SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL
DEVELOPMENT OF THE
PRESCHOOLER
Final/Test – Wednesday
You need to complete work from Friday!
Respect (a sheet of paper write the following)

On a practical level respect includes taking
someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes
and preferences into consideration. It means taking
all of these seriously and giving them worth and
value. In fact, giving someone respect seems similar
to valuing them and their thoughts, feelings, etc. It
also includes acknowledging them, listening to them,
being truthful with them, and accepting their
individuality.
Taking the Initiative




Becoming more independent
Improved abilities
Limitless energy
Strong desire to learn and explore
Erikson – Initiative vs. Guilt

Initiative = The ability to think or act without being
urged.
 Developing
initiative is important because it sets the
stage for ambitions later in life.
 Yet, initiative can lead to failures. Too many failures can
lead to guilt.


Guilt = Blaming yourself for something done wrong.
SO… caregivers need to make sure children know
that it is OK to make mistakes!
Showing Responsibility



First step toward independence
Adults should show examples
Select age-appropriate tasks
 What
are some chores that would be appropriate for a
preschooler?
Emotional Patterns


Increased need – independence
Many will venture out of the home environment for
the first time
 Preschool,
Headstart, kindergarten
 Unfamiliar


adults, large group of kids
Each child responds differently
Certain milestones
Ages

Summarize the general emotional patterns of the
different ages (4, 5 & 6).
 459
– 461
Four Years




Most still self-centered
Defiant, impatient, loud & boastful
Might argue & be bossy (kids & adults)
Other times = loving & affectionate


Want to see self as separate from parent/caregiver


Need & seek approval of parents & caregivers
Want to do things for their self (independence)
Vocabulary & language skills – improve
Test sounds of language
 Rude words – test adult reaction

Four Years

Active Imagination
 Rich


fantasy life
Mind cannot separate fantasy from reality
Active imagination + fantasy = FEARS
 Caregivers
– acknowledge fears & talk about them
Five Years




View self as a whole person (mind, body & feelings)
Eager to explore, however they will experience fear
of unfamiliar people, places & experiences
May experience anxiety or stress about the
strangeness of school & unfamiliar routines
Important to help them cope – listening to
concerns, offer love & support
Five Years

Emotionally Impulse
 Wander
 School


around, talk, play – whenever they want
– must sit still, listen & focus
Start to learn to control their impulses
Feel more empathy for others (understand how
someone else feels)
 Better
able to play together
 Able to see another person’s point of view
Six Years






Emotional turmoil – state of extreme confusion or
agitation
Find role outside of the home
Long to feel grown up – small & dependent
Stubborn & quarrelsome
Center of the own universe
Please others to win praise for self


Behavior horrible for parents
Rapid mood changes

Stronger feelings of happiness & joy

Appreciation of more activities

Nice time to start activities
Emotions



As Children grow – better able to recognize &
express a variety of emotions
Growing feeling of competence – master various
activities – helps control their emotions
Continue to experience fear – however nature of
those fear change
Anger

Think back to when you were younger, how did you
express your anger?? Has it changed?? Why??
Anger and Aggression





Anger – Expression changes the most during early
childhood
Anger and Aggression being around 10 months of
age. They peak with displays of temper in the
toddler years and continue in the preschool years.
Preschoolers tend to hit and bite less than toddlers.
Yet they tend to threaten and yell more!
Boys are more physical and girls are more verbal
even in the preschool stage!
Anger & Ages

Four years

 episodes
last longer
 Use physical violence
 Threaten & attempt to
get even
Five years
 More
likely to hurt
other children’s feeling
than hurt them
physically

Six Years
 More
hurtful with
words
 Tease, nag & make fun
Anger








Frustration – major cause of anger
Child’s tolerance for frustration increases as they grow
Former frustrations – eliminated
By 6, better social skills = deal with situations that lead
to anger
Disagreements with other kids – common cause
Use scapegoats
Criticism – another source
Scold a child for doing something wrong – child will try
to punish parent by breaking another rule
Anger

Varies greatly in children
 Children

tend to imitate the behavior of adults
Caregivers – express anger in appropriate ways
 Page
407. Analyze
Fear

Imagination – major emotional force
 Ghosts,
monsters
 Dark, being left alone, abandoned, thunder, lightning,
school
How can Caregivers help??

