B. DISINTERESTED (IT WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS IF YOU DIDN'T),
C. LOGICALLY DEVELOPED (2,3, 14, 15, 23, 123, 235),
D. NO EMOTION (THE TEARS ROLLED DOWN HIS CHEEKS, BUT HE DIDN'T
KNOW WHY HE CRIED)
E. NO UNSUPPORTED OPINIONS (I THINK THAT THE MOON IS MADE OF
GREEN CHEESE.)
F. SINCERE (AMELIA EARHART ALIVE ON SOUTH SEA ISLAND AS BRIDE
OF HITLER - WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO A 500 POUND BABY - I WAS THE BRIDE
OF AN ALIEN.)
G. NOT ARGUMENTATIVE (YOU HAD BETTER BELIEVE THIS OR I'LL BEAT
THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU)
H. NOT DIRECTLY PERSUASIVE ( HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU)
I. DOES NOT EXAGGERATE ( THE MONSTER WAS AS BIG AS THE STATE OF
TEXAS)
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WHY SPEND TIME COMMUNICATING?
Y for you
R for the reader
WHY SPEND TIME COMMUNICATING? We should be clear in our minds
about why we make the effort to communicate in the first place. It must be
evident to us at all times that we are the most important readers of our own
writing.
Reasons for us to communicate to ourselves:
Y1.
Y2.
Y3.
Y4.
Y5.
Y6.
Allows you to see what you know.
Provides you with a basis upon which to seek new information.
Clearly indicates to you gaps in information.
Gives you a foundation upon which to build.
Your future will be filled with it.
Job fulfillment will depend on it.
Reasons for us to communicate to others:
R1.
R2.
R3.
R4.
Presents information to your readers.
Provides a basis upon which to judge your knowledge.
Indicates your interest and abilities in an area of
knowledge.
Gives readers an opportunity to expand their knowledge.
GAINING AN AWARENESS OF THE JOB TO BE DONE - Before you
begin to write you need to be aware of why the report is important to you.
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What to think about when you prepare to write
purpose
message
organization
communication
forget about quality at first
get ideas down as quickly as possible
revision
format
look first at content
clarity
standards of writing
brevity
style
Sam the Plumber
Here we have a number of letters and the responses to them. The letters show that
neither of the writers knew what the other was talking about. They represent the
inability to communicate because of lack of audience concern or knowledge and an
inability to hear the problems that are being stated by the writer.
TO: U.S BUREAU OF STANDARDS
DEAR SIR:
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IS IT OKAY TO USE HYDROCHLORIC ACID TO CLEAN DRAIN PIPES?
SAM, THE PLUMBER
___________________________________________________________________
TO: SAM, THE PLUMBER
SIR:
THE EFFICACY OF HYDROCHLORIC ACID IS INDISPUTABLE, BUT THE
CHLORINE IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH METALLIC PERMANENCE.
U.S.BUREAU OF STANDARDS
__________________________________________________________________
TO: U.S. BUREAU OF STANDARDS
DEAR SIRS:
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW THAT IT IS OK TO USE
HYDROCHLORIC ACID TO CLEAN DRAIN PIPES.
SAM, THE PLUMBER
---------------------------------------------------------------------TO: SAM T.PLUMBER
SIR:
WE CANNOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PRODUCTION OF
TOXIC NOXIOUS RESIDUES WITH HYDROCHLORIC ACID AND SUGGEST
THAT YOU PERUSE AN ALTERNATE PROCEDURE.
U.S.BUREAU OF STANDARDS
__________________________________________________________________
TO: U.S.BUREAU OF STANDARDS
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DEAR SIRS:
GLAD TO KNOW THAT YOU AGREE WITH MY IDEA.
SAM,THE PLUMBER
___________________________________________________________________
TO: SAM T.PLUMBER
SAM,
DON'T USE HYDROCHLORIC ACID. IT EATS THE HELL OUT OF PIPES!
___________________________________________________________________
OR
"THE SPONTANEOUS AND ENERGY-RELEASING INTERACTION OF
ATMOSPHERIC CONSTITUENTS WITH THE MOLECULAR STRUCTURE OF
THE MATERIAL CAUSES TO BE PRODUCED A TIME-VARYING CONDITION
OF UNSTABLE STRUCTURAL EQUILIBRIUM DISTRIBUTED SPATIALLY OVER
THE CYLINDRICAL SURFACE.
TRANSLATION: "RUST EATS THE HELL OUT OF PIPES"
Sam the plumber shows the ease in which neither readers nor writers are able
to understand the other's response. Each fails to understand who is reading his
notes and how they are being interpreted.
3. Co-op Writing Session Part II - Structure
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The Numbers’ Exercise
Look at the following numbers. Time yourself. In two minutes, connect the
numbers in consecutive order from 1 to the last number. At the end of two
minutes how many numbers had you connected. Look for any patterns in the
number scheme. When you discover the pattern to the numbers, try the
exercise again. Did you do better? Why?
Introduction to the co-op report
A. The report that you will produce began the minute that you received
your information packet.
B. Everything related to your job, your experience, and your education
thus far is important in the development of the report that you will
produce for co-op experience.
C. Communication is important for you because it provides you with a
gauge of what you know and what additional information you have to
discover.
D. The purpose of the report is to demonstrate to a reader the amount
and quality of the work that has been achieved.
1.Notice how the above two tie in together BECAUSE YOU ARE
THE FIRST READER.
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Some things to think about when you are creating your text
Does the language that you use fit the audience that you are writing to.
a. Do you know how this audience communicates?
b. Do you need to find out more about how they communicate?
Is what you are saying clear to the reader?
a. Will these readers draw different conclusions than you do?
b. Are there words, phrases, or sections that could be interpreted
in a variety of ways?
Get to know your audience
a. Are there things that they prefer?
b. Do they expect any unique items?
c. How do they feel about the things you are writing about?
Shape your response to cover as many of the audience needs as you can
a. By knowing your audience you may be able to defuse problem
areas.
b. Take into consideration any constructions you can use to bring
your reader into a positive frame of mind.
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Think about the way that you and your audience perceive the things
around you.
a. Do engineers see things in the same way?
b. Do managers see things differently?
c. What language do you and they use?
With your awareness of why it is important to create a record of your co-op
experience, the following items hopefully will always be with you.
Effective communication -- BRAINSTORM THESE ON A REGULAR BASIS
why write? - to demonstrate the amount and quality of the work
you have done - FOR YOU AND YOUR READERS
who is the audience? - first you then everyone else then
specifically a closed set group, i.e. your managers
what is to be conveyed? - all the details of your work experience
to demonstrate the amount and quality
How will it be conveyed? - the co-op report
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what is the report exactly?- your investigation of the work
experience
Why does anyone want to communicate anyway?
One of the many important issues to remember about written communication is
that no reader ever criticizes a piece of text without drawing inferences about
the writer. The writer must always consider the question "What will the reader
think of this / me?" The interesting thing is that readers will generally think
negatively about a person before they make statements about a poor paper.
You are always thought of in the context of how you communicate. It is,
therefore, important to always make the best effort to create the most
professional text that you can.
Readers do not JUST comment on papers; they evaluate and criticize the
writers. You have to make sure that what you produce reflects upon you in the
most positive way.
Your work report evaluation form
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Ways to make this easier
Start collecting information as quickly as you can
Use things like the design notebook format and the information
collection sheet
The design notebook is valuable forever. It allows you to
explore your technical expertise, inventive mind, and
inadequacies over a long period of time. If you start now to
collect information the report will unfold before you with a
much greater ease. It will also show you dimensions where
additional research is necessary.
Info-collection - (* means you have to do it continually
through the Semester)
1. Info session - What do you need for the report?__________
2*. Plant tour - What do you see?______________________________
3*. Co-op job orientation.
What are your responsibilities? What are the objectives of your position? Why does it exist?
Does it utilize your tech. background?
4. Who will you report to and how is this to be done?_________
5. Does the company have a particular style/format for text production. Is there anything peculiar
about producing text for them?
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6*. What previously learned material is to be used for your job?________
7*. What new learning must take place for you to complete your assignments?
8*. Are there areas that you have not needed to study but have investigated out of an interest
borne of the work assignment?______________
9. What is the organizational structure of the company?_________
What are the functions, products, or services of your unit/company?
