1
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS
ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social
Science Curriculum Framework (2003)
“What should good student writing at this
grade level look like?”
The answer lies in the writing itself.
The Writing Standards in Action Project
uses high quality student writing samples to
illustrate what performance to grade level
standards looks like—in action.
Writing Standards in Action
Grade 7
Social Studies
Inform/Explain
(An Imaginary Journal)
Egyptological Excavation
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
2
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
Background Information
Writing Sample Title:
Egyptological Excavation
Text Type and Purpose:
Inform / Explain
Grade level/Content area:
Grade 7 Social Studies
Type of Assignment:
A journal that chronicles an
imaginary archaeological
excavation (several sample entries
included here)
Standards Addressed:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for ELA
and Literacy (2011)
(W.7.3), (WHST.6-8.2), (WHST.6-8.4), (WHST.6-8.8),
(L.7.1), (L.7.2), (L.7.3)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (2003)
(HSS.7.15), (HSS.7.16)
See descriptions of these standards in the right column of the
next page.
Highlights:
This sample of student work exceeds grade level standards.
It demonstrates the following attributes of effective writing.
The sample:
 Maintains a strong unifying central idea
 Exhibits logical organization within and among journal
entries
 Emulates the voice and professional tone of an enthusiastic
archeologist
 Incorporates relevant information from research sources
 Includes non-formulaic transitions among paragraphs
 Displays sophisticated vocabulary, word choice, and word
combination
 Uses domain-specific vocabulary effectively
 Includes a variety of sentence structures
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
The student writing sample that follows
includes standards-based commentary.
The commentary in this column describes
how the writing meets the standards in the
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for
English Language Arts and Literacy (2011)
and other content frameworks when
applicable.
Understanding the
Standards-Based Commentary
1. Grade-specific standards addressed
are:
 Listed in the column to the right of
student work by strand, grade, and
number (or number and letter, where
applicable)
 Marked by a letter code (in
parenthesis), also in the column to the
right of the student work
EXAMPLE:
(A)
2. The letter codes with a letter-coded
arrow beneath each standard in the
right column:
 Are of the same letter code as the letter
in parenthesis that marks the standard
being addressed
 Mark standards-based commentary
related to the standard being
addressed
 Appear in alphabetical order
EXAMPLE:
A1>
3. Corresponding letter coded arrows
within the text:
 Set off sections of student work to
which commentary applies
 Do not necessarily appear in
alphabetical order—but where evidence
of a particular standard exists
EXAMPLE: (begin>) section (<end)
3
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
Instructional Practices:
Preparation for this project included:
 Introduction to Egyptian civilization
 Reading assignments to provide background information
 Project packet to guide students through creation of the
project
 Assistance with time management
 Provision of extra resources, e.g., books, reliable web sites
 Examination of sample projects completed by students in
previous classes
Assignment Description:
Journal entries shown here are selections from a more extensive
journal. Chronicling the excavation of an archaeological site, the
journal is intended to be a first-hand account of an imaginary
archaeologist’s experiences in the field. The journal is part of a
larger project to assess students’ knowledge of ancient Egyptian
culture while incorporating their understanding of the basics of
archaeology. The larger project also includes a newspaper article
and fashioning of two “authentic” ancient Egyptian artifacts.
Intended Audience:
Family members, friends, neighbors, and classmates
Time:
1 month or more–students worked on other assignments as well
during this time
Writing Process:
Pre-writing; organizing; drafting; revising; self-editing
Materials:
Writing Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 2 (W.7.3)
Write narratives to develop real or imagined
experiences or events using effective
technique, relevant descriptive details, and
well-structured event sequences.
EXAMPLE: (A) (B) (C) (D)
Writing Standards - History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects: Grades 6-8, Standard 2
(WHST.6-8.2)
Write informative/explanatory texts,
including the narration of historical events,
scientific procedures/experiments, or
technical processes.
EXAMPLES: (A) (E) (J)
Writing Standards - History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects: Grades 6-8, Standard 4
(WHST.6-8.4)
Produce clear and coherent writing in which
the development, organization, and style are
appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
EXAMPLES: (F)
Writing Standards - History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects: Grades 6-8, Standard 8
(WHST.6-8.8)
Gather relevant information from multiple
print and digital sources, using search terms
effectively; assess the credibility and
accuracy of each source; and quote or
paraphrase the data and conclusions of
others while avoiding plagiarism and
following a standard format for citation.
