Announcements
1. Next week: Chris Milner, Kimley-Horn & Associates
2. How to do well in CE 104
a. Participate in your group
b. Read the comments on the assignments
Technical writing!
Objective
Convey information as quickly, clearly, concisely,
and correctly as possible.
Powers of the Management Committee:
To employ staff, agents and other people (either casually, temporarily,
permanently or on secondment) to carry out the objects of the Association upon
such terms and conditions as they may from time to time consider desirable,
and to terminate such employment or agency, and to pay their salaries, fees,
commissions, remuneration and other charges out of the Association's Fund and
to confer upon any staff or agents so appointed the right to exercise any
discretion which may be vested in the Management Committee Members.
The Management Committee may employ staff.
Objective
Convey information as quickly, clearly, concisely,
and correctly as possible.
To:
A. Customer
From: E. L. Ittrett
Re:
Bridje design
Pursuant to your request, of February 6, 2008, please find inclosed the
Design of a bridje.
Motivation
A high school student seeks an internship with Civil
Solutions Inc., which is managed by vice president
Richard Rehmann.
The student walks into the office of Civil Solutions
and says,
“Where’s Rich?”
Could the student have improved his communication?
How?
Rhetorical factors
The student did not consider the factors important in
communication:
1. Purpose
What do you want?
2. Audience
What information does the reader need?
3. Context
What is the history? The future?
4. Content
Is the content appropriate? Accurate?
Purpose
What are some possible purposes? Give examples of each.
• To inform:
Technical report, journal article
• To record:
Minutes of a meeting, technical report
• To persuade:
Proposal, review article, essay, brochure
• To recommend:
Feasibility study, report
Audience
What are some considerations regarding audience?
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Who is the likely audience?
Do you know the readers? How well?
What does the reader already know?
What does the reader need to know?
What does the reader want to know?
What will the reader be able to understand?
How much time will the reader have?
How will the reader use this information?
What questions will the reader most likely have
after reading?
Context
Considerations regarding context:
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Need for the document
Possible results from the document
Budget
Timeline
Familiarity with audience
Audience expectations
Health of the relationship with the audience
Nature of the subject matter, potential controversy
Range of purposes of the readers
Audience preferences for verbal or visual descriptions
Content
Is the content appropriate? Did you
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motivate the document sufficiently?
provide just enough background?
explain what you will do?
provide good visuals?
Is the content accurate? Did you
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check calculations?
cite authoritative sources?
separate observation from speculation?
avoid unwarranted claims?
Example: speaker report
Write a report of no more than one page (12 point font, single spaced) on the
speaker’s presentation. Answer the following questions:
1. What is the speaker’s background? Describe the speaker’s career path
briefly.
2. What sort of projects or positions did the speaker describe?
3. What obstacles, barriers, or professional issues arose in the speaker’s
career? In particular, discuss how the speaker addressed communication
skills, ethics, and leadership in his or her career.
4. What were the key lessons you learned from the talk?
Speaker report: rhetorical factors
1. Purpose
What is your purpose?
Speaker report: rhetorical factors
2. Audience
What do we know about the audience?
Speaker report: rhetorical factors
3. Context
• Need:
• Possible results:
• Budget:
• Timeline:
• Familiarity:
• Expectations:
• Relationship health:
• Controversy:
• Verbal/visual:
Speaker report: rhetorical factors
4. Content
Next steps
• Generating ideas
• Gathering information
• Narrowing the information
• Outlining
Generating ideas
How might you generate ideas?
“What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m
sure) forgot to mention…was that we need to
make messes in order to find out who we are
and why we are here—and, by extension, what
we’re supposed to be writing.” (Anne Lamott,
Bird by Bird)
Gathering & narrowing information
How might you gather information?
How might you narrow the information?
Outlining
1. Write an outline (or at least a list).
2. Start with a standard template and modify.
3. Add as much detail as you comfortably can.
4. Don’t etch it in stone.
Scientific proposal template
1. Significance and objectives
a.
b.
c.
d.
Significance and motivation
Objectives
Hypotheses
Summary of proposed work
2. Background
a. Introduction
b. Literature review
c. Summary
3. Proposed work
a.
b.
c.
d.