10. Describe management and the workers in the company.__________
11. What is the relation of your unit to the rest of the company?
12*.What kind of evaluations have you received and what do they mean?
13*.Detailed account of your activities. _________________________
14*. What are you learning? _______________________________________
15*. Future assignments. __________________________________________
16*. What types of work assignments would be beneficial to your career?
17*. Are your career goals reinforced/modified during Co-op?______
18*. What is your focus on career goals?__________________________
Design Notebooks
These notebooks give you a chance to have a central location for information regarding your ideas
on design. They can be expanded to reflect your ideas on a myriad of subjects within the
engineering area. With changing input and new foci you can use the notebook to develop your
changing views on a topic.
1. Tie into the co-op experience the elements of writing that you
have seen in ATL or in any other class that requires writing.
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2. Try to remember what they told you in high school about
paragraph construction and sentences that meshed together to
make a coherent and interesting piece of writing. Think about
the ways that authors that you read put sentences, paragraphs,
and chapters together to convey a message.
3. Another good thing to mention hear is the necessity of doing
a lot of reading. As you read you discover the ways in which an
author puts ideas together: ways that you like and ways that you
find confusing. These reflections will help you to see ways in
which you ,too, can create professional text.
Here is the document that you will receive form the Co-op Division of The
College of Engineering. It addresses many questions that may now be in your
mind or may arise later.
MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY
COOPERATIVE ENGINEERING EDUCATION
104 Engineering Building, East Lansing, MI 48824-1226
Telephone: 517-355-5163; FAX: 517-432-1356; E-Mail: COOP@EGR.MSU.EDU
http://www.egr.msu.edu/Co-op/home.html
COOPERATIVE ENGINEERING EDUCATION
WORK REPORT QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
1. Why do I have to do a work report?
The Cooperative Engineering Education Program is designed to provide students the opportunity to
integrate their studies at Michigan State with educationally-related work experiences in a variety of
employment settings. As such, cooperative education becomes a part of the overall academic experience
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and an integral part of a student's engineering education. The required work report is one way that the
faculty can monitor and evaluate this experience. Therefore, the work report is used as the primary
means of determining a student's grade (and the award of credit) for EGR 393.
The work report should be considered as a formal academic assignment. It will be evaluated by a faculty
member of your department in this manner. It should be prepared with the same level of serious attention
and scholarship that would be given to any other academic assignment. Inadequate or late reports will
result in inferior or incomplete grades.
2. How long does it have to be?
The paper should be neatly prepared, generally about 5-7 pages in length, and written in the formal style
expected of a professional report. Be as specific and complete as possible. The reader should be able to
determine what type and amount of technically related learning has been accomplished. The emphasis
should be on the engineering and technical aspects of your position and how it relates to the organization,
its products, and services.
3. When is the report due?
Co-op reports are always due no later than the Friday before Final Exam Week.
4. How do I turn the report in?
Most students will use the traditional mail services to submit their report. However, you should realize
that other options are available. Reports can be sent by E-Mail (neatly formatted) or in Wordperfect or
MS-Word file on disk or as an attachment to E-Mail. (Students who submit reports electronically will
receive comments back in that format very quickly. However, a grade will not be assigned until the
suggested changes have been made. After the second submission, a final grade will be entered for these
students.)
REPORTS SUBMITTED BY FAX ARE STRONGLY DISCOURAGED!
5. What if I've been working on a "confidential" project?
Due to the confidential nature of many co-op assignments, many employers will require you to discuss
this assignment with them before you begin to write your report. You should know of any specific
guidelines established by your employer.
6. How should I begin to organize?
Review all materials and documents that relate to your assignment; including job descriptions, written
reports, organizational charts, and any evaluative comments you may have received. You may also wish
to consider keeping a journal or log of your activities to help you recall things you wish to address in
your report.
22
7. What else should I keep in mind?
You may also wish to have someone such as your coordinator, supervisor, mentor, or other individual
review your report. They may be able to provide meaningful comments and suggestions to improve your
effort. In addition, a well-developed written report can be an excellent way to promote your interests and
abilities within the organization. However, REMEMBER YOUR AUDIENCE! Your co-op report is
going to be evaluated by an MSU faculty member, not your supervisor.
8. Any other helpful hints?
You should keep a copy of the final version of your work report. We have had a few cases where reports
have been mis-placed, and it is helpful to have quick access to another copy.
Students should pick up their graded report and review faculty comments after returning to campus. You
may find this to be helpful in other courses or when interviewing for permanent positions or graduate
school.
The following reports can be used for any work report that you complete after your first co-op
experience. The first co-op report will be discussed in detail, shortly.
LEVEL II REPORT TECHNICAL PAPER (May be used to substitute for the Level I Report
for any co-op assignment, except for the first term)
I.
Cover Sheet (as outlined above in Level I report)
II.
Abstract Page (as outlined above)
III.
Technical Paper Discussion (This should be the major focus of your report)
Should contain: Abstract; Introduction; Analysis of Results; Discussion; and Conclusion
Provide an in-depth technical discussion of your co-op assignment. This should include an outline of your
assignment, the relationship to the organization's product or services, and your accomplishments. You may
include charts, graphs, printouts, designs, calculations, internal reports, and personal memos. However,
REMEMBER YOUR AUDIENCE! Your co-op report is going to be evaluated by an MSU faculty member,
not your supervisor. But, if you are working with classified or sensitive material, please make sure you have
clearance from your supervisor.
IV.
Qualitative Result of Co-op Experience
Has your employment experience met your expectations? In what ways has it differed from your objectives?
In what ways could your assignment be improved by your employer? by you? Have your assignments
provided a broad, developmental experience? and/or Has your co-op given you a progressive, in-depth
learning experience? Have you been satisfied with the level and nature of the supervision you have received?
What would you want your professors to know about your assignment, your educational enrichment, and
23
your overall development as an engineer?
************************************************************************************
********
LEVEL III REPORT (May be used to substitute for any Level I Report, except for the first term.
ALL LEVEL III REPORTS MUST BE APPROVED AT LEAST ONE MONTH IN ADVANCE BY
THE CO-OP OFFICE)
I.
Cover Sheet (as outlined above)
II.
Brief Abstract. Overview of your assignment, accomplishments,
and learning gained by this experience.
III.
Project
Examples could include:
-Oral presentation to department faculty in major field of study
-Video presentation
-Tour of your work site and an on-site presentation to a co-op member or a faculty member of any MSU
College of Engineering department.
-Group report
**ALL LEVEL III REPORTS MUST INCLUDE A COVER SHEET AND ABSTRACT (I & II
ABOVE)
YOUR FIRST WORK REPORT GUIDELINES
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COVER PAGE: To be included on all reports
I.
LEVEL OF REPORT (I, II, or III)
II.
Your complete name
List what # work term this is for you
Major; How far along in the major?
Address in city of employment, if applicable
III.
Complete position title and salary
IV.
Complete name of employing organization
Mailing address
Phone numbers
Name of unit or department's chief officer
Name and title of your immediate supervisor
V.
Name of organization's co-op coordinator
Name and title of your unit or department's chief officer
Name and title of your immediate supervisor
NOW THE PARTS THAT REQUIRE REAL WORK
Here we will deal with only the Level I report core parts. The importance of
the report is to give the writer a chance to present information to him or
herself. You are the one participating in the co-op experience. The importance
of the assignment lies in its ability to show you what you know about the job
and experience that you had.
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THINK ABOUT AN EXPERIENCE THAT YOU'VE HAD WHERE YOU
LATER LEARNED HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS LONG AFTER YOU
THOUGHT IT WAS WORTHLESS.
REFLECT ON SOMETHING THAT YOU UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF
AFTER YOU TOOK THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.
WRITING HELP[S TO PUT OUR IDEAS IN CONCRETE SO THAT
WE CAN ADD TO THEM OR BREAK THEM APART AND START
ANEW OR RENOVATE.
LEVEL I REPORT (Required for all first time work reports.
May also be used to satisfy the report requirement for any co-op assignment
term.)
i. Informational Abstract
I. Nature of the Work Setting
What are the functions, products or services of your employing organization?
What is the organizational structure of your employer?
relationship of your unit or department to the overall structure?
26
What is the
What are the objectives of your position? Why does it exist? How does your
position fit with other operations, both intra- and inter-departmental? Does
your position utilize your technical background?