EXAMPLES: (G)
Unknown
Please note:
The samples may contain inaccuracies in wording and content or
shortcomings in the use of standard English conventions.
STANDARDS ADDRESSED LIST,
CONTINUED
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
4
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
END OF BACKGROUND
Language Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 1 (L.7.1)
Demonstrate command of the conventions
of standard English grammar and usage
when writing or speaking.
EXAMPLES: (H)
Language Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 2 (L.7.2)
Demonstrate the command and conventions
of standard written English capitalization,
punctuation, and spelling when writing.
EXAMPLE: (I)
Language Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 3 (L.7.3)
Use knowledge of language and its
conventions when writing, speaking,
reading, or listening.
EXAMPLE: (C)
History and Social Science Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 15
Describe the polytheistic religion of ancient
Egypt with respect to beliefs about death,
the afterlife, mummification, and the roles of
different deities.
EXAMPLE: (K)
History and Social Science Standards:
Grade 7, Standard 16
Summarize important achievements of
Egyptian civilization.
EXAMPLE: (K)
END OF STANDARDS ADDRESSED LIST
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
5
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
Grade 7—Inform / Explain
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Understanding the Standards-Based
Commentary
In this sample…
The six entries selected from the larger journal effectively
combine narrative and informational writing to offer an
engaging, logically organized first person account of an
Egyptian archaeological dig. The writer skillfully adopts the
enthusiastic and authoritative voice of a young archaeologist,
while clearly relating, in domain-specific language, factual and
conceptual aspects of a lengthy, complicated archaeological
project. In the course of the story of the dig, the journal
entries vividly describe the archaeologist’s emotional
attachment to the dig and its setting while also reflecting a
solid understanding of the field of archaeology and many
aspects of the civilization of ancient Egypt.
The student writing sample that begins on
this page includes in this column
standards-based commentary describing
how the writing meets the standards in the
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework for
English Language Arts and other content
frameworks, when applicable. Where they
apply, sub-standards marked by letters
are included.
Evidence for the commentary is noted in
the text of the student writing using paired
letter-coded arrows and colored
highlighting.
For example:
A1> Marks the beginning and <A1 marks
the end of the relevant section, which is
also highlighted. Please note that these
labeled items in the text do not necessarily
appear in alphabetical order.
----------------------------------------------------
Egyptological Excavation
Journal Entry #1
First Day
H>A4>A2>
J>
My name is Liam Bailey. <A2 I am an
Egyptologist <A4 <J and have been fascinated with the
civilization from an early age. I made a hobby into a
profession in 2018 when I graduated from Harvard University.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Writing. Grade 7, Standard 3 AND
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 2:
(A) W.7.3.a AND WHST.6-8.2.a
W.7.3.a
Engage and orient the reader by
establishing a context and point of view
and introducing a narrator and/or
characters; organize an event sequence
that unfolds naturally and logically.
WHST.6-8.2.a
Introduce a topic clearly, previewing what
is to follow; organize ideas, concepts, and
information into broader categories as
appropriate to achieving purpose;
including formatting (e.g., headings),
graphics (e.g., charts, tables), and
multimedia when useful to aiding
comprehension.
6
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
I have participated in several digs, but I’m still waiting for my
big archaeological find. A4> A3>Today is the first day of my
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
two week archaeological dig<A4 in A4>the Valley of the Kings.
Writing. Grade 7, Standard 3 AND
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 2:
(continued)
<A3<A4 <H
I am accompanied by seven team members
including A4>Sir Marcus Van Buren, an English
Egyptologist<A4 who is one of the greatest in this field of all
time. A3>I hope that with our team’s skills and a little luck, we
can make this one great dig. <A3
A1> Examples: 1, 2
Journal Entry #1: The writer establishes
a context and engages the reader’s
curiosity about the mysteries yet to be
discovered in Egypt (I have chosen to dig
here for I feel that this place still has many
mysteries left in it and I hope that we will
discover something that will change what
we know about ancient Egypt forever.).
A2> Examples: 1
I will be digging at the Valley of the Kings in Egypt.
G1>
J>
Egyptian rulers and nobles were buried here from the
16th to 11th century B.C.E. <G1<J
A1>
I have chosen to dig
here for I feel that this place still has mysteries left in it. <A1
Also it is one of the few places in ancient Egypt that
archaeologists and Egyptologists continue to have success
with their expeditions.
