Breathing Life into Essays
(Informational)
Homework Packet
This is the rubric you will be graded on at the end of this unit.
Focus
1
2
you have no thesis,
or topic
no audience in
mind,
weak single topic
3
4
specific audience,
clear thesis
statement,
suggested by each
paragraph
specific audience,
clear thesis
statement,
proved by each
paragraph
three distinct
bullets,
in three paragraphs
substantial
supporting evidence
in each
intro,
3 logically ordered
paragraph body,
transitional words,
concluding thoughts
Content
less than two
distinct bullets
two distinct bullets
three distinct
bullets,
in three paragraphs
supporting evidence
in each
Organization
missing more than
one feature from
the three column
missing one thing
from the three
column
intro,
3 body,
transitional words
Style
Conventions
basic and ineffective
your word choice
sends mixed
messages
too confusing to
understand
mistakes that affect
meaning in:
grammar,
spelling,
punctuation,
complete sentences
varied sentences,
appropriate word
choice
three to six mistakes
that don't affect
meaning:
grammar,
spelling,
punctuation,
complete sentences
varied sentences,
appropriate word
choice,
all used to create a
specific tone
one or two mistakes
in:
grammar,
spelling,
punctuation,
complete sentences
Here is an example of what your essay should look like when you are finished.
Love Can Build A House That Stands Forever
By William
My mom is the best mom a kid could ever have. Believe it or not she cleans after she comes home from
work. She wakes up early everyday and she also goes to work even when she is sick. She does all of these
things because she loves the whole family.
The first way my mom works hard for the family is by cleaning after work. One day when my mom
came home from work she couldn’t believe it. The house was so dirty. There was dust all over the place?!
“What happened?!” she asked, nobody answered. I couldn’t believe it after she came from work tired she took
the mop and the broom and started cleaning. First she cleaned the kitchen. She wants everything to be in order
for dinner. She cleans the bedroom. She knows I could do it but she does it anyway. She cleans the bathroom.
She knows it’s nasty but she does it without any complaints.
Not only does my mom work hard for the family by cleaning after work, but by waking up early
everyday. When I hear the creaking sound of the door of my bedroom I could tell that she was getting my
clothes. When I wake up she always has my clothes hanging from the chairs. I could tell she woke up early.
When I put them on they fit just right and they look pretty too. If my mom wasn’t beside me I wouldn’t know
what to do and I would be so disappointed. She wakes up early everyday to put my clothes in order. Depending
on what activity I have. She wakes up early everyday to check my book bag I case I forgot a book or sheet. She
wakes up early everyday to see what is the temperature to see if I need a coat.
Perhaps the most important way why my mom works hard for the family is by never missing a day of
work even when she is sick. One morning my mom told me that she was sick. She sneezed, she coughed, she
even wasted a pack of tissues. When she went to her job, that exact moment I felt that my mom could do
anything. When she left, I was worried. She left in an awful condition. When she got home she felt better. “Hey
Mom, are you okay?” I said.
“I’ve never felt better” she said. I was so relieved.
When she is sick she can still give me breakfast. She tries her best to give me something simply to eat.
When she is sick she can still put my clothes in order. She knows I put on whatever she gives me. When she is
sick she can still help me with my homework. When I am stuck she tries her best to help me.
What I’ve realized is that my mom does all of this because she loves the family. She wants the family to
be together and have what we need. This past week I was singing up on stage a song titled “We Will Be a
Shelter For Each Other.” There’s a line that says “Love can build a house that stands forever.” I realized that
those words are how I feel about my mom- my mom who cleans up after work, wakes up early, and goes to
work even when she is sick. It’s my mom that makes the family so strong.
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 1 – Collecting and Growing Ideas
Today, in class, we spent time collecting ideas and growing those topics using a t-chart. Tonight, do
the same thing. Think about a topic you know well. Is it a sport, an activity, a social studies topic, a science
topic? Is it something you are or something you know how to do? Is it a place that you’ve been? Make a list
of topics or just choose one topic. Either way, have many thoughts about that topic and try to grow them.
You may use thinking prompts to help. You should have at least a complete page of thoughts.
Thinking prompts:
 This makes me think…
 …and the thought I have about this is…
 To add on…
 An example of this is…
 I’m realizing…
 The surprising thing is…
 On the other hand…
For example:
My topic - Rock Band
Rock Band is more fun to play when you are with friends. This makes me think that part of the fun is how
other people react to what is happening on the screen. To add on, it is also fun when people choose different
songs in the game.
Rock Band makes people feel like they are in a real band. This makes me think that people like to make music.
To add on, not everyone can play a real instrument and it is fun to pretend that you can. The surprising thing is
that it may help some people to be able to get a better sense of rhythm and perhaps they would have an
easier time learning an instrument if they took lessons after playing Rock Band.
Rock Band is good for teaching people how to be part of a group. An example of this is playing an instrument
you may not want to play so that your band has all the instruments. Another example is that you have to play
your part or else it won’t be heard in the song. This makes me think that players really have to work as a team.
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 2 – Crafting a Thesis
Today, in class, we came up with a thesis that we will be writing about during the day. Tonight, your
homework is to write another thesis about that same topic. This will be a thesis that you will continue to
write about for homework each night.
For example:
Topic:
Rock Climbing
My thesis today was:
Rock climbing is a healthy activity.
My thesis for homework:
Rock climbing takes skill.
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 3 – Planning with Boxes and Bullets
Today, in class, we came up with supporting ideas for our thesis. The thesis was the box and each
supporting idea was a bullet. Tonight, you will come up with three supporting details for your nighttime
thesis.
For example:
My thesis for homework:
Rock climbing takes skill.