Accept the fear
 Listen,
saying you understand- great help
 Never say that fear does not exist, it DOES to the
CHILD

Let the child express fear without ridicule
 Fear
being made fun of
 May not open up

Help the child feel able to face the fear
 Talking
& act help
 Reading a book
Fear


Sometimes, fears are justified.
Action must be taken
 Bully
at school
Jealousy





Sibling rivalry – common
Caregivers – unintentionally make the problem
worse
May try to improve behavior by comparing
Damage a child’s self-esteem & undermine family
relationships
Express feelings by:
 Tattling
 Criticizing
 Lying
Caregivers




Encourage cooperation & empathy
Avoid taking sides
Give children a change to work through their own
problems
Sibling rivalry tends to fade
Worry


Children worry
Tension – emotional stress
 Fire
in home
 Stranger taking them
 Bully in the neighborhood
 Active imagination
Worry

Emotional strain & Physical symptoms
 Stomachaches,


headaches, and sleeping difficulties
Cry, scream or throw tantrums
Bite nails, swing legs or grind teeth
Ways to reduce worry & tension

Look for the cause

 Ask
them to draw a
picture

Give children time to
calm down
 Time
Provide chances to get
rid of tension
 Physical
way of
releasing stress

out

Read a book about
the issue causing stress
Maintain normal limits
on behavior
 Do
not ease up on
limits
At your table,

Create a list of issues and situations that might
cause stress in children 4-6.
Questions???



What is self-confidence??
How can you build a child’s self-confidence?
Who is more physical in expressing violence
Self-Confidence





New skills & dealing with unfamiliar situations =
increased self-confidence
Self-confidence – belief in one’s own abilities
Start taking the initiative & making decisions on
their own
Erikson – encouragement = self-confidence
Repeated discouragement/punishment = feelings of
inferiority or inadequacy
Self-Confidence




Provide opportunities for preschoolers to perform
well
Internal satisfaction goes farther than praise
Self-esteem will help develop self-control
See world in terms of all or nothing
 How
will this hinder their self-esteem??
Self-Confidence

All or nothing
 Projects
– does not go their way = “I can’t do anything
right”
 Self-esteem

& self-confidence = lowered
Important – children experience more successes than
failures
Self-Confidence

Show Respect
Offer choices
 “Because I said so” – not effective


Give Praise & Encouragement


Good Job, I appreciate that
Plan Actives
Challenging, but not overwhelming
 Children need down time


Encourage Individuality

Opportunities
Write a dialogue

Between a parent and child in which the parent is
encouraging the child.
 Write
an effective dialogue, one with a purpose, use
appropriate language and quotation marks.
 Make sure it reflects the age, personality and
background of each person.
Causes of Anger and Aggression

Preschoolers use aggression to
 Get
their way
 Hurt another
 Gain attention
 Gain affection
Fear and Anxiety

Some toddler fears fade away and preschoolers
develop new fears, some increase.
 Fear
of the unknown
 Monsters,
 Fear
Robbers
of physical injury
 Fear
of death by fire, auto accident, drowning, the fear of
bites from insects or animals
 Fear
of pain caused by medical and dental work
 Anxiety of a general nature
 Fear
of a tornado may spread to thunderstorms and high
winds
Feeling and Controlling Emotions


Preschoolers still react to common childlike stressors
(situations that cause stress)
These may include:
 Illness
 Moving
 Death
 Adult
quarrels
 Divorce
Feeling and Controlling Emotions



Controlling outward signs of emotions such crying,
screaming and hitting to help children become
socially acceptable!
However, if children control emotions without
admitting their underlying feelings to themselves
and others, they may become emotionally troubled.
Children need to express themselves!
 “I
am angry.”
 “I am afraid.”
Dependency

Preschoolers feel a conflict between their need for
dependence and independence!
 Sometimes
preschoolers ask for help and they really do
need it and other times they ask for help even when
they don’t! 

