Spring 2011 REACHOUT NEWS School of Social Work Stephen F. Austin State University Child Welfare Professional Development Project Inside this issue: pg. The Healing Power of the Adoptive Family 1-3 14th Annual Conference Regional News Child Welfare Information Center 4 5-6 7 Earn One Hour Credit 8-9 CWPDP Staff 10 The Healing Power of the Adoptive Family Reprinted with permission from the Foster Parent College Connections newsletter. Foster Parent College provides online training for foster, adoptive and kinship parents. For more information visit www.fosterparentcollege.com. Yogi Berra, the legendary catcher for the New York Yankees, famous for his quotable quotes, once declared: “It’s déjà vu all over again.” For many adoptive parents, it feels like they are “prisoners of déjà vu,” trapped in their children’s unfortunate past over and over again. These sad histories can live on and on without helpful intervention. Traumatic Histories: Ideally, children should be raised in a “cradle of development.” But, prior to being placed in foster care, many special needs adopted children were raised in a “nest of thorns;” they may have experienced a wide variety of maltreatment (physical and/or sexual abuse and, most commonly, neglect) over an extended period of time. Parents who maltreat often lack responsiveness and are unavailable to their children. For a host of reasons, some parents cannot or do not provide sensitive parent(Continued on page 2) From the Director…..Becky Price-Mayo, MSW, LBSW REACHOUT NEWS Published by Child Welfare Professional Development Project School of Social Work Stephen F. Austin State University P. O. Box 6165, SFA Station Nacogdoches, Texas 75962 Tel: (936) 468-1846 Fax: (936) 468-7699 E-mail: bmayo@sfasu.edu Funding is provided by contract with the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. All rights reserved. This newsletter may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The contents of this publication are solely the responsibility of the Child Welfare Professional Development Project and do not necessarily reflect the views of the funders. Spring is just around the corner and the conference planning commit‐ tee has been very busy gearing up for the 14th Annual Region 5 Foster and Adoptive Training Conference! The conference will be held on the campus of Stephen F. Austin State University, Saturday, April 16th. With the pending cuts in state health and human services, especially travel funds, the regional conference is an important training opportu‐ nity for staff, professionals and parents of East Texas. Registration in‐ formation will be mailed to CPS foster parents in late February. Around the same time, a PDF version of the registration brochure will be emailed to private child placing agencies for distribution, and the brochure will be posted on the SFA School of Social Work web‐site http://www2.sfasu.edu/aas/socwk/index.html. Click on the News & Events page. We hope to see everyone there! The conference planning committee, chaired by Mike Williams, Region 5 Council FPA Representative, will also be focusing on coordinating activities for the Youth Leadership Conference and day care which is held in conjunction with the 14th Annual Region 5 Foster and Adoptive Training Conference. If you have an activity or presenter that you think your youth might enjoy, please forward recommendations to Mike at mikewms@live.com. Later in the spring, there will be a separate registration process for children and youth, which is coordinated through CPS – Martha Boudreaux at (Continued on page 10) Page 2 REACHOUT NEWS The Healing Power of the Adoptive Family (continued) (Continued from page 1) ing nor do they offer caring structure and guidance. As a result, their children may develop an array of negative and distorted perceptions and expectations about family life, themselves, and parent figures. Traumatic histories can change many things, but especially how children perceive themselves and others. These perceptions not only become their reality, they may remain their reality. It’s déjà vu all over again. Sad histories not only alter how children view things, but can change their behavior and the people they become. In their traumatic early lives, children frequently adapted to survive. The way they behaved or misbehaved somehow worked for them in the past and it might have been life-saving for them. Beyond individual behaviors or behavior problems, say, running away from home or bedwetting to keep dangerous individuals from entering his room, a child may have adapted by playing a specific role in a dysfunctional family; for example, acting as a “parental child.” Children play their part in an unfortunate family