Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
WRITING ESSAYS MADE EASY
WRITING ESSAYS MADE SO EASY THAT GRADE 12 COLLEGE STUDENTS WILL LOVE THE
MERE MENTION OF ESSAY WRITING ; yes, that’s right, you will love essays…
ESSAY
FIRST AND FOREMOST, you must have a purpose; your purpose is your THESIS
Your THESIS is supported by your body paragraphs which contain the reasons and evidence
used to back up you thesis
BASIC STRUCTURE: Introduction, Body Paragraph 1, Body Paragraph 2, Body Paragraph 3,
Conclusion; Body Paragraphs Order: strong, weak, strongest OR weak, strong, strongest
ALWAYS cite your sources; the sources are only there to help support your ideas about the
novel/play; it is important to communicate your ideas
You may NOT USE the following words ever in a formal literary essay: you, your, (2 nd
person); I, me, we, us, myself (first person)
AVOID the following phrases: This essay will discuss; This quotation will show; My second
argument is;
ABSOLUTELY NO CONTRACTIONS (isn’t, can’t, haven’t)
PLEASE REMEMBER: essays are written using the present tense; the only time you do not
change the tense is if you are citing a quotation (you do not change the words in a quotation)
ESSAY WRITING IS A PROCESS: you do not write ONE DRAFT, unless you do not like
yourself very much on that particular day; you persevere, because you are worth it; you write,
read, reread, edit, rewrite because your thoughts are worth that kind of attention; you are
worthy, your thoughts are worthy……..give them the attention they deserve
Note the joy with which the above students
are writing their essays; they think, they
write, they read and reread; they edit, they
revise, they conference; they rewrite with
joy in their hearts; they get closer to the
final draft; they write the final draft; they
experience unknowable joy; they hand in
their work, full of pride, full of joy; they do
not crush their English teachers like bugs;
they bring joy to the hearts of their English
teachers; I can’t wait to read your essays!!!
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
WRITING ESSAYS MADE EASY
WRITING ESSAYS MADE SO EASY THAT GRADE 12 COLLEGE STUDENTS WILL LOVE THE
MERE MENTION OF ESSAY WRITING ; yes, that’s right, you will love essays…if I keep writing
this, you will believe it is true
ESSAY ORGANIZATION
Thesis Statement:
The Purpose of
your essay
It is found at the
end of your
introduction.
Sample Essay
Question: Women
are viewed as
equals in the novel
The Beach.
Sample Thesis
Statement 1 : Sal
is the leader; Cassie
does not matter
unless men discuss
her and her
opinions; Francoise
is a sex-object.
Women are either
menacing in their
roles, non-existent
unless mentioned
by men, or
subservient to
men’s sexual
Sample Essay Question 2: Discuss the author’s use of symbols
in the novel.
Sample Thesis Statement 2: Symbols in the novel illustrate the
death of Richard’s old life, his rebirth as a member of the beach
and his reentry into real life as an Englishman once again.
desires.
Women
are not equal to
men in the
novel.
Indent.
Your introduction begins with a general statement about the topic of your essay
The next two or three sentences should have some background information about your topic
and the novel.
Then write a sentence that leads to your thesis statement.
Write your thesis statement.
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
SAMPLE INTRODUCTION
As much as things change, some things always stay the same. Regardless of how far the
women’s movement takes social mores, some male novelists remind readers of both genders that
there is still room for growth in the women’s movement and in western society. This is wonderfully
expressed in Alex Garland’s novel The Beach. At first glance, it seems like the female characters in
the novel are equal to the male characters; however, upon closer examination the idea of true equality
fades, much like the Eden-like setting of the beach. Sal is the leader; Cassie does not matter unless
men discuss her and her opinions; Francoise is a sex-object. Women are either menacing in their
roles, non-existent unless mentioned by men, or subservient to men’s sexual desires, thus women are
not equal to men in the novel.
SAMPLE INTRODUCTION LABELLED, JUST FOR GREATER CLARIFICATION
Hook
sentence
As much as things change, some things always stay the same. Regardless of how far the
women’s movement takes social mores, some male novelists remind readers of both genders that
there is still room for growth in the women’s movement and in western society. Alex Garland
showcases this unfortunate truth in his novel The Beach. At first glance, it seems like the female
Present
tense
The
sentences
following
the hook are
background
sentences
about the
essay topic
and the
novel. All
sentences
lead to the
THESIS!!!
characters in the novel are equal to the male characters; however, upon closer examination, the idea
of true equality fades, much like the Eden-like setting of the beach. Sal is the leader; Cassie does not
matter unless men discuss her and her opinions; Francoise is a sex-object. Women are either
menacing in their roles, non-existent unless mentioned by men, or subservient to men’s sexual
desires, thus women are not equal to men in the novel.
This particular thesis is written in the style that states your
three arguments in one sentence (you can state each
argument in a separate sentence if you wish) and then
includes an umbrella thesis statement. If you wish, you may
write a three-pronged thesis statement as found in the oval
on page two. You know yourself as a writer; choose which
style suits you best; also, create the statement that
communicates your ideas with the greatest clarity!
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
BODY OF THE ESSAY
The body of the essay is made up of three paragraphs. Each paragraph is written using the same
format. This is not brain surgery; all you have to do is plug in the sentences; honestly, it is simple and
straightforward. Please: DO NOT FORGET TRANSITIONS!!! The structure is as follows:
Topic Sentence: This is one sentence that states the main idea of your paragraph and refers to your
thesis. It is always the first sentence in your paragraph.
Point: The supporting argument you are going use to prove your main argument (what is written in
your topic sentence)
Proof: A quotation or example from the text
Analysis: Explains your how your example supports your point; and it must always relate back to
your thesis (what you are trying to prove in your essay.