Emotional Dependence: The act of seeking
attention, approval, comfort and contact.
Social & Moral Development

With your knowledge of a preschooler’s emotional
development, what problems might occur when
preschoolers play in a group??
General Social Patterns

As children enter preschool and kindergarten they
must learn three important social skills
 How
to interact with new people
 How to make friends
 How to work & play in organized groups


Learn to take direction & accept authority from
others outside the home
Determine right and wrong – act accordingly
How do you think social development will
differ at the different ages: 4, 5 & 6
Four Years







Form friendships with playmates
Engage in cooperative play
Play in groups of 3-4
Share toys, take turns
Often bossy & inconsiderate – fights
Family is still more important
Seek approval, “I’m good at drawing pictures,
aren’t I?
Five Years


More outgoing & talkative
Play in groups of 5-6
 Play

– more complicated
Fights – less frequent
 Name-calling




& wild threats
More respect for other’s belongings
Concerned – what their friends say and do
Do not want to be thought as different – they do
not want to be ridicule
Gossip starts (friends, who has what toys)
 What
the group values, behaviors that are desirable
Six Years






Social relations – friction, threats & stubbornness
They want everything
Want to do things their way
Best friends – usually same sex
Play in mixed groups
No regard for team effort – they will just stop
playing
What would you do??

You are caregiver playing a game with a five year
old boy and his eight year old sister. The boy is
obviously cheating. His sister is about to complain.
What do you do??
Family Relations

4 years
Close ties
 Want to feel important
 Proud – help with chores
 Quarrel & bicker
w/siblings


5 years
Delight in helping at
home
 Play better with siblings
 Protective of younger
siblings


6 years

Do not get along well
with family members

Self-centered
Argue with adult family
members
 Rough & impatient with
younger siblings
 Fight with older siblings

What do you think???

Why do you think it is emotionally difficult for some
parents to enforce the standards of behaviors they
have set for their children?
Moral Development





The process of learning to base one’s behavior on
beliefs about what is right and wrong
Begins early in life
Preschoolers start to learn the reasons for rules
They start to develop conscience – inner sense of
right and wrong that guides an individual’s
behavior
Rules they learn in ECH – form the basis of their
developing conscience

Do you think that boys and girls develop a sense of
right and wrong at the same time?? Support your
answers with evidence.
Guidelines for Moral Development







Set clear standards of behavior
Respond to inappropriate behavior
Talk about mistakes in private
Understand children will test your limits
Consider the child’s age & abilities
It is a lifelong task to learn self discipline
Continue to show love despite misbehavior
Handling Lying


Remember: Preschoolers have a hard time telling
fantasy from reality.
At times, they are not deliberately lying.
 You
can show you know the difference, “ I will listen to
your story and then I need to know what really
happened.”

Lying at this is a misunderstanding
 Child
may think they completed task – so they will tell
you they did. However, you do not think so
 Be
sure the child understands the instructions/directions
Handling Lying

Sometimes – they do tell deliberate lies
 Get
attention
 Avoid punishment
 Please others & not risk losing love

Consider:
 Does
he know he lied?
 Why is he lying?
 Do you need more information?
 Is the child Asking for attention
Model Moral Behavior

Everyday actions
 Children
learn by following an example – learned
behavior
 Do

not send mixed messages
Television, movies & other media – influences
Questions





Identify characteristics that marks the emotional
development of 4-6 year olds
List five ways to reduce worry and tension
Describe how to help children develop selfconfidence
List three social skills children must learn as they
begin school.
Identify characteristics of family relations of 4-6
year olds
4 yr olds




