Transcript of Madeline Labriola’s Talk
As a cradle Catholic born in 1941 I grew up in a pre-Vatican II church. I admit I never
gave my potential as a church leader a second thought.
The priests were the leaders and I was a follower, not only as a lay person but even more
so as a woman.
I was devoted to church, always intrigued and mystified by the peace and comfort I found
there. I longed to be a part of the ceremony, joined the children's choir even though I
couldn’t sing a note; faithfully attended release time instruction and even attended daily
mass during Lent in my junior and senior year of high school. I rode with some classmates,
all boys mind you, to mass at 7:00 before school.
A Cabrini sister, young, vibrant and full of life opened the door in 6 or 7 grade to a deeper
understanding of life’s big questions. Why are we here? What is god’s plan for you? How
does one love God and serve humanity? As a teen I even played with the idea of becoming a
nun but my mother discouraged me because she said “I would hate to see you miss out on
the joy of having children”. She was right, my children have been my greatest joy and I am
still able to Love and serve God.
As a young mother of five children before the age of 30, I brought my children up in a
post Vatican II revolutionized church. I was renewed by the openness of our new
liturgies, the changes that brought me physically closer to the altar and to the priests and
sisters. I loved the music especially, and although I didn’t join the choir this time, I sat
close to the guitars and sing loud and happily the new joyful songs.
I taught CCD, directed the CYO for many years and became a lector. Through all this I
never would call myself a leader, and to this day still have to remind myself that yes! I am
a leader in my church and in my community.
The style by which I lead is very different from what I have witnessed in most men. I do
not stand up and preach, although I have given talks from time to time, but I lead by
gathering people close to me, around the dining table or a campfire, or working, as I did
for many summers, side-by-side on summer service projects with teenagers. I believe in
leading by example and admitting my doubts, sharing my struggles and listening, always
listening, to the other person’s story.
This quiet way of leading was modeled by the many religious sisters I have met and loved
throughout my life from my lovely elementary released time teacher to my spiritual
director, Sr. Elizabeth Anne.
These women taught me all I needed to know, not only theologically, but in the most
meaningful and beautiful way of listening: with a spiritual heart. I am so grateful they
were part of my formation and left their mark on my life.
Today, many people I meet have become non practicing Catholics. They speak up about the
lack of equality for women, of the sexual abuse scandals, the emphasis on abortion and
sexual issues as the reasons they have left the church. It is something I completely
understand. Sometimes the emphasis on these subjects while ignoring the issues of peace,
justice, environment and materialism has left me wondering why I don’t leave as well?
It is then that I remember the first spiritual director I was so privileged to meet in the
early 70’s. Fr. John was a Redemptorist who guided me through a difficult time in my faith
journey. He helped me see that what I was experiencing in the church was just the very
beginning of my life long journey of transition. He said that there was more, so much more
to know and to learn. He introduced me to Thomas Merton, Theilhard de Chardin, Pax
Christi and the Catholic Worker Movement. A whole new world opened for me, a world
where religion became action and service and God as Love instead of a bearded white man
on a throne passing judgment.
Finding Pax Christi led to meeting new people, many who had formal religious vocations and
many like me. In these groups we were all the same, humans trying to grow, learn and
change into the people God was calling us to be. This is when I began to assume a
leadership role, becoming the coordinator of Pax Christi Hudson Valley and in 2001 one of
the NGO representatives at the UN for Pax Christi International. In these roles I would
need continuous encouragement. I often wondered what I was doing in these positions, if I
were capable, talented or intelligent enough. I think it is this lack of self confidence that
prevents so many women from pursuing such a path. I was blessed that I had people all
around me who continued to encourage me and mentor me such as Sr. Jean Fallon, Marie
Dennis and Fr. Paul Lansu.
You see it all began when my third child was born, my first girl. I had an epiphany. The
Vietnam War was raging, the civil rights movement heating up. I was struck with terror as
she lay in my arms with her sweet innocent smile. She seemed so vulnerable and helpless. I
had to make the world a better pIace for her, I saw the uselessness of war. I had to work
for peace, to find a way to make a difference. I continued to struggle with this sense of
fear of the future through the birth of my next two children. With 5 children to raise
life was full and joyful but always with a tinge of sadness. What future were we promising
our children? In my search for an answer the Holy Spirit led me to Fr. John and his gentle
guidance. As you can imagine the next few years were filled with action from morning to
night leaving little time to pursue this passion that I had discovered. Somehow I held the
desire to work for peace and justice close to my heart until the time was right.