Rock climbing takes skill.
You have to be good at balancing.
You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to be able to do different jobs.
Having trouble?
If you are having trouble coming up with three bullets, you may want to try changing your thesis a little. One
way is to make your thesis more general. For example, if your thesis was “Violent television is bad for kids,”
you could change it to “Television is bad for kids.” Another way is to make your thesis more specific. For
example, if your thesis was “Sports are fun,” you could change it to “Four square is fun.” If neither of those
works, you may want to choose a different thesis. (Remember it should still be about the same topic.)
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 4 – Planning with Boxes and Bullets (2)
Today, in class, we came up with bullets for each of our supporting ideas from yesterday (we called
these the ‘bing’, the ‘bang’, and the ‘bongo’). Tonight, you will come up with three bullets for your
nighttime ‘bing’, ‘bang’, and ‘bongo’.
For example:
From last night:



Rock climbing takes skill.
You have to be good at balancing.
You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to be able to do different jobs.
Tonight:



You have to be good at balancing.
You can use your arms to balance.
You can use your legs to balance.
You can use your head to balance.
B
I
N
G



You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to decide what to do with your hands.
You have to decide what to do with your feet.
You have to decide how to use each rock.
B
A
N
G
You have to be able to do different jobs.



You have to be able to climb.
You have to be able to belay.
You have to be able to communicate.
B
O
N
G
O
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 5 – Sharing to Test Your Ideas
Today, in class, we shared our boxes and bullets with our writing partners. We basically said our
essay out loud as complete sentences. Our goal was to weed out any bad ideas and/or come up with better
ideas by hearing our ideas out loud and giving our writing partners a chance to comment and give
suggestions. Tonight, find someone with whom to share your nighttime boxes and bullets. In your writer’s
notebook, make any changes or jot down any ideas you receive from your nighttime helper.
For example:
Notice the changes from last night:



Rock climbing takes skill.
You have to be good at balancing.
You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to be able to do different jobs.



