METAMORPHOSES
THALIA PANDIRI
Some Thoughts on Yannis Ritsos, PETRIFIED TIME, translated by Martin McKinsey and Scott King
Poet Dale Jacobson is very familiar with Ritsos’ work in translation. He agreed to review Petrified Time although he does not know
Greek, with the understanding that I would add some observations to
his review, as a reader of Greek. Rather than invading his review, I have
chosen to append a few comments.
McKinsey and King are translators deserving of absolute trust. I
don’t know Scott King’s work, but for many years I have admired McKinsey as an outstanding translator of Greek poetry. The translations in
this volume are precise and virtually “word for word” accurate. At they
same time they can stand alone as poems in English. What the translators have accomplished is no modest feat: Ritsos’ language is deceptively
straightforward, dancing on the brink of prose but never falling, and one
misstep can hurl a translator into abysmal flatness. Ritsos has an unerring ear for colloquial speech, which he reproduces faithfully and in a way
that brings out the rhythms and the poetic imagery in the unpretentious,
everyday language of the men toiling in the quarries. Translators need an
ear for the speech rhythms and register of both the Greek and of English; fortunately, McKinsey and King have perfect pitch.
I’ll give a few examples of where very minor changes from a literal
translation capture the essence of the Greek; one has the sense that this is
just what Ritsos himself would have written, were he writing in English.
1.
ƗƈƔƚƈ (ALWAYS)
ƗнƬƷƠ›·ƲƠƠƬƲрƱƩƦƬƠ›ƤƯƬӮƬƤƲƠƫ›ƮƳƪƮхƩƨƠƲԙƬнƱƲƯƷƬ
Ʃн›ƮƲƤƩƮƳƯƠƱƫоƬƠƩн›ƮƲƤ›ƨƩƯƠƫоƬƠƷƱƲфƱƮƱрƢƮƳƯƠ
ƢƨƠƲƮƣƯфƫƮƲƮƳưƢƨнƲƮƣƯфƫƮƫƠư. [p. 16, second stanza]
[literal translation:
Always over the tents the crowds of stars pass
sometimes tired, sometimes bitter, yet certain
about their road, about our road]
McKinsey and King [p.17]:
The stars crowd past beyond the tents
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exhausted one night, bitter the next.
but never uncertain of their road--or ours.
2.
From DICK, a moving eulogy for a dog who was a companion in
the struggle to survive and overcome oppression:
ƌѹƲƠƬƩƠƪҳưфƔƲрƩ [lit: Dick was good] becomes “Dick, you
were the best dog,” conveying the emotion in the Greek with much
greater fidelity and accuracy than a strictly literal translation.
3. ƖƐƘƐƍƌƙƚƖƛƑƖƙƓƖƛ/ THE ROOTS OF THE WORLD
ƋƨƶнƱƠƫƤ›Ʈƪх
ƗƮƪх›ƤƨƬнƱƠƫƤ
ƗƮƪх›ƮƬоƱƠƫƤ [p.24]
In the Greek the adverb “much” (poly) follows the verb “suffered-thirst”
in the first line, but precedes the verbs (“suffered-hunger” and “sufferedpain”) in the second and third lines of the stanza. The rhythm of these
simple lines and their musicality depend on the placement of that simple
adverb. Here is what McKinsey and Scott do, which strikes me as absolutely right:
“Unbearable thirst, unbearable hunger and pain.” [p.25]
4.
ƚƈƗƈƐƋƐƈƓƈƙ
ƌѹƬƠƨƴƨƪфƲƨƫƠ›Ơƨƣƨн
ƕоƯƮƳƬƤƲрƧƠ›ƤԃчƢқƬƠưƲрƧҫ›ƤԃƩƠƧӸƩƮƬƕƤƯƮƩоƴƠƪƮƨ.
ƋҭƬƩнƬƮƳƬƲƯрƵƠ›рƱƷƠ›ҳƲҳƵƯоƮưƲƮƳư. [p.62]
OUR BOYS
They are strong-spirited, these boys.
They know the meaning of “struggle,” the meaning of “duty.”
Headstrong. They don’t do less than their duty. [p.63]
I would like to call attention to the addition of “these” which is lacking
in the Greek but which is spot on in English, and the moving of “headstrong” from the end of the second line to the beginning of the first. This
seemingly insignificant change makes all the difference, giving us Eng-
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lish poetry worthy of the Greek, faithful--to use a term much maligned
by translation theorists--to both sense and music.
Petrified Time is a delight both for Greekless readers, who can
place their trust confidently in these translations, and to those who can
read both the Greek and the facing English, appreciating the craft of
these translators and not, as so often happens, mentally cataloguing all
the ways the English versions disappoint.
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