NOTE: repeat this format a minimum of 2 x per paragraph (see below)
Concluding Sentence: Restate your main argument and summarize your supporting ideas
EXAMPLE OF A BODY PARAGRAPH
Topic Sentence Example: Although Francoise appears to be a carefree, independent woman,
travelling on her own in foreign countries, she merely serves the role of sex symbol in The Beach.
Sample Point Sentence: When Richard first sees Francoise, he does not even think of her as a
person, rather he focuses solely on her physical appearance.
Sample Proof/Quote: Richard states “The French girl appeared . . . Her legs were brown and slim,
her skirt short…We all watched her…We all saw the way she moved her hips to slide between the
tables, and the silver bracelets on her wrists. When her eyes glanced around the room we looked
away, and when she turned to the street we looked back” (Garland 13).
Analysis: From the moment the author introduces Francoise, it is to satisfy the male gaze. Her
beauty, although inescapable and unarguable, should not define her humanity.
Lead in to Sample Point 2: In fact, throughout the novel Francoise is the object of Richard’s
fantasies (THIS IS THE LEAD IN TO SAMPLE POINT 2)
SAMPLE POINT 2: Right from the beginning Richard imagines himself with Francoise.
Sample Proof/Quote: In his alternate universe he “leaned over and kissed Francoise” (Garland 75).
Analysis: Unfortunately, Richard often only thinks of her in terms of his fantasies, and in terms of
conquest, but Francoise is in fact much more than this and is in fact, the catalyst for them making it to
the beach.
Concluding Sentence: Francoise’s role in the novel is defined by Richard as she is seen as
a sex symbol there for the gratification of men – especially Richard.
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
BODY OF THE ESSAY: BODY PARAGRAPH SAMPLE
Although Francoise appears to be a carefree, independent woman, travelling on her own in
foreign countries, she merely serves the role of sex symbol in The Beach. When Richard first sees
Francoise, he does not even think of her as a person; he merely thinks of her in terms of how happy
she makes his libido, in terms of the aesthetically pleasing nature of her form “The French girl
appeared without her boyfriend and without any shoes. Her legs were brown and slim, her skirt
short…We all watched her…We all saw the way she moved her hips to slide between the tables, and
the silver bracelets on her wrists. When her eyes glanced around the room we looked away, and
when she turned to the street we looked back” (Garland 13). From the moment the author introduces
Francoise, it is to satisfy the male gaze. Her beauty, although inescapable and unarguable, should
not define her humanity. In fact, she acts as a catalyst, driving Richard and Etienne to make the
commitment to find Eden (the beach). Francoise’s insistence leads to the trip to Koh Samui, then to
the drop-off island and finally to the beach. After Etienne shares his knowledge of the map with her,
she acts as the force that drives the desire to go to the beach. “If Etienne was the one who turned the
idea of finding the beach into a possibility, it was Francoise who made it happen. The odd thing was,
she did it almost accidentally, simply be taking for granted that we were going to try” (Garland 27).
She is not a wilting flower; she does not focus only on her physical appearance. Clearly, she also has
an opinion and is willing to voice her opinion. In addition, she ably puts her ideas into action.
Unfortunately, Richard often only thinks of her in terms of his fantasies, and in terms of conquest.
Topic Sentence
Point
Proof/Quote
Analysis (ties back to thesis/
topic sentence)
The Body
Paragraph a la
the Pie Method;
papaya pie
anyone?
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
CONLCUSION
 When writing the first sentence of the conclusion, remember to re-word your thesis statement
 Re-list the points you made in the body of your essay; a sentence or two of summary for the
main points of the body
 Close with a final statement that makes it clear that what you have said is valid and leaves a
lasting impression.
SAMPLE CONCLUSION
In The Beach, women are appear equal, but upon further investigation, they are not equal to
the men in the novel. Sal ends up losing complete control of the island; the violence and physicality of
the men dominate her logic and reason. Cassie merely serves as a tool that supports the opinions of
the men in her inner circle; unfortunately, a disappointing reality in the novel. Francoise, the woman
who was the impetus for the trio finding the Eden-like commune, cannot escape her main function,
which is as the novel’s sex-symbol. Female characters in the novel just might represent Garland’s
personal struggle: are women equal to men, or, are women subservient to men? He appears to
struggle with the answer, which leads the reader to struggle as well; perhaps this is positive; thinking
before writing, acting or reading – definitely a positive!
SAMPLE CONCLUSION LABELLED, JUST FOR GREATER CLARIFICATION
Reword
Thesis
In The Beach, women appear equal, but upon further investigation, they are not equal to the
men in the novel. (SUMMARY OF FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH)
Sal ends up losing complete
control of the island; the violence and physicality of the men dominate her logic and reason.
(SUMMARY OF SECOND BODY PARAGRAPH)
Cassie merely serves as a tool that supports the
opinions of the men in her inner circle; unfortunately, a disappointing reality in the novel. (SUMMARY
OF THIRD BODY PARAGRAPH)
Francoise, the woman who was the impetus for the trio finding
the Eden-like commune, cannot escape her main function, which is as the novel’s sex-symbol.
(FINAL THOUGHTS) Female characters in the novel just might represent Garland’s personal
struggle: are women equal to men, or, are women subservient to men? He appears to struggle with
the answer, which leads the reader to struggle as well; perhaps this is positive; thinking before writing,
acting or reading – definitely a positive! (END WITH A BANG!!!)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Writing a Rough Copy
Now it is time to put all of the ideas mapped out in your outline together in
one cohesive paragraph.
PLEASE NOTE: ALL OF YOUR HANDOUTS HAVE SAMPLES OF EACH PART OF
THE ESSAY. USE THESE AS A REFERENCE.
FORMAT
•
The TOPIC SENTENCE should state your argument and refer to your thesis.
*Remember to transition smoothly from paragraphs 1-2 and 2-3 in your topic
sentences
•