C>
Today, when we arrived at the site, K>I was astounded
by the sight of it, tattered with graves. <C It was like going
back in time to see all of these tombs, each holding answers to
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #1: The writer introduces
the narrator (My name is Liam Bailey.).
A3> Examples: 1, 2
Journal Entry #1: The writer introduces
the topic (Today is the first day in my two
week archaeological dig in the Valley of
the Kings) and suggests what will follow (I
hope that with our team’s skills and a little
luck, we can make this one great dig.).
A4> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Journal Entry #1: The writer introduces
three elements important to the journal:
the nature of the project (Today is the first
day in my two week archaeological dig);
the setting (the Valley of the Kings); and
some significant participants, along with
their specific archaeological functions (My
name is Liam Bailey. I am an
Egyptologist; Sir Marcus Van Buren, an
English Egyptologist; my surveyor Tom
Malone; and Batman Jones, our
geologist).
7
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
the mysteries of ancient Egypt. <K I couldn’t wait to begin my
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
digging. When I got to the site, I decided to take a quick
sketch for later reference. The spot where I would be digging
Writing. Grade 7, Standard 3:
has never been excavated before. G1>It is not far from the
(B)
W.7.3.b
tomb of king tut, so we will be digging in a place that has
Use narrative techniques, such as
dialogue, pacing, and description, to
develop experiences, events, and/or
characters.
brought results before. <G1 B1>There is a little rock and hard
ground at the site, so the pick axes we brought will be needed
if we hope to find anything underground. <B1 Tomorrow the
first thing we will do is mark the site and A4>my surveyor,
Tom Malone, <A4 will make a more detailed drawing and
decide where will be best spot to dig. A4> Batman Jones, our
geologist, <A4 will also take a good long look at the site. We
need to be completely sure that where we begin to dig is the
B1> Examples: 1
Journal Entry #1: The writer describes
a salient characteristic of the site and
introduces the reader to a basic
excavating tool important to the
sequence of coming events (There is
little rock and hard ground at the site, so
the pick axes we brought will be needed
if we hope to find anything
underground.).
B2> Examples: 1
Journal Entry #3: The writer describes
a hint of the expedition’s first find (About
an hour and fifteen minutes after we had
begun to dig again, I was digging with a
shovel along with Sir Marcus Van Buren
and I heard a “clunk”.).
B3> Examples: 1, 2
right place because once we start, we can’t turn back.
A1>
I
hope that we will discover something that will change what
we know about ancient Egypt, forever. <A1
My team will have some tough work in front of them,
but I know they can handle it. Tomorrow will be a big day,
but I cannot wait for it to come. I can’t help but think that
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #3: The creates
excitement and imbues some scenes
with a furious pace (I had hit something!
Van Buren heard it to and he yelled to
the others that we had found something.
Everyone came rushing over) and (With
the help of the whole team we
completed this task in about an hour’s
time.).
8
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will be beginning an
adventure that could change what we know about ancient
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Egypt forever.
Language. Grade 7, Standard 3
AND Writing. Grade 7, Standard 3:
Journal Entry #3
1st Day of Digging
Today is the beginning of the excavation of our site.
E2>
After surveying the site yesterday, we began to dig away at
(C) L.7.3.a AND W.7.3.d
L.7.3.a
Choose language that expresses ideas
precisely and concisely, recognizing and
eliminating wordiness and redundancy.
W.7.3.d
Use precise words and phrases, relevant
descriptive details, and sensory language
to capture the action and convey
experiences and events.
the rock filled soil. <E2 Once the team had met this morning,
C> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4
we pulled out our pick axes and began to chip away. It was
The writer describes the scene of the
dig concisely through carefully chosen
imagery.
amazing and hard to believe that I was really in the Valley of
the Kings digging away at ground that I and the others hoped
would hold something that would make this all worth wile.
Once we got some of the tougher ground out of the way,
some of us started with the shovels and trowels. These were
very useful in getting much more dirt out of the way. Once we
got to the much sandier dirt, as opposed to the think soil with
stones in it that we had been dealing with before, F>we began
to use the sieves. These are used so that when you put sand
into it, larger objects that were not visible before will be left
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #1: Today, when we
arrived at the site, I was astounded by
the sight of it, tattered with graves.
