Meg
High
C'ville Pregnancy Center
(middle of high)
Jonathan
High
IBS/IBD
(middle-to-low of
high)
Ryan
Mid
Fraternity national
(high end of mid)
Katie
Mid
Burning wood: China & US
(middle of mid)
Daniel
Mid
4th-Year 5K
(middle of mid)
Clare
Mid
Asbestos Trust
(low end of mid)
Ben
low
(high end of low)
online gaming maps
Document well organized, but subheadings would aid skimming and review.
Heavy workload on 10/27. BTW, what does 10/22 add/drop date signify?
¶1: what resources specifically does UVa need & lack? ¶2: the proposed packet
and brochure are designed with recently diagnosed patients in mind; how
sizeable is the UVa population of recently diagnosed IBS/IBD sufferers? A
clearer analysis of the target audience would be useful. Schedule: 11/14 & 21
provide little room for error in a short timetable for drafting brochure.
Decent project and proposal. Note that allowing only 1 week for revising all of
the essays is risky. Might ask national for sample successful award applications
for review; alternatively, could check w/ IFC for models of similar award
applications. No point reinventing the wheel.
What is current status quo for trends & solutions in Chinese over-dependence on
firewood? What trends do you anticipate seeing? What solutions seem your
front-runners at this point?
The large question here, of course, is how does the proposed project "increase
[Chinese?] awareness of this predicament"? Given its likely readership and
circulation, what problem will the paper solve?
Great looking project; mid-level proposal. Dawn-of-time intro starts too far away
from the immediate problem of tweaking marketing campaign to boost
participation. Also, need clearer discussion of how his letters and communication
campaign will differ from last year's (What approaches does he suspect will
boost participation by 75%?) Also, which inherited documents will he simply
tweak, and which will he recast entirely? (Need a clearer sense of scale and
scope of writing to be done.) Well considered list of documents to be produced.
Great project; mid-level proposal. Reorganize how proposal presents problem
(esp. cut ¶s 1- 3, or move this deep background to appendix). Give detailed
schedule of ENWR 380 deliverables. For this sort of document, consider reader
testing. Also, should plan on reviewing style & organization of other trusts
before drafting her own. Who is her team? Use heads & subheads.
Cut first page (¶s 1-3). Could even cut ¶ 4. Need clearer sense of scope of
writing/editing tasks student is proposing. Need clearer schedule of weekly
ENWR 380 deliverables. Cut dawn-of-time intro. Headings and subheads would
be useful (esp. in proposal's current form). Should review back issues of
Communications of the ACM and analyze syntax, structure, and level of
technical difficulty.
Abby
low
economic anthropology
(high end of low)
Julia
low
(middle of low)
narratives of urban poor
Projects might be fine, but proposal gives us too few details about proposed
essays. For each essay, what is current status quo and Abby's response? What is
the "theoretical approach" to be applied in paper #2? How (and by whom) are the
theories of Marx & Wallerstein currently applied to problems in archeological
interpretation? Proposal doesn't need all of the detail of a grant application, but it
ought to give clearer sense of scholarly approach. Also, need clearer sense of
weekly ENWR 380 deliverables.
basic literature review would be handy to help Julia get a handle on what
magazine's readers are likely to assume/know about urban poor. 10/13-11/3
schedule is very tight timeline for high quality article from relatively novice
writer. Proposal would be much stronger if it provided a specific account of how
proposed article's basic themes would speak to a particular magazine's
readership. What are readers ready to hear? What themes has magazine pursued
in past issues, and how does proposed article build on those themes or (gently)
push them in new directions? Also, is primary focus of article the stories of
individual citizens, or is it on the author's own raised consciousness? (Either
focus is fine, if appropriate to the target magazine; however, proposal ought to be
clearer about exactly what author is proposing.)
Gang: Based on a quick read, here are some comments on first batch of proposals we saw in 10/2 staff meeting.