You have to be good at balancing.
You have to use balance to keep you from falling off the wall.
You have to use balance to go higher.
You have to use balance to get yourself to hard to reach rocks.
B
I
N
G



You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to decide what to do with your hands.
You have to decide what to do with your feet.
You have to decide how to use each rock.
BB
AA
N
G
You have to be able to do different jobs.



You have to be able to climb.
You have to be able to belay.
You have to be able to check equipment.
B
O
N
G
O
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 6 – Drafting
Today, in class, we wrote a draft of our essays. Tonight, you will do the same with your nighttime
thesis. Use the original box and bullets to write the intro. Then use the boxes and bullets you created last
night to write three supporting paragraphs. Finally, write a conclusion that reminds people of your thesis
and your three reasons.
For example:
Rock climbing takes skill. You have to be good at balancing. You have to be a good decision-maker. You
have to be able to do different jobs.
One skill you have to be good at is balancing. Without balance, you will fall off the wall. Once you are
able to stay on the wall, you will want to go higher. As you reach for the next higher rock, you will need to
stay balanced and keep yourself from falling. Sometimes the rock you need is not directly above you.
Sometimes it’s to the side and you’ll be required to lean across to get it. Without balance, you’ll be
dropping back to the floor.
Another skill you’ll need is the ability to make decisions. You have to decide what to do with each of
your hands. Should they remain where they are? Should you push against a wall or grab another rock? You
also have to think about what to do with your feet. Which rock should I step on next? You also have to be
able to decide how to use the rocks available to you. Some are good places to put your feet. Others are
better for grabbing with your hands.
Being able to do various jobs is another skill you’ll need if you want to be a rock climber. You need to
be able to be the person who climbs the wall or mountain. Another job that rock climbers need to be able
to do is to belay. The belayer is the person who holds the rope and ensures that if the climber falls, he or
she doesn’t fall very far. Another job required by both climbers and belayers is checking the equipment.
Before anyone climbs, it is important to make sure that the rope is fastened properly and carabiners are
connected correctly and locked.
As you can see, rock climbing is not easy. It takes skill. Balance is one important skill. Making decisions
is also very important. Finally, you’ll need to be able to do more than one job.
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 7 – Composing Mini-stories
Today, in class, we brainstormed mini-stories that support our theses. Tonight, use the guidelines to
help you as you compose some mini-stories to go with your nighttime thesis. Remember saying them aloud
(to a parent, friend, or even a pet) will help you to make sure you angle each story so it proves the point
from the essay.
Guidelines for Writing Supporting Stories for Essays
 Writers usually include a transition into the story
 The story needs to have a beginning, middle, and end.
 The story needs to be told to especially reveal the
part of it that illustrates the thesis and bullet points.
 At the end of the story, it is usually wise to include a
sentence that refers back to or repeats the main idea
of that paragraph.
For example:
One skill you have to be good at is balancing. I remember a time when I first started climbing. I put my right
foot on a rock about six inches off the ground. Leaning forward, I put my hands on the wall. I lifted my left foot
about a foot off the ground and placed it on a rock. As I leaned back to determine where I should move next, I
dropped to the ground. As you can see without balance, you will fall off the wall.
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 8 – Crafting Effective Leads & Endings
Today, in class, we revised our leads to ensure that they let readers know that what you are about to
tell them is important. We revised endings to show how we are acting differently or how others should act
differently based on what you have written. Tonight, use the charts to help you revise your nighttime
introductory and concluding paragraphs.
Ways to Start an Essay




Tell a story about one person needing the information this essay will convey. What
(that person and) others need to know is that…
Many people (don’t know, don’t realize, don’t think), but I’ve (come to know, think
it’s important)…
Have you ever (wondered/wanted to know)…? I have found …
Raise a question that people ask… and show that this essay will answer it.
Ways to End an Essay






