Writer’s name:__________________________________
Object Description Essay
Peer Reviewer: ___________________________________
Organization:
A. The opening lines (circle all that apply)
restates the question/topic begins a story includes vivid imagery appeals to the emotions
B. The closing (circle all that apply)
states/tells the object’s significance
shows the objects significance
vivid imagery concludes a story appeals to the emotions connects to the opening
includes
C. Describe how the body of the essay is arranged or organized:
______________________________________________________________________________
Content:
A. On the essay, underline the words/phrases that describe the object
The three most vivid or precise words used_________________________________________
Circle all that apply
-Overall: gives a generic description (object similar to those that are like it) describes its distinguishing flaws and features
-Describes: color size weight texture smell taste sound other:____________
-Compares it figuratively using: simile metaphor personification
-Ask two questions or write two suggestions that can help the writer improve his description of the
object.
B. What memories or people are attached to the object?
_____________________________________________________________________________
The three most vivid or precise words used_________________________________________
Circle all that apply:
-Overall: gives basic description of events/people recreates event/ presents a round character
-Feeling about memory: are stated are implied are not fully clear
-Ask two questions or write two suggestions that can help the writer add more detail to the
memories connected to the object.
REVISIONS
CONTENT—As you ask yourself these questions, make adjustments to your content. Look at the
peer review comments to guide you.
1. Did I describe the object’s distinguishing flaws and features? If not, add detail that shows
how your object is different than others like it (What makes your object yours—how could you
identify it if it was placed next to others like it?)
2. Did I use as many senses as possible? Consider the senses you did not use, and add details
that evoke those senses in your reader.
3. Did I recreate the memories attached to the object? Others do not know the people and they
have not experienced the exact scenarios. Can you help them really understand the
people/memories as you know or have experienced them?
4. Have I implied my feelings toward the object and memories? If you have used statements
such as “the trophy means a lot to me” or “I respect my grandmother,” then try to show those
feelings instead (ex: I’ll keep it on my dresser so I can see it every day. or In my eyes, my
grandmother’s opinion is second to only God’s.)
Write a few specific sentences describing what you did to improve your content:
ORGANIZATION--DO one or more…
1. Change your title so that it is more creative or clever ( My Fishing Rod=Reeling in
Memories)
2. Revise your last sentence so that it ends your essay with emotion or cleverness or
reconnects to your opening (circular arrangement)
3. Revise your first sentence so it intrigues the reader and captures his attention (I’ll never
forget when I got my first skateboard= I still remember the sight of the oblong present
sloppily wrapped in balloon-covered wrapping paper.)
Which did you choose and why:
STYLE--DO ALL (underline them on the paper)
1. Revise or add two VERBS to make them stronger and more precise (wrote= scrawled)
2. Revise or insert two unique and appropriate ADJECTIVES (small=pint-sized)
3. Change the order of a sentence so it begins with the description instead of the subject
(The hammer is the weight of a bread loaf and is too light to use to pull floorboard nails.
= The weight of a bread loaf, the hammer is too light to pull floorboard nails.)