EXIT SLIP
• NAME: ________________
• Period _____ Date: _______
• Summary of what I learned in this class
today: (2-3 sentences)
I learned to ___________________
____________________________
____________________________
____________________________
____________________________
THE FORMS OF WRITING
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Narrative Writing
Expository Writing
Persuasive Writing
Response to Literature
Creative Writing
Research Writing
Writing Across the Curriculum
THE STEPS
IN THE
WRITING PROCESS
PREWRITING
• The first step in the writing process involves
selecting a specific topic, gathering details
about it, and organizing those details into a
writing plan.
WRITING
• During this step, the writer completes the
first draft using the prewriting plan as a
guide.
• This draft is a writer’s first chance to get
everything on paper.
REVISING
• During revising, the writer first reviews the draft
for five key traits:
–
–
–
–
–
Ideas
Organization
Voice
Word choice
And sentence fluency.
• After deciding what changes to make, the writer
deletes, moves, adds to, and rewrites parts of
the text.
EDITING
• Then the writer edits the revised draft for the
conventions of punctuation, capitalization,
spelling, and grammar.
• A writer should also proofread the final copy
before sharing it.
PUBLISHING
• This is the final step in the writing process.
• Publishing is the writer’s opportunity to
share his or her work with others.
THE PROCESS IN ACTION
PRE-WRITING
1. SELECT A TOPIC
– Search for topics that meet the requirements of the
assignment.
– Select a specific topic that appeals to you.
2. With the purpose of the assignment in mind,
find one point to emphasize about the topic –
either an interesting part or your personal
feeling about it. This will be the focus, or
thesis, of your writing.
3. Decide which details to include in your
writing.
4. Organize your details into a writing plan,
perhaps using an outline or a chart.
WRITING
1. DEVELOP THE FIRST DRAFT
2. When writing the first draft, concentrate on
getting your ideas on paper. Don’t try to
produce a perfect piece of writing.
3. Use the details you collected and your
prewriting plan as a guide, but feel free to add
new ideas and details as you go along.
4. Make sure your writing has a beginning, a
middle, and an ending.
REVISING
1. IMPROVE YOUR WRITING
2. Set aside your first draft for a while so you
can return to it with a fresh perspective.
3. Read your first draft slowly and critically.
4. Use these questions as a revising guide:
– Is my topic interesting for the reader?
– Does the beginning catch the reader’s attention?
– Are the ideas in order and easy to understand?
– Have I included enough details to support my
central idea?
– Does the ending leave the readers with
something to think about?
– Do I sound interested in, and knowledgeable
about, the topic?
– Are the nouns specific and the verbs active?
– Are the modifiers (adjectives and adverbs) clear
and descriptive?
– Does the whole piece read smoothly?
5. Ask at least one other person to review your
writing and give suggestions.
6. Make as many changes as necessary to
improve your writing.
Editing
• Check for conventions:
• Check for errors in punctuation,
capitalization, spelling, and grammar.
• Have at least one other person check your
writing for errors.
• Prepare a neat final copy.
• Proofread the final copy before publishing it.
Publishing
• Share your writing.
• Share your writing with friends, classmates,
and family.
• Consider submitting your writing to a
newspaper or other publication.
• Also consider including the writing in your
portfolio.
The Writing Process
Prewrite
Write
Revise
Edit
Publish
The TRAITS
- are the main features of effective
writing.
IDEAS
• Strong writing presents a clear
focus, or message.
• The writing contains specific ideas
and details that support the focus.
ORGANIZATION
• Effective writing creates a
meaningful whole – with interesting
beginning, middle, and ending
parts.
• The supporting details are arranged
in the best order.
VOICE
• Writing that has voice reflects the
writer’s personality.
• It is engaging and appropriate for
the audience.
WORD CHOICE
• Good writing contains strong words,
including specific nouns, verbs, and
modifiers.
• Word choice helps deliver a clear
message.
SENTENCE FLUENCY
• Effective writing flows smoothly
from sentence to sentence.
• None of the sentences cause the
reader to stumble or become
confuse.
CONVENTIONS
• Strong writing follows the rules for
punctuation, capitalization, spelling,
and grammar.
• It is carefully edited to be error free.
FOCUSING ON TRAITS
Connect the traits to the writing
process.
PREWRITE
• Ideas
–What topic should I write about?
–What part of the topic should I
focus on?
– What details should I include?
The Happiest Moment in My Life
BRAIN STORMING PROCESS
BEGINNING
Before bed time. SLEEPLESS NIGHT. Damn it! I can’t get any sleep. I called my
friend. Write how my friend sounded on the phone after waking him/her up.
MIDDLE
Write your feelings
Write what actually happened.
GOOOOOAAAAL!
END
Write by describing the events after the BIG EVENT.
Party! Party! Party!
Prewrite Continued
• Organization
–How should I organize my details?
–Which graphic organizer should I
use for my planning?
