Relationships, Sexual Health and
Parenthood Learning Day
27th October 2010
Stirling Management Centre
Descriptor
This will be an interactive workshop focusing
on emerging practice in one primary
school embarking on teaching parenting
skills to pupils. We’ll be looking at the why,
what and how, to give practical ideas on
how to take this area of the curriculum
forward!
WHY
research
(e.g. Wave Trust)
our own experience
impact on learning and teaching
Causes of violence:
Deepest roots lie in the family
International studies trace roots of violence to:
 parental competence and family control methods
(e.g. McCord)

poor parental child rearing
(e.g. Farrington)

unskilled parenting
(e.g. Capaldi and Clark; Kazdin, Loeber, Dishion; Rutter & Giller)

harsh parental discipline
(e.g. Patterson)

power-assertive punishment
(e.g. Cohen)
Understanding the infant brain
Critical Windows

Critical windows of time during which brain hones particular
skills or functions

Size of window different for different skills

If the chance to practise a skill is missed during the window, a
child may never learn it (or be impaired)
Keys: Attunement and Empathy

Empathy the single greatest inhibitor of propensity to violence

Established early by observation of parental reaction to suffering

Babies show empathy by one year old. Not all develop this

Abused toddlers react negatively or aggressively to signs of
distress
Early Prevention works

MacLeod and Nelson studied 56 programmes designed to
promote family wellness and prevent child maltreatment
 Most
 The
interventions are successful
earlier the intervention the better
 Prevention
(proactive) had greater effect sizes at
follow-up
 Reactive
interventions tend to fade over time,
relapse common
Early Prevention works
ROOTS OF EMPATHY
Canadian school-based parenting programme





Goal: to break inter-generational cycle of
violence and poor parenting
Develop empathy and pro-social behaviour
Reduce bullying, violence and aggression
Prepare children for responsive and responsible parenting
Strong focus on abuse prevention
One of Wave’s
Recommendations

Every child should leave school trained in non-violent
parenting and attunement with babies
MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME
TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to
you...Don't talk back to me!"
HUMOUR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"
WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."
ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."
RECEIVING..."You are going to get it when we get home."
JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then
you'll see what it's like!"
A TEENAGER IS...
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three streets away but not his
mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for
her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to
dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs
mowing.
EXPERT TUITION
An educational psychologist and her experience on a plane.
On a flight to Glasgow, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I
conduct as an educational psychologist.
The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Glasgow after
having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten greatgrandchildren in Inverness.
Then she inquired what I did for a living.
I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice.
Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know,
just ask me."
me when a woman needs to stop thi
Your children need your
presence more than your
presents. ~Jesse
Jackson
Too often we give children
answers to remember rather
than problems to
solve. ~Roger Lewin
There are two lasting
bequests we can give our
children. One is roots. The
other is wings. ~Hodding
Carter, Jr.
What a child doesn't receive
he can seldom later
give. ~P.D. James, Time to
Be in Earnest
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my
eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more
stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise
Over Again"