October 2013
Madison Public Schools
Matthew Mingle, Director of Curriculum
Your involvement in middle school
is essential for your child’s success
The transition to middle school brings important changes for your child—
but also for you. If you were actively involved in his education in elementary
school, you may have volunteered often in the classroom, had a close relationship with his teacher and participated in hands-on activities.
In middle school your involvement continues to be critical to your child’s
success, but your role changes to one of coaching and support.
To help your child succeed in middle
school:
• Emphasize the value of education.
Tell your child that education is a high
priority for your family.
• Relate education to real life. For
example, hundreds of jobs, from being
a cashier to being an engineer or physicist,
require knowledge of math.
• Have your child set quarterly goals.
They should be realistic, such as raising a
grade one letter in one class. They should also include a plan for reaching
the goal.
• Be supportive, but encourage independence. If your child doesn’t know
an answer, encourage him to look in his book or notes before asking you.
• Get to know his teachers and their expectations. Let them know if
you see your child struggling.
Source: S. Shellenbarger, “How Parents Can Best Help Middle-Schoolers,” The Wall Street Journal, August
2009, http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2009/08/12/how-parents-can-best-help-middle-schoolers/.
Handle your child’s defiant behaviors
In middle school, your child may begin to display some difficult and defiant
behaviors. That’s all part of adolescence—leaving childhood behind, separating from parents, and questioning identity and beliefs.
For many middle school kids, this
means talking back to parents. Here
are some guidelines for handling this
behavior:
• Remember that you’re the
adult. Resist the urge to argue
back. Practice calm responses.
“You sound pretty upset. I’m
sorry to hear this. When you calm
down, I’ll be happy to help if I
can.”
• Continue to set limits. Some
backtalk is developmental, but
never tolerate profanity directed at
you or another person.
• Enjoy the positive side. Your
child’s new ability to argue actually
reflects higher-level thinking and
reasoning skills which are important to her academic success.
Source: D. Collins, “What Should I Do with My
Defiant Middle-Schooler?” GreatSchools.org,
http://tinyurl.com/cl2t54m.
Help your child with
reading comprehension
Middle schoolers are required to master
complex reading materials. This presents a
challenge for many students. But reading is
a learned skill and can be improved with
practice. Share these ideas with your child.
• Read for pleasure. The more your
child reads, the more fluent he’ll become.
• Read actively. Following the words on
the page isn’t enough for many students.
Some students need to be more engaged,
such as by taking notes.
• Master new vocabulary. When he
reads an unfamiliar word, he should look
up its definition and write it down.
Source: Math and Reading Help, “Middle School Reading:
Improving Your Seventh and Eighth Grader’s Reading
Comprehension,” Math and Reading Help for Kids,
http://tinyurl.com/d3tb6wy.
Journals help writing skills
Your middle schooler has a lot to think
about. Encourage her to keep a journal. It
can help her sort through her
feelings about schoolwork
and life in general. It will
also build her writing
skills. Just remember to
respect her privacy.
Does your child want
quality or quantity time?
Children need lots of time with their parents,
whether it’s “quality” or “quantity” time. But
don’t overlook plain old “downtime.” It’s
during these unscheduled, relaxed moments
that you’ll catch glimpses of your child’s joys
and frustrations. Try to:
• Make it a priority to be
available for your child.
• Have your child help
with chores while you chat
about school.
• Relax and just hang out—no
entertainment required.
Copyright © 2013, The Parent Institute®, www.parent-institute.com
Motivate your child with
enthusiasm and pride
October 2013
Why is my child nervous
about school in October?
Q: School started weeks ago, but my seventh grader still seems
to have the “back to school jitters.” Is this normal?
A: Yes. Middle school is a time of huge changes for kids. On top of your
child’s academic responsibilities, she’s also facing a whole new world of social
pressures. Add to that her ever-shifting emotions, and it’s easy to see why every
day at school feels like the first day.
Still, you don’t want your child to become
overly anxious about school. To help her keep her
bearings as she gets through these early months:
• Be available to talk. Don’t grill her
when she gets off the bus, but make sure
you’re around if she wants to talk about
her day. As much as she’s trying to grow up
and be independent, she still needs—and
wants—your love and support.
• Empathize with her. Instead of mentioning her school-related jitters directly (which
may embarrass her), talk about your own
life. “Ever since I moved to a different department at work, I’ve
had a hard time getting to know my officemates. It can be tough to be the
new person.” Let her see that nervousness is normal and manageable.
• Seek help. If your child’s nerves are overwhelming her, ask her guidance
counselor for help. Anxiety feeds on itself, so it’s critical to stop it before
it gets out of hand.
Do you know your child’s learning style?
Understanding how he learns best can be critical to your child’s success in
middle school. Answer yes for something you have done to discover and work
with your child’s learning style and no for something you haven’t done yet.
___1. Do you explain to your
child that people learn differently? Learning is not “one
size fits all.”
___2. Do you ask your child
about how he learns best?
Does he retain information
best if he hears it, sees it, or
uses his hands to perform a
task relating to it?
___3. Do you give your child tips
for using his learning style?
___4. Do you encourage your
child to talk to his teachers
about his learning style?
___5. D
o you encourage your
child to use his learning style
when approaching projects
and other tasks?
How did you do?
Mostly yes answers mean you are
helping your child explore and work
with his learning style. Mostly no?
Check the quiz for some suggestions
on doing so.
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If your child is starting to lose motivation,
here’s how you can help:
• Show enthusiasm about what he’s
learning. It may not be new to you, but if
it is to him, let yourself be wowed!
• Celebrate all victories. Acing a math
test is a great reason for high-fives. But
so is a solid B on a history project if your
child worked hard.
Respect is shown many ways
We all want to be respected, but to earn
respect, we have to show respect. Teach your
child that respect means:
• Exercising self-control.
• Listening politely to teachers and parents.
• Being on time.
• Being trustworthy.
• Caring for others.
Source: Legacy Educational Resources, “Character Education,”
www.character-education.info/resources/lesson_plans_
curriculum.htm.
Review the steps in making
decisions with your child
Kids who make smart choices are more likely
to take responsibility for their actions. Review
good decision-making skills with your child.
When making a decision, she should:
1. Define the situation clearly. What is the
main issue at hand?
2. Think about how to handle
the task. There’s almost
always more than one
option.
3. List pros (positives) and
cons (negatives) about
each possible solution.
4. Weigh the pros and cons to
make a decision with confidence.
Helping Students Learn®
Published in English and Spanish, September through May.
Publisher: John H. Wherry, Ed.D.
Editor: Stacey Marin.
Staff Editors: Rebecca Miyares & Erika Beasley.
Writer: Erika Beasley. Production Manager: Pat Carter.
Translations Editor: Victoria Gaviola.
Layout & Illustrations: Maher & Mignella, Cherry Hill, NJ.
Copyright © 2013, The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.
P.O. Box 7474, Fairfax Station, VA 22039-7474
1-800-756-5525 • www.parent-institute.com • ISSN 1526-9272
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Copyright © 2013, The Parent Institute®, www.parent-institute.com
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