Prewrite Continued
• Voice
–What is my attitude about the
topic?
Write
• Ideas
–What do I want to say?
Write Continued
• Organization
–How do I want to arrange my
ideas?
Write Continued
• Voice
–How do I want to sound?
Revise
• Ideas
–Are my ideas clear and complete?
Revise Continued
• Organization
–Do my beginning, middle, and
ending work well?
Revise Continued
• Voice
–Did I create an appropriate tone?
Revise Continued
• Word Choice
–Have I chosen specific nouns and
active verbs?
Revise Continued
• Sentence Fluency
–Are my sentences varied?
–Do they read smoothly?
Edit
• Conventions
–Have I used correct
• Punctuation
• Capitalization
• Spelling
• Grammar?
Publish
•
•
•
•
•
•
Ideas
Organization
Voice
Word Choice
Sentence Fluency
Conventions
–What do you think of my work ?
Writing a
Personal Narrative
A personal narrative recreates a specific
experience or event in
your life.
This kind of writing
invites the reader to
experience what you’ve
experienced.
So if a reader says, “It all
seems so real to me,”
you’ll know you
succeeded.
Narrative Writing Warm-Up:
Be selective
• When you write a personal narrative, it’s
important to include specific details.
• However, a reader doesn’t need to know every
little things – like the color of the shoes you
wore to a band concert.
• You need to be selective, choosing those details
that are key to appreciating the experiece.
Writing a Narrative Paragraph
• A personal narrative paragraph shares a
specific experience.
• The paragraph has three parts:
1. The topic sentence introduces the experience.
2. The body sentences share details that re-create
the experience.
3. The closing sentence reflects on the experience.
RUBRIC
for
NARRATIVE WRITING
6 Ideas
The narrative shares a
memorable event. Details
bring the essay to life.
6 Organization
The structure of the narrative
makes it enjoyable and easy
to read.
6 Voice
The writer’s voice captures
the experience for the reader
6 Word Choice
The writer’s excellent word
choice creates a vivid picture
of the event.
6 Sentence Fluency
The sentences are skillfully
written to hold the reader’s
interest.
6 Conventions
The narrative has no errors in
spelling, grammar, or
punctuation.
5
IDEAS The writer shares an interesting experience. Specific details help maintain
interest.
ORGANIZATION The narrative has a clear beginning, middle, and ending. Transitions
are helpful.
VOICE The writer’s voice sounds natural. Dialogue helps hold the reader’s interest.
WORD CHOICE Specific nouns, verbs, and modifiers create clear images and feelings.
SENTENCE FLUENCY The sentences show variety and are easy to understand.
CONVENTIONS The narrative has a few minor errors in punctuation, grammar, or
spelling.
4
IDEAS The writer tells about an interesting experience. Details need to show, not tell.
ORGANIZATION For most part, the narrative is organized. Most of the transitions are
helpful
VOICE The writer’s voice creates interest in the essay, but dialogue needs to sound
more natural.
WORD CHOICE Some stronger nouns, verbs, and/or modifiers would create a clearer
picture.
SENTENCE FLUENCY The sentences are varied, but some should flow more smoothly.
CONVENTIONS The narrative has some errors that may distract the reader.
EXPOSITORY WRITING OVERVIEW
CALIFORNIA STANDARDS
WS 1.1
Establish a controlling impression or
coherent thesis that conveys a clear
and distinctive perspective on the
subject and maintain a consistent
tone and focus throughout the piece
of writing.
WS 1.2
Use precise language, action verbs,
sensory details, appropriate modifiers,
and the active rather than the passive
voice.
WS 1.9
Revise writing to improve the logic
and coherence of the organization
and controlling perspective, the
precision of word choice, and the
tone by taking into consideration
the audience, purpose, and
formality of the context.
WS 2.3
Write expository compositions,
including analytical essays and research
reports:
1. Marshal evidence in support of a
thesis and related claims, including
information on all relevant
perspectives.
2. Convey information and ideas
from primary and secondary
sources accurately and
coherently.
3. Make distinctions between the
relative value and significance
of specific data, facts, and
ideas.
4. Include visual aids by employing
appropriate technology to organize
and record information on charts,
maps, and graphs.
5. Anticipate and address readers’
potential misunderstandings,
biases, and expectations.
6. Use technical terms and
notations accurately.
EXPOSITORY WRITING
Please Take Notes
FOCUS ON THE TRAITS
Ideas
• Focusing on a significant
similarity and including
details to support the
thesis
Organization
• Including a strong beginning
and ending, and arranging
points of comparison
chronologically in the middle
paragraphs
Word Choice
• Selecting precise nouns,
active verbs, and no
unnecessary modifiers
Sentence Fluency
• Constructing simple,
compound, and complex
sentences that read
smoothly
Conventions
• Checking for errors in
punctuation,
capitalization, spelling,
and grammar
Writing a
Comparison Essay
OBJECTIVES
• Understand the form and content of a
comparison essay
• Identify and develop the main point of
comparison between two subjects
• Plan, draft, revise, edit, and publish a
comparison essay
Expos(e)itory writing is the most
common form of writing assigned
in your classes.