Overview
Details
Plan
Preliminary work
Technical report template
• Abstract
• Introduction
– Problem statement
– Background
– Overview
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Methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
References
Appendices
Writing the document
Are you a farmer or a hunter?
Advice: Just start somewhere and write. Make a mess.
Break the rules.
Writing the document
Why is it OK to break the rules and make a mess when
you write?
Because you are going to revise, revise, revise.
“It is no sign of weakness or defeat that your
manuscript ends up in need of major surgery.
This is a common occurrence in all writing, and
among the best writers.”
Revising the document
Use a top-down approach:
1. Structure
2. Paragraphs
3. Sentences and words
a. Sentences
b. Grammar
c. Word choice
d. Punctuation
http://www.ucalgary.ca/uofc/eduweb/grammar/marking/
Revising the document
1. Structure
Revisit purpose, audience, context, content
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
Did you meet your purpose?
Do you have a new purpose?
Did you address the audience properly?
Did you provide the right content?
Do you need more?
Can you cut anything extraneous?
Revising the document
2. Paragraphs
a. Make the paragraph the unit
of composition.
b. Ask whether you developed
the idea sufficiently.
< 100 words: Developed enough?
> 200 words: Split into two?
Revising the document
3a. Sentences
Sentence errors are legion:
1.
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 2.
3.
4.
 5.
6.
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 7.
 8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Sentence fragment
Run-on sentence and comma splice
Fused sentences
Overloaded sentence
Mixed construction
Faulty parallelism
Dangling modifier
Misplaced sentence elements
Shift of number or person
Shift of tense, mood or voice
Omissions
Lack of variety
Illogical sentence (e.g., faulty co-ordination, faulty subordination)
Revising the document
Sentence fragments
“If you write a fragment, you fail.” (W. Heston, 1984)
Propane and natural gas on the other hand are still
fossil fuels, but they hold the potential for a very good
short term solution. Short term meaning eventually
fossil fuels will be completely depleted.
Where’s the fragment? How would you revise?
Revising the document
Run-ons and fused sentences
I also have us booked at Fareway on Friday from 4-8 pm
the store manager said the store is busier on Friday than
Saturday.
How would you revise?
I also have us booked at Fareway on Friday from 4-8 pm.
The store manager said the store is busier on Friday than
Saturday.
Revising the document
Mixed construction
Convective heat transfer is when the flow carries the heat.
In convective heat transfer the flow carries the heat.
The reason the coverage of the Olympics frustrates him
is because NBC focuses on the stories instead of the sports.
NBC’s coverage of the Olympics frustrates him because
it focuses on the stories instead of the sports.
Temperatures in Ames will be warmer this weekend.
Temperatures in Ames will be higher this weekend.
Ames will be warmer this weekend.
Revising the document
Faulty parallelism
Sugarbush Ski Instruction
● Exciting
● Lots
of experience
● Enjoyable
● You’ll
have a great time!
Revising the document
Faulty parallelism
Elements of a list must have the same grammatical form.
Compare apples to apples.
The experiments will involve measuring velocity, sampling
the water quality, and to record the wind speed.
How would you revise?
The experiments will involve measuring velocity, sampling
the water quality, and recording the wind speed.
Revising the document
Misplaced modifier
What is wrong with these sentences?
Nailed to the fence, Julie read the sign.
Having eaten the remains of the zebra, we watched the lion
lick its chops.
Revising the document
Dangling modifier
What is wrong with these sentences?
Groundwater contamination is a major concern when
designing the geologic repository.
Varying from a simple lime softening system to a complex
electrodialysis reversal operation, the incidence of radium
in drinking water can be greatly reduced.
Based on these tests, we conclude that this option is
not feasible.
How would you revise them?
Revising the document
3b. Grammar
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
 6.
 7.
8.
Idiomatic grammatical constructions
Syntax
Usage
Case
Verb form
References
Subject-verb agreement
Parts of speech
Revising the document
General pronoun reference
Antecedents of pronouns need to be unambiguous.
These conditions allow MTBE to travel quickly and with
little hindrance into the groundwater. This poses a huge
problem because the plume for MTBE is much longer than
that for any other gasoline product.