environment. Later, even after being placed in a healthy adoptive family, they continue to play their role. So, not only does their unusual or problematic behavior persist, so does the historic role. The upshot of all this is that helping your adopted child may take understanding two central issues: (1) the past (and present) reason(s) behind his behavior problems and (2)the child’s in his earlier life. Reasons for Problem Behaviors: One of the most important questions to ask yourself when dealing with behavior problems and when helping your children, is to identify “why” they do what they do. Typically, there’s a method to the madness, but sometimes we, as resource parents, can’t fathom it. Instead we often feel baffled and hamstrung by the child’s problem and are forced into dealing with it reactively and negatively. Understanding the “point” of the behavior: i.e. its purpose, meaning, cause, or the reason behind it, helps us to remain proactive and positive. Here are six common reasons or purposes that can apply to almost any behavior problem you might be trying to sort out. Not all of them apply in each situation, but there can be more than one cause for a single problem. 1. Attention seeking (asking for needs/ want to be met): The child gains and maintains attention, sometimes negative attention; the youth may be communicating a need or want, though sometimes in a roundabout way. Your child might pick fights with siblings to get you involved in breaking it up. 2. Fear factor (anxiety, fear, or phobia): The youth may have an automatic response to certain triggers or situations; his behavior may serve to help avoid or escape some undesirable, unpleasant event, task, or individual; and/or it may reduce tension or discomfort that the child or youth feels. The child may smear feces in his bedroom to keep out dangerous intruders. 3. Provide stimulation or pleasure: Some behaviors are fundamentally rewarding. A child might take some secret delight in stealing a treasured object from you and watching you search for it. 4. Family issues: Issues in the family may result in certain behavior problems in the child or adolescent. Modeling may occur as well, wherein the child witnesses a certain behavior at home that he then imitates. The child may show disrespect towards the adoptive mother if his own mother was a victim of domestic violence. 5. Physical/medical: Physical ailments and psychiatric disorders can produce certain problem behaviors or symptoms. The child who erupts with violent outbursts unrelated to any discernable triggers may need a psychiatric evaluation. Page 3 REACHOUT NEWS The Healing Power of the Adoptive Family (continued) (Continued from page 2) 6. Cognitive distortion: Some behaviors naturally spring from distortions in the child’s thinking, expectations, or from irrational thoughts. The child may wonder if taking a family vacation means you’ll never return home. Of course, many of these reasons for individual behavior problems can emerge out of maltreating pasts. As an adoptive parent it’s important to “pinpoint the point,” that is, to identify why the child does what he does. The list of six reasons above may get you started, but, sometimes understanding “why” mandates taking things a step further. Adoptive parents may need to look beyond the reasons for a specific behavior problem to the larger issue of the child’s early role within his maltreating family. Early Role Within The Family: There are five common historic roles children have played and may cling to: The super-compliant child: This child may be overly submissive and passive. The child avoids expressing any negative feelings and obeys “to a fault.” To help this child the adoptive family needs to reassure the child that he/she is safe. The parents may need to track and observe how often the child misses golden opportunities to voice frustration, wants, and disagreements. Encouraging the child to voice feelings, needs and opinions assertively may help. The care-giving child: Frequently called a “parental child,” this youngster makes few demands of the adoptive parents and may attempt to take care of the parent or other children. The adoptive parent should be careful not to fall into a mode of punishing the child for doing “his job,” i.e. playing out his historic role in a family. Instead, find reasonable ways to channel the child’s care-giving tendencies in acceptable ways. Placing the child in charge of care-giving for a pet may help. Asking the child to assist the parent in certain tasks may give the child a senseof purpose. The coercive child: This child makes it impossible to not pay attention to him/her. The child may clamor loudly for attention or may act so inappropriately