II. Duties and Responsibilities (This section should comprise at least 50% of
your total report)
Provide a detailed account of your major activities to date, with an emphasis
on the specific technical functions of your position. Indicate any additional
responsibilities you anticipate before the completion of your co-op assignment.
Discuss your assignments and their relationship to your field of study. What
have you learned this term? What have you accomplished that will make you a
better engineer?
Have you and your supervisor discussed future assignments and their
relationship to your overall training? What types of work assignments would
be beneficial to your career development?
III. Relationship to Career Goals and College Study
In what ways have your career goals been reinforced or modified during your
co-op experience? Have you changed your plans for future coursework? Has
the experience enabled you to better focus on potential career options?
27
IV. Overall Evaluation
Has your employment experience met your expectations? In what ways has it
differed from your objectives? In what ways could your assignment be improved by
your employer? by you? Have your assignments provided a broad, developmental
experience? and/or Has your co-op assignment given you a progressive, in-depth
learning experience? Have you been satisfied with the level and nature of the
supervision you have received? What would you want your professors to know
about
your
assignment,
your
educational
enrichment,
your
technical
accomplishments and your overall development as an engineer?
LEVEL I REPORT
(Here is the same report requirements as the
above description but it is GIVEN IN A MORE STRUCTURED OUTLINE
APPROACH.)
I. Nature of the Work Setting
a. The functions, products, or services of your employing organization.
b. The organizational structure of your employer.
c. The relationship of your unit or department to the overall structure.
d. The objectives of your position. The utilization of your technical
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background in the position.
II. Duties and Responsibilities
a. A detailed account of your major activities to date (emphasis on the specific
technical functions of your position.)
b. Any additional responsibilities you anticipate before the completion of your
co-op assignment.
c.Your assignments and their relationship to your field of study.
d.Your accomplishments that will make you a better engineer.
III. Relationship to Career Goals and College Study
a. Ways in which your career goals been reinforced or modified.
b. Changes in your plans for future coursework.
c. Value of experience on potential career options.
IV. Overall Evaluation
a. Has your employment experience met your expectations?
b. In what ways has it differed from your objectives?
c. In what ways could your assignment be improved by your employer?
d. Could it be improved by you?
e. Have your assignments provided a broad, developmental experience?
f. Has your co-op assignment given you a progressive, in-depth learning
experience?
g.What would you want your professors to know about your assignment, your
educational enrichment, your technical accomplishments and your overall
29
development as an engineer?
IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!
The Informational ABSTRACT follows a format that appears as:
a. A review of what information is contained in the report. It should indicate
more than jut broad generalizations,i.e. I had a job at TRW.
b. The abstract allows you to prepare your reader for what is to follow.
c. If the report is weak in technical content, at least your reader will be
warned ahead of time. This may remove some preconceived notions about
the paper.
"The following report reflects the work performed during a co-operative engineering
experience at Dow Chemical Corporation in Midland, Michigan. Ample space is
devoted to the learning that took place during the four-month period spent at Dow.
Although an engineering experience should mainly focus on what has been achieved
in the area of one's major, the majority of the report deals with the experiences
encountered that focus on the industrial world in general and in specific the Dow
organization. Technical experiences were at a minimum during this co-op, but they
will be explained in their entirety."
Abstracting, and the variety of ways to present information to the reader is handled
later is this document. You will find that creating abstracts is a very good way to see
if you have presented all the information you wanted to the reader.
30
ANOTHER COURSE OF ACTION
Perhaps one of the ways that you might find an easier course of action for the report
is to construct an outline of the information needed. Whatever method you use to get
the information across is fine.
i. Informative Abstract
I. Describing the work setting
A. History of the employer
B. Present functions of the employer and its structure
C. Your unit in relation to the overall company/corporation
D. Your position in the department
1. Its needs/its importance/its relationship to the
Corporation
II. Stating your duties
A. The job description/ what were you supposed to do
B. Here is where you could detail one particular job that you
performed during the experience and construct it just like a formal report.
III. Relating career goals and college studies
A. What did you learn about the preparation that you are
receiving at the university?
IV. Evaluating the experience
A. Your expectations
1. How did you find the experience in both broad and in
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depth terms?
2. Were you satisfied with the experience?
B. Future Improvements to the program
1. What elements would you offer to change?
C. Summary of the experience in what you would like the
professors to know.
Formats
It is important to realize that there will be many situations in the real world
that require a variety of written forms of communication. These will include
the short notes to a superior or to a peer, brief hand-written reminders to do
some project, informal reports, memos that flow in and out of your workplace,
large formal reports that document months of work, and visual presentations
that require great preparation and little text.
As you experience the numerous jobs that you do, courses that you take, and
managers to whom you report; you will find one of the things that may
aggravate you is continual changing of formats. It will be necessary for you to
adapt quickly to a variety of ways of conveying information. The information
that you will be given here only scratches the surface when it comes to the
many ways that text may be presented. Always be ready to learn new
techniques of presenting information. Listen to the managers for whom you
work; adjust for their particular needs; and be flexible enough to adapt to
changing situations and formats.
A. MEMOS
Memos are written by every engineer in the field. They are most often designed
to be used within the writer's own company or organization. They may note the
existence of a problem, propose some course of action, describe a procedure, or
32
report the results of a test or an investigation.
They are sometimes referred to as informal writing, but this does not mean
sloppy, casual, or carelessly done. Memos must be carefully prepared,
thoughtfully written , and thoroughly proofread for errors.
Memos begin in a particular manner:
To:
Name, job title
department
name of Organization
From:
Name, job title
department
name of Organization
Subject:
Issues addressed in the memo (subject is commonly Re or RE)
Date:
Date
The following are omitted if there are none:
Dist:
Encl:
Ref:
Distribution list of other people receiving the memo
Other documents included with the memo
List of particularly important background documents
The format of the memo is also simple and contains the following information:
Foreword -- The statement of the problem or important issue
Summary -- The main results and other information that a reader needs to know
Discussion or Details -- The extra information needed by the technically
involved readers -- support for the claims in the Summary or extra details needed to
implement or fully understand the solution proposed.
E. E-MAIL
33
E-mail has become a necessary part of existence in every office around the
country. Messages gather in computer mailboxes at a phenomenal rate, and the
returns that we send take up more and more of our time. It is, therefore, vitally
important that we look closely at both what we receive and what we return to the
sender. E-mail cannot be construed as simply an easy way to answer some call for
information. It must be carefully read and the responses that we send must be as
thoroughly created as any formal document. The presentation that we make to the
outside world in the form of poor spelling habits, sloppy construction, and
unreadable text can do no positive good for our status and in many cases may
create a distinct negative impression. E-mail is a record of our text production.
Once we have sent the message it is out of our hands and we can do nothing to
change the content or its presentation. Here are a few` simple rules to follow:
1. Always read what you are sending. (Some people never do, and
it shows.)
2. Make an effort to use grammatical conventions - proper sentence
structure, subject/verb agreement, spelling, flow or ideas, etc.)
3. Proofread your copy. Did you say what you thought you said?
Are there gaps in your train of thought that will cause a reader to
fail to understand your message?
4. Have you thought about your response before you pushed the key
to send that response? Once it is gone, it is hard to explain glaring
mistakes in logic.
E-mail is a fantastic tool, but it carries with it some very strong responsibilities
and possibly damaging consequences. Never use it when a face-to-face dialog is
needed. Do not use it when a formal document is required. E-mail does not carry
the presentation status of a formal bound report. People will notice if you use a
paper bag to do the job of an ornately wrapped present. Remember that e-mail may
also not be as private as you think. It goes out over the phone lines, and these lines
can be accessed by others. Computers are also not invulnerable to entry by a host
of unwanted guests. Much as an unwanted person may read your letters sent
through the mail or listen to your calls on the phone, an number of people may be
34
checking through your e-mail. It is vital, therefore, hat you make every effort to
use the tool wisely and not let it embarrass you or cause you undue grief.
4. Co-op Writing Session Part III –Audience
and the flowing text
The following items reflect the way in which a piece of information can be used for a
variety of audiences and purposes.