SUPPORTING ARGUMENTS – should clearly support the main argument of your
paragraph as well as your thesis. This should be stated in one sentence or less
•
INTEGRATE QUOTATIONS
A few reminders:
- Select quotes that best support / illustrate your supporting arguments within the
paragraph
- Integrate quotations into your sentences; do not begin a sentence with a
quotation from the text
- Manipulate quotations to fit your argument by using part of a quote, omitting
unnecessary parts
- Avoid lengthy quotations
- Document all quotations by applying MLA format
*See notes from your assignment reference package*
•
ANALYSIS – reflecting on the quotation and its implications for your argument
-
Explain and analyze how the quote proves your supporting argument and thesis
Be insightful – add your own insights and ideas into character and theme as it relates
to the quote and argument
Secondary Source – one of the secondary sources could be incorporated into your
analysis as part of your insights * integrate these into your sentence*
•
CONCLUDING SENTENCE – should summarize your main arguments and restate your
argument
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
STYLE
•
Transitions- Use transitions to create unity and fluency in your paragraph – use
transitions between each part of your body paragraph topic sentence – supporting arguments
– quotes – analysis – next supporting argument etc. . . to concluding sentence (Avoid
superficial transitions such as “First”, “Second”, “Third” etc.)
•
Write your essay in present tense throughout (ex. “Charlie is a victim . . . )
•
Use formal English (ie. no slang, clichés, colloquialisms etc.)
•
Do not use contractions (ex. use “have not” instead of “haven’t”)
•
Do not use first person or personal pronouns (ex. “I think”, “me”, “you”, “we”)
•
Expand your vocabulary – use a thesaurus as a tool to help
•
Review common usage errors to avoid these in this and all future writing
How to Use Textual References
With each argument you make, it is important to include proof in the form of direct and indirect
quotations from the text. Below are models of how to incorporate direct and indirect quotations in your
writing.
Direct Quotation –
When including a direct quotation from the text, you must use quotation marks and indicate
the page number from which you took the reference.
Here is an example of how to use a direct quotation:
After Etienne shares his knowledge of the map with her, she acts as the force that drives the
desire to go to the beach. “If Etienne was the one who turned the idea of finding the beach into a
possibility, it was Francoise who made it happen. The odd thing was, she did it almost accidentally,
simply be taking for granted that we were going to try” (Garland 27).
Each quotation after the first one, because you are only using one text, must only have the
page number in the brackets; only put the name of the author after the first quotation.
*Note that the exact wording from the text has been used.*
Indirect Quotation –
When using an example from the text in your own words, it is still necessary to indicate where your
idea originated. State the page number after the example is used, but do not include quotation marks.
Here is an example of how to use an indirect quotation:
Etienne shares his knowledge of the map with her, however, Francoise’s drive turns following the map
into a reality (Garland 27).
*Note that the quotation marks are not used but the page reference is indicated in parentheses.*
The following is taken right from your Campion Assignment Guide – available
on the school website.
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Quotations
Quotations must reproduce the original source exactly. You must construct a clear, grammatically
correct sentence that allows you to introduce or incorporate a quotation smoothly and accurately.
Short quotations of 1 to 4 lines are put into quotation marks and included, double spaced, in the body
of the assignment. They are introduced by a comma (,) unless they are a continuation of a body
paragraph sentence; the appropriate punctuation, or none at all, is then used. Quotations are followed
by the page reference in parentheses (see below) and then the period.
Long quotations of more than 4 lines are set off from the body of the assignment by indenting them
10 spaces. Type the quotation double spaced, without using quotation marks. Do not indent the first
line more than the others unless you are quoting two or more paragraphs. A long quotation is
introduced by a colon (:) unless it forms a continuation of a body paragraph sentence; the appropriate
punctuation, or none at all, is then used. Long quotations are followed directly by a period, and then
the page reference in parentheses (see below).
Quotations of 4 or more lines are handled as long quotations. Be sure to reproduce the quotation
exactly, including line length, capital letters, and punctuation.
that Holden hates anything hypocritical. When he meets an adult, he is likely to say, “Strictly a
phony” (86). Few people, if any, come up to his standards. Only his old friend, Jane Gallagher,
gains his grudging approval:
She was a funny girl, old Jane. . . . She was always reading,
and she read very good books. She read a lot of poetry and all.
She was the only one, outside my family, that I ever showed
Allie’s baseball mitt to, with all the poems written on it. (77)
Jane is very special to earn Holden’s trust in this way. There is nothing . . .
If you leave anything out of a quotation, put in three spaced dots (an ellipsis . . . ) to show the
omission. Do not put ellipses at the beginning or end of the quotation unless the individual
sentence involved is incomplete. If you make any change in a quotation for clarity, put it in square
brackets (Johnston states, “[They] cannot rely on the current government.”)
Parenthetical Documentation
The page number of the quotation is placed in parentheses () at the end of the quotation. Do not use
short forms such as “p.”. If the author of the quotation is perfectly clear, put only the page number
(67). If the author is in unclear, especially when more than one source is quoted, put the author’s last
name and the page number, with no punctuation (Grisham 241). If there Several sentences were are
two books by the same author and the source is unclear, put a key word from the title, in italics, and
the page number (Grisham Chamber 134) or (Grisham Firm 88). Italics are now preferred over
underlining.
Works Cited
All Sources should be cited on the works cited page at the end of the assignment.