Journal Entry #9: Vivid descriptions
and carefully chosen imagery allow the
reader to visualize the setting of the dig
and to sense the writer’s emotional
attachment to it (The sun glistened
down on the pale tan-brown Egyptian
soil that has seen so many amazing
things and It was a bright blue, like the
sea, mixed with a dark, deep blue, such
as the deep ocean waters... It was
almost like a dream that I didn’t want to
wake up from).
9
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
behind. These are good if you happen to find a smaller
J>
artifact. <F
<J
All of the tools we brought will be extremely
helpful during the process of the dig.
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Writing. Grade 7, Standard 3:
(D)
I>
Around midday, we had made quite a bit of progress.
We had gotten past the rock, to the soil in most parts, but we
W.7.3.e
Provide a conclusion that follows from
and reflects on the narrated experiences
or events.
D1> Examples: 1
all new that we were only at the beginning. After our lunch
break, the whole team met to discuss the digging so far.
Everyone had the same basic reaction that things were going
well, but nothing has been discovered just yet. That was, until
we resumed digging… <I
B2>
About one hour and fifteen minutes after we had
begun to dig again, I was digging with a shovel along with Sir
Marcus Van Buren and I heard a “clunk”. <B2 B3>I had hit
something! Van Buren heard it to and he yelled to the others
that we had found something. Everyone came rushing over.
<B3
Marcus and I took our trowels and began to dig around
the object that we had unearthed. After a short period of time I
hit some dirt and there was nothing below it. We were at the
part of the site where the ground started to go up to the sides
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #9: The writer concludes
the excavation with mixed feelings that
sometimes to study something one has to
spoil aspects of it (It is a shame that this
amazing tomb now has nothing in it, but
at least it gave us some amazing
results.).
D2> Examples: 1
Journal Entry #9: The writer
summarizes the experience with
economy (When I really thought about it,
those tools were not just tools; they were
the items that allowed us to make an
Egyptian breakthrough) and
demonstrates the narrator’s sadness that
the dig has ended for the present (It was
tough to get through today, but in the
end, I didn’t want to see the sun set.).
10
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
of the valley. Everyone started to realize that we had possibly
found an underground chamber! Our historian Cherleena
James let out a shriek and Shaquille O’Hara, our
photographer, snapped a few early pictures. Once we got a
little bit more of the dirt away, we clearly saw that there was a
10 meter drop, at least. I knew that if I wanted to go any
further, I would have to get away the rest of the dirt and that
could be potentially dangerous. We were hoping that it we
could find the outline of the passageway that we could dig
around that and then get the dirt to fall down into the pit.
B3>
With the help of the whole team we completed this task in
about an hour’s time. <B3 I couldn’t believe my eyes when the
soil actually fell. K>I had actually found a
J>
chamber <J that
hasn’t been seen for thousands of years. <K It was amazing!
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 2:
(E)
WHST.6-8.2.c
Use appropriate and varied transitions to
create cohesion and clarify the
relationships among ideas and concepts.
E1> Examples: 1, 2
Journal Entry #5: Throughout the entry,
the writer uses various transitional
phrases to convey the transition from
one event to another (From there; After
our noontime break).
E2> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4
The writer makes use of varied
transitions and sentence structures to
link journal entries. These create
cohesion by making references, either
implicit or explicit, to what has come
before. (In accomplishing this, the writer
has satisfied WHST.9-10.2.c, which
makes explicit mention of maintaining
continuity among major sections of a
text.)
Journal Entry #3: After surveying the
site yesterday, we began to dig away at
the rock filled soil.
We decided that since it was getting late and that we
were all tired that the digging should stop for today. As much
as I wanted to keep digging, I decided to lay down my tools
for the day. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow because I had a
feeling that tomorrow, I would make history for ancient
Egypt.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #5: I rushed to the site as
quickly as possible this morning, so that
we could start working on decoding the
plaque as quickly as possible.
Journal Entry #7: When I got up this
morning, I felt as though all the
excitement had been sucked out of me
and that I didn’t have anything left. After
what we have done so far, I feel as
though the trip has hit its climax
Journal Entry #7: Today is the last day
of our miraculous dig. It has been one
that will surely be remembered for years
and years to come.