Porphyria Bliek, a young lady, has been murdered by an individual named Herbert
Feenstra. Each of the accounts that follows reflects information being given to a select
audience. It is necessary to evaluate who is reading the material, why it is being written,
and what the reader expects from the reading. Each account focuses on the same event,
but the event is handled quite differently by each writer.
obvious lesions in the blood vessels of the
Account #1
Death occurred from the
neck.
effects of asphyxia, cerebral anemia, and
Cyanosis of the head was very
shock. The victim's hair was used for the
slight and there were no pronounced
constricting ligature. Local marks of the
hemorrhages in the gales of the scalp.
ligature were readily discernible: there
Very great compression was effected
was
slight
almost immediately, with compression of
ecchymosis in the skin. There were no
the arteries as well as of the veins, and
some
abrasion
and
a
35
the
superior
laryngeal
nerve
was
Washtenaw
County,
did
unlawfully,
apparently traumatized with the effect of
feloniously, with malice aforethought kill
throwing the victim into profound shock...
and
The
lungs
revealed
cyanosis,
congestion, over aeration, and subpleural
petechial hemorrhages...
slay
one
Porphyria
Bliek
by
strangulation.
Contrary to the form and the
Statutes of the State of Michigan, in such
cases made and provided, and against the
peace and dignity of same.
....District Attorney for the 21st
Judicial District of Michigan
Account #2
State of Michigan
Washtenaw County
Twenty-First Judicial District Court
The Grand Jurors of the State of
Michigan, duly impanelled and sworn, in
and for Washtenaw County in the name
and by the authority of the said State upon
their oath, find and present:
That One Hubert Feenstra late of
Washtenaw County, on the 23rd of
January in the year of Our Lord One
Thousand Nine Hundred and eighty-one,
with force and arms, in Washtenaw
County,
aforesaid,
and
within
the
jurisdiction of the Twenty-First Judicial
District Court of Michigan, for the
36
Account #3
Ms. Porphyria Bliek, 21, daughter
of Mr. and Mr/s. R.J. Bliek, of Chelsea,
was found strangled this morning in the
Whitmore Lake cottage owned by Agatha
Ford. Hubert Feenstra was apprehended
on the scene of the crime by Sheriff
Postill and deputies. Feenstra was found
holding the body in his arms, and
appeared to be in a stupor, his only reply
to repeated questioning being, "I killed
her because I loved her."
According to member of the Bliek
family, Feenstra had paid attentions to
Ms. Bliek for several years in 1979,
before she left Chelsea to enroll in
Radcliffe College. It was strenuously
denied, however, that Feenstra's regard
for Ms. Bliek was ever returned. Ms.
Bliek's engagement to Mr. R. Emerson
Chandler II was announced last month.
Mr. Chandler, a student of law at Harvard
University, could not be reached for a
statement. Mrs. Bliek was prostrated by
the news of her daughter's death.
The slain woman disappeared last
evening at approximately eleven o'clock
from a dinner party given at her parents'
home in honor of the approaching
wedding. The family became alarmed
when it was discovered that she was not
in her room.
The family instituted a search, and
during the course of their search knocked
at the cottage of Ms. Ford, who has
employed Feenstra as handyman over
recent years, at five in the morning.
Receiving no answer, they forced the door
and discovered Feenstra sitting with the
dead girl in his lap. She had apparently
been strangled. It appeared that, from the
condition of the body, death might have
occurred at about midnight.
Feenstra, who has been charged
with murder, could give no coherent
account of what happened.
Account #4
The dead girl, beautiful and
peaceful in death, her scarlet lips slightly
parted as though whispering a caress to
her lover, her blue eyes gentle and
unquestioning as a baby's, lay in the
murderer's arms like a child who has been
rocked to sleep. Her golden hair falling in
profusion about her shoulders all but
concealed the cruel welt of red about her
throat. The murderer, clutching his still
burden to him, like a mother holding an
infant, appeared dazed. As the police cam
in, he rose to meet them, still carrying his
precious burden in his arms. The officers
had almost to force him to relinquish her.
He could not answer questions -- could
merely clutch the closer to his breast all
that remained of the girl that he loved
37
better than life, and mutter, "I loved her, I
loved her," like a man in a dream.
A few hours later when I saw him
in the sordid surroundings of the 10th
Precinct Station House, so different from
the cozy cottage which had been the
abode of a tragic love, he was still dryeyed, though his face wore a ghastly
pallor. But when I tried to question him, I
became aware of the terrific strain under
which he suffered, and he showed all the
signs of a man on the verge of hysteria.
When I tried to draw from him the reason
for the pitiful tragedy, he could only
reply, his pale boyish face like a mask: "I
killed her, but God didn't say a word, a
word." At last he managed pitifully to
say: "I killed her so that she would be
mine alone for always!"
And this is the irony of fate! The
very greatness of his love made him
strangle her. Separated as they were by
wealth, social position, and all that
implies, it was only in death that they
could be united. Who are we to pass
judgment on such a love?
Account #5 (the actual poem)
"PORPHYRIA'S LOVER"
The rain set early in tonight,
The sullen wind was soon awake,
It tore the elm-tops down for spite,
And did its worst to vex the lake:
I listened with heart fit to break.
When glided in Porphyria; straight
She shut the cold out and the storm,
And kneeled and made the cheerless
grate
Blaze up, and all the cottage warm;
Which done, she rose, and from her
form
Withdrew the dripping cloak and shawl.
And laid her soiled gloves by,
untied
Her hat and let the damp hair fall,
And, last, she sat down by my side
And called me. When no voice
replied,
She put my arm about her waist,
And made her smooth white
shoulder
bare
And all her yellow hair displaced,
And, stooping, made my check lie
there,
And spread, o'er all, her yellow
hair,
Murmuring how she loved me--- she
Too weak, for all her heart's
endeavor,
To set its struggling passion free
From pride, and vainer ties
dissever,
And give herself to me forever.
But passion sometimes would prevail,
Nor could tonight's gay feast
restrain
A sudden thought of one so pale,
For love of her, and all in vain:
So, she was dome through wind
and rain.
Be sure I looked up at her eyes
Happy and proud; and last I knew
Prophyria worshipped me: surprise
Made my heart swell, and still it
grew
While I debated what to do.
That moment she was mine, mine, fair,
Perfectly pure and good: I found
A thing to do, and all her hair
In one long yellow string I wound
Three times her little throat around,
38
And strangled her. No pain felt she;
I am quite sure she felt no pain.
As a shut bud that holds a bee,
I warily opened her eyes: Again
Laughed the blue eyes without a
stain.
And I untightened next the tress
About her neck; her cheek once
more
Blushed bright beneath my burning kiss:
I propped her head up as before,
Only, this time my shoulder bore
Her head, which droops upon it still:
The smiling rosy little head,
So glad it has its utmost will,
That all its scorn at once is fled,
And I, its love, am gained instead!
Prophyria's love: She guessed not how
Her darling one wish would be
heard.
And thus we sit together now,
And all night long we have not
stirred,
And yet God has not said a word!
Audience
Each of the preceding texts utilizes the
same information. They manipulate the
reader so that particular feelings are
aroused or dampened. The autopsy
reflects a complete lack of emotion. The
legal document aims at making sure that
every loophole will be covered. The
harlequin romance attempts to paint a
romantic picture of a death such as this.
The newspaper account bases its wording
on the knowledge that the average reader
will read no more than the first paragraph.
With that in mind, all the information that
the reader may want is contained at the
very beginning of the article. The poem
utilizes meter and rhyme to move the
reader along the path to recognition of the
story.
Every piece of text that is created must
reflect a clear knowledge of the readers of
that text. We must pattern our information
around the language that the audience
uses, the information that they seek to
gain, the emotions that they have or have
not, and the inherent need to be
understood. We cannot create text they
clouds issues and does not serve to
inform. The technical text that we present
to our readers must be concise and
valuable to them.
As an example, think about a computer
help manual or a word processing
software document that you have tried to
decipher. Did the writer consider you or
anybody else when they sat down to write
the text? If you became angry as you read
the text, think about your audience. How
do you want them to feel?
39
As we look through the accounts of Porphyria Bliek, we see the number of ways
that the story of Porphyria can be conveyed. When viewing as piece of text it is
important to be able to answer the following question easily and with intelligence:
a. What group is it meant for?
b. How do you know?
c. What do you notice about the language?
d. What about the sentences?
e. Any other things you notice that would be unique for this piece
of writing?
As the audience becomes known you can pattern your response to it.
a. Intended audience - who are you writing to and how will this affect what
you say to them.
b.Their needs - information, detailed or not, clear and understandable.
c. Their level of competence - you must work at the level of the reader
d. Their understanding of the words - how they will interpret
e. Their ability to interpret - in how much detail will they go into changing
what you say to what they think it says.
