More Practice Revising Unclear Sentences
Revise the following sentences, eliminating as many nominalizations as you can (by turning
nouns into verbs/actions) and making sure the main character is the subject of the sentence (the
doer of the sentence’s main actions):
1) There has been an affirmative decision on the behalf of Congress in regard to termination of
the program.
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This sentence is from an ENWR 110 paper. It is discussing the scene in “Almost Famous” when
Stillwater’s plane almost crashes:
2) With sudden outbursts we learn of love affairs, jealousies, lies, and secrets that existed
between the members.
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3) In America today, innovation on the part of industry is a crucial component in its
survivability.
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This sentence is from a letter that is describing a defect in a certain model of car:
4) In certain circumstances, occurrence of either of the above conditions could result in vehicle
crash without prior warning.
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