11
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
Journal Entry #4
The Chamber
(Description of arriving at the site the next day and
descending in to the chamber)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 4:
(F)
K>
It was a square shaped room with a perimeter of what
I estimate to be about 25 meters, relatively large. Over on one
side, there were a collection of objects that we weren’t quite
sure what they were. Lanterns and flashlights were passed
down to us on the pulley which would be very helpful in
seeing what was in the dark, dark room. When the room was
lit up we were astonished at the sight that lay before our eyes.
There were decorations all over the wall with pictures of gods
and great designs. It was as if we were in a pyramid or some
pharoah’s tomb! <K
(Description of further exploration of the chamber and
the discovery of a large plaque with hieroglyphs on it)
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
WHST.6-8.4
Produce clear and coherent writing in
which the development, organization,
and style are appropriate to task,
purpose, and audience.
F> Examples: 1, 2,
The writer creates authoritative
assertions appropriate to the narrator’s
profession.
Journal Entry #3: …we began to use
the sieves. These are used so that when
you put sand into it, larger objects that
were not visible before will be left
behind. These are good if you happen to
find a smaller artifact.
Journal Entry #7: We decided to wait
for Chris, who today was packaging up
the plaque so that it could be sent home
for further tests and cleaning without
damage. And without his expertise, it
would be a little risky to remove these
“models” from a place where they’ve
rested for two thousand or more years.
12
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
Journal Entry #5
The Plaque
E2>
I rushed to the site as quickly as possible this
morning, so that we could start working on decoding the
plaque as quickly as possible. <E2 Only about five minutes
after I got there, Sir Marcus Van Buren arrived accompanied
by our artifact preserving specialist, Chris Wingard. Chris had
arrived last night and Marcus had told him everything we had
found so far. So, we were all eager to get down to the chamber
and find out what was on the plaque. When we were down
there, we took another look around the first bigger room to see
if there was anything that we had missed. While looking at the
room, we heard a yell from up above. It was Batman Jones
and the rest of the team who had finally arrived. We told them
to come on down and that Chris had arrived. They were all
excited to see him because most of us had worked with Mr.
Wingard before. After all, he is in at the top of the field of
what he does. After our greetings, I took Chris into the smaller
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 8:
(G)
WHST.6-8.8
Gather relevant information from
multiple print and digital sources, using
search terms effectively; assess the
credibility and accuracy of each source;
and quote or paraphrase the data and
conclusions of others while avoiding
plagiarism and following a standard
format for citation.
Using Internet resources for reference,
the writer describes the setting, the
Valley of the Kings in Egypt, and
demonstrates background knowledge
about Egyptian rulers and nobles buried
there.
G1> Examples: 1, 2
Journal Entry #1: The writer includes
specific information about the Valley of
the Kings (Egyptian rulers and nobles
were buried here from the 16th to 11th
century B.C.E. and It is not far from the
tomb of King Tut, so we will be digging
in a place that has brought results
before.).
G2> Examples: 1
Journal Entry #5: The writer provides
additional linguistic and historical
information. (We had also seen that
there was the Egyptian hieroglyph for
death which made us very excited for
this could be a plaque that might
describe something of the boy king’s
death.)
chamber to let him have a look at the plaque. The first thing
G3> Examples: 1
he noticed was the mentioning of King Tut’s name in
Bibliography: Although the number of
sources is limited, the writer provides a
list of citations presented in a standard
format.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
13
J>
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
hieroglyphs <J many times. When I told this to the rest of
the team it made us all very exited. Could this be a description
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
of King Tut’s death? Could it give directions to other
Language. Grade 7, Standard 1:
chambers made for the boy King? Whatever it is, I’m sure it
will be a big discovery.
Along with the help of the rest of the team, we go the
plaque onto the pulley. Luckily, it was not attached to the wall
and was not too heavy. We got it up onto the pulley and had to
heave it up onto the heap of sandbags we had laid out.
E1>
From there, <E1 we put the plaque on a little cart and
moved it from there to the camp we had set up. Chris
unpacked his equipment and got ready to get down to work. I
stayed with him to help decode the plaque while Marcus went
back down into the chamber with the others. Around lunch
time, Chris and I had noticed the mentioning of King Tut’s
numerous times. K> G2>We had also seen that there was the
Egyptian hieroglyph for death which made us very exited for
this could be a plaque that might describe something of the
boy kings death. <G2<K E1>After our noontime break, <E1 I
went back underground with the others. I informed the rest of
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
(H)
L.7.1.b
Choose among simple, compound,
complex, and compound-complex
sentences to signal differing
relationships among ideas.