½ an inch down from the top of the page, on the right hand side (if you are looking at the
page) write your last name, add a space and include your page number

1 inch down from the top of the page and centred, write Works Cited

Then 1 inch in from the left margin, write the author’s name to begin your citation process
Grade 12 College English

For example:
Garland, Alex. The Beach. Toronto: Penguin Group, 1997. Print
FOR EXAMPLE:
Essay Writing Process
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Step # 1: Understanding the Question
Rewrite the question below:
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Paraphrase the question in your own words (to ensure you understand the
question asked)
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Identify and define key words in the question:
a) ______________________________________________________________
b) ______________________________________________________________
c) ______________________________________________________________
Step #2: Formulating an Opinion:
Now that you understand the question, you can work toward formulating a thesis
statement (statement of opinion that you will try to prove throughout your essay).
State your response to the topic question in one sentence.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Write a Thesis Statement:
Remember that this is the statement of opinion on the topic that you will try to prove
throughout your essay. It is therefore the most important part of your essay. It should
be narrow in focus, but not too specific. (*see note for example). Your thesis will
eventually be the last sentence in your introductory paragraph.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Step #3: Brainstorming Ideas
Once you have a thesis you begin brainstorming any arguments or ideas you can
think of to support your main idea (above). List as many as you can think of as you
can add or delete ideas later.
You may use a list format below, a web or any other means of brainstorming.
Arguments and ideas to support the thesis:
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Circle the best 3 – 4 arguments
Examples from the text:
Note that should try to find quotes and pages to help you with this.
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Step # 4: Organizing Your Ideas
Look at the previous brainstorming sheet. Choose the best 3 – 4 arguments that
support that would support your thesis and complete the chart below. (Note: These
will become the arguments for your body paragraphs).
Thesis: _____________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Main Argument
Supporting Ideas
1.




2.




3.




4.*optional*




Examples from the Text
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Introduction Outline:
General Opening Statement:___________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Harnessing Statement #1:_____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Harnessing Statement #2:_____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Harnessing Statement #3:_____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Thesis Statement:____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Argument #1:
_________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence:
Point #1:
Proof #1:
Analysis #1:
Point #2:
Proof #2:
Analysis #2:
Concluding
Sentence:
Rough Notes:
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Thesis Statement:
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Argument #2:
_________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence:
Point #1:
Proof #1:
Analysis #1:
Point #2:
Proof #2:
Analysis #2:
Concluding
Sentence:
Rough Notes:
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Thesis Statement:
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Argument #3:
_________________________________________________________________
Topic Sentence:
Point #1:
Proof #1:
Analysis #1:
Point #2:
Proof #2:
Analysis #2:
Concluding
Sentence:
Rough Notes:
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Conclusion Outline:
Reword Thesis:______________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Summarize main idea of Body Paragraph #1:_____________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Summarize main idea of Body Paragraph #2:_____________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Summarize main idea of Body Paragraph #3:_____________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
General Closing Statement:_____________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Essay Writing – MLA Formatting
MLA FORMATTING TIPS:






Double space
Times New Roman
12 pt. font
Margins = 1 inch on all sides
Indent the first line of paragraphs – use the tab key.
Create a header in the upper right hand corner, which includes your last name, followed
by a space with the page number (no comma needed)
 Italicize titles
FORMATTING THE FIRST PAGE OF YOUR PAPER
 Do not make a title page for your paper
 In the upper left hand corner list your name, your teacher’s name, the course code, and
the date you are submitting your paper (double space between each piece of
information)
 Double space again and centre the title
 Do not underline or italicize the title
 Double space between the title and the first sentence of your introduction
THE
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
BEACH ESSAY TOPICS – THE CHOICES
Select one of the following essay questions. Create a thesis statement and then, create an outline,
and finally, write that brilliant essay!
QUESTIONS:
1. The beach is initially a paradise; the paradise becomes hell. Using three important events that
the dwellers of the beach commune cannot overcome, explain how and why the beach
transforms from being Eden to Hell.
2. Human flaws make attaining paradise impossible. Analyze how three different characters
flaws lead to the destruction of Eden.
3. Mr. Duck is Richard’s conscience. Analyze how Richard battles the demons that keep him
trapped in the dream of the beach through Mr. Duck’s character.
4. The isolation of the beach from “the world” causes many of the characters to lose their
identities. With reference to three specific situations analyze how the beach has caused
Richard to lose his sense of morality.
LET’S IMAGINE, FOR EXAMPLE, THAT YOU CHOSE TO WRITE AN ESSAY FOR QUESTION #2.
YOU COULD POSSIBLY ORGANIZE THE BODY PARAGRAPHS AROUND HUMAN TRAITS THAT
MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO ATTAIN PARADISE.
IMMATURE
The beach lifestyle is appealing; seems free of responsibility like paying bills; videogames
Richard is obsessed with Vietnam; turns playing war games into a pseudo-reality
HEDONISTIC (PLEASURE SEEKING)
Marijuana, Marijuana, Marijuana
Phosphorescence; swimming
INHUMANE
Richard antagonizes Karl because he is tired of his gloomy presence on the beach
Sal tries to use Richard to kill just to maintain the secret of the commune and mutilation of
bodies at the end
NOW, LET’S “PLUG IN” ONE OF THESE POTENTIAL IDEAS INTO THE STYLE OF CHART
AVAILABLE TO YOU.
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
Thesis Statement: Immaturity, hedonism and inhumanity prevent the attainment of
an Eden-like society.
Argument #1: Immaturity prevents the realization of paradise in the novel.
Topic Sentence:
The inhabitants of the beach are so immature, they could never possess
the strength of character it takes to create a perfect society.
Point #1:

Beach lifestyle is appealing; one of greatest worries is having
batteries for videogames
Proof #1:

“No more rice means a Rice Run. Now we get some new
batteries.” (142)
Analysis #1:
 Richard is excited by the prospect of the mission
 One of the main reasons for this is that he can get some more


Point #2:
batteries as he is competing to beat Keaty’s records and his own
records (videogames)
He and Keaty are obsessed with playing certain games; major,
involved discussions take place about these games
Reveals a level of immaturity that is striking in young men in their
twenties; take the pretend world of video games so seriously and
yet do not connect to the real world from which their escaping

Richard is obsessed with Vietnam; he turns regular, run of the mill
moments on the island into something more thrilling and cinemalike

“Yeah, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil,
for my name is Richard. I was born in 1974.” (1)

His obsession with Vietnam leads to a greater disconnect from
reality, which prevents him from facing certain truths about his
character and his life
Since he cannot face these truths, and because he plays such a
major role on the beach, he extends his own immaturity shelf-life,
in addition to the immaturity self-lives of the others
Therefore, people continue to play with life versus actually living
life
Proof #2:
Analysis #2:


Concluding
Sentence:
The level of immaturity on the island, exhibited by the protagonist and
some of the other main characters, makes it possible for the hedonism
that infects the island to exist.
(concluding sentence and lead in to next paragraph)
Rough Notes:
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
POSSIBLE QUOTATIONS YOU MAY USE FOR YOUR ESSAYS:
“About a beach. This amazing beach hidden somewhere, but no one know where it is...It’s
paradise…Word of mouth passes on the location to a lucky few…It’s paradise…it’s Eden.” (58)
“After a little while you’ll see that this is a wonderful place, as long as you appreciate it for what it is.”
(98)
“When in Rome, do as the Romans.” (116)
“I quickly fell into a routine. I’d wake around seven…then head straight down to the beach with
Etienne and Keaty…Then we’d to back to the camp and rinse off in the shower hut.”
“I was looking for a split in the rock face that Gregorio had pointed ot a few days before. According to
him, the most spectacular of the coral gardens lay in the waters directly beneath it.” (123)
“When I sat back down I felt terrible. My good mood was completely gone. I couldn’t understand what
I’d said that was so wrong. All I’d been doing was joining in their conversation, which didn’t seem like
such a terrible thing to do. It was the beach and the world, I decided coldly. My beach, where you
could walk into a conversation at any time between anybody, and the world, where you couldn’t.”
(174)
“At first I found this attitude pretty frustration. I wanted to talk at length about how f---ed up Koh
Phangan was, and the frustration was compounded by the unenthusiastic response I got when I
handed out my little presents.” (189)
“Etienne nudged me. You do not like Bugs, huh?” (199)
“Gregorio and Etienne swam off to the coral gardens, and Francoise and I swam back to the beach to
sunbathe.” (202)
“We both lay back down on the hot sand. The mention of our parents was slightly disquieting and
neither of us wanted to dwell on the subject.” (203)
“But I did find it interesting that I wasn’t the only one to experience the amnesiac effect of the beach.”
(203)
“But you all fitted in so well. You really entered into the spirit of what we have here, better than we
could have hoped…You mustn’t think we didn’t appreciate you doing the Rice Run, Richard, and
catching that lovely shark.” (210)
“Eventually, Keaty’s obvious discomfort became intolerable. Sensing that the onus was on me, I
called over to him and suggested he join us.” (218)
“I suppose it may have had as much to do with my earlier conversation with Francoise as with the
subsequent unsettling events. The mention of parents had hovered in the back of my mind, reluctant
to fall under the beach’s amnesiac spell.” (219)
“But Jed didn’t appear to feel any pity for himself. When I suggested to him that it must have been
hard to face such a cold reaction, he shrugged and said he could understand it.” (230)
“I no longer had to struggle to maintain a calm appearance> In theory, perhaps then I should have
started to feel jealous of Keaty and sad about the lies. But I didn’t. I realized that I had been given
one less problem to worry about, because if I was the one creating the distance, then I had equal
power to remove it.” (234)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
“There was nothing strange about it. Jed and I were on a cover mission. We had binoculars, jungle, a
quarry, a threat, the hidden presence of AK-47s and slanted eyes. The only missing element was a
Doors soundtrack.” (235)
“You’re right…I haven’t smoked a joint since last night…Exactly…I’m saying dope’s got nothing to do
with it…That’s why you should watch yourself.” (240)
“Deep in the blackness the glow returned…phosphorescence…They glow when you make a
movement…amazing.” (248-249)
“Yeah…Speaking personally” – I took a deep breath – “I was kind of hoping Saddam wouldn’t back
down. You know, just ot see what would happen.” (252)
“But when I saw the pictures of the Basra road and that civilian shelter that got hit, I felt pretty bad. I
felt like I’d missed the point and only got it too late. Does that answer your questions.” (252)
“I don’t know, Richard. You get disappointed by all the wrong things.” (255)
“I’ve got to get this water to Francoise,” I said coldly, but didn’t move. “I said I’d only be two minutes.
I’ve already been longer.” Bugs opened his mouth, maybe to reply, and a slimy bubble of spit popped
over his lips. This time I did laugh. “look at yourself,” I heard myself say. “Who the f--- do you think’s
going to clean this mess up?” (265)
“I turned and saw Cassie staring at me. She looked very angry, but when our eyes met the anger
quickly changed to something else. Something like concern, I noted vacantly, or alarm.” (265)
“The only other disruption that night was the sound of someone crying nearby. I tried to make myself
getup and check on who it was, but it turned out I was too tired to care.” (270)
“My daydream came true not far from the field that Jed and I had visited the previous day. I’d chosen
to go there because it seemed logical that the best place to find a dope guard would be at a dope
field…” (279)
“I was shaken by a powerful surge of jealousy toward Jed. He’d had the DMZ for over a year, all to
himself…I felt like I’d been damned by a glimpse of paradise.” (282)
“I’m going to stick a spear in your f------neck!” I yelled back” (285)
“The stunned quiet after Karl said “shark” only lasted a heartbeat.” (288)
“I didn’t answer. I was transfixed by a chilling and beautiful sight, a slender comet cruising through the
blackness beneath my feet.”
“I sighed. Getting from one side of the clearing to the other had become like an eye-contact obstacle
course. It was true that the shark attack had diverted attention away from the flare-up in the
longhouse, but although an unspoken truce had been agreed, the tensions behind the incident were
still there.” (301)
“This, then was the politics involved in crossing the clearing, and we all had to deal with it to the same
degree.” (302)
“Now you may or may not know that tomorrow morning we’re going to be burying Sten. I want that
