Test 3 Feedback
Question 1: What, if anything, does the speaker do to achieve the functions of a Speech
Conclusion? If the speaker misses one, what could he/she have done to fulfill it?
The three functions of a Conclusion are:
1. Signal the end. The speaker did this by:
-transitioning from the past when things were bad to the present when things
have improved—"Our lives now have definitely gotten better."
-note that a more explicit signal ("in conclusion") is not always better
2. Reinforce Central Idea/review main points (etc.). This was the weakest part of the
Conclusion.
-the speaker didn't really have a Central Idea to reinforce!
-the Conclusion doesn’t go over the three main points, but actually adds several
new ideas (father is jealous; still doesn't have much); it's also too long.
3. End with a bang/on a high note (etc.). The speaker did this by:
-quoting the saying, "measure of a man is determined not by how he starts his life
but by how he finishes it"
-ending with a highly emotional statement that the speaker would "give up
everything I have just to be like him."
-referring back to the introduction idea of emulating his father
Scoring:
1A
1B
1C
Student fails to mention one or more of the three
functions at all.
Student correctly states the function, but fails to
mention accurately a detail in the speech that
accomplishes function 1 or function 3
OR
Student thinks that function 1 or function 3
WASN'T accomplished
Student fails to notice that the speech does not
accomplish function 2 (reinforcement)
-2 / -12
-2/-3
-1
Question 2: Identify one example in the speech of each of these techniques:
(a) Simile. Any one of:
like counting all the stars 3
apartment like a shoe box 19
bright as a star
31
(b) Concrete language. Any one of:
trip to grandma 14
walking in Des Moines, only pennies, shirt old & stained, pants w/holes, no shoes
22
picking up cans on the street 29
old truck, torn up seats, dent in side 37
(c) Antithesis (parallelism plus contrast): Any one of:
we didn't have much, but we did have enough 11
he didn't have time to be with his family, but he did have time to support them 28
doesn't worry about food/not growing up—now too mcuh food/growing up too
fast 34
he gave up everything so we could have everything 40
the measure of a man is not determined by how he starts his life, but by how he
finishes it 44
2A
2B
One or more of the techniques identified are plausible, but not exact
One or more of the techniques are misidentified
-1/-3
-2 /-12
Question 3: What is the one negative comment about the speech that this speaker most
needs to hear now?
The most important problem with this speech is that it doesn't take the speaker's clear emotions
and translate it into a form which the audience can "take away." There are a variety of ways of
saying this using course vocabulary:
1. The Central Idea of the speech is poorly defined. Is this speech about self-sacrifice? family
values? perseverence? hope? hard work? what?!
2. The community values are poorly defined. It's clear that his father means a lot to the speaker.
but what does he mean to us?
3. The speaker has a clear emotional attachment to the subject, but fails to relate it to the
audience effectively.
4. The chronological pattern of organization means that the focus is on what happened
("informative") not on what the events meant (commemorative).
5. The conclusion doesn't reinforce the main ideas.
3A
The answer is in our judgment a plausible negative comment. But it is not
among the most important things this speaker needs to hear, now.
The answer is in our judgment not a plausible negative comment for this
speech.
-2
3C
3D
3E
The student doesn't use course concepts accurately to analyze the speech.
The student doesn't discuss accurately specific details in the speech.
The student doesn't give advice as to how to improve.
-2
-2
-1
3F
The student isn't expressed from a personal point of view, with markers like "I
felt…"
The student isn't civil—the answer doesn't respect the feelings of the speaker
to whom it is addressed.
-1
3B
3G
-4/-12
-1/-6
Question 4:
(a) Write one section (paragraph) of a Commemorative speech about Albert
Einstein, using one or more of the following facts.
(b) Identify the community value you are expressing in your paragraph.
(c) Name three different techniques for using language vividly, and identify one
example of each technique in your paragraph.
4A
4B
4C
4D
4E
The section is creative, coherent, vivid, fun!
The section lacks basic coherence—it is seriously jumbled, even taking
into account stressful test conditions.
The student fails to identify a community value that is reasonably
expressed in the section.
One or more of the techniques identified are plausible, but not exact
One or more of the techniques are completely misidentified
+1-2
-1-3
-2
-1-3
-2-4