H> Examples: 1
Journal Entry #1: The writer uses a
variety of sentence types to express
development of his interest in
archaeology into his profession. (My
name is Liam Bailey. I am an
Egyptologist and have been fascinated
with civilization from an early age. I
made a hobby into a profession in 2018
when I graduated from Harvard
University. I have participated in several
digs, but I am still waiting for my big
archaeological find. Today is the first
day in my two week archaeological dig
in the Valley of the Kings.)
14
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
the team of our findings so far, and they were all just as exited
as we were. Batman Jones, the
J>
geologist <J on the team,
called me over to the plaque room while I was there. It seemed
as though, she had found another block covering a second
passageway. This was not unusual for chambers or tombs to
have many rooms and passageways. This one was much
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
Language. Grade 7, Standard 2:
(I)
L.7.2
Demonstrate command of the
conventions of standard English
capitalization, punctuation, and spelling
when writing.
I > Examples: 1
smaller that the door we had found before so it would be much
harder to get through it to wherever it went. She said she
would tell the rest of the team and that they would try to get it
open. I headed back up to see how Chris was doing. To my
surprise, he had decoded almost the entire plaque’s
hieroglyphs. It was indeed a plaque describing King Tut’s
death! This was extremely exiting, but there was just one
problem. The part of the plaque that described exactly what
happened was covered in a built up sand substance. Chris
would have to work on getting this off and that would take a
while. So, we decided that it would be better if we left that for
tomorrow since it was getting late. Chris Wingard and I
headed down to the chamber to have one last check at what
was happening with the second passageway before we were
done for the day. Unluckily, this block was not moving as
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
Journal Entry #3: The writer takes
advantage of a good command of
standard English capitalization,
punctuation, and spelling to enhance
clarity, meaning, and continuity. The few
errors do not interfere with
understanding. (Around midday, we had
made quite a bit of progress. We had
gotten past the rock, to the soil in most
parts, but we all new that we were only
at the beginning. After our lunch break,
the whole team met to discuss the
digging so far. Everyone had the same
basic reaction that things were going
well, but nothing has been discovered
just yet. That was, until we resumed
digging…).
15
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
easily as the first one did. So, we all decided that since the
sun was about to set, it would be better if we left the rest of
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
the work for tomorrow. We have made so much progress
Writing Standards for History/Social
Studies, Science, and Technical
Subjects—Grades 6-8, Standard 2:
today and I have no idea what will be in store for us
(J)
tomorrow, but I do know that whatever it is, it will change
Historians outlook on ancient Egypt, forever…
WHST.6-8.2.d
Use precise language and domainspecific vocabulary to inform about or
explain the topic.
J> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Journal Entry # 7
The Passageway
E2>
When I got up this morning, I felt as though all of the
excitement had been sucked out of me and that I didn’t have
anything left. After what we have done so far, I feel as though
this trip has hit a climax. <E2 We have already made an
J>
archaeological find <J that will change the entire world of
Ancient Egypt. What could top that? This trip has already
been a great success and whatever happens today, and in the
last remaining days, will be an added extra.
As I arrived at the site this morning, I was greeted by the
rest of the team. The mood around the camp was happy, but I
sensed that they felt the same way as I did about the rest of the
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
The writer lends an authentic and
professional tone to the journal with
precise, relevant domain-specific
vocabulary.
Journal Entry #1:
Egyptologist, 16th to 11th century B.C.E.
Journal Entry #3: artifact, chamber
Journal Entry #5: hieroglyphs, geologist
Journal Entry #7:
archaeological find, statuette
Journal Entry #9: site
16
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
trip. At around ten forty five, am, we headed down into the
second room to try to get the block loose. We tugged and
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
tugged and finally, after lots of hard work, we finally got it
History and Social Science:
Grade 7, Standards 15 AND 16:
loose. It was a very skinny tunnel and was very dark. We
shone our flashlight down the tube through the earth and we
saw the end of it. It was not very far, about eight to nine
meters, but we were faced with a pretty tough dilemma. How
were we supposed do get someone down the shaft when it was
(K) HSS.7.16 AND HSS.7.16
HSS.7.15
Describe the polytheistic religion of
ancient Egypt with respect to beliefs
about death, the afterlife, mummification,
and the roles of different deities.