UNDERSTANDING READERS
Readers do not just read -- they interpret
* They watch the clues you give them.
* They look at the structure that you create.
* Remember that we read from left to right.
** Context on left.
*** New important information on right.
40
> You must be aware of these locations.
This information applies especially to sentences where the reader expects to see
information that is being presented at the beginning of the sentence relate to
something that is already known.
Bob called to his dog. It stopped in its tracks. The reader knows that it refers to
the dog. The information at the end of the sentence usually refers to new information
given to the reader; here, for example, what was being called to and where did it
stop.
READER EXPECTATIONS
* EACH UNIT OF DISCOURSE MAKES A SINGLE POINT.
** Sentences stress new points at end of sentence.
THEREFORE:
Backward linking of old information appears
in the topic position (subject area).
The person, thing, or concept whose story it is
appears in the topic position (subject area).
The new emphasis worthy information appears in
the stress position (object area).
CONTEMPLATE
Purpose - you are trying to show your expertise - your demonstration of how
much and the quality of what you know.
Message - what you have to say about your co-op experience.
Organization - some form of structure needs to be presented - for both your
benefit and the other readers.
Communication - is vital if you are going to give the reader what they want
from your text.
The process of writing - your primary purpose is to collect as much
41
information
as you can in order to create the report.
Be ready to simply put down what you know and then go back and
add or remove information as you see fit.
Brainstorm ideas. Put down everything you know and then sift
through the information.
Write, write, write and then go at the text on the computer.
CONSTRUCTION
It is important to think back to earlier days when you learned all the components of
good text. These included sentence structure, paragraphing, and coherent writing.
The items that follow only touch the surface of all that information, but these items
are vital in creating text that flows for your readers.
TEN PRINCIPLES
FOR TECHNICAL WRITING
KEEP THE SENTENCES SHORT
PREFER THE SIMPLE TO THE COMPLEX
PREFER THE FAMILIAR WORD
VOID UNNECESSARY WORDS
PUT ACTION IN YOUR VERBS
USE TERMS THAT YOUR READERS CAN PICTURE
TIE IN WITH YOUR READERS' EXPERIENCE
MAKE FULL USE OF VARIETY
WRITE TO EXPRESS - NOT TO IMPRESS
Present your ideas in a manner that allow the reader to understand.
Complexity breeds confusion and time commitment
Outlandish things do not make a reader happy.
SENTENCE VARIETY
1) VARY THE LENGTH OF THE SENTENCES
2) VARY THE SENTENCE BEGINNINGS
3) VARY THE ARRANGEMENT OF INFORMATION
4) VARY THE KINDS OF SENTENCES THAT YOU USE
42
The structure of a report - remember some of the things that you have already been
asked to do or will be required to do in the future in engineering.
Tie into the co-op experience the elements of writing that you have seen in ATL or
in any other class that requires writing.
Try to remember what they told you in high school about paragraph construction and
sentences that meshed together to make a coherent and interesting piece of writing.
Think about the ways that authors that you read put sentences, paragraphs, and
chapters together to convey a message.
Give yourself a structure to follow.
If you have a structure then the reader will also have some guide to what you
are trying to get them to understand.
Some structure elements that help the communication of your information
Keep the ideas flowing through the text. When the reader sees the connections they
can follow your ideas.
Hydrocarbonate was in the last cylinder on the shipment. This canister,
earmarked for the nuclear testing facility, was not my idea of a great hauling job. I
knew that so many accidents had happened there that my fear of an eminent disaster
was founded in fact.
Keep your subjects and verbs as close as you can so that the reader knows
who and what is going on.
Stress positions are towards the end of the sentence.
Old information is at the beginning.
The old information is used to help the reader tie this info
to the previous sentences.
Give the reader some context within which to understand what
you are giving them.
WRITING WILL BE BETTER IF YOU:
43

FOLLOW A GRAMMATICAL SUBJECT AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE WITH ITS VERB.

PLACE IN STRESS POSITION (end of sentence) THE NEW
INFORMATION YOU WANT THE READER TO EMPHASIZE.

PLACE THE TOPIC,PERSON,CONCEPT THAT THE SENTENCE
IS ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SENTENCE.

LOCATE OLD INFORMATION IN THE TOPIC (subject)
POSITION FOR
LINKAGE BACKWARD AND CONTEXTUALIZATION FORWARD.

PROVIDE CONTEXT FOR YOUR READER BEFORE ASKING
THE
READER TO CONSIDER ANYTHING NEW.
PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
1) Use logical order of sentence arrangement
general to specific
developing from facts
2) Utilize a careful repetition of words
3) Use parallel structure
4) Use transitional words
since, moreover, however, in which
Present your ideas in a manner that allows the reader to understand. Complexity
breeds confusion and time commitment
Outlandish things do not make a reader happy.
Suggestions:
Use a format
Work from an outline
Edit,Edit,Edit again!
44
Do your weeding.
Use small words.
Edit illustrations.
LANGUAGE
Choosing your vocabulary
Take the following quiz and see how many of the items in the list you can
define in, say, ten minutes. If you can’t think of too many definitions, reflect on
how your audience feel s when the words you use do not reflect their own
vocabulary. Pick words that will clearly be understood by your readers.
Being Concise
The text that you create will also have to be clear and concise. You will need to
make an effort to use only the necessary words to convey your meaning. Look
at the following list and see if you can say the same thing in fewer words.
Jargon
Jargon is language that is used by a particular group of people. It is language that
is indicative of that group and may not be understandable by any other group or
individual. It is dangerous to use this type of language in groups that are
unfamiliar with it because the level of understanding will drop markedly.
The dude was rad, but expressed a certain proclivity to fernness or an inability
to be tough as nails. Tune into the vibes that catapulted from the waves and you
knew that he was bogue. Totally rad was not in his bailiwick, but neither was the
groovy way in which he decimated the crud from the blood. He was a homey that
could find an ace-in-the hole. Sometimes he got aerated and the Akky would get
45
ticked. Being all bent out of shape was his usual because then you would have to
amp him from the group. Some of the dogsbodies were anchor-faced and that made
it hard to adjust the chemistry of the atom-bombo. His ambish was notorious. He
was one to go the animal run with the best of the nerds. He was cool. His joint was
always the best. He could turn on the world. Wasn't he a gas.
(Keep in mind here the importance of technical terms. It is always important to
analyze the audience who will be using your text. It is nice to simply say "glitches"
when there are problems in a particular process, but a more proper technical term
would explain clearly what those "glitches" were. Jargon can create severe problems
when the readers do not understand what those jargon words mean. The definitions
may be close to being right, but this is not acceptable in the technical world.
Therefore, it is vital that you look at the competence of your readers, their interest in
the subject, and their need to know or use what information you are giving them. At
the point at which you understand them, then you can confidently create text that
they will both understand and accept as meant for them.
It is probably a good time to mention that we all belong to varying kinds of groups:
scientists who study only turnips, computer hackers, truck drivers, morticians,
students, etc. We move in and out of any number of exclusive human units. Within
those units, language becomes very specialized and common to all in the group.
Outside the group, the language is sometimes only gibberrish. In the group jargon
is fine, outside the group use language that communicates your message.)
JARGON II –
What do you think the meaning of this 60’s song is?
Puff the magic Dragon lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a
46
land called Honalea. Little Jacky Paper loved that rascal Puff and brought him
string and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. O'er the sea they'd sail Jacky perched
upon Puff's gigantic tail. Nobel kings and princess would bow when ere they came as
Puff roared out his name. Spoons and things give way to other toys. Dragons last
forever, but not so little boys.
TRANSITIONS
Look at both the pieces of text. The first contains a number of transitions that allow
the reader to move through the text with ease. Ideas flow from one to another and the
reader is not bothered with choppy statements that do not interact with one another.
The second lacks the smooth flow of ideas, sentences function alone by imparting
information that is not easily related to the previous sentences. In this way the reader
cannot get a smooth picture of what is to imparted by the text.
TRANSITIONS - Watch how the sentences reflect back upon each other.
From the green depths of the offshore Atlantic many paths lead back to the
coast. They are paths followed by fish; although unseen and intangible, they
are linked with the outflow of waters from the coastal rivers. For thousands
upon thousands of years the salmon have known and followed these threads
of fresh water that lead them back to the rivers, each returning to the
tributary in which it spent the first months or years of life. So,in the summer
and fall of 1953, the salmon of the river called Miramichi on the coast of New
Brunswick moved in from their feeding grounds in the far Atlantic and
ascended their native river. In the upper reaches of the Miramichi, in the
streams that gather together a network of shadowed brooks, the salmon
47
deposited their eggs that autumn in beds of gravel over which the stream
water flowed swift and cold. Such places, the watersheds of the great
coniferous forests of spruce and balsam, of hemlock and pine, provide the
kind of spawning grounds that salmon must have in order to survive.
NO TRANSITIONS
From the green depths of the offshore Atlantic many paths lead back to the
coast. Fish are linked with the outflow of waters from the coastal rivers. The
salmon have known and followed these threads of fresh water that lead them
back to the rivers for thousands upon thousands of years, each returning to
the tributary in which it spent the first months or years of life. In the summer
and fall of 1953, the salmon of the river called Miramichi on the coast of New
Brunswick moved in from their feeding grounds in the far Atlantic and
ascended their native river. In the streams that gather together a network of
shadowed brooks, the salmon deposited their eggs that autumn in beds of
gravel over which the stream water flowed swift and cold. The watersheds of
the great coniferous forests of spruce and balsam, of hemlock and pine,
provide the kind of spawning grounds that salmon must have in order to
survive.
48
REVISION
While we sometimes consider the words that we put down on paper as being the
most important elements within our text production, it is vital that we go one step
further and realize that the work that we do in revision are equally as important.
In actuality, the revision process is much more important because during that
activity the writer evaluates what is written and changes the text to match the
audience and the occasion.
SUGGESTIONS
* USE A FORMAT
* WORK FROM AN OUTLINE
* EDIT, WAIT, EDIT AGAIN
* DO YOUR WEEDING
* USE SMALL WORDS
* EDIT ILLUSTRATIONS
Revision - take the writing step by step when you put it together. Don't jump steps
let it move easily from content through style changes.
Word chopping is always a good pastime to use with your writing. It gives you the
insight into removing text that is unnecessary for the reader's clear understanding
of the text.
APPROACHING THE TEXT
1. FIRST REVISION Weigh only the content
2. SECOND REVISION Increase the clarity
3. THIRD REVISION Meet the standards of correctness
4. FOURTH REVISION Work on the brevity
5. FIFTH REVISION Improve the style
Close Exercise
49
The cloze exercise is something that you can easily do with your own writing to see
if it can be understood. Cloze shows that writing is connected enough to allow the
reader to fill in the blanks. The exercise that follows leaves blanks in the text.
When you fill them in you show that the author has created something that can be
understood by the reader. It does not always work perfectly, but your readers
should be able to do this with your written text.
WHEN A PROBLEM IS ENCOUNTERED WITH A FINISHED MOLDED
PLASTIC PART THAT WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY PRESENT, THE CAUSE OF
THE_1____ CAN BE USUALLY TRACED_2____ EITHER A CHANGE IN
PROCESS OR IN THE_3_____ . IF THE RAW MATERIAL_4_____ CHECKED
AND APPROVED PRIOR__5_______ USE, IT'S NORMAL TO_6_____ THAT
THE PROCESSING HAS__7_____ IN THE EVENT OF A_8_____ .
UNFORTUNATELY, INCOMING MATERIAL TESTS 9______CONTROLS
ARE NOT ALWAYS__10____ TO PREDICT PROCESSING PROBLEMS.
11______OFTEN BECAUSE OF THE_12_____ OF TIME AND LACK_13____
MANPOWER, LITTLE OR NO_14_____ IS PERFORMED ON
INCOMING_15_____ AND AS A RESULT__16_____ DIFFICULTIES ARE
ENCOUNTERED IN_17____ MOLDED PRODUCT IT IS_18______ IF NOT
IMPOSSIBLE TO_19______ IF THE PROBLEM LIES_20______ THE
PROCESS OR WITH__21_____ MATERIAL.
AS AN EXAMPLE OF FRICTION, TAKE A BOOK, LAY 1____ON THE
TABLE, AND 2____PUSH THE BOOK WITH 3____HAND. NOTICE
THE RESISTANCE,4_____MAKES THE BOOK DIFFICULT 5___SLIDE.
NOW PLACE THREE 6__PENCILS BETWEEN THE BOOK_7__THE
TABLE TOP. PUSH 8___BOOK AND NOTICE HOW_9___IT MOVES.
FRICTION HAS 10__ GREATLY REDUCED. OIL MOLECULES 11__ TO
THE PENCILS BY 12___A COATING BETWEEN TWO 13__
SURFACES. WITH OIL, THE 14____SURFACES LITERALLY ROLL
50
ALONG_15___ THE OIL MOLECULES AND_16____ IS GREATLY
REDUCED, BESIDES_17_____ FRICTION AND THE WEAR_18___
HEAT IT CAUSES, THE_19____ OIL SERVES SEVERAL
OTHER_20____ FUNCTIONS.
These are the words that the author intended.
1. problem
2. to
3. material
4. is
5. to
6. assume
7. changed
8. problem
9. and
10. adequate
11. quite
12. pressures
13. of
14. testing
15. materials
16. when
17. the
18. difficult
19. determine
20. with
it
then
your
friction
to
round
and
the
easily
been
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21. the
5. An Example Text
The following text shows the writer's desire to explain what has gone on during a summer co-op
at Woods Hole Oceanographic in Woods Hole, Maryland. Listen to how the movement of the
text makes you want to read what the writer is telling you. Keep in mind the items that need to be
addressed in the report. (See pages 17-18.)
NATURE OF THE WORK SETTING-Background:
The Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution is a private, nonprofit research facility
dedicated to the study of all aspects of marine science and to the education of marine scientists.
It is the largest independent oceanographic research institution in the nation. Shore-based
laboratories are located in the village of Woods Hole, Massachusetts and on the 200-acre
Quissett Campus one and one-half miles away.
The Institution was founded in 1930 following a National Academy of Sciences
recommendation that a major facility capable of leading American oceanographic research be
established on the U.S. east coast. WHOI opened in 1931 with the late biologist Henry Bryant
Bigelow as Director. A three million dollar grant from the Rockefeller Foundation supported
construction of a three-story laboratory, the 142-foot ketch Atlantis, the 40-foot coastal vessel
Asterias, and 10 years of largely seasonal operations. World War II brought year-round activity
and federal funding as research focused on such areas as underwater explosives, ship fouling, and
submarine detection.
The Institution is organized into five scientific departments: Applied Ocean Physics and
Engineering (APOGEE), Biology, Chemistry, Geology and Geophysics, and Physical
Oceanography. A great deal of cross-disciplinary work is conducted within the departments and
also under the auspices of the Center for Marine Exploration, the Coastal Research Center, and
the Marine Policy Center where social scientists work on legal and policy problems associated
with human use of the oceans.
More than 350 research projects are underway at the Institution at any given time. The
broad range of questions considered includes such diverse topics as geological activity deep
within the earth, plant and animal populations and their interactions in the oceans, coastal
erosion, ocean circulation, pollution control, and the global climate change.
The Institution’s research fleet includes the 279-foot Knorr, 210-foot Atlantis II, 177-foot
Oceanus, 65-foot Eagle Mar, 46-foot coastal vessel Asterias, the three-person submersible Alvin
capable of diving to 13,000 feet, several small boats, and remotely operated deep submergence
vehicles such as Argo and Medea/Jason.
Although research is the Institution’s primary mission, education plays a major role in the
activities here. In 1968, a formal graduate degree program was established, enabling the award
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degrees on its own or through a joint program with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Some 295 degrees have been awarded since then, with 125 students presently enrolled in the
program. Postdoctoral Fellow, Summer Student Fellow, and other education programs are also
offered.
The Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution has an annual operating budget of
approximately $80 million, and its staff and students umber about 1,000. Some two-thirds of the
employees work in the scientific departments; the remainder are employed as research vessel
crews and in various support services. About 74 percent of the operating budget comes from
federal contracts and grants, and the remaining 26 percent is provided by endowment income,
investment earnings, fees, rental income, subcontracts, work for private entities, government
income comes from the National Science Foundation and a third from the U.S. Navy. Other
resources of federal income include the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the
United States Geological Survey, the Department of energy, and the National Institutes of Health
-Courtesy of WHOI.Deep Submergence Laboratory:
The AOP&E Department contains several independent but cooperative labs comprising
its structure. The Deep Submergence Lab (DSL), is one of those labs in which I am working.
The DSL, like all labs at WHOI, is under the direct control of the scientists who are able to
secure funding for it. Therefore, only highly dedicated, talented people survive in this
competitive environment. The DSL is unique because its abundant productivity and success not
only provides essential funding, but some of the scientists are able to support a large staff ass
well.
The support staff here is quite diverse. There are technicians, graduate students,
postdoctoral investigators, research engineers, and industry consultants. It is then up to the
scientists to guide and coordinate this effort, as well as promote their own livelihood. It is this
broad, well rounded spectrum of education and experience which allows the DSL to thrive.
DSL’s triumph has been the production and operation of unmanned underwater vehicles
(AUVs). The tethered remotely operated vehicle (ROV) Jason, is one example of DSL’s many
resources. It is capable of full ocean depth (6000 meters), real-time control and data collection.
It can be the host to several different sonars, cameras, video gear, and dexterous appendages,
depending on the nature of the mission. Dives are directed via a portable control room, where
crew and staff monitor and communicate with the vessel, much like a small version of NASA
control. The room is actually two semi-trailers, which are joined after being loaded on deck of
the ship. It is Jason and the other vehicles that provide the platform for the marine science
community to probe into previously unattainable places.
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIESAs a DSL employee, I have participated in and contributed to the research being
conducted in the DSL. My focus revolved around the design and development of unmanned
underwater vehicles (AUVs). This includes several aspects of hardware and software
engineering for sonar sensing, digital signal and image processing, robotic motor control, and 3D visualization of subsea data.
I acquired three fairly defined tasks when I arrived. In addition to my own tasks, I also
helped out in other projects when deadlines approached. The bonus of my 9-month stay is that I
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will participate in the production of a new vehicle, the Shallow Water Acoustic Mapper Platform
(SWAMP). It is this vehicle that will utilize and implement the projects I’ve been working on.
In addition, the projects will also be introduced to the other vehicles because they are all
designed to be compatible with each other. The difference between SWAMP and the other
vehicles is mainly its operating territory. Shallow water mapping requires much of the same
equipment, but the systems need to be tailored to the temperature, depth, and salinity of the
water. It is these characteristics that dictate which ensemble of sonar and video gear is
acceptable. I will try to focus on the three original tasks and give insight as to how they were
solved.
I. Forward Scan Sonar/Motor Control
Objective:
I need to provide icon driven control of a scanning, forward looking 300-kHz multi-beam,
bathymetric sonar system. The full ocean depth, motor/sonar scanning head needs accurate and
reliable, continuous control. It’s primary function is to sweep and detect both obstacles and
terrain that need to be avoided.
Procedure:
A self-contained 6000 meter transducer was designed by the Applied Physics Lab (APL)
at the University of Washington for DSL. Combined with a motor and controller, it will be
possible to sweep out and detect obstacles within the vehicle’s path. Fast, incremental stepping
motion, which is variable or programmable, will allow the 4-pencil-beam sonar head to sweep
predetermined sectors.
An Elmo Motion Control Digital Amplifier was chosen to drive the motor/transducer
assembly. The amplifier comes with an RS-232 interface for live controlling and downloading
programs. It also works with the MFM brushless DC servo motor resolver to give feedback
regarding the position of the motor. This motor position feedback will be essential for
calibrating and determining the window of sonar coverage. Previously, motors with brushes
were used, but deep ocean pressure changed the viscosity of the hydraulic oil in the pressure
bladder. This viscosity change allowed the brushes to hydroplane on the armature, and arcing
would occur across the windings. Arcing would leave carbon pellets and thus disable the motor.
Optical encoding was also tried; but, again, packaging for full ocean depth limited the
positioning of the sensors.
The APL sonar array has four equally spaced, 1-degree pencil beams separated by
approximately 4 degrees of beam spacing. The motor driven scanner will then step through a
combination of fine and coarse increments, covering a range of 120 degrees (see Figure 1). Two
fixed transducer rows, separated vertically, will produce the split-beam signal for the generation
of bathymetric data (see Figure 2). The multiple beam design allows faster scanning rates and
minimizes beam irregularity at extreme steering angles. The split-beam design is unique and
offers a bathymetric capability unavailable in existing search sonars.
To scan a sector q, the scanning assembly must first position the array through a series of
small steps, each equal to the size of an individual beam width (or even smaller if some overlap
is desired), with the number of fine steps, n, given by n=b/a. After the series of small steps is
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completed, the array will have scanned a sector of size f, where f=N(a+b). To scan the complete
sector q the array must then be positioned through a large step of angle f-b and then continue to
scan as described. The number of large steps required is given by m=q/f. In both cases, n and m
are taken to are taken to be appropriate integers. This method requires that the angle q will
always be a multiple of f.
The time required to scan a sector q as described is dependent on the time required to
position the array and the time the array must wait for an echo return. The positioning time is
dependent on the acceleration of the scanning assembly, and the delay time is dependent on the
range of the sector being scanned. The array geometry will also affect the time required but is
assumed to be fixed. They delay time is given by
tr=2  Range /V5
The array must pause at each step so that the total delay time to scan a sector is
(qtr)/N  a)
The positioning time is dependent the time required to move a small step which is given by
ta = 2  (a/a)1/2
(where a is angular acceleration), and the time required to position through the angle f-b
tq-b = 2  ((f-b)/a)1/2
In both cases, constant acceleration and deceleration is assumed when positioning the array. The
number of times the coarse step must be made to scan q is m-1 or (q-f)/f, and the number of fine
steps is m  n or (qb)/(fa). The total time is given by
tTotal = (qtr)/(Na) + (q-f)/ftqb + (fb)/(fa)ta
From here, tTotal is minimized by an array geometry where the beam spacing is such that f=q.
The only other terms to minimize the time or the range of the sector , which will be determined
by external parameters, and the acceleration, which is determined by the motor selection.
Assuming an array geometry of a=1, b=3, N=4, then f=16. To scan a sector of 240 the
time required to scan at a range of 50 meters with V5 = 1500m/s is given by
t=(4+190.96/a1/2) seconds
A reasonable time to scan this sector would be 15 seconds so that a=302/s2 or approximately 1
rev/s2.
From here, the design constraints were imposed on the Elmo Controller with a software
interface. It involves using the on-board, two character ascii, embedded software that Elmo
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provides. Acceleration, necessary delays, and other operating constraints can be set directly into
the EEPROM on the digital logic board. After the low level control is established, a higher level
graphical interface is needed to alter sweeping rates and patterns. This interface on Bligh will
save time and money when out at sea, and allow for minor revisions to become implemented if
necessary. Bligh is a VME based 2 processor UNIX system, running 2 separate operating
systems which communicate to each other. Standard UNIX OS for the user interface, and
VxWorks Real Time OS for sonar data collection, processing and the graphical interface.
VxWorks is unlike standard UNIX, it is designed to look for interrupts, and reduce scheduled
latency associated with multi-tasking environments. Bligh is the host machine for control of all
sensors and sonar packages on all dives. In the future some of the control will become embedded
into the vehicles themselves (see project III description).
II. CHIRP Soar Package:
Objective:
I need to develop a hardware/software solution to maximize sonar data processing with
the CHIRP sonar package. Sonar data from subsea is sent top-side for processing via a fiberoptic taxi. This data stream then needs to be digitally filtered to remove unwanted format
generated bits from the raw sonar data.
Procedure:
In their search for cutting edge remote sensing equipment, DSL has attempted to develop
a new soar system to incorporate into its program. In conjunction with two commercial contacts,
Acoustic Marine Systems (AMS) and Precision Signal Inc. (PSI), DSL is trying to verify the
benefits of a multi-frequency sonar package. The CHIRP system is designed to accomplish
bottom profiling by using frequencies to overcome the consequences associated with existing
soar packages concerning range vs. Resolution. For high frequency sonar designs, greater
resolution is achieved but can only be had at short range. Conversely, a lower frequency design
offers less resolution but is capable of a greater swath (sonar coverage foot print). There are
several reasons for this phenomenon dealing with salinity, depth, temperature, attenuation, and
dispersion, but they are not within the scope of this paper.
The sonar data generated by the CHIRP transducer is sent up to the ship for real-time
processing. The signals are sent into a Crystal Semiconductor 16-bit, Stereo analog to digital
converter and then sent digitally up a fiber-optic taxi. The Crystal circuit utilizes sound industry
storage formats for digitizing sound. Unfortunately, in the process it adds post- identifier bits
into the data stream. These bits need to be separated from the valid data in order to maximize the
processing efficiency of the dedicated Digital Signal Processor. Both software and hardware
solutions were considered, but it was eventually solved with a small circuit.
The Crystal semiconductor top side interface provides three outputs with which to work,
the serial clock (SCK), the serial data (SDATA), and the frame synchronizer (FSYNC). A clock
suppression circuit alters the FSYNC line, which designates the left channel form the right
channel. It is reduced from 32 bits per channel to 16 bits, removing the unwanted format bits.
Next, timing and set/reset control were implemented. The arriving data is loaded by the SCK
only when triggered by the rising edge of the FSYNC line. Therefore, I needed to set up a circuit
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that flags a low to high transition on FSYNC. Once a true rising edge is detected, I can let the
circuit filter out the format portion of the sonar data. But it is important that filtering occur only
when a new frame of data has arrived, otherwise valuable sonar data is corrupted.
In an effort to simplify circuitry and learn about Programmable Logic Devices (PLD), I
convinced an industry consultant to help transform my circuit onto a PLD. DSL currently does
not utilize PLDS’s; but Varnum Ocean Services supplied the software, and the Advanced
Engineering Lab provided a PLD chip programmer. The circuit was revised several times to
accommodate the peculiarities of the compiler. The manuals were aware of all the parts my
circuit was designed with, but the compiler would only generate certain components. In many
cases it was as simple as using D-Flip Flops, instead J-K. But all the re-routing and wiring
necessary to work around the compiler, made me question the validity of the entire process.
The Ariel DSP32-C processor can accept the PLD circuit output and begin processing
the sonar data. PSI’s software engineering staff has promised the necessary software to separate
the Stereo data and store it simultaneously with telemetry information. The attitude pitch, and
roll of the platform are needed to validate and correct the gathered data. Without error correction
and system modelling, accurate mapping would be impossible.
In addition, more interface software will be required to initiate control of the CHIRP
package. The amount and complexity is not currently known at this time. It is uncertain as to
what routines will be embedded in hardware and what will be handled by software. Currently
the sonar transducer is with AMS , in Redmond, Washington, and the circuitry, DSP, and
software is here in Massachusetts. This parallel development scheme could be advantageous if
coordination and communication continue, but disastrous if we can’t work together. It has been
proposed that Woods Hole dock-side testing will begin in early June. But until then, the missing
components of the final design must be simulated with the intent of getting a majority of the task
accomplished.
III. PC/104 Sensor/Sonar Control
Objective:
I need to implement software solutions for controlling sensors and sonar control for
subsea vehicles. The control of sonar, sensor, and telemetry gear will be accessible from top-side
computers, but direct control will now be handled by small embedded systems. This will
minimize overhead associated with top-side real time control.
Procedure:
In order to have full ocean depth capability, all components and parts must be housed in
special packages. For physical reasons, spherical or cylindrical shapes are a common choice for
subsea containers that will be exposed to enormous pressures at 6000 meters. The vehicles have
6-inch diameter cylinders, made of stainless steel or titanium mounted to the vehicle frame for
storage. In addition, an oil-filled bladder with connections to all housings actively compensates
for the external pressure exerted by the water column. The oil is non-conductive. But as
mentioned previously, it creates implications that need to be addressed. All custom circuitry and
sensors are built on special cards, which are specifically designed to fit in the tubes.
In recent years, a new standard was proposed to IEEE for a smaller form factor for
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embedded systems. The PC/104 form factor, as it is called, limits the physical dimensions to
3.6x3.8x.6 inches. These shrunken PCs have a reduced power requirement and operate on 5-volt
DC supply. The PC/104 bus is designed so other cards and components stack like pancakes,
minimizing the system size. This will allow DSL to embed the controls subsea and reduce the
band-width overhead associated with communicating all sensor and sonar controls over the fiberoptic tether.
Most of the sensors and telemetry are RS-232/422 controlled. This presents a problem
because each devise then needs a communications port on the PC. Several companies make addon cards to increase the number of serial ports, but few are producing cards for the PC/104 form .
factor. One company, Sea level Comm and I/O, makes a card that increases the number of serial
ports to share interrupts of the CPU. That is a very intensive job because the UARTs that Sea
level uses are dumb, meaning that they don’t have any buffering capabilities. Every time
information is transferred, the CPU is interrupted. Previously, a product by Stargate was used
because it offered smart control of up to 8 serial ports. Unfortunately, Stargate hasn’t marketed
the PC/104 version but was interested in learning more about the form factor.
A development system was set up with the PC/104 equipment. An ethernet card was
installed, and Sun Microsystems’ PC-NFS was used to allow software development on one of the
UNIX platform machines. PC-NFS allows a transparent link to a network file system, removing
the need to have a PC hard drive. Once everything is compiled, the source code will be stored
on a PC-MCIA flash disk. This will be a bootable device, so upon activating system power up, it
will execute the designated control scheme.
In order to verify that these PC/104 CPU’s were sharing interrupts and correctly servicing
all eight communications ports, special testing had to be designed. Operational limits and
bandwidth saturation needed to be identified. The real-time UNIX box Bligh was again
recruited, because it has six serial ports driven from the VxWorks OS. The reduced latency of
the VxWorks OS, will allow accurate time critical handling of data. Software was written to read
and write to and from the ports, with user definable frequencies and data. Another feature
implemented was the ability to time stamp the data as it enters or leaves. This would give us a
benchmark to transfer to other non-real-time UNIX systems to see the effects and limits of other
multi-tasking systems. A valuable software tool that can be used for various applications and
diagnostic work. In addition, sensors and system data streams can be simulated on the bench
before mounting.
The enormous task of incorporating and synthesizing flight control and data collection
into the PC/104 CPU’s is next. Functionally, versatility and reliability were all major design
issues. If successful, it will lead the way to smart and efficient autonomous vehicle control.
These powerful, inexpensive, low-power, off the shelf computers will find their way into
millions of embedded applications.
Due to the length of paper desired, it was nearly impossible to orate every step that was
taken during the term. Many tasks and procedures were intentionally left out. My engineering
log book contains the unabridged version of my term at WHOI. An enormous amount of reading
and investigation was required to get even the smallest task accomplished. A large learning
curve accompanied every new task that I approached.
As summer approaches, more data collection and post-processing will be finished.
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Several coastal cruises will provide thousands of giga-bytes of raw data to be both processed and
turned into 3-D representations. Two Silicon Graphics workstations will display and handle
most of the image processing. This 3-D format of the sonar data is very important. It allows
people of all backgrounds, to appreciate the qualitative nature of the different sonar systems. The
data content hasn’t changed, but now an untrained person can appreciate the mapping or terrain,
much like a short video.
RELATIONSHIP TO CAREER GOALS AND COLLEGE STUDYOcean Engineering and Oceanography have given me another alternative to Michigan’s
Automotive Dynasty. With the volume and intensity of research that is accomplished here each
year, there are many engineering problems to be solved. In addition, I get the satisfaction of
knowing that my work is contributing to a humane and scientific agenda.
WHOI has also instilled in me the desire to further my education. It was something I’ve
been considering, but my experience here has definitely influenced me. The course work I will
pursue is still uncertain, but the application of it might very well be with unmanned underwater
vehicles.
OVERALL EVALUATIONWoods Hole Oceanographic Institution is a world class operation. I found myself
surrounded by a diverse and talented group of people. Not only are my coworkers
knowledgeable in their respective fields, but many are prominent in other fields as well. It was
hard when I first arrived to distinguish people and associate them with their education. In
particular, my supervisor spends most of his time producing code for doing image processing;
but on several occasions I’ve seen him solve electrical and mechanical problems, with a
background in Ocean Science.
I have gained an enormous amount of respect for WHOI and DSL. Not only for the work
they do, but also for the way they do it. Most people are constantly combating obsolescence just
by the nature of their job description. I’m both proud and grateful for the opportunity to be a
part of this team. I will remember this time in my life for many years to come.
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