Responsibility
By: Tracy L. Chenoweth
Opening Question
• When you think of the word responsibility what kinds of
things come to mind?
• Let’s collectively make a listing of our ideas on responsibility.
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Things that come to mind
Type your items in here!
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Defining Responsibility
• NOUN:
pl. re·spon·si·bil·i·ties
• The state, quality, or fact of being
responsible.
• Something for which one is responsible; a
duty, obligation, or burden.
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Self Test
•
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Answer True or False to the Questions below.
Be as honest as you can.
I do what needs to be done.
I am reliable and dependable
I am accountable for my actions; I don’t make
excuses or blame others
I fulfill my moral obligations
I use good judgment and think through the
consequences of my actions
I exercise self-control
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Short Answer Question
• I think I am/am not a responsible person
because…
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Okay, Let’s See How You Did
• 1. I do what needs to be done
– With regards to myself
– With regards to my Family
– With regards to my Work
– With regards to my Community
– With regards to my Religion
– With regards to my World
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#2
• I am reliable and dependable
– If we surveyed people who work with you, live
with you, or know you well, would they
describe you as a dependable person?
– A reputation for dependability is built or
destroyed in little ways.
– If you prove to be dependable in the small
things, you will undoubtedly be dependable in
the big things.
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Here are some of those little
things that matter:
• Keep track of any commitment or promise you make -Do you have a method to follow up on yourself? I can't
imagine that anyone can be consistently dependable
without some efficient follow-up system. It can be a
formal method, such as Day Timers, to a simple "to-do"
list or calendar, as long as it works! Whatever method
you use, be sure to write down all your commitments and
follow-up on yourself consistently. If you trust your
memory, you will eventually find yourself in trouble.
• Return your phone calls promptly --This is a very easy
way to buy yourself a lot of credibility. Most people are
amazed when someone returns a phone call promptly. It
sends a very positive impression of your
professionalism, and it also tells that person that his or
her call is important to you.
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…More Little Things
• Don't promise what you cannot personally
deliver -- Avoid the tendency to make careless
promises ("Under promise, over deliver" is a
good motto).
• When you realize you cannot fulfill a promise or
commitment you've made, for unforeseen
reasons, it is far more credible for you to inform
that person ahead of time rather than waiting
until he or she contacts you.
• Take the initiative to let that person know the
status of the situation, even though it may not be
pleasant to break the bad news.
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#3
• I am accountable for my actions: I
don’t make excuses or blame others
– Understand yourself and the day-to-day
choices you make that impact your
accomplishments and interactions with others.
– Don’t take the easy-way-out and blame others
for things going on in your life.
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Think and Share
• Have you ever really done or said
something that you severely regretted?
– What was the circumstance?
– What emotions were at play?
– What happened to cause your reaction?
– Could you have done something differently?
– Did you think of an alternative later?
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#4
• I fulfill my moral obligations.
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#5
• I use good judgment and think through the
consequence of my actions.
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#6
• I exercise self-control.
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Behavior Traits
• In order to accept personal responsibility
you need to develop the ability to:
– Seek out and to accept help for yourself
– Be open to new ideas or concepts about life
and the human condition
– Refute irrational believes and overcome fears
– Affirm yourself positively
– Recognize that you are the sole determinant
of the choices you make
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…More Behavior Traits
– Recognize that you choose your responses to
the people, actions, and events in your life.
– Let go of anger, fear, blame, mistrust, and
insecurity.
– Take risks and to become vulnerable to
change and growth in your life.
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…Still More Behavior Traits
– Take off the masks of behavior characteristics
behind which you hide low self-esteem.
– Reorganize your priorities and goals.
– Realize that you are the part in charge of the
direction your life takes.
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Responsibility Can be Enhanced
• There are six steps that can be followed to
help develop increased responsibility
skills.
• Let’s take a look at each one closely.
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#1 Awareness
• For a skill to be learned, information is
presented in various ways to create
awareness for each participant as to their
present use or non-use of the skill.