HSS.7.16
Summarize important achievements of
Egyptian civilization.
K> Examples: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
so skinny, and also how would we then get to what we hoped
was past the rock blocking it at the end of the passageway.
So, we decided that we would use the wireless drill that we
brought to get through the hard rock. It would’ve been nice to
keep the block intact, just for the sake of keeping this whole
chamber, or set of chambers, looking nice, but what’s behind
that wall will make it all worth it. I was the one that would go
down with the drill to unveil what could be another great
discovery. It took a little while because I had to go slow so the
rock that would come from the block would not hit me very
hard. When I had cleared enough away to look through, I
could see another room. It was very hard to see the exact
details of this chamber for it was extremely dark. When I lit
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
The writer’s stance in this journal of an
archaeologist assumes knowledge of the
profession and Egyptian civilization with
little need for extensive explanation.
Nevertheless, the writer demonstrates
knowledge of the tools and techniques
used by archaelogists as well as many
of the historical events, achievements
and culture of ancient Egypt, including:
Polytheistic religion
Journal Entry #7 …most Egyptian gods
had very distinct features… but Batman
Jones did notice one of the gods, Osiris
the god of the dead, was not too
damaged …The white paint on the body
and the green paint on the hands were
still in a very nice nature. The statuette
was about one and a half feet tall and
being Osiris, was carrying a crook and a
flail.
K Example Information
(CONTINUED NEXT PAGE)
17
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
up the chamber with my flashlight, I could see what I looked
like just another clump of rocks in the corner, so I carried on
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY:
:
with my drilling. Once I finally got the opening completely
History and Social Science:
Grade 7, Standards 15 AND 16:
clear, I went through and was soon followed by the other team
members. We all took our flashlights out and Marcus ran back
up to grab a lantern. With all of this, we could see the room
K> K Example Information
CONTINUED FROM
PREVIOUS PAGE
Monumental architecture and art
much better and what we saw was amazing…
In front of us, all over the ground be a collection of
miniature statues of gods. Most of them were immediately
recognizable for K>most Egyptian gods had very distinct
features. Unluckily, many of them were broken and in bad
shape, but Batman Jones did notice one of the gods, Osiris the
god of the dead, was not too damaged. This statue was in
extremely good shape compared to the others in the room.
The white paint on the body and the green paint on the hands
were still in a very nice nature. The
J>
statuette <J was about
one and a half feet tall and being Osiris, was carrying a crook
and a flail. <K
F>
Journal Entry #1 (describing the site)…
I was astounded by the sight of it,
tattered with graves. It was like going
back in time to see all of these tombs,
each holding answers to the mysteries
of ancient Egypt.
Journal Entry #3 (describing the
discovery of the underground chamber)
… I had actually found a chamber that
hasn’t been seen for thousands of years.
Journal Entry #4 It was a square
shaped room with a perimeter of what I
estimate to be about 25 meters,
relatively large. …When the room was lit
up we were astonished at the sight that
lay before our eyes. There were
decorations all over the wall with
pictures of gods and great designs. It
was as if we were in a pyramid or some
pharoah’s tomb!
Hieroglyphic writing
Journal Entry #5: …We had also seen
that there was the Egyptian hieroglyph
for death which made us very exited for
this could be a plaque that might
describe something of the boy king’s
death.
We decided to wait for Chris, who today was
packaging up the plaque so that it could be sent back home for
further tests and cleaning without damage being done to it.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
END OF COMMENTARY
18
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
And without his expertise, it would be a little risky to remove
these “models” from a place where they’ve rested for two
thousand or more years. <F So, when he comes back to the site
tomorrow, we would be able to move the statues of the gods,
with hopes that the undamaged one of Osiris makes it out of
here safely.
Today, believe it or not, has been extremely astonishing.
I thought that with finding the plaque, we would be the end of
our excitement for the trip, but I was so wrong. These
miniature statuettes may not give us answers to mysteries
thousands of years old, but they are still incredibly valuable
and remarkable artifacts.
Journal Entry #9
Last Day
E2>
Today is the last day of our miraculous dig. It has
been one that will surely be remembered for years and years to
come. <E2 I got to the
J>
site <J extra early this morning at six
thirty, so that I could take full advantage of the final day.