Most still self-centered
Defiant, impatient, loud & boastful
Might argue & be bossy (kids & adults)
Other times = loving & affectionate


Want to see self as separate from parent/caregiver


Need & seek approval of parents & caregivers
Want to do things for their self (independence)
Vocabulary & language skills – improve
Test sounds of language
 Rude words – test adult reaction

5 yr olds


Emotionally Impulse
Feel more empathy for others (understand how
someone else feels)
6 yr olds






Emotional turmoil – state of extreme confusion or
agitation
Find role outside of the home
Long to feel grown up – small & dependent
Stubborn & quarrelsome
Center of the own universe
Please others to win praise for self
 Behavior

horrible for parents
Rapid mood changes
Self-Confidence
important that they experience more success than failure

Show Respect
Offer choices
 “Because I said so” – not effective


Give Praise & Encouragement


Good Job, I appreciate that
Plan Actives
Challenging, but not overwhelming
 Children need down time


Encourage Individuality

Opportunities
Reduce worry & tension

Look for the cause

 Ask
them to draw a
picture

Give children time to
calm down
 Time
Provide chances to get
rid of tension
 Physical
way of
releasing stress

out

Read a book about
the issue causing stress
Maintain normal limits
on behavior
 Do
not ease up on
limits
School
 How
to interact with new people
 How to make friends
 How to work & play in organized groups
Questions



Explain the relationship between imagination and
fear in the mind of a preschooler.
Describe how initiative and self-confidence are
related.
Explain how parents/caregivers should handle
lying.
Resolving Conflicts



Preschoolers spend a lot of time with other children
= conflict
Aggressive Behavior – hostile and at times,
destructive behaviors that people display when
faced with conflict
Children need to learn that aggressive behavior is
unacceptable
Resolving Conflicts

Suggestions
 Urge
children to talk about their feelings
 Acknowledge the efforts of children to resolve conflicts
 Model appropriate behavior
Social & Moral Development


Competition – rivalry with the goal of winning or
outperforming others
Teamwork and cooperation
Learning Gender Roles

Preschoolers are beginning to grasp the concept of
how to fit into certain social groups
 Family,
school, clubs, and others
Gender-role learning = learning what behavior is
expected of males and females

Gender role is a major concept children learn in the
preschool years.
How does gender role develop?


By how others treat them and how they see others in
their male or female roles
Sex-typing = treating boys and girls differently
 Clothing
 Toys
 The

way parents react
Children most often identify and imitate models of
the same gender as well as:
 Teachers
 Characters
from TV, movies, and storybooks
Cultural Differences


Society’s view of male and female is not as clearly
defined as it once was!
Traditional views:
 Male
– more aggressive, economic head of the family
 Female – wife, mother
 How

many of your mom’s stay-at-home?
Society’s view has CHANGED!

Sexual stereotyping = a statement or even a hint
that men and women always do or should do
certain tasks.
Extending Social Relations

Social learning's:
 Sharing
 Controlling
anger
 Thinking of other’s feelings
 Making joint efforts with others
Adults are still important


Still depend on adults for many of their needs
Adults are social models
 Teach
by example
 Model
relationships
 Morals
 Self-control
 Manners
 And
much more!!
Making Friends

Depends on the following:
child’s friendliness
 Ability to follow group rules
 Lack of dependence on adults



Prefer friends of the same gender
Self-centered view about friendships
They see friends as people who play with you, help you,
share their toys with you, etc.
 Creates a closed circle of friends


“You can’t play with us!”
Learning from Play Groups

Play experiences are richer with others
 Learn
new ideas
 Behave with peers
 Learn to play fairly
 Become less self-centered
 Learn that friends are fun! 
Questions







What is the difference between initiative and guilt??
What is the first step toward independence?
Why is preschool age an emotional time for some
children?
How do preschoolers handle their anger?
How do preschoolers express jealousy?
Identify four ways that caregivers can encourage selfconfidence?
How should caregivers handle lying?