• That is what today is all about; a chance to
reflect and think of forward progress.
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#2 Desire
• Individuals need to be led to see what
benefit they might achieve through the use
of or improvement in the skill.
• An acknowledgement and a “want” to
improve.
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#3 Knowledge
• (how-to)
• Information examples, steps, or models
supply the knowledge individuals need to
be able to learn and demonstrate the skill.
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#4 Practice
• Activities that allow participants to apply
their knowledge about the skill.
• Using day-to-day instances for practice.
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#5 Success
• Feedback from self, co-workers,
supervisors, and facilitators, provide
encouragement and confidence for the
individual to continue to work on the skill.
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#6 Habit Integration
• Individuals understand the process and
know that they make a choice as to
whether or not to proceed to the next step
in the learning process.
• They recognize that the responsibility for
change is theirs.
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Six Pillars of Character
• A PERSON OF CHARACTER . . .
– Is a good person, someone to look up to and
admire.
– Knows the difference between right and wrong
and always tries to do what is right.
– Sets a good example for everyone.
– Makes the world a better place.
– Lives according to the “Six Pillars of Character”:
• TRUSTWORTHINESS, RESPECT,
RESPONSIBILITY, FAIRNESS, CARING and
CITIZENSHIP
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• RESPONSIBILITY- Pillar #3
•
DO: Know and do your duty. / Acknowledge and meet your legal and moral
obligations.
•
DO: Accept responsibility for the consequences of your choices, not only for
what you do but what you don’t do. /Think about consequences on yourself
and others before you act. /Think long-term/ Do what you can do to make
things better. /Set a good example.
•
DON’T: Look the other way when you can make a difference. /Make
excuses or blame others.
•
DO: Your best./Persevere. /Don’t quit./Be prepared./Be diligent./Work hard./
Make all you do worthy of pride
•
DO: Take charge of your own life./Set realistic goals./Keep a positive
outlook l Be prudent and self-disciplined with your health, emotions, time
and money./Be rational — act out of reason not anger, revenge or
fear./Know the difference between what you have a right to do and what is
right to do./Be self-reliant — manage your life so you are not dependent on
others; pay your own way whenever you can
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Think and Share
• Describe something you've done that was
really irresponsible. How did you feel
afterward? What did you learn from it?
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How to be a responsible person
and feel great!
• When you agree to do something, do it. If you let people down,
they'll stop believing you. When you follow through on your
commitments, people take you seriously.
• Answer for your own actions. Don't make excuses or blame
others for what you do. When you take responsibility for your actions
you are saying "I am the one who's in charge of my life."
• Take care of your own matters. Don't rely on others to remind you
when you're supposed to be somewhere or what you're supposed to
bring. You take the responsibility.
• Be trustworthy. If somebody trusts you to borrow or take care of
something, take care of it. If somebody tells you something in
confidence, keep it to yourself. It's important for people to know they
can count on you.
• Always use your head. Think things through and use good
judgment. When you use your head you make better choices. That
shows your parents they can trust you.
• Don't put things off. When you have a job to do, do it. Doing things
on time helps you take control of your life and shows that you can
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manage your own affairs.
Let’s Shift Gears…
• What about False Responsibility and its
remedies?
– What is False Responsibility
– Can your recognize times when you have felt
this way?
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• In this section we will look at the pattern of
"false responsibility" – when we take
charge of things that don’t belong to us,
such as:
– other people’s feelings,
– mistaken assumptions about who is
responsible for shared outcomes,
– or when circumstances change but we don’t.
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• Most adults have a natural ability to decide
what’s in and what’s out. Our family of
origin, fears, unrealistic expectations, and
stressors such as pressure or anxiety
sometimes cloud our judgment. The goal
is to respond in ways that allow us to
make high-quality decisions more often,
steering clear of the landmines of false
responsibility.
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• In our prior discussion we’ve suggested that one
key to success is to take personal
responsibility for the results you get.
• Even when others are into deflecting ("It’s not
my fault"), projecting ("You need electro-shock
therapy!"), or blaming and shaming ("You didn’t
explain it right."),
• You can strengthen your approach while earning
respect for your commitment to learning.
• However, no matter what the other person owns
(or doesn’t own), there are limits to "healthy
responsibility" at work.
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These limits come in
three forms:
•
•
•
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Under no circumstances are you
responsible for other people’s feelings
or experiences.
Caring about an outcome is different
than having to control it.
When there’s change, notice and adapt
lest ye get "bent out of shape."
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Limit #1
• Even when you directly contributed to someone
else’s experience, you are not responsible for
their feelings or problems.
• To accept some responsibility for the situation
would require your voluntary consent. I’m not
suggesting that you ignore their communication
or that you not listen. Indeed, listen carefully and
responsibly to their "stuff" – just don’t take it on!
• Realizing that it’s their stuff means you need not
defend or argue. This is their experience, and it
is a fact for them. Let it wash over you.
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• If you are having a hard time listening
without judging, ask them to "speak from
first person" – as in, "I understand you feel
that I let you down; what was your
firsthand experience?"
• If necessary, request that they "Start with ‘I
…’."
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Limit #2
• Caring about an outcome is different than having to
control it.
• Over-caring about a goal doesn’t achieve optimal results
– it prevents them! For example, if a manager claims to
be fully responsible for all the outcomes of their
department, what’s wrong with this picture?
• For starters, not all the outcomes are up to that
manager. It’s joint responsibility for shared outcomes:
the staff does their part and the manager does theirs
(hopefully).
• Though based on a good intention (caring), taking false
responsibility (over-caring) is a setup – a guarantee of
overwork, underplay, stress and eventual burnout for a
manager, depriving employees of power and recognition.
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• Of course, not assuming enough
responsibility ("Who, me? I’m not even
involved…"), would also be a problem.
Aloof and detached "under-caring" triggers
those who tend to over-care, both going
nowhere in a hurry.
• Remedy: assume functional and healthy
responsibility, which may involve an
adjustment in thinking, language and
approach.
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Limit #3
• Pushing to change circumstances beyond
our control causes frustration and wastes
energy.
• Being fixated on the way it has to be leads
to "over-push" – the tendency we all have
to escalate, retaliate, do battle …
temporarily buying into doing the
impossible.
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Example
• For example, imagine you’re driving to an
appointment on a tight schedule and
suddenly there’s a sea of red brake lights
in front of you. Do you go into stress or
despair ("over-push"), get creative
("Hmmm … how do I part the red sea?"),
or sigh and reschedule?
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Situation Fun
• See if you can identify the false
responsibility in the following “day from
hell” of a human being near you:
• Have you ever had a day like these?
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Situation #1
 Heading toward an appointment on a tight
schedule, you encounter a major delay.
Sadly, you left your helicopter in your other
suit. You fantasize about driving along the
shoulder or pushing cars out of your way.
After more than a modest amount of headbanging, you call and reschedule.
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Situation #2
 Back at the office, your computer commits
suicide at the worst possible moment; Bill
Gates fails to answer your page. You
mentally rehearse a scathing e-mail
message (fortunately, it will stay mental
due to lack of a keyboard). Can’t we just
start over?
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Situation #3
 The project meeting drags on and people
seem to be un-evolving before your eyes;
although selection, mutation and extinction
are a part of nature, you’d rather not watch
it happen at work. The facilitator isn’t
helping matters, so you blurt out “You’re a
fool with a flipchart!”
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• What part constitutes false responsibility
(hint: head-banging, chewing out Bill
Gates, and calling the facilitator names
isn’t likely to help you achieve your goals
in life – although it certainly may provide
momentary stress relief).
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Stress Makes People Stupid
• What keeps people from “letting go” when
holding on clearly isn’t going to work?
– Stress is what happens when the mind overrides our
common sense. Pressure and anxiety have a
blinding and distorting effect.
