Essay by:_____________________________ Peer reviewer:______________________
Character and trait:___________________________________________
1. Using four different colors, underline the different SHOWING methods used in the draft
 Appearance (what person looks like: facial expressions, body language, dress, style)
 Actions (what person DOES)
 Speech (must use dialogue!) (what person says/how person speaks)
 Other people’s reactions
Which method was used most successfully in conveying the person’s trait?
Which methods should be used more or better?
2. Proofread for inappropriately punctuated dialogue, run-on sentences, sentence fragments, misused/misspelled
words (there, then, to, its, your). Note the errors on your peer’s paper. If you have questions, ASK!
3. What has the writer done well? Be specific.
4. Two specific ways to improve this paper……..
Essay by:_____________________________ Peer reviewer:______________________
Character and trait:___________________________________________
1. Using four different colors, underline the different SHOWING methods used in the draft
 Appearance (what person looks like: facial expressions, body language, dress, style)
 Actions (what person DOES)
 Speech (must use dialogue!) (what person says/how person speaks)
 Other people’s reactions
Which method was used most successfully in conveying the person’s trait?
Which methods should be used more or better?
2. Proofread for inappropriately punctuated dialogue, run-on sentences, sentence fragments, misused/misspelled
words (there, then, to, its, your). Note the errors on your peer’s paper. If you have questions, ASK!
3. What has the writer done well? Be specific.
4. Two specific ways to improve this paper……..
Descriptive Essay #2: Show, don’t tell
Revisions
Name:_____________________________________
Step one:


Correct any grammatical mistakes and make changes suggested by peer.
Add/improve one of the show, don’t tell methods to convey your character’s trait.
Step two:





Complete THREE of the five. Put the changes in BOLD font. Check your choices
Add an example of figurative language to describe your character (simile or metaphor):
(ex: Nana’s hair was so disheveled it looked as if she had been in a windstorm that morning.)
Add or improve the dialogue—make it more realistic, vary the speech tags (said, shouted, whispered, explained,
exclaimed…)
Improve your diction: change four bland, ordinary words into vivid, exciting words.
Vary your sentence beginnings (look at the first word of each sentence: revise any sentences that begin with the
same word).
Revise the first and/or last sentences to make them catchy and memorable.
Final draft due Wednesday. Make sure you include an appropriate heading and title.
Order of papers: (Top) final draft, revision sheet, first draft, peer review
Descriptive Essay #2: Show, don’t tell
Revisions
Name:_____________________________________
Step one:


Correct any grammatical mistakes and make changes suggested by peer.
Add/improve one of the show, don’t tell methods to convey your character’s trait.
Step two:





Complete THREE of the five. Put the changes in BOLD font. Check your choices
Add an example of figurative language to describe your character (simile or metaphor):
(ex: Nana’s hair was so disheveled it looked as if she had been in a windstorm that morning.)
Add or improve the dialogue—make it more realistic, vary the speech tags (said, shouted, whispered, explained,
exclaimed…)
Improve your diction: change four bland, ordinary words into vivid, exciting words.
Vary your sentence beginnings (look at the first word of each sentence: revise any sentences that begin with the
same word).
Revise the first and/or last sentences to make them catchy and memorable.
Final draft due Wednesday. Make sure you include an appropriate heading and title.
Order of papers: (Top) final draft, revision sheet, first draft, peer review