burial to mark the end of the tension so that some good can come out of this appalling tragedy.” (308)
“Keaty laughed in a way that told me he was stoned. “The perfect footprint, huh? Yeah, that’s getting
pretty close to insane. And more original than trying to draw the perfect circle.” (309)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
“Okay,” I replied uncomfortable. I’d obviously turned up in the middle of something, and I wasn’t at all
happy with the idea that my friends had been arguing. We had to stick together, even if Sal was going
to be calling for a truce tomorrow.” (310)
“Hi family. Etienne thinks we have to let them know what’s happened to their son. See, if we left them
both on the beach, then Karl would definitely be noticed and Sten’s and Sten’s family would be
contacted.” (311)
“No,” said Keaty. “He’ll talk, eventually. And when he does, I’d rather he did it to us. Not some
fucking Thai cop or Swedish shrink.” (311)
“I was awake because I had Francoise to mull over, but why was everyone else awake? It took me
another half hour to deduce that it had to be because they were fretting about Sten’s funeral.” (316)
“Second names felt connected to the world, maybe because they were a link to family and home, so
they were never used or asked. It’s a funny thought that if today – for some inexplicable reason – I
wanted to track down any of the people I once knew on the beach, I’d have no better clue to work from
than a nationality and a fading memory of a face.” (317)
“Okay,” she said. “So that’s it. I hope you all listened hard. For today, details as normal. Tomorrow
Keaty and Bugs leave for Koh Phangan.” (321)
“But this façade of geniality aside, it was also apparent that Sal’s speech had had its desired effect.
The mood was curiously upbeat, our walking pace fast. Already the funeral seemed as if it had been
consigned to the past. If it hadn’t been for Jed hurrying off to look after Christo, I could almost have
forgotten that the Swedes had been the main reason for the meeting by the waterfall.” (321)
“Yes, you do remind me of Daffy. Very much.” (322)
“Vietnam!” A great crowing grin spread across his features. “You said it! You wanted it! And now
these are the breaks! In country, losing your sh-- comes with the territory!” He whooped and slapped
his htight. “F--k it, man, you should be welcoming me! I’m the proof you made it! Rich, I am you lost
sh--! Viet-f-----‘-nam!” (324)
“By the end of that day, I was already feeling pretty comfortable with Mister Duck’s presence. And by
the end of the second, I realized I was quite pleased about it.” (325)
“Sure. At first I’d be kicking chairs around and swearing. But then I’d go out and buy some lighter fuel
and I’d drop them out of windows. And also I’d cut holes in the bodies and slide in a firecracker to
blow them up.” (328)
“There was nothing in the clearing to suggest we’d buried Sten that morning. The atmosphere was
more like a Sunday than a wake.” (330)
“Discovering that Zeph and Sammy were on their way left me a lot more anxious and a lot less excited
than I’d expected. I found this confusing, and was still trying to make sense of my reaction when I
arrived back at camp. Whereupon, immediately, I became even more confused.” (330)
“On my way across the clearing, I briefly debated who I should tell first about the raft, Jed or Sal.
Going by the book, it should have been Sal. But we didn’t have a book, so I went with my instincts
and told Jed.” (332)
“Not one person has come in all day. Can you believe it? Not one person,” Now he did turn to look at
me, and I frowned with concern when I saw his face.” (333)
“Jed didn’t even blink. “If they make it to the beach,” he said, “they’ll see Christo die. Everything here
will fall apart.” And that was all.” (336)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
“Karl wasn’t about to die. He was going to stick around indefinitely, a constant reminder of our
troubles, an albatross around our necks. This bothered me a great deal.” (340)
“Get sane, Karl. Do it in a hurry. Because Christo’s going to be dead soon.” (341)
“It means maybe I do not know you anymore, Richard. I recognize your face when you walk toward
me, but when you are close I recognize nothing in your eyes.” (343)
“Nothing was more important than making sure they didn’t arrive at camp until Christo was dead. After
that, we would work out whether to let them down or keep them out.” (348)
“By the way Sal was talking, I was sure she had a fallback plan that she wasn’t telling us.” (348)
“I don’t think I remember her asking my opinion about anything, unless it was to lead me into
something by making it seem like it was my idea. Come to think of it, I don’t remember her asking
anyone’s opinion. Not even Bugs’s.”
“Not that I’d want anyone thinking I was without pity for them. I didn’t want Zeph and Sammy on the
island and I knew it would be convenient if they were to disappear, but it didn’t have to be this way.”
(354)
“You don’t know that. And I ddn’t want the beating sh—to happen any more than you, so don’t get on
some f---ing moral high horse. We knew they might be caught. That was understood when we made
the decision to make no contact with them unless they got to the waterfall, so what do you want from
me?” (359)
“I’ve read about it enough times, seen it in enough films: the first day on your first tour, you’re
supposed to lose your shit in a contact. Later, more experiences, jaded, you are caught unawares
one day that death still has the capacity to appall you. It is something you dwell on, and through it you
gain strength.” (361)
“It was their decision to come here…They made a lot of noise in the jungle. It was their fault.” (363)
“The rafters are dead,” I said. “Christo will be dead within forty-eight hours. All our problems are over
except you. It’s time you got sane.” (364)
“Quickly I began to backtrack, not caring about this argument, just wanting to get away. “Yes
Etienne’s right. It may have been my fault. I could have frightened him – “
“No!” Sal interrupted sharply. “I’m afraid that Karl has become dangerous. This morning I also went
to see him, and he made a lunge at me, too.” (367)