that the adoptive parent can’t help but correct him/her. It’s important for parents to not fall into a negative attention trap. Instead, it may help to provide the child with ample positive atten tion before conduct problems force negative attention. Equipping the child with the language to directly ask for positive parental attention may forestall negative attention seeking. The helpless child: This child may capture caregiver attention by exaggerated helplessness. This may amount to coercing parental attention through weakness or feigned illness. The child may respond to approaches which allow him, for a time, to be treated like a younger child. The disorganized child: This child may send quite confused signals to the adoptive family. He may desperately need, yet strongly fear, involvement with others. The adoptive parent should observe to see how much undiluted positive attention the child can handle without feeling anxious. The parent may have to mete out love and attention in small, low-key doses. Take Away Message: In a nutshell, good relationships in an adoptive family can repair early emotional damage. While psychotherapy can be helpful, the central, curative relationships of the youth should be with the adoptive parents, who may have the most positive, enduring impact in the child’s life. It is the healing power of the adoptive family that can provide a protective milieu in which the child can grow, learn, and succeed. Helping the troubled adopted child often requires understanding the child’s behavior problems and the underlying reasons for them. It also may require understanding what historic role he played to survive. It is important for adoptive parents to acknowledge what the child has been through in the past, all the while convincing him better times lie ahead. In the words of Yogi Berra, adoptive parents must convey the message that: “The future ain’t what it used to be.” _____________________________ Page 4 REACHOUT NEWS 14th Annual Region 5 Foster & Adoptive Conference Don ’ t Miss Your Chance to See Dr. Richard Delaney!! Dr. Delaney is presenting two Saturday Workshops: Using the Healing Power of the Family with Children with Complex Histories and Pervasive Parenting: Negotiating with your Kids at the 14th Annual Region 5 Foster & Adoptive Conference. He also will present two training sessions for the Friday Pre-Conference for CPS and other professional staff. Dr. Delaney resources available for check out from the Child Welfare Information Center ( CWIC ) ∗ Fostering Changes: Myth, Meaning, and Magic Bullets in Attachment Theory ∗ Troubled Transplants: Unconventional Strategies for Helping Troubled Foster and Adopted Children. Foster Parent College DVDs: Dr. Richard Delaney Dr. Richard Delaney is an internationally known speaker and consultant to foster, kinship, and adoptive parents, as well as with agencies such as Casey Family Programs. He is the author of several books including Fostering Changes: Myth, Meaning, and Magic Bullets in Attachment Theory and Troubled Transplants: Unconventional Strate- gies for Helping Troubled Foster and Adopted Children. In addition, Dr. Delaney has been instrumental in developing Foster Parent College ( w ww.fosterparentcollege.com ) , online and DVD training for foster and adoptive parents. Many Region 4 and 5 foster parents are familiar with the DVDs and have received training hours through the SFA Child Welfare Information Center. ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ Anger Outbursts Stealing Sleep Problems Sexualized Behavior Self-Harm Running Away Eating Disorders House Safety Grief and Loss in the Care System Childhood Anxiety Disorder Positive Parenting I, II, and III Reactive Attachment Disorder ( R.A.D. ) Wetting and Soiling Working with Birth Parents I: Visitation Fire Setting Page 5 REACHOUT NEWS Regional News REGION 5 NEWS Dear Foster and Adoptive Parents, We want to remind you about the Foster Parent Associations (FPAs) and that they are a service to provide you with the support and fellowship of other foster parents, additional training opportunities, and activities for the children in your care. We have several FPAs across Region 05. Angelina County FPA The Angelina County Association is not having regular meetings at this time due to lack of participation by the foster parents in the county. Trinity, Polk, and San Jacinto County foster parents are also invited. We really want to encourage all of you to come together to make this association the active, positive outlet that it used to be. Please watch your mail for notices about an upcoming meeting! If you have suggestions or ideas for getting the association back on its feet, please call Pam Thomas. President: Pam Thomas 936.676.6437 East Texas Foster and Adoptive Families Association ETFFA meets every odd numbered month on the last Friday at 6:30 in the Nacogdoches CPS office. Membership covers the following counties: Nacogdoches, Shelby, Sabine, San Augustine, and Houston. They offer child care, a pot luck dinner, and there is usually training provided. President: Leola Davis 936.229.9847 or 936.275.0918 Jefferson County FPA The Association held its Thanksgiving Feast on Thursday, November 18th for all Foster Parents and their families. The event was well attended. During the feast, the members prepared Thanksgiving baskets that included turkey, ham and all the trimmings to be presented to two families in need. The Association holds monthly meetings the 3rd Thursday of each month at New Officers 6:30 p.m. Meeting locations alternate between • President: Edith Briggs the Beaumont and Port • V. President: Linda Babbs Arthur CPS offices. Please call Annie • Secretary: Vicki Hogan Flemon at 409.951.3348 • Asst. Secretary: Camilla for information about the Flowers next meeting location. Orange County FPA The Orange County Foster Parent Association collaborated with the Cowboy Church of Orange Co., who sponsored our Annual Orange County Foster Families Christmas Party held on Dec. 4, 2010. The congregation of the church bought gifts and "Santa's Elves" passed them out to all the children in attendance. There were stories read, carols sang and a New Officers lot of food to enjoy. The Cowboy Church is al• President: Ricky Gall (NEW) ready planning for next • V. President: Anna McKay year's festivities. They (NEW) were excited about help• Secretary: Sue Blanchette ing the families of Or• Treasurer: Melanie Foreman ange County and making their holidays brighter. The OCFPA held its annual Christmas party on December 14th. The foster parents enjoyed games while the children watched Christmas movies. All of the families brought finger foods. The McKay family brought all of the children Christmas surprises to enjoy. Last year, in July, we held our first Family Fun Day. This was a fun filled day for all of the foster and adoptive families of Orange County to come out and get to know one another. There was plenty of food and water games for the children. Planning has already began for this summer to make this an annual event. Attendance is up, but Orange County FPA always welcomes more foster parents. They are getting ready to start fund-raising toward doing something special for the children at the end of the school year. Orange County FPA meets every second Tuesday of the month at 6:30 p.m. We meet at the Orange Co. CPS office 2220 Gloria Rd. Orange, Texas 77630. President: Ricky Gall 409.392.7312 Pineywoods FPA Pineywoods cover the counties of Tyler, Jasper, Newton, Polk, and San Jacinto. They meet on the second Tuesday of the month at 6:00p.m. in the Woodville CPS office. They always have a potluck, so bring something to share! Child care is provided, but you need to RSVP to Ms. Whittington so they will know how many to plan for. President: Sandra Whittington 936.398.4681 Please try to get involved in your local association! The more we have participating, the more valuable the group is to everyone. Page 6 REACHOUT NEWS Regional News We also want to welcome all of the new foster and adoptive parents to the region! Billy & Kimbrely Coleman Luke & Belinda Bourgeois Kelvin & Theresa Green Charles & Jessica Hartje Lloyd & Brandy Welch Dorothy Rogers Bruce & Joyce Lusich Richard & Connie Landry Donald & Patricia Johnson Joseph & Cijii Levier Samuel & Peggy McIlroy William & Linda Pittman Jose & Belinda Cantu Belinda Richard Roger & Martha Ballard Scott & Merlene Wilcox William & Theresa Howell Jason & Tracy Bean Shawn & Jeannie Hanson Shane & Angela Gotte Tommy & Karen McRight Mary Dixon James & Ruth Stone David & Vanessa Hunt Kassandra & William Jones Michael & Karen Church Paula West Givien & Christina Kelley Harrison & Robbie Langlinais Ronda Schroeder James & Michelle Wurz Donna Scypion Jessica Rogers Terry & Carol Thomas John & Diana Alejos Michael & Amber Tolar Eric & Melissa Erickson Abbie & Dana Porche Justin & Tonya Waterman Janice & Johnny Babb Nancy Morton Earl & Wanda Mouton Jared & Kallie Forman We appreciate all of you so much whether you are providing a foster, foster/adoptive or adopt only home. The service that you give to children and the love you offer is incomparable! Thank you! Ginny L. Judson and Jennifer Vincent FAD Supervisors, Region 05 Page 7 REACHOUT NEWS Child Welfare Information Center Lauren Skinner MSW Graduate Assistant Stephen F. Austin State University Fostering and adopting can be very rewarding; however, it is not without