What is “This” in this passage?
Revising the document
Subject-verb agreement
What is wrong with this sentence?
Revising the document
3c. Word choice
 1.
 2.
 3.
 4.
 5.
Wrong word
Too many words
Excessive compression
Diction
Active/passive voice
Revising the document
Wrong word
Correct the errors in these messages:
Your ignorant of the ways of the world.
This is a reminder email that I send to all the authors.
If you have all ready uploaded all your papers and
have received confirmation emails than your okay.
Revising the document
Too many words
15% of words in technical writing are unnecessary.
Unnecessary
Necessary
Source: Rehmann made this up.
Revising the document
Too many words
Shorten these sentences:
At this point in time, the firetrucks have not arrived at the airport.
The firetrucks have not arrived at the airport.
In order to give an estimate of the dissipation, we made measurements
of the velocity with PIV, which is capable of achieving small-scale
resolution.
To estimate the dissipation, we measured the velocity with PIV, which
can resolve small scales.
Revising the document
Too many words
Shorten these sentences:
He utilized a saw to facilitate the cutting of the wood.
He cut the wood with a saw.
Upon visual inspection, there are three discernible regimes.
There are three regimes.
Revising the document
Too many words
Put action in verbs, not nouns. Clue: look for “of”.
In all cases the variable dispersion coefficient model provided
a much more accurate description of experimental results.
The variable dispersion coefficient describes the experimental
results more accurately.
Electrodialysis reversal (EDR) uses electric current to
achieve removal of hardness and other ions.
Electrodialysis reversal (EDR) uses electric current to
remove hardness and other ions.
Revising the document
Too many words
Just say it:
I am in a position to complete a purchase of a new car.
Due to the fact that he experienced a sudden illness, it was
necessary that the trip be cancelled.
You should have a discussion with Prof. Rehmann if you
are in a situation in which you have questions
concerning the matter of dimensional analysis.
Revising the document
Too many words
Don’t oversay it.
past memories
various differences
each individual
basic fundamentals
true facts
important essentials
future plans
terrible tragedy
end result
final outcome
free gift
past history
unexpected surprise
sudden crisis
very unique
large in size
often times
of a bright color
heavy in weight
period in time
round in shape
at an early time
economics field
of cheap quality
honest in character
of an uncertain condition
in a confused state
unusual in nature
extreme in degree
of a strange type
Revising the document
Too few words: excessive compression
Omit needless words, but don’t overdo it.
An efficient anti-aliasing spectral continuous window shifting
technique for PIV (article title)
Revising the document
Diction
Avoid slang:
This report will take an in-depth look at the Yucca
Mountain Project.
Avoid cliches:
These experiments go hand-in-hand with the numerical
simulations.
Don’t inflate your language:
The skier’s speed is dependent on many factors.
Revising the document
Diction
Don’t mix metaphors:
He is not the sharpest cookie in the jar.
You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.
He's got too many oars in the fire.
It's not rocket surgery.
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
The monkey is in your court.
Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific.
We are treading on thin water
We'll burn those bridges when we get to them.
Revising the document
Active/passive voice
Prefer the active voice:
The effect of flow length on longitudinal dispersivity was studied by Xu and
Eckstein (1995), and it was found that the dispersivity increases with length.
Xu and Eckstein (1995) studied the effect of flow length on longitudinal
dispersivity and found that the dispersivity increases with length.
The longitudinal dispersivity increases with flow length (Xu and Eckstein 1995).
Revising the document
3d. Punctuation
Separate independent clauses with a comma before the
conjunction (and, but, or,…).
We went to the store and bought milk.
We went to the store, and then Gunnar called.
Revising the document
Use a comma or commas to set off a non-restrictive (i.e.,
non-essential information) phrase or clause…
Richard, my brother, did not hire that high school student.
I drove my Subaru, which is green.
…but if the phrase or clause is restrictive, do not use commas.
I drove my car that I bought in Hyannis, Massachusetts.
Revising the document
Use commas to separate items in a list:
I bought eggs, milk, and bread.
The comma before the conjunction is optional, but it helps
avoid confusion:
I thank my parents, Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney.