FEATURE
4
October 2001
Lightning Press
AdventureGuy
gets bit by a spider;
by Megan Prosen
Lightning Reporter
T
FEATURE
A
C
H
E
R
This year at Eastview, we have had the
privilege to meet a lot of new teachers. One
of these people is Mr. Ziebart, the newest
edition to our Wellness department. Growing up in Brown Deer, Wisconsin, Jose
Quivoz-Ziebart was involved in basketball,
football, and choir and his favorite subject in
school was math. Mr. Ziebart says that he
“wanted to work with kids for as long as he
can remember” and he knew that he wanted
to be a teacher by his final years of high
school. He enjoys teaching because it allows
him to connect with the students and make a
difference in their lives.
As a teacher, Mr. Ziebart works with all
his students to the best of his ability in order
to help them learn and work up to their highest potential. Class with Mr. Ziebart is a lot of
fun because it is so different from other
classes. Along with the typical Wellness curriculum, he allows students to participate in
the relaxing martial art of Tai Chi. Tai Chi is
one of the slowest forms of martial arts but it
can also be one of the deadliest. “It usually
takes seven minutes but it can be done in 30
seconds or 24 hours,” he says. Mr. Ziebart
reminds us that when learning this slow
“dance of life” (which can also be called the
“dance of death”), “patience is a virtue.” Mr.
Ziebart first became interested in Tai Chi as a
student at Winona State University and has
been doing it for six years since.
You may recognize Mr. Ziebart from his
performance at the Welcome Back Dance
where he taught us all how to dance, something that he says he has always loved. Mr.
Ziebart considers himself to be “mellow,
funny, serious, and flexible” and believes that
his students would describe him in the same
way. Don’t forget to join Mr. Ziebart for Tai
Chi every morning from 6:45 to 7:20 a.m. in
the wrestling room.
is fat as well
Welcome again, dear readers, to the sensational column where I, AdventureGuy, beg the student body to
send ideas to adventureguy99@hotmail.com, AdventureGuy’s painfully stagnant email account.
As usual, I have a story that was not brought about by any email, but is interesting enough to write about
for my own benefit, because I know that most readers have probably stopped reading after arriving at the
word “stagnant” and resumed looking at the pictures. Sorry – it has been a long seven months.
During the summer, I work at Tomahawk Scout Reservation, which is outside of Rice Lake, Wisconsin. I
enjoy working at Tomahawk because it usually gives me some good stories to tell, and the food gets so
mundane that those breakfast sandwiches that Holiday is advertising would actually look appetizing if we
weren’t fed those exact same chunks of peppered rubber twice a week. Basically, you get a good tan and lose
weight. It’s also a good job if you like teaching young boys knots that they can use to strangle each other.
by Joe Filipas
I had been tanning, losing weight and avoiding the occasional hog-tying for about five weeks when I
Staff Columnist
developed a rash. It was on the outside of my left calf, and looked sort of like a boil. I forgot about it for about
a week (which was easy to do since I didn’t wear shorts all summer), until it started to grow a little bit. I remember that it was the Friday before
my birthday, and I got a bad stomach-ache. I went to our central program center and laid down on the first aid bed and iced my gut for about
40 minutes. After the pain in my stomach (which by this time was about the size of a walnut) subsided, my leg started hurting. I pulled up
my pants leg and had my good friend and EMT Jake Ganfield take a look at it. He said he suspected it was a deer tick bite, and if it didn’t
subside he would send me into Rice Lake for Lyme’s testing. By the following afternoon I was getting slightly delusional and feverish. The
bite had become about the size of a dinner plate, bright pink, and incredibly tender. I had trouble standing up straight, and on one occasion
referred to a tree as “Mr. President”. Jake sent me to bed early with hopes that sleep would shut me up, if not make me any better.
Sunday morning I woke to my alarm clock blaring in my ear. I looked down at my leg and saw that the bite had grown about an inch in
diameter, was puffing out almost a half inch from my calf, had turned a deep shade of purple, and was hot enough to fry eggs on. Jake
suggested that I go to the hospital.
So, I drove twenty miles to Rice Lake with my right foot. A doctor examined my leg, and said, quote, “I have never seen anything like that
ever before.” I think that’s always an encouraging thing to hear from a doctor when you expect an alien or a clone of Steve Buscemi to
suddenly burst out of your leg. So, the guy drew a vile of blood from my arm and left. About an hour and a half later, he returned and said,
“I think you have cellulitus.” And I said, “You mean to tell me that I drove for a half hour with my right foot to limp into the biggest clinic for
one hundred miles, and sat on my butt in this examining room for two hours with nothing to read but a “Newsweek” from 1998, and you tell
me that not only do you have no idea what this pulsating mass on my leg is, but that your 90 minute analysis of my blood only tells you that
I’m fat?”
He was quick to explain that cellulitus is a bacterial infection that gets under the skin after a tick or spider bite. It was then that I
remembered that about two weeks previously, I had found and tried to dispose of a wolf spider in my tent that was roughly the size of Senator
Ted Kennedy, but could move as fast as Marion Jones. The spider had gotten away, and I had forgotten up to this point. So, the doctor
prescribed some pills that would choke a horse, and I went back to work.
Except, the bite didn’t go away. The pain subsided a bit, but the Tuesday night before I was going to go home for my birthday, I began
to swell. Before I left for home Wednesday afternoon, my head was puffed out to the size of a ripe watermelon. Even though none of my
friends said anything, I’m pretty sure that they would not have been able to pick me out from a police lineup if neccessary.
After All State camp, I returned to Tomahawk for about ten days, after which I had to go to California, and subsequently miss the end of
the camp season. My head was back to normal, and the bite was getting less noticeable, but that wolf spider came back to my tent to check
up on me. Me and my tent buddy, Mat Lindholm of Stillwater, MN, tried to destroy it. I am sad to say that it is still out there. So, dear readers,
if you ever see a wolf spider that’s as big as a Ford Escort, go after it with a shotgun. Let it know that it’s payback for Joe.
...Canned Spam...
by Jon Friedman
Welcome to Canned Spam. As you may know already, Sam Friedman started this article a few
years ago, in which he would ask people questions, and get the candid opinion of a representative of each
grade, along with a favorite quote. Sam has kindly asked (begged and pleaded) me to continue this
article as this odd taste in humor is, of course, hereditary. Also, Sam also will have a guest question each
time, so the “Samness” of the article is not all gone.
To the second order of business, I want to formally introduce myself. My name is Jon Friedman, a
freshman, and one of the few just-turned-14-year-olds (September 21 for me) to have facial hair. So if you
see me, stop by and say “Hello” or something.
2) Madison
2) Madison
Chris Ferguson
P
n a ho
v a to
ila
bl
e
1) Barely.
Senior
I tried to ask sophomores, but all they
responded with was,
“Haha, you’re a freshman and I’m not.”
Katie Hambrock
Drew Thomas
Freshman
Are you excited about Homecoming?
Where is Sam Friedman now (guest question)
1) Definitely. I love my dress.
My date likes it too.
1) No. Television is preferable.
2) Gulla Gulla land.
1.
2.
U
BY JON FRIEDMAN
Junior
CANNED SPAM
FEATURE
5
October 2001
Lightning Press
EASTVIEW BAND M A R C
H ES
by J. Boatman, B. Mraz, K. Peck, W. Szempruch, and J. Zirbel
Lightning Reporters
tions and I like to see the other bands’
shows!” The marching band had an incredThe EVHS marching band has started out ible start to their year and hope to maintain
their season with a BANG! This group spent their success throughout the season!
long hours together at band camp marching,
The backbone of marching band is the
playing music, learning drill, and having fun. drumline. Rehearsals began in July and,
As the beginning of August passes, the through commitment and dedication from all
band takes a three-day trip to St. Olaf Col- members, each one takes the drumline a step
lege to perfect their basic marching skills. closer to excellence. Rehearsals vary in pace
Band member Dana Mach thought, “St. Olaf and intensity, and memories are made at each
was a great way to get
one. “My favorto know everyone...
ite parts of
“My favorite parts...are the drumline are the
and get a head start on
our show.” They have
that
relationships that you build and relationships
worked hard this year
you build and the
to put together their
the experiences you have.” experiences you
longest and most diffihave,” says Cap-Ashley Swanson
cult show in Eastview
tain
Ashley
history.
Swanson.