challenges. Children who have been abused or neglected often come with a wide variety of behaviors that are not always easy to manage. The Child Welfare Information Center (CWIC) offers an abundance of resources on many different topics. These will assist parents in helping their children cope with difficulties they are experiencing. Listed below are just a few of the new resources available to foster/adoptive parents. “A Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs” (Book) In this book you will meet 50 remarkable kids: A boy with autism surpasses his mother’s expectations in a swim meet, teaching everyone to live the mantra, “reach and pull.” A seven-year-old girl with albinism enlightens each person she encounters to the true definition of beauty. In this poignant collection, you’ll meet exceptional kids who achieve small victories daily, instilling wisdom in their parents with each stride they make. Earn Foster Parent Training Credit “Safe Parenting” (Foster Parent College DVD) The challenges of foster parenting can be overwhelming, and a highly stressed parent may lose sight of the safest way to proceed in solving behavior problems. In an effective support-group setting, this course offers insights and practical steps to looking after a child’s health, safety, security and best interest. The topics explored include the safety plan, health and security, actual and developmental age, trauma history, the treatment plan and state regulations. “Behavior with a Purpose" (Book) This resource provides a practical understanding of and relevant interventions for common problems of youth in adoptive, foster and kinship homes. Specific attention is placed on food hoarding, wetting, defiance, lying, stealing and negative attention-seeking behavior. The book also explains how the positive intent of adoptive, foster and kinship parents can often work at cross purposes with the motivations of the child. Numerous case examples illustrate the dynamics of a problem. The book firmly endorses the healing power of the family and is written from a strengths-based perspective. “Lying” (Foster Parent College DVD) Lying is the single most common child behavior problem reported by foster parents. In this program parents learn to understand and deal with this frustrating problem by looking at four types of lying behavior: lying to get out of trouble, lying to gain attention, pathological lying, and lying to get others in trouble. This DVD offers steps you can take when you have a child with a lying problem in your home. ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ ∗ Be patient Don’t take the lying personally Try to understand the child’s predicament Give consequences rather than asking questions Don’t ask children “why” they lie Encourage them to say what they really want Teach negotiation skills Focus more on the neediness behind the lying Have reasonable expectations for change “Culturally Competent Parenting” (Foster Parent College DVD) Many foster parents find themselves caring for children from minority cultures. Coping with cultural differences brings challenges that are not addressed in regular foster parent training. The DVD focuses on helping children maintain a healthy cultural identity, building their confidence and self-esteem, and helping them deal with prejudice and racism. Plus, it helps foster parents understand when and how to advocate for the rights of children in their care. _____________________________ A special toll free number . . . 877.886.6707 . . . is provided for CPS staff and foster and adoptive parents. CWIC books, DVDs and videos are mailed to your home or office, along with a stamped envelope for easy return. Please specify if you are interested in receiving foster parent training hours, and a test and evaluation will be included with the book or video. Once completed and returned, foster parents will receive a letter of verification of training hours earned. Your calls are important to us. We look forward to hearing from you! FOSTER PARENT TRAINING - REACHOUT Newsletter Spring 2011 Complete for one hour of training credit and return to your caseworker. Learning Objectives • • • • The participant will understand key issues in helping children manage the emotional impact of trauma in early life. The participant will learn common reasons behind problem behaviors. The participant will describe different historic roles that many children in foster care have played . The participant will identify helpful actions in responding to specific behaviors related to a child’s specific historic role. Learning Activities Activity One Helping your adopted child may take understanding two central issues: ______________________________ and _______________________________________. Activity Two List and describe four of the common reasons/purposes that can apply to most problem behaviors. 1.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Circle the best answer.) It isn’t important to find out why your children do what they do. True False There can be more than one cause for a single problem. True False Activity Three List and describe four of the common historic roles of children. 1.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ With the role of _______________________________, it’s important for parents not to fall into the _______________________ attention trap. With the role of ___________________________________, encouraging the child to voice feelings, needs and opinions assertively may help. Evaluation Date ____________ Trainer Child Welfare Professional Development Project, School of Social Work, SFA Name (optional)___________________________________________________________ Newsletter presentation and materials: 1. This newsletter content satisfied my expectations. ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree ___Strongly disagree 2. The examples and activities within this newsletter helped me learn. ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree ___Strongly disagree 3. This newsletter provides a good opportunity to receive information and training. ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree ___Strongly disagree Course Content Application: 4. The topics presented in this newsletter will help me do my job. ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree ___Strongly disagree 5. Reading this newsletter improved my skills and knowledge. ___Strongly disagree ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree 6. What were two of the most useful concepts you learned? _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Overall, I was satisfied with this newsletter. ___Strongly agree ___ Agree ___Disagree ___Strongly disagree Comments: ______________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Page 10 REACHOUT NEWS Child Welfare Professional Development Project Director (Continued from page 1) (409) 951‐3361. Along with numerous CPS staff, we have an SFA Mas‐ ter Social Work intern, Onita Brown that will be work‐ ing hard to coordinate SFA volunteers and activities for the youth conference. Onita has been awarded a Title IV‐E stipend in exchange for her commitment to work for CPS, specifically with children living in out of home care. This is just one of the professional development opportunities offered through the SFA School of Social Work, Child Welfare Professional Development Project (CWPDP). East Texas foster/adoptive parents will want to take advantage of the education opportunities provided in this newsletter! This feature article on The Healing Power of the Adoptive Family is from the Foster Parent College Connections Newsletter. We hope you find this infor‐ mation useful in your care and supervision of foster and adopted children. Remember to complete the enclosed learning activities and evaluation, and give them to your case worker for ONE HOUR of foster parent training. Often times it can be a financial challenge to obtain training. The Child Welfare Information Center offers education opportunities for foster and adoptive parents from the convenience of their homes. Be sure to read about new DVDs and books that can be checked out for training hours ( p. 6). Lauren Skinner, graduate assistant (GA) will continue to assist parents, as well as training Kolby Robinson, new GA, to locate the most appropri‐ ate resources for helping you parent you foster child. Both GAs will also be busy behind the scenes working on the conference and many other CWPDP activities. Our staff encourages your feedback and recommenda‐ tions for new training topics. Feel free to call our toll free number at (877) 886‐6707 and let us know how we can support your parenting efforts. 14th Annual Region 5 Foster and Adoptive Training Conference APRIL 16, 2011 Stephen F. Austin State University Nacogdoches, Texas 75962 Dr. Delaney. Keynote Speaker CEUs for LSW, LPC, TAADAC, LCDC and CPEs Foster Parent Training Hours Child Welfare Professional Development Project Staff Kolby Robinson Graduate Assistant 936.468.4578 Becky Price-Mayo, MSW, LBSW Director 936.468.1808 bmayo@sfasu.edu Lauren Skinner Graduate Assistant 936.468.1846 Stephen F. Austin State University School of Social Work Child Welfare Professional Development Project P.O. Box 6165, SFA Station Nacogdoches, TX 75962‐6165 REACHOUT NEWS Spring 2011 Earn One Hour of Foster Parent Training Child Welfare Professional Development Project School of Social Work, Stephen F. Austin State University