(My thesis) is true. Because this is true, isn’t it also true that…
I realize that…
This makes me think…
I realize that when I…, I feel …
Other people should care about this because…
This is important because…
For example:
New introduction:
There I was, first in line at the rock-climbing wall! Having never climbed a wall before and realizing that
a line of my co-workers would be watching me, I wished I knew more about how to rock climb. If you are
wondering if rock climbing is the sport for you, read this essay and find out. Rock climbing takes skill. You have
to be good at balancing. You have to be a good decision-maker. You have to be able to do different jobs.
New ending:
As you can see, rock climbing is not easy. It takes skill. Balance is one important skill. Making decisions
is also very important. Finally, you’ll need to be able to do more than one job. This makes me think that
rock climbing is not for everyone. Is it for you?
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 9 – Revising for Style
Today, in class, we revised for style. We did this by adding transitions and figurative
language. We also played with our sentences by using independent and dependent clauses as well as
various sentence types. Tonight, revise your nighttime piece using these same strategies.
Examples of sentences with dependent clauses… at the beginning:
When writing, try to vary your sentences.
Before climbing, it is important to check your equipment.
…at the end.
Try to vary your sentences when writing.
It is important to check your equipment before climbing.
For example:
There I was, first in line at the rock-climbing wall! Having never climbed a wall before and realizing that
a line of my co-workers would be watching me, I wished I knew more about how to rock climb. If you are
wondering if rock climbing is the sport for you, read this essay and find out. Rock climbing takes skill. You
have to be good at balancing. You have to be a good decision-maker. You have to be able to do different
jobs.
One skill you have to be good at is balancing. Without balance, you will fall off the wall. Once you are
able to stay on the wall, you will want to go higher! As you reach for the next higher rock, you will need to
stay balanced and keep yourself from falling. Sometimes the rock you need is not directly above you.
Sometimes it’s to the side and you’ll be required to lean across to get it. Without balance, you’ll be
dropping like a leaf in autumn.
Another skill you’ll need is the ability to make decisions. As you look around you, you have to decide
what to do with each of your hands. Should they remain where they are? Should you push against a wall or
grab another rock? Furthermore, you have to think about what to do with your feet. Which rock should I
step on next? Finally, you have to be able to decide how to use the rocks available to you. Some are good
places to put your feet. Others are better for grabbing with your hands.
Being able to do various jobs is another skill you’ll need if you want to be a rock climber. Obviously, you
need to be able to be the person who climbs the wall or mountain. Another job that rock climbers need to
be able to do is to belay. The belayer is the person who holds the rope and ensures that if the climber falls,
he or she doesn’t fall very far. Another job required by both climbers and belayers is checking the
equipment. Before anyone climbs, it is important to make sure that the rope is fastened properly and
carabiners are connected correctly and locked.
As you can see, rock climbing is not easy. It takes skill. Balance is one important skill. Making decisions
is also very important. Finally, you’ll need to be able to do more than one job. This makes me think that
rock climbing is not for everyone. Is it for you?
Breathing Life into Essays
Informational
Session 10 – Planning for a Prompt
During this unit, we have gone through all the steps for brainstorming, planning, drafting,
revising, and publishing an informational essay. If we plan well, we can be assured that our piece will be
organized and be well on its way to having a sufficient amount of content. Tonight, plan all the boxes
and bullets for the prompt that follows.
There are many different kinds of entertainment, such as music, games, books, or movies. Explain
your favorite type of entertainment and why you like it.
Your homework should include all of the boxes and bullets.



Rock climbing takes skill.
You have to be good at balancing.
You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to be able to do different jobs.



You have to be good at balancing.
You have to use balance to keep you from falling off the wall.
You have to use balance to go higher.
You have to use balance to get yourself to hard to reach rocks.
B
I
N
G



You have to be a good decision-maker.
You have to decide what to do with your hands.
You have to decide what to do with your feet.
You have to decide how to use each rock.
B
A
N
G
You have to be able to do different jobs.



You have to be able to climb.
You have to be able to belay.
You have to be able to check equipment.
B
O
N
G
O