No I don't believe I have the power to change the Catholic Church’s formal leadership
structure but I think that women like me all over the world make a substantial difference
in affecting the everyday life of millions of women. A former student of mine, once a
novice and now a wife, mother and principal of a high school in Pennsylvania studying for
her PhD in theology said “I’m not sure leadership in the church means becoming ordained
but it is finding your true self and your voice and speaking out when ever you see
injustice.” It is this kind of leadership that women bring to the church.
When I was teaching physical education and we were demanding title IX to be enforced,
one thing I hoped was that girl sports would not become exactly like boys sports. All about
competition and winning at all costs. I feel the same way about the changing leadership
roles of women in our society as well as in our church. Let us bring all that is good about
being a woman, our compassion, honesty, fairness, forgiveness, kindness and love together
with the leadership skills of determination, hard work and intelligence.
I recently completed the GreenFaith, Fellowship program. It is an interfaith program for
religious leaders active in the environmental movement. It was so encouraging to meet
women from every major religious tradition finding encouragment and training to be
effective leaders in their church communities. Many were ordained ministers but most
were like me, an ordinary person being called to be a voice in the wilderness. Along side
the men these faith filled women are making speeches, writing books, organizing small
groups, collaborating with people from all walks of life to bring change. Even without the
sanction of their church they inspire other women to have their voice heard. And if the
church won’t allow them to have a title or have a formal role, these women will find ways to
move mountains on their own.
It is hard to say which of my life’s experiences made me choose to become a religious
leader. It is clear to me that my life has been enriched by my faith, that without the
spiritual base that I inherited from my family I would not be who I am today. I cannot
imagine my life with all its challenges, and successes to be anything but the work of God. I
continue to grow: reading, praying, exploring, asking questions and reaching beyond my
comfort zone to find ways to make a difference in the world. I live by the words of one of
my favorite hymns “Here I am Lord. Is it I lord? I have heard you calling in the night.” I
have spent my life listening to God calling me to become the person I was truly meant to
be.
I would like to end with a funny story that helped me to realize that I was well on my way
to becoming a religious leader. I was in attendance at a friend’s daughter’s wedding about
20 yrs. ago. His daughter asked me to say grace before the dinner. I was surprised since
two of the other guests were Catholic deacons but I felt honored and could not refuse. I
pondered over the prayer and decided that I would start with “Dear God, our Father and
our Mother”. I had just recently come to the realization that God was neither male nor
female and thought of it as an important awareness I wanted to share. Although my knees
were knocking I went ahead and opened in this way. I could hear and feel the shock of it
throughout the room and wondered if I had offended anyone. Throughout the evening
many women came up to me to thank me for saying this. Several had never heard it before.
I didn’t want to cause any controversy, but did want to raise consciousness. The best part:
The bride loved it!
I “humbly” join the ranks of millions of other “lay women” leaders and thousands of
religious women like the amazing Maryknoll sisters, who have changed the church in a
thousand different ways. I always wish it were faster and even more vigorous but it has
begun and I’m sure it cannot be stopped.
PS
I added this as I was going along since the morning sparked my memory for these moments
but I didn’t have time to add them and print it out.
I remember going to my first demonstration in NYC. A million people marched against
nuclear weapons. I told my students what I was about to do. I told them to look for me on
tv as this was the biggest anti-nuke march in history. On Monday I wore my purple ribbon
to school. They asked me why I went and I said “I want to make the world safer for you.
We don’t need nuclear weapons”. They agreed and everyone wanted to wear a purple
ribbon. I gave them a ribbon to wear even though I was nervous as to what their parents
might say.
After writing a letter to the editor protesting something the Catholic Church had said or
done I was shocked to read a rebuttal to my letter the following week. In the letter I was
called a “heretic”. I was so upset until I told my spiritual advisor and she said
“congratulations!” I smiled and said “I guess I have arrived!”
When I retired from teaching I finally got my chance to take part in civil disobedience
actions and chose to get arrested twice. I didn’t do so before for fear of losing my
teaching position. The local papers wrote a big story about me and many people
commented on my actions, my family and friends were very supportive and respected my
decision.