“This year we seem to be able to learn
Director Mark Betters believes that the
things faster and we have a strong, positive best part of leading drumline is “watching
attitude,” says director Bill Henry. The show students who are unsure of their desire go
features songs from Disney’s Millennium from uncertainty to a high level of enjoyment,
Celebration, which are very different and ex- talent, and passion”. Although it takes a large
citing. They feature every instrument as well amount of hard work and commitment,
as two very talented senior soloists, Noah drumline is what percussionists at Eastview
Sommers and Mitch Meyer.
look forward to.
So far this year the band has performed at
After a performance at an Eastview foottwo football games and a competition at ball game, non-band member Molly Sauerbry
Champlain Park, where they competed states, “I’m surprised at how they can learn
against some of the best bands in Minne- to march and play as well as they did.” Mr.
sota and placed 5th. Sophomore Alex Betters also states, “This group works unbeAndrews says, “I love the intense competi- lievably hard, and if you’ve never done
WEST MEETS EAST
ON
The marching band rocked the house at their 2nd Annual Eastview
Marching Festival on September 29.
marching band before, you have no clue how
difficult it is to be a part of.”
After putting in a lot of sweat and hard
work, the Eastview band students finish
their season at the end of October. Come
and support the Eastview High School
Marching Band members at competitions and
performances throughout the remainder of
their season. With tons of emotional music
and technical work performed by the
colorguard, this year’s show will be one to
remember!
Congratulations to Wayne Hu,
David Pudwill, and Robyn Salter
for being selected as National
Merit semifinalists based on their
PSAT scores.
***
Students recognized as National
Merit Commended students are
Brett Carlson, Allison McKay,
Jessica Pearson, Paul Schaeffer,
Joshua Stager, Daniel Thompson, Laura Voight, and Nicholas
Voshell. Congrats to these
students for their hard work.
Eastview Band Gears-Up for China Trip
by Alex Andrews
Lightning Reporter
The Eastview band department is busy
preparing for its upcoming trip to China over
Spring Break 2002. The students are doing
everything from fundraising through Happenings books to translating useful sentences into Chinese such as, “I want plain,
white rice.”
China, a so uncommon was selected by
the department, according to Mr. Henry, because, “ It’s a unique travel destination with
many wonderful opportunities for performance and cultural exchange.” The opportunities certainly are unique, being in a country halfway around the world. China was discovered as a possibility through Dayton’s
Travel, which specialized in trips for musical
groups.
the
Muffin
Man?
NOMINATE A FRIEND FOR CANNED SPAM! EMAIL US AT
LIGHTNING_PRESS_NEWSPAPER@HOTMAIL.COM
4) When you’re lonely and life is causing you
trouble, you can always go...Downtown!
Chris Ferguson
P
n a ho
v a to
ila
bl
e
Drew Thomas
4) Aah, don’t touch me!
I tried to ask sophomores, but all they
responded with was,
“Haha, you’re a freshman and I’m not.”
3) He is an ever-present reminder of the
perversity of the human mind.
U
3) I love his muffins! I don’t know
him personall though.
3) Aaah! Stop yelling at me!
Freshman
at the Great Wall, an exchange at a Beijing
conservatory, a performance at the new Forbidden City hall and a final concert at the
Shanghai concert hall.
A trip as significant as one to China will
take a lot of preparation, but will provide unforgettable experiences. Thirteen long hours
spent on a plane, trying to figure out which
part of the fish head you’re supposed to eat,
being mobbed by street vendors at every tourist site, and wondering how this hole in the
ground could possibly serve as a toilet. However, the more significant memories will come
from experiencing the culture, meeting people
that we can feel so different from yet so similar to, and appreciating the feats of a country
with such an immense background. Nothing
can compare to feeling of standing at the
bottom of the Great Wall, realizing firsthand
the accomplishments of a society so unique.
Senior
know
Katie Hambrock
Do you
Quote.
China. Beijing, the capitol, and Shanghai, a
very modernized city, are included in the general trip.
Visiting
the ancient capitol, Xi’an,
is an optional addition. In
China, all
the major
sites will
be covered such
as the
Forbidden City, the Great Wall, Tian’anmen Square
and the terracotta soldier dig. Four main
concerts are planned for the band to perform at, which consist of an outdoor show
Junior
3.
4.
Being a relatively new school, Eastview’s
band department has only traveled once in
the past. In
1998, the
band took a
trip to San
Diego, California,
bringing
about 125
students.
The number
has
increased to
about 165
for the 2002
trip.
To make the most of the time they have,
the band will be moving quickly through