What does it look like?
The opening...
Arresting &
Original!
Main body...
Why are you going
to be the best
student of...?
The rest...
Activities and
Positions
Conclusion...
Last impression!
The opening...
MUST...
• Grab the attention of the
admissions tutor.
• Be interesting and
insightful.
• Show why you want to
study this course in a
‘nutshell’.
Successful applicant
As a child I was inquisitive and
liked to see how things
worked, often dismantling
objects beyond repair in this
quest for knowledge. This
process of investigation,
discovering, learning and
rebuilding continued through
Lego until I discovered Design
Technology.
Avoid commonly used
openings …
But … don’t struggle over the
opening sentence. Write the rest
and come back to it later.
Chemistry is an infinitely diverse subject. Perhaps the greatest aspect of this subject
is its vast breadth; it is the fulcrum of the explanations of so many of the processes
around us. A compelling example of this occurs when haemoglobin alters its
structure when different ligands are present, as it demonstrates how the placement
of electrons in orbitals can change the shape of the complex metal ion. This
exemplifies why I would relish the opportunity to study Chemistry to a higher level:
the explanations that it provides underpin so many other branches of science.
During a university residential summer school, I spent valuable time studying
Aerospace Engineering, and having the opportunity to attend lectures and practical
sessions increased my knowledge greatly. I particularly enjoyed learning about
variances in pressure over an aerofoil due to rotation, including the applications
and limitations of this, and testing the Young’s Modulus of many different
materials. This experience coupled with Physics has developed my determination to
complete a degree in Aerospace Engineering.
Main body
MUST...
• Explain motivation and
commitment to chosen subject.
• Include reasons for choosing this
course.
• Highlight experiences of this
subject.
• Show your interest and ability in
this subject.
• Give evidence of what you have
done to find out more about your
chosen subject.
• Make links to your future career
plans or aspirations.
Things you might mention...
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Books, newspapers,
magazines, journals etc
Trips, public meetings,
courses, taster days,
workshops and
conferences.
A project or coursework
piece that you
particularly enjoyed.
People you have
interacted with; experts
or professionals.
Placements and work
experience.
Summer schools.
Evening classes, clubs,
adult education
Main body cont..
Successful applicant
My academic studies have translated well into my work experience.
From my time spent at Windmill Veterinary Centre, I have learned
about the anatomy of animals, from radiographic imaging and watching
operations. My knowledge of human anatomy from Biology studies
allowed me to see the differences between species, and studying the
nervous system was useful when I monitored a dog with poisoning. The
drug action of phenobarbitone interested me. It resulted in higher
concentrations of chloride and hyperpolarisation of the resting
membrane potential, reducing the frequency of seizures. Similarly,
performing biochemistry and haematology blood tests utilised my
knowledge of chemical elements. Veterinary medicine embraces my
fascination for science, as I love the relevant and infinite nature of
science. “The Double Helix”, J Watson, portrays this, but also shows the
social and competitive aspects of science. I enjoy reading the New
Scientist to further my scientific knowledge, and have attended talks by
Sally Wise MRCVS on equine health. She stressed the importance of
research in the challenge to eradicate disease, such as the battle
against laminitis.
Main body cont..
My work experience has enabled me to understand the true meaning behind a
statement that I heard at a University Open day, that "Law is a framework for seeking
to address problems in society" as I oversaw first hand, how the law worked to deter
crime. Whilst shadowing legal advisors at the Magistrates court for work experience, I
was able to observe thirty nine court hearings and three court trials. The tasks carried
out such as examining the arguments of the prosecutor and defence, and collating
notes on the offenses presented before me, has shown me some of the key skills
necessary in order to prosper in law, for instance investigating data to solve problems
and preparing technical or research reports. The skills learnt from my AS level subjects
studied have supported me well in increasing my appetite for law. Studying Religious
Studies facilitated my perseverance, as I viewed it to be both challenging, yet
rewarding. The logical structure of learning the technical terms within religious
studies is a skill that has aided me in my competence to study law as it coincides well
with the logical, yet creative thinking of the law. It is my belief that the aptitude of my
skills for interpreting, scrutinising and analysing in depth, large pieces of text,
developed whilst studying English Literature and Language, will translate well into my
studies in further education as it is from this subject that my proficiency to defend a
position, a belief and a conviction came to life.
The rest...
MUST...
• Include anything that shows
you have general skills and
qualities that are valuable
to all students.
• Be different to the subject
specific skills you have
discussed in the main body.
Examples...
• Positions of responsibility.
• Contributions to the
community; at school,
home or elsewhere.
• Sports.
• Hobbies.
• Time spent abroad or
travelling .
• Worthwhile gap year plans.
The rest cont..
Successful applicant
Through playing the cello in various orchestras, netball for school and volunteering
for charity events, I have pursued a variety of interests, gaining invaluable
experiences. I have completed the Bronze and Silver Duke of Edinburgh awards,
developing my leadership and teamwork. Through commitment as a junior leader at
various youth groups, my relational skills across all ages has grown. Being part of a
large multicultural faith community has allowed me to see issues within my
immediate society from various viewpoints. Events like ‘Slum Survivor’ where we
built and lived in a slum dwelling for a weekend, gave me opportunity to personalise
what I had learnt about Sao Paulo and the great need in developing nations.
Working part time as a sales assistant at JJB Sports, my role involves working within
a team and answering queries, involving fast thinking. The current recession has hit
JJB Sports hard; it has been an intriguing experience to see its effects on a business.
The introduction of a CVA, the accused price fixing, forming of a cartel and
employment structure changes, were great opportunities to look at the theory
behind real events taking place around me.
Conclusion
You MUST end in one of the
following effective ways...
1. Summarise the whole
personal statement. Assert
that you are capable and
keen – gets the job done –
most common ending –
not particularly creative!
2. Echo the very start – a
circular structure which
gives the same idea as the
opening with a fresh idea
or twist!
Psychologically
the MOST
powerful!
Successful applicant
I appreciate only too well that I have
merely scratched the surface of the
subject at school. I now wish to deepen
my knowledge at university. To quote
Waugh, I want to be able to ‘do myself
full justice on the subject of Pindar’s
Orphism’, although Donna Tart’s book
Secret History suggests that I should
avoid proving too deeply the Orphic
Mysteries! I hope that my commitment
to and love of Classics will endow me
with sufficient skill to study this
demanding but rewarding subject.
Don’t...
• Lie!
• Test their plagiarism
software – it is highly
sophisticated and will pick
up anything over 30%
similarity.
• Pay anyone to write your
personal statement.
• Underestimate how
important this is in
determining your future.
• Leave it to the last minute.
Words/phrases to
avoid...
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Passionate
Always
Never
Nothing
Awful
Bad
Fault
Hate
Mistake
Panic
Problems
I
How much do I have to write?
• Electronic application.
• About 500 words (4000 characters including
spaces). This is about 1 side of A4.
• Write in Microsoft word.
Now what …
1. Plan your personal statement
– Use your ‘All about me’ booklet
– Spider-diagram / bullet point ideas.
Get advice off the
UCAS website
Remember …
You’ve got the
summer to get any
more evidence you
need!
Now what cont…
1. Draft your statement
– Show your draft to ONE person at a time for
feedback. (subject teachers, form tutor etc)
2. Write your final statement
– Get it proofread. (Literacy coaches)