If a particular assignment asks you
to explain, summarize, illustrate,
analyze, classify, or compare, then
you are involved in expository
writing.
A comparison essay is a piece of
writing that
• compares two people, places, or
things;
• explains how the two subjects
are alike;
• is organized by points of
comparison.
You will do your best work
if you follow these five tips:
1. Select two people who
truly interest you.
2. Learn as much as you
can about them.
3. Organize your writing
around important
points of comparison.
4. Engage the reader
with some interesting
details, including
quotations and
revealing facts.
5. Share your
information clearly
and completely.
WRITING GUIDELINES
• Subject: Two famous people
• Form: Comparison Essay
• Purpose: To show similarities
• Audience: Classmates
Expository Writing Warm-Up:
Key Points of Comparison
When you write a
comparison essay, be sure
that you focus on key points
of comparison between
your two topics.
Tim Williams was planning a
comparison of his two
grandfathers. He knew that one
important point of comparison
was their involvement in World
War II.
During his planning, he made a Tchart and listed wartime details
about each grand father.
Points of Comparison: Involvement in
WWII
Grandfather Capewell
Grandfather Williams
• Wanted to join the British
army
• Denied because of heart
murmur
• Worked for aviation
industry
• Inspected crashed airplanes
• Wanted to join the US Navy
• Denied because of poor
eyesight
• Accepted in the army
• Fought in Europe.
Point of Comparison: Identical twins.
•
•
•
•
Joseph
Loves music and sings in a
chorale
Travels and visit exotic
places
Got his PHD from Harvard
Married a cellist
•
•
•
•
Chris
Loves music and plays in the
band as lead guitarist
Travels and visit exotic
places
Got his PHD in Yale.
Married a soprano
Write your topic sentence.
A specific point of comparison can
usually be covered in one
paragraph. To plan for his
paragraph, Tim wrote this topic
sentence, which identified the
point of comparison to be
covered.
My grandfathers (subjects)
proudly served their countries
during World War II (point of
comparison).
Writing a Comparison
Paragraph
A paragraph in a comparison essay
should cover one main point of
comparison between the two
subjects.
Tim wrote the following
comparison paragraph about his
two grandfathers. Remember that
a paragraph has three main parts:
A paragraph has three main parts.
1. The topic sentence introduces the
two people and the point of
comparison.
2. The body sentences support the
point of comparison.
3. The closing sentence completes the
comparison.
Doing Their Part
TITLE OF THE PARAGRAPH
Topic
Sentence
My grandfathers proudly served
their countries during World War
II. As soon as the war started,
Thomas Capewell, my grandfather
in England, wanted to join the BODY
British army. As soon as he
graduated from high school, John
Williams, my grandfather in the
United States
wanted to join the navy. Things
didn’t work out well for either of
them. The draft board wouldn’t
take Thomas because he had a
heart murmur as a kid, and the
navy wouldn’t take John becauseBODY
his eyesight wasn’t good enough.
But that didn’t stop either of the
men. Because
Thomas was trained as an
engineer, he helped design
BODY
airplanes for his country. He was
also part of a group that inspected
enemy warplanes that were shot
down. John passed the physical for
the United States army and served
in the infantry for three years. John
was in Germany when the German
army surrendered. He said that he
and his war buddies really
celebrated that night. Both of my
grandfathers say that the war
taught them more than any other
experience in their lives.
Closing Sentence
Try it!
• Think of two people you know well who have
things in common – perhaps two aunts, two
friends, or two neighbors.
• Also think of an important or interesting
point of comparison between the two people
– Growing up
– Involvement in a sport
– Education
– And so on
• On a piece of paper, write the point
of comparison.
• Then make a T- chart to list details
related to this idea for each person.
Points of Comparison: Involvement in
WWII
Grandfather Capewell
Grandfather Williams
• Wanted to join the British
army
• Denied because of heart
murmur
• Worked for aviation
industry
• Inspected crashed airplanes
• Wanted to join the US Navy
• Denied because of poor
eyesight
• Accepted in the army
• Fought in Europe.
Point of Comparison
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Person One
Detail 1
Detail 2
Detail 3
Detail 4
Detail 5
Detail 6
Detail 7
Detail 8
Detail 9
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Person Two
Detail 1
Detail 2
Detail 3
Detail 4
Detail 5
Detail 6
Detail 7
Detail 8
Detail 9
Write you topic sentence.
• A specific point of comparison can usually be
covered in one paragraph.
• To plan for his paragraph, Tim wrote this
topic sentence, which identified the point of
comparison to be covered.
• My grandfathers (subjects) proudly served
their countries during World War II (point of
comparison).
Try it!