– When emotionally upset, “people cannot remember,
attend, learn, or make decisions clearly.”
• Short answer: negative stress clouds judgment,
and we need to notice it. The idea is to unlock
some of the agitation or anxiety – undo the
mental vapor lock. Return to center.
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See if you recognize any of the
following tell-tale signs of taking
false responsibility at work:
• Agitation or anxiety heightens as you gradually
realize you’re wasting your time.
• Frustration, perhaps punctuated by despair that
leads to moments of self-doubt.
• The feeling you get when you know it’s pointless
(too late, won’t matter, doomed to fail, etc.), and
yet somehow you keep trying.
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Process for Releasing False
Responsibility
1. Call a “time out” – STOP the action! Shift
from external focus (the thing that’s got you
upset) to an internal check-in.
2. Remember (or invent) your goal. “What
was my original goal?” Write it down. Then ask
yourself: “Why did that goal matter?” or “Why
did I want that?” This gets at the bigger picture
intention behind your goal, often tapping into
what you really want.
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3. Ask yourself to “let go” of what’s not
working. Soon the so-called “problem”
of the moment will quickly melt into a
vast stew of “little stuff” – and yes, it’s all
little stuff! Ask yourself “Of what could I
begin to let go?” or “Could I release part
of my need to change this situation and
accept ______?” You know what’s been
getting in your way.
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4. Assess your options. Now that you’ve
separated your intention from the overpush (steps 2 & 3, above), take a calm
and careful look at what you’ll do to
honor your intention.
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Final Thoughts on False
Responsibility
• All three forms of false responsibility –
taking on other people’s stuff, over-care,
and over-push – are downside risks of
caring and ambition.
• This isn’t to suggest that you pretend not
to care or that you lower your aspirations.
• To the contrary, awareness of this pattern
provides a way to care and succeed with
far less effort and greater confidence.
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Shifting Gears
•
•
•
•
Let’s shift gears one last time.
We have discussed personal responsibility
False responsibility
Now lets talk about Efficiency and Control
on the job
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The Efficiency of Responsibility:
Responsibility vs. Control
• Worker responsibility is
inefficient in the short term, but
is efficient in the long term.
• Treat a person like an
engineer, through self-fulfilling
prophecy he will think and act
like an engineer.
• Getting the job done has
priority.
• Workplace adapts to change,
becoming a leader of changing
technology.
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• Following orders without
input is efficient in the short
term, but is inefficient, if not
costly, in the long term.
• Treat a person like a
helper, through self-fulfilling
prophecy he will think and act
like a helper.
• Command-and-control
leadership has priority.
• The workplace adapts to the
status quo, becoming a
follower of changing
technology, when competitors
forced them to.
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The Efficiency of Responsibility:
• There is opportunity for
innovation. People by nature
search for ways to make their
job easier – with responsibility,
they have authority to take
action.
• Leadership can discover and
promote employees that have
demonstrated natural talent for
a given skill.
• Responsibility reduces the
need for mid-level leadership.
• Responsibility attracts people
who seek to be on the leading
edge of technology.
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• People following orders do not
have authority to take action to
make their job easier. They
have learned not to have an
opinion or make their opinion
known. They accept the status
quo and will fight change.
• Where employees only follow
orders, natural talent is not
recognized or discovered.
• Control increases the need for
mid-level leadership.
• Control attracts people who
reject change, they accept
their current status.
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Man #1
Examples
Man #2
Both men appear to be doing the same amount of
work. One is working smart - searching for a better
way. The other only follow orders - waiting for the
whistle to blow. Which one is which?
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Final Words on Responsibility
• Decision making responsibility offers
opportunity to discover natural talent. Until a
person is given opportunity, their true
capabilities are not known.
• Decision making responsibility
motivates/inspires one to excel, thereby,
realizing they can reach beyond their selfimposed limits.
• Decision making responsibility develops a
love to learn. A love to learn opens doors to
opportunity.
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Question and Answer Session
• Thank you!!
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