When I stepped out of my truck, I decided to take a last walk
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
19
around the part of the Valley of the Kings where we were. I
still marveled at the beautiful site of the enormous valley. It
felt as though I had just gotten here yesterday, but in fact, I’ve
been here for more than a month. I looked at all of the other
tombs and chambers that have been found and thought that
now I was part of the select group to have made a discovery in
the Valley of the Kings. C>The sun glistened down on the pale
tan-brown Egyptian soil that has seen so many amazing
things. <C The sky was a blue that I have never seen before. It
was so astounding in its color that I almost cannot be
described. C>It was a bright blue, like the sea, mixed with a
dark deep blue, such as the deep ocean waters. <C The sight of
the valley this morning is one that I will never forget for as
long as I live. As I continued to walk, all I could hear was the
sand crunching beneath my feet, because no one had arrived in
the valley yet. I stopped and just looked all around me with
complete silence. C>It was almost like a dream that I didn’t
want to wake up from. <C I was unhappy to be having to leave
tomorrow, but I decided to look on the bright side and make
the best of today.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
20
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
When the rest of the team arrived about and hour and a
half later at eight o’clock, we had a team meeting. Everyone
was also sad to be leaving, but they were happy that they had
at least one more day. We all went down into the tomb for one
last time. It was so amazing to think that a little less than a
month ago, we found this amazing place. In it was an answer
to a three thousand year old mystery, and many beautiful
works of art with one that was a true keeper. The wall where
the plaque once was is now bear, and the room in which the
statuettes stood, is now completely empty. D1>It is a shame
that this amazing tomb now has nothing in it, but at least it
gave us some amazing results. <D1 It was odd to go down the
ladder to the first room for I remember my first time I went
down it, slowly, with the anticipation boiling inside of me. It
was again a little awkward to slide down the second
passageway, for I was the first to go down this one as well.
Although the anxiousness is not there, I still get the similar
feel of excitement each time I go down these passageways.
While we were down in the chamber, nobody talked very
much. It was definitely a time of remembering all of the great
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
21
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
things that happened 20 meters under the Egyptian soil and
rock.
After we were done in the chamber, we had to pack up
all of the materials we had brought. The plaque and figurines
are already back at the hotel so all that is left to do is pack up
all the. Everyone came in handy and not one was left
untouched. Everything from the pick axes to the sandbags, to
the pencil and paper was used multiple times. It was
depressing to see everything get put in boxes so be shipped
away. D2>When I really thought about it, those tools were not
just tools; they were items that allowed us to make an
Egyptian breakthrough. It was tough to get through today, but
in the end, I didn’t want to see the sun set. <D2 Today may
have been my last day in the Valley of the Kings for now, but
I know that someday I will come back.
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)
22
GRADE 7
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Massachusetts History and Social Science Curriculum
Framework (20013
G3>
Bibliography <G3
1. "Valley of the Kings, 1998" National Geographic. 16 January 2009.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://photography.nation
algeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Photography/I
mages/POD/v/valley-of-the- kings-515623
sw.jpg&imgrefurl=http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/phot
ography/ enlarge/valley-of-the-kings__
pod__image.html&usg=__jExBFnBh2XHFP6fCBJjawZkCooO=&h
=600&w= 800&sz= 106&hl=en&start= 18&um=
1&tbnid=UmJpgpXTihSNJM:&tbnh= 107&tbn w=
143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvalley%2BofU/o2Bthe%2Bkings%26
um%3D
1%26 hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1 T4RNWE
enUS308US308%26sa%3DN
2. "Valley of the Kings" Wikipedia. 16 January 2009.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wikiValley__Of__The__Kings
3. "Valley of the Kings" 16 January 2009.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.crystalinks.co
m/votkmap.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.crystalinks.com/valleykings.
html&usg=__2S2m7yiSg99MdH=AZjEEdex6P3c=&h=53
5&w=700&sz=92&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=hKQp91Hz6ikXi
M:&tbnh=107&tbnw=140&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvalley%2Bof0/
o2Bthe%2Bkings%26um%3D1 %26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1
T4RNWE enUS308US308%26 sa%3DN
END OF WRITING SAMPLE
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
SAMPLE C7-3 (Inform/Explain—An Imaginary Journal)