How to get along with your teammates no matter what!
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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So, you are a new team and everyone is
getting to know one another’s strengths and
weaknesses. You are a great communicator
and your partners all have great talents that
complement one another. But one thing is
missing.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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What if your only weakness is not knowing
how to compromise? You say you do, as long
as everyone agrees with you. But the best
ideas are usually the ones that everyone said
wouldn’t work.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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Quote from NCR CEO Thomas Watson about
personal computers:
"I think there is a world market for maybe five
computers".
(He is well known for his 1943 statement)
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

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How do you overcome this weak point in
yourself and make your team stronger in the
bargain?
Let’s look at a video discussion:
www.teachertube.com
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

What are the benefits of effective
confrontation?
 Take control of ourselves.
 Avoid being the victim.
 No emotional baggage buildup.
 Positive relationship investment.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

What are the negative aspects of avoidance
or ineffective confrontation?
 Not in control of our life.
 Increases stress.
 Emotional baggage is created and carried.
 Become resentful or detached towards the
other person.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

What are the characteristics of ineffective
confrontation?
 Expression of emotions like anger.
 Using “blaming.”
 Describing the undesirable behavior.
 Describing the negative actions that are
caused by the undesirable behavior.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

What are the characteristics of effective
confrontation?
 No excess emotional baggage (calm,
respectful, rational).
 Requests the desired behavior.
 Positive consequences described.
 Uses “I” messages avoiding “blaming
others.”
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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Share your expectations
 If you don’t tell the person specifically what you
want, they don’t know what you want.
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Perceive the other person’s response
 Are you getting a “yes” or “no”?

Deal with the other person’s response
 Deal with the reaction in a way that does not
cause conflict, loss of control, or emotional
pain.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.

Share your expectations
 Tell others specifically what you want
 Use respect, empathy, be honest and genuine
▪ Use specific words such as: Cooperative, supportive,
timely, positive attitude, committed and dedicated.
▪ While expressing your expectations, use respectful
tones. Show empathy for the situation. “So you’re
frustrated because you have been trying hard and I don’t
seem to understand that.”
▪ No hidden agenda
▪ Be authentic
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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Perceive the response
 Understand whether you’re getting a clear yes or
no
▪ If I’m not getting a clear “yes”, it is a “no” at this time.
▪ Smokescreens
▪ Verbal
 If I can. I’ll get back to you. When I get around to it. Perhaps.
▪ Emotional
 They are working on a Fight/Flight response to prevent you
from thinking clearly and calmly. Don’t give in to this tactic.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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Deal with the response.
 Get a commitment to a verbal “yes.”
▪ If a “Yes”, develop an action plan.
▪ Develop a W4
Who, What When Where and How the task
will be accomplished. Express in terms of the
urgency of the task and the timetable
involved.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
▪ If a “No”, walk away and accept it.
▪ Or up the level of control in Influencing Process
 Personal Power
 “I would appreciate it as a personal favor if you would complete
this job today.”
 Position Power
 “I didn’t want to break it to you, but as your team leader, this task
needs to be finished by 3 p.m. or I need to know in detail why it
was not completed.”
•
Have effective options, if you get a “No”, to influence the response
toward a “Yes.”
▪ Positive Influence increases the trust and lowers the
defensiveness.
▪ Negative Influence decreases the trust and increases the
defensive posture.
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.
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The last “No” strategy is the negotiation:
 State the wants.
 Understand the other person’s request.
 Work towards a resolution that is a win-win.
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These are the 3 most effective means of using
your brain to resolve the situation and not
blindly react. (Cortex: Dinosaur reactions)
Copyright © Texas Education Agency, 2012. All rights reserved.