“No need for that, Sal,” I replied immediately. Even in the context of a lie – and by now I was sure she
was lying – I felt extremely uncomfortable having her apologize to me. “I understand.” (368)
“There was no further discussion about Karl. As far as the others were concerned, I think they were all
aware that the calm since Sten’s funeral was in jeopardy, and that a huge exercise in denial was under
way.” (369)
“I don’t care about the beach anymore Richard.” (371)
“”It wouldn’t help nothing.” It doesn’t matter where I am. I’m still in this tent. I’ve been in this tent
since the day I got here, just like Christo. Just like Karl and Sten. The tent, the open sea, the DMZ.
Out of sight and out of…” (373)
“When the Swedes arrived and Daffy freaked…Daffy vanished…I really thought it would change…With
him gone, I thought it would change…But he was so sly…He came back…so sly…” (374)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
“I mean he gave them the map when he gave it to you.” (374)
“I sighed. “Then…you see Daffy when you see me…Not so much before…But now, yes.” Jed nodded
sadly. “Every time I see you…Every time…” (375)
“Living with death. Time limits on everything you enjoy. Sitting on a beautiful beach, waiting for a f--ing limit to come up. Affecting the way you look at the sand and the sunsets and the way you taste the
rice. Then moving on and waiting for it to happen all over again. For eleven years!” Mister Duck
shivered. “…Then to have that cancer lifted. To think you’ve found a cure…That’s what you can’t
imagine, Rich.” (376)
“Mister Duck shrugged. “No one. Stop looking for some big crime, Rich. You have to see, with these
places, with all these places, you can’t protect them. We thought you could, but we were wrong. I
realized it when Jed arrived. The word was out, somehow out, and after that it was just a matter of
time…not that I acted on it at first. I waited, hoping he was a one-off, I guess. But hten the Swedes
arrived and I knew for sure. Cancer back, no cure, malignant as f---…Terminal.” (378)
“Exactly.” Mister Duck beamed. “That was the beauty of it. You not knowing was Vietnam too. Not
knowing what was going on, not knowing when to give up, stuck in a struggle that was lost before it
started. It’s incredible really. It all works out.” (378)
“The only thing I could be sure of was that if Vietnam was heading for a bitter end, I was too. Past
that, I couldn’t be sure of anything.” (382)
“With a jolt, I realized the direction she was taking. She might have been a long way from delivering
the bottom line, but I suddenly understood exactly what it would be.” (384)
“Although her composure remained fixed, I could sense the level of calculation at which Sal’s mind
was working. With a chess player’s vacant gaze she was running through lists of responses, possible
responses to the responses, and beyond.” (384)
“Part of me was relieved that killing Karl was now an impossibility. I doubt I’d have killed him if he had
been in the caves…but I’m glad I never had the chance to find out.” (386)
“It was funny. My world was falling to pieces, everything in my life revolved around threat, and my
nerves were shot to sh--. “ (388)
“Everyone knew I did things for Sal. Everyone talked about it. They just didn’t talk about it in front of
me.” (389)
“The moment when Francoise strode away from Etienne, distancing herself from the liability that he’d
become…Id give a lot to know what she’d said to him later. But obviously it was enough for him to
realize that once Karl was out of the way, he might be next.” (390)
“Don’t worry,” I said. “Everything will be okay. We’re going to leave tonight.” (390)
“I was a fool. I was kidding myself. As the idea of leaving had come into my head, another idea had
sneaked inside with it. That maybe this was the way it could all end up. I could not have been more
wrong, but that was the way I was thinking. Full of hasty schemes and plans, and the f---ed-up
optimism that comes from desperation.” (391)
“Although the missing bag is my only evidence, I felt sure that Karl must have visited Christo before he
left. I liked that idea. Visiting his friend, taking his bag, stealing the boat. Cured, all right.” (401-402)
Grade 12 College English
Essay Writing Process
“I may have had a few screws loose, but I was able to recognize this as a nice moment. Watching the
four couples revolving around each other reminded me of the way things used to be on the beach.
Even Sal seemed at peace, all her plans and manipulations pushed aside for the time being, aware of
nothing more than straightforward affection for her lover.” (411-412)
“Yes…We did it Richard.” (416)
“At last I was able to see why everyone had turned into statues. Using Etienne and one of the
bamboo poles that supported the canopy of sheets, I hauled myself up to a standing position. The VC
hadn’t felt that beating me up was a severe enough warning. They’d left us with a reminder, just to
ram the point home.” (424)
“then he went over to the seating area and picked up one of Unhygienix’s stubby cooking knives.
Then he went over to Sammy and attacked him…He’d cut Sammy’s head off. Cut it off, and was
swinging it by the hair.” (425)
“Looking back, I know that we could have left at that moment…But we stayed put. We were transfixed
by the dissection of the rafters.>Every severed limb seemed to root me further to the spot.” (426)
“Richard?” one of them whispered. “Richard brought the people here?” (427)
“I looked around and saw Jed standing beside me. And beside him, Keaty, Etienne and Francoise.
The four carried fishing spears, points fanning outward…”You all keep back!” Jed yelled.” (430)
“Back in the city, the only thing left to do was to call home…we were all crying by the time we hung
up.” (434)
“I see Keaty and Jed all the time. Like the talking, it’s another thing you wouldn’t expect. BY rights we
should have drifted apart, unable to deal with our shared history. But we didn’t. We’re good friends.”
(435)
“I’m fine. I have bad dreams, but I never saw Mister Duck again. I play video games. I smoke a little
dope. I got my thousand-yard stare. I carry a lot of scars.” (436)