• Using your list of comparison
details, write a topic sentence that
identifies your subjects and point of
comparison.
Write your own comparison
paragraph.
Use your planning (T-chart)
and the paragraph entitled “Doing
Their Part.”
Rubric
for
Expository Writing
IDEAS
The topic, thesis, an details
make the essay
unforgettable
The essay is informative
with a clear thesis and
specific details.
The essay is informative
with a clear thesis. More
specific details are
needed.
The beginning interests the
reader. The middle
supports the focus. The
ending works well.
Transitions are used.
The essay is divided into
a beginning, a middle,
and an ending. Some
transitions are used.
The writer’s voice sounds
knowledgeable and
confident. It fits the
audience.
The writer’s voice
sounds knowledgeable
most of the time and fits
the audience.
ORGANIZATION
The organization and
transitions make the essay
crystal clear and
compelling.
VOICE
The writer’s voice has the
confident, knowledgeable
sound of a professional
writer.
WORD CHOICE
The word choice is precise,
with just the right nouns,
verbs, and modifiers.
Specific nouns and action
verbs make the essay clear
and informative.
Some nouns and verbs
could be more specific.
SENTENCE FLUENCY
The sentences have flair and
flavor, and the reader will
enjoy them.
The sentences read
smoothly.
Most of the sentences
read smoothly, but some
are short and choppy.
The essay has a few minor
errors in punctuation,
spelling, or grammar.
The essay has some
errors in punctuation,
spelling, or grammar.
CONVENTIONS
The essay is error free.
A paragraph has three main parts.
1. The topic sentence introduces the
two people and the point of
comparison.
2. The body sentences support the
point of comparison.
3. The closing sentence completes the
comparison.
TOPIC SENTENCE
DETAILS
(In bullet Points)
1 Who is the greatest
American athlete of all
time?
•Jim Thorpe & Jesse Owens
•Great athletes
•Overcame poverty/prejudice
2
•Detail 1
•Detail 2
•Detail 3
3
•Detail 1
•Detail 2
•Detail 3
4
•Detail 1
•Detail 2
•Detail 3
5
•Detail 1
•Detail 2
•Detail 3
6
•Detail 1
•Detail 2
•Detail 3
CLOSING SENTENCE
Jim Thorpe and Jesse
Owens were great
athletes who overcame
poverty & prejudice
500
points
GATHERING GRID
QUESTIONS
When and where was he
born?
What was his family like?
When did his talent first
appear?
What was his first big
success?
JIM THORPE
JESSE OWENS
GATHERING GRID Continued
QUESTIONS
What was his biggest
succes?
What happened after his
biggest success?
JIM THORPE
JESSE OWENS
GATHERING GRID
QUESTIONS
JIM THORPE
JESSE OWENS
When and where was he
born?
Born in 1888 in a one-room Born in 1913 in Alabama
cabin, Prague, Oklahoma
(jesseowens.com)
(nativeamericans.com)
What was his family like?
Poor, Native American
name “Wa-tho-huck”
meant “Bright Path” (AllAmerican)
Poor, moved to Cleveland
for better life (Jesse: The
Man Who Outran Hitler)
When did his talent first
appear?
At the Carlisle Indian
School in PA
(nativeamericans.com)
At Cleveland East Technical
High on track team
(“Jesse”)
What was his first big
success?
Scored 25 touchdowns and
198 points in last season at
Carlisle, All-American two
years (wmgww.com)
Tied one world record and
set three more – all with
an injured back!
(jesseowens.com)
GATHERING GRID Continued
QUESTIONS
JIM THORPE
JESSE OWENS
What was his biggest
succes?
Pentathlon and decathlon
winner at 1912 Olympics,
decathlon score stood for
20 years (All-American)
Went to Berlin Olympics in
1936, won four gold
medals in front of Hitler
(World Book Encyclopedia)
What happened after his
biggest success?
Medals stripped for
“professionalism,” played
pro baseball/football,
movie extra, Chicago Park
Dist. Staff
(nativeamericans.com)
No endorsement deals,
raced against motorcycles
and racehorses, became
public speaker (“Jesse”)
Prewriting ★ Create note cards
• A gathering grid is an effective way to
collect and organize details for an essay.
• However, sometimes you need more
space, especially to record a quotation, to
paraphrase important information, or to
explain or define something.
• In these cases, you should use note cards.
Prewriting ★ Sample Note Cards
• Number each new card, and write the
question at the top.
• Then answer the question with a
paraphrase, a quotation, or an
explanation.
• If necessary, identify the source of the
information at the bottom of the note
card.
Paraphrase
1
• What was Jim Thorpe’s family like?
• Thorpe’s twin brother, Charlie, died when
Jim was nine, and his mother died shortly
afterward. Thorpe attended one Indian
school after another in Oklahoma, Kansas,
and Pennsylvania before his athletic talent
was recognized.
-“Thorpe”
Quotation
2
• What was Jesse Owen’s biggest success?
