Leadership Lessons 2012
Leadership Challenges
“We can’t expect to solve our problems if all we do is tear each other down.”
~ President Barack Obama – University of Michigan Spring Commencement 2010
Agreeing to Disagree
When President Barack Obama delivered the commencement speech to the 2010 graduating class at the
University of Michigan, the message he shared with
young people entering the “real world” is applicable to all
student leaders, too.
President Obama focused much of his commencement message on the differences and disagreements that
are inevitable in our diverse world.
Leaders often find themselves in positions of disagreement. We are all entitled to our opinions; however
that often means that we are going to face times when
our ideas don’t quite match those of others. This can lead
to conflict, which can be a positive part of the leadership
process – when managed well.
This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone,
on everything, all the time. It just means that you need to
intentionally determine ways you can respect those with
whom you may disagree.
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Treat others as you would like to be treated. It is a
basic and simple rule, but often hard to stick to in the
heat of a passionate debate.
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Make it safe to voice a different opinion. Invite
feedback via email, a phone call or at the start
of each meeting. Recognize those who are brave
enough to express a different perspective.
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Stick to the facts, Jack! President Obama quoted
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan in addressing this
point: “Everybody is entitled to his own opinion, but
not his own facts.”
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Wait before you respond to a disagreement. Take
a breath and give yourself time to think through your
response, a possible solution to the conflict, and
ensure an effective and civil response. This is not a
time to hurry to “win” the argument.
Leadership Reflection…
Adapting some of President Obama’s talking points,
consider these “rules” of how to successfully agree to
disagree:
Triggers
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Be open to conflict and disagreement. Model for
others the value in healthy debate and the sharing of
different points of view.
Disagreements often become conflicts when
a “trigger” – something that just gets your blood
boiling or hits a nerve – is hit.
◊
Ask for what you may not want to hear. Welcome
different opinions and ideas. Display a desire to hear
“another side” to every story.
•
What are your triggers?
•
Listen and learn from opposing views. President
Obama suggested that graduates glean valuable
information from reading or listening to an opposing
news source. You never know, it just might enhance
your own beliefs.
How can you move past them or through
them when they arise in a debate?
•
Determine specific ways you can take the
“emotion” out of the discussion when these
triggers hit and stick to the bigger picture of
the discussion at hand.
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