• Owens befriended the top German long
jumper, Luz Long. Owens later said, “You
can melt down all the medals and cups I
have, and they wouldn’t be a plating on
the 24-karat friendship I felt for Luz Long.”
-
Explanation
3
• What happened to Jim Thorpe after his
biggest success?
• Explanation of “professionalism” –
Professional athletes were not allowed to
compete in the Olympics, and Thorpe had
earned $15 a week playing minor-league
baseball.
-
Today is Monday, September 10,2012
• Writing Standard 2.0
DO NOT COPY. JUST
BEGIN WRITING.
• Write a personal narrative.
– Choose an important accomplishment in your life. Recreate the experience with plenty of specific details. (in
plain language – something that made you exclaim:
“Yes! I did it.”)
– Present the experience in chronological order. Include a
strong beginning, middle, and ending.
– Choose specific words with the appropriate connotation,
or feeling.
– Use sentences that flow smoothly from one idea to the
next.
– Be sure that your punctuation, capitalization, spelling,
and grammar are correct.
Focus on points of comparison
• After gathering details about your subjects, it’s
time to decide on the key points of
comparison that you will make in your essay.
• After reviewing the assignment goals and his
gathering grid, Rafael decided to focus on four
points of comparison.
Points of Comparison
• Childhood
• Beginning career
• Middle career
• Late career
Review your gathering grid and
decide on three to five important
points of comparison that you
would like to use.
(Examples: Childhood, Beginning
Career, Middle Career, Late
Career)
List details
• Next, you should list the details that relate to
each subject for each point of comparison.
• Here is how Rafael listed the details for his
first two points of comparison: childhood and
beginning career.
Childhood
Jim Thorpe
• Born in 1888 in Prague, OK
• Very poor
• Native American name
“Wa-tho-huc” means
“Bright Path”
SAMPLE
Jesse Owens
• Born in 1913 in Alabama
• Very poor
• African American
• Moved to Cleveland
• Worked odd jobs, couldn’t
make all track practices
Beginning Career
Jim Thorpe
• Led Carlisle Indian football
team to huge upsets
• Named All-American
SAMPLE
Jesse Owens
• Track star of East Tech High
• At Ohio State, tied one
world record and broke
three
Middle Career
Jim Thorpe
• Detail one
• Detail two
• Detail three
SAMPLE
Jesse Owens
• Detail one
• Detail two
• Detail three
Late Career
Jim Thorpe
• Detail one
• Detail two
• Detail three
SAMPLE
Jesse Owens
• Detail one
• Detail two
• Detail three
LIST DETAILS
SUBJECT ONE
SUBJECT TWO
CHILDHOOD
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
BEGINNING CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
MIDDLE CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
LATE CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
Prewriting
★Write a thesis statement
Two
famous
people
Jim
Thorpe
and
Jesse
Owens
Summary
of main
similarity
Great
athletes
who
overcame
poverty and
prejudice
A strong thesis
statement
Jim Thorpe and
Jesse Owens
were great
athletes who
overcame
poverty and
prejudice.
Outline your essay.
• Before you write your first draft, you
should outline the main information that
you will include in the middle part of the
essay to support your thesis statement.
• The following is the first part of Rafael’s
sentence outline.
Thesis Statement: Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great
athletes who overcame poverty and prejudice.
1. [Point of Comparison]
Both of these great athletes started life poor.
[Supporting Details]
A. Jim Thorpe was born in 1888 near Prague, Oklahoma.
B. His Native American name was “Wa-tho-huk.”
C. His twin brother and mother died when Jim was young.
D. Jesse Owens was born in 1913 in Alabama.
E. His family moved to Cleveland, and he worked many odd
jobs.
Now that you have finished
prewriting, you’re ready to
write your first draft. As
you write, refer to your
outline and your research
notes.
Writing
Keys to Effective Writing
1. Include a thesis statement in the first
paragraph and a topic sentence about a
point of comparison in each middle
paragraph.
2. Put all your ideas down on paper in your
first draft.
3. Use your outline as a guide.
4. Add specific details to explain each point of
comparison.
5. Use transition words and phrases to connect
your ideas.
6. Write on every other line to leave room for
later changes, or double-space if you’re
working on a computer.
WRITING
Get the big picture
• Now that you have finished
prewriting, you are ready to write a
first draft of your essay.
• The graphic that follows shows how
the parts of your essay should fit
together.
BEGINNING
• The beginning captures the reader’s interest,
introduces the two famous people, and
states the thesis.
• Thesis Statement
Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens were great
athletes who overcame poverty and
prejudice.
MIDDLE
• The middle contains a paragraph for each
point of comparison and includes supporting
details, paraphrases, and quotations.
• Topic Sentences
Both of these great athletes started life poor
(Childhood)
• As young adults, Thorpe and Owens used
their natural talents to achieve greatness.
(Beginning career)
• These great American athletes then went on
to succeed against the world’s best athletes.
(Middle career)
• Following their days of Olympic glory,
however, Thorpe and Owens both returned
to harsh realities. (Late career)
ENDING
• The ending revisits the thesis and reflects on
the importance of the two famous people.
• Closing Sentences
Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens overcame
poverty and prejudice to become two of the
greatest athletes of all time. Their
accomplishments live on in the sports they
helped to integrate and in the world they
helped to change.
Start your
essay.
The beginning of your
essay should capture the
reader’s interest,
introduce your subjects,
and state your thesis.
Here are some ways to get the
reader’s attention.
• Ask a question.
Who is the greatest American athlete of all
time?
• Start with a quotation.
“Sir,” the King of Sweden said to Jim Thorpe,
“you are the greatest athlete in the world.”
• Use a surprising statistic.
During one Big Ten meet, Jesse Owens tied
one world record and set three more – all
with an injured back!
• Connect with the reader.
Imagine being a high school athlete who
could beat world records.
Beginning Paragraph
• Rafael starts his essay by asking a question.
• He then includes details leading to his thesis
statement, which introduces the focus of his
writing.
• In the following beginning paragraph, the
writer captures the reader’s interest and
leads up to his thesis statement (highlighted).
Who is the greatest American athlete of all
time? Most people think of people like
Muhammad Ali, Jackie Joyner-Kersey, or Babe
Ruth. However there two other great
American athletes that some people may have
forgotten about. These two people caught the
world’s attention many years ago, and they still
inspire us today. Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens
were great athletes who overcame poverty and
prejudice.
TRANSITIONS
•
•
•
•
•
•
also
both
but
by contrast
each
however
•
•
•
•
•
•
Likewise
on the one hand
on the other hand
similarly
though
yet
Develop the middle part.
• Follow your outline to write the middle part
of your essay.
• Be sure to expand on the key ideas with
additional information from your note cards.
Middle
Paragraphs
Topic sentences
identify each
main point of
comparison.
A paraphrase
puts
information in
the writer’s
own words.
Both of these great athletes started life
poor. In 1888, Jim Thorpe was born on a farm
near Prague, Oklahoma. His parents named
him Wa-tho-huck, a Native American name
that means “Bright Path.” (“Jim”). Still, he
didn’t have a bright early life. Thorpe’s twin
brother, Charlie, died when Jim was nine, and
his mother died shortly afterward. Thorpe
attended one Indian school after another in
Oklahoma, Kansas, and Pennsylvania before
his athletic talent was recognized.
Jesse Owens also had a tough childhood. He
was born in 1913 into a poor Alabama
family. They moved north to Cleveland,
hoping for a better life, but couldn’t find
one. During high schoo, Ovens worked so
many odd jobs that he couldn’t make
afternoon practices for the track team.
However, track coach Charlie Riley
recognized Owens’ talent and offered to
train him in the morning (“Jesse”).
As young adults, Thorpe and Owens used
their natural talents to achieve greatness. In
1911 and 1912, Thorpe led the Carlisle
Indian School varsity football team to victory
Facts and
over powerful teams such as Army,
statistics
produce a
Georgetown, Harvard, and Pittsburgh.
knowledgea Thorpe scored 25 touchdowns and 198
ble voice.
points in his last season, and he was named
All-American for two years running (“Jim”).
In the same way, Owens became a track
start in high school and college. At Cleveland
East High School, he tied the world-record
time for the 100-year dash. At
Ohio State University, he tied one world
record and set three more, all in less than
an hour and with an injured back! Owens
broke the broad-jump record by placing a
handkerchief at the old mark – 26 feet 2 ½
inches – and jumping nearly 6 inches
beyond it (“Jesse”).
These great American athletes then
went on to succeed against the world’s
best athletes. Jim Thorpe was chosen to
represent the United States in the
Stockholm Olympics of 1912. There he
easily won the pentathlon and set a
Decathlon score (8,413 points) that
wouldn’t be topped for 20 years (“Jim”).
The king of Sweden even declared Thorpe
“the greatest athlete in the world,” to
which Jim replied, “Thanks, King.”
(“Thorpe”). Twenty-four years later, in
1936, Jesse Owens represented this
country in the so-called “Hitler Olympics.”
Adolph Hitler believed the Aryan race was
superior, but as he watched, Owens won
four gold medals, breaking an Olympic
record and a world record. But Owens’
greatest accomplishment was winning
Quotations add
insight into
Owens’
personality.
the hearts of the German people. Even
Luz Long, the top German long jumper,
befriended Jim in front of Hitler. Owens
later said, “You can melt down all the
medals and cups I have, and they
wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-karat
friendship I felt for Luz Long” (“Track”).
Following their days of Olympic glory,
however, Thorpe and Owens both
returned to harsh realities. The Olympic
committee removed Thorpe’s medals
because of complaints about his
“professionalism.” (Professional)
athletes were not allowed to compete, and
An
Thorpe has earned $15 a week playing
explanation
minor-league baseball.) Thorpe returned to
makes the
meaning clear. playing baseball and football, became a
Hollywood extra, and finally ended up on
the recreation staff of the Chicago Park
District (“Jim”) Owens became a “runnerfor-hire,” racing against ballplayers,
motorcycles, or even racehorses
(“Biography”). “It was bad enough to have
toppled from the Olympic heights to make
my living competing with animals,” Owens
once said, “but the competition wasn’t
even
fair. No man could beat a racehorse, not
even for 100 yards” (“Quotes”). Unlike
Thorpe, though, Owens kept an optimistic
spirit, which launched him into a new
career: motivational speaking.
End of essay.
• Your ending should be strong since it contains
the last thoughts for your reader.
• The following are some ways to create a
strong ending.
• Reflect on the importance of your subjects.
Athletes such as Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens
paved the way for other athletes like Mia
Hamm and Tiger Woods.
• Provide an effective quotation.
Jesse Owens summed up his winning spirit
this way: “Friendships are born on the field of
athletic strife and are the real gold of
competition. Wards become corroded; friends
gather no dust.”
• Include additional information of interest.
In 1982, 30 years after his death, the Olympic
committee returned Thorpe’s medals to his
family.
Ending
Paragraph
The writer
revisits
the thesis
and
reflects on
the
importanc
e of the
subjects.
Eventually, these two athletes got the
recognition they deserved. In 1976, President
Ford gave Owens the Medal of Freedom, the
highest honor a civilian can receive
(“Biography”). In 1982, thirty years after his
death, the Olympic committee returned
Thorpe’s medals to his family (“Jim”). Jim
Thorpe and Jesse Owens overcame poverty
and prejudice to become two of the greatest
athletes of all time. Their accomplishments
live on in the sports they helped to integrate
and in the sports they helped to integrate and
in the world they helped to change.
REVISING
• When you revise, you improve your writing.
• You
– add important new information,
– delete unnecessary details,
– change the order of ideas,
– and rework parts that do not sound right.
Keys to
Effective
Revising
1. Read your essay aloud to get a feeling for
how well it works.
2. Be sure your thesis statement and topic
sentences are clear.
3. Check you supporting details. Do they work
and are they enough of them?
4. Consider your voice. It should sound
knowledgeable and engaging.
5. Check your words and sentences for clarity
and variety.
6. Use editing and proofreading marks.
COMPARATIVE ESSAY PORFOLIO CHECK-LIST

DESCRIPTION
Total Pts
Your Pts
1

FAMOUS-PEOPLE CHART
100
Due 10/01/12
2

GATHERING GRID
100
Due 10/01/12
3

NOTE CARDS
100
Due 10/01/12
4

100
Due 10/01/12
5

DETAILS LISTS
(4 Points of Comparison)
SENTENCE OUTLINE OF ESSAY
100
Due 10/01/12
6
FIRST DRAFT
300
7
REVISING CHECKLIST
100
8
EDITING CHECKLIST
100
9
FINAL DRAFT
500
TOTAL
1500
Famous-People Chart
1
GATHERING GRID
QUESTIONS
When and where was he
born?
What was his family like?
When did his talent first
appear?
What was his first big
success?
What was his biggest
success?
What happened after his
biggest success?
SUBJECT 1
SUBJECT 2
NOTE CARD
PARAPHRASE
NOTE CARD
QUOTATION
3
NOTE CARD
EXPLANATION
LIST DETAILS
SUBJECT ONE
SUBJECT TWO
CHILDHOOD
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
BEGINNING CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
MIDDLE CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
LATE CAREER
List details (3 to 4)
List details (3 to 4)
4
Sentence Outline of Essay
Two People + summary of main similarity = A
Strong Thesis Statement
1. [Point of Comparison]
Both of these subjects. . .
[Supporting Details]
A. Supporting detail one
B. Supporting detail two
C. Supporting detail three
D. Supporting detail four
E. Supporting detail five
5
Prewriting
★Write a thesis statement
Two
famous
people
Jim
Thorpe
and
Jesse
Owens
Summary
of main
similarity
Great
athletes
who
overcame
poverty and
prejudice
A strong thesis
statement
Jim Thorpe and
Jesse Owens
were great
athletes who
overcame
poverty and
prejudice.
REVISING FOR IDEAS
• When you revise for ideas, you assure that
the central similarity between the two
people is clear.
• You also decide whether you should include a
surprising contrast.
• Number 6 on the RUBRIC:
MY ESSAY SHOWS THE STRONG SIMILARITY
BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, AND IT IS FULL OF
SUPPORTING DETAILS.
Have I focused on a
significant similarity?
• You have focused on a significant similarity if
you show an important way that the two
people are alike.
• Start by checking your thesis statement.
• A weak thesis statement: Gloria Estefan is a
singer, as was Selena.
• A strong thesis statement: Singers Gloria
Estefan and Selena helped introduce Latin
music to the United States.
Read the following pairs of thesis
statements. Which one shows a
more important similarity
between the two people?
Substantiate your answer.
1. Queen Elizabeth I and Queen
Victoria came to the throne
because male heirs could not be
found.
2. Queen Elizabeth I and Queen
Victoria ruled during England’s
most powerful and profitable
periods.
1. Christopher Columbus and
Ferdinand Magellan believed they
could sail around the world.
2. The voyages of Christopher
Columbus and Ferdinand Magellan
changes the course of European
history.
1. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan
B. Anthony shared a vision of
equality for all women
everywhere.
2. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan
B, Anthony lived in the East but
traveled across many states.
How can a surprising
contrast improve my essay?
• A surprising contrast will add
interest to your essay.
• The contrast should point out a
significant differences between your
chosen subjects.
Decide which of each
pair of contracts is more
surprising.
1. Madeleine Albright and Condoleeza
Rice come from different parts of the
country.
2. Many of Condoleeza Rice’s foreignpolicy decisions completely overturn
those made by Madeleine Albright.
1. Bruce Lee was the most famous
martial-arts star, but Jackie Chan
is quickly overtaking him.
2. Bruce Lee’s fighting style was
derived from karate and king fu.
1. Hemingway enjoyed traveling the
world, while Faulkner preferred
staying in Oxford Mississippi.
2. Hemingway was more popular at
first, but Faulkner has become
very popular.
Revising for
Organization
• To revise for organization, be sure that your
beginning and ending work well and that
each middle paragraph covers a key point of
comparison.
• RUBRIC 6
THE KEY POINTS OF COMPARISON AND
TRASITIONSS MAKE THE ESSAY ENGAGING.
Do my beginning and
ending sentences work
well?
• You know your beginning and ending
sentences work well if your writing creates a
strong first impression and an even stronger
final impression.
• The best way to find out is to ask a classmate
to review the following sentences.
• Ask for a peer response. Have your partner
read your beginning and ending and then
answer the following questions.
Friday, October 5, 2012
• Continue writing your first draft.
• Once you finish your first draft, have it peer
corrected. CORRECTOR MUST WRITE NAME
ON PAPER AND SIGN.
• Re-write your first draft: DOUBLE-SPACED.
• SUBMIT your FIRST & SECOND DRAFTS
• Last day to submit – Monday.
EXPOSITORY WRITING
Explaining a Process
How-to Essay or Process Essay
How does a florist arrange a
bouquet? What’s the best way
to find hidden clues in a video
game? What are the steps to
building a bat house? How do
you set up a Web log?
When you explain how
to do something in an
essay, you are doing
expository writing.
Writing Guidelines
Subject: Something you
know how to do or
how to make
Form: How-to essay
Purpose: To explain a
process
Audience: Classmates
Prewriting
Select a topic
The purpose of your
essay is to explain how
to do or how to make
something.
To find a topic for your
essay, make a list of things
you know how to do or
make. You then put an
asterisk next to three topics
that you like the best.
To find a topic for his essay, Chen
made a list of thing he knew how
to do or make. He then put an
asterisk next to three topics that
he liked the best.
TOPIC LIST
Things I know how to do or make:
ride a mountain bike
make jiaozi (food)*
build (something)
create (something like a blog)
play shortstop in softball*
water –ski
draw Pegasus* (or something)
make an origami swan
FOCUS YOUR TOPIC
You should pick a how-to topic that
is the “right size” for an essay. A
topic that is too narrow won’t
provide enough information for an
essay. One that is too broad may
lack focus or run too long.
Chen decided that playing
shortstop was too broad and
drawing Pegasus was too narrow.
He selected making jiaozi for his
topic because it seemed to be the
right size for an essay.
“Try it!”
Write the heading “Things I know
how to do or make.”
List at least five ideas and put an
asterisk (*) next to the two or
three topics you like best. Then
focus your topic so that it is the
right size for your essay.
FOCUS ON THE TRAITS
IDEAS
A good how-to essay is more than
just a list of directions. It should
include details that will interest and
inform the reader. In order to do
this, choose a topic that you enjoy
and understand well.
Gather and Organize
Details
Ease your reader into the steps of
your how-to essay with some
background information. Chen
used interesting details and a
quote about the food to
encourage the reader to read on.
Other ideas are listed here:
• How you got interested in the topic (I
learned that there are more than 3,000
stuffings for jiaozi.)
• How you learned to make or do it. (My
mother taught me.)
• Why you enjoy it (Jiaozi is part of my
culture.
Once you have your
background information,
you’ll need a list of the
materials necessary to
complete the process.
Materials List
Dough
white four
cold water
salt
Filling
Ground port (one pound)
finely chopped cabbage-one cup
Finely chopped onion (a few
tablespoons)
Grated ginger
Time Line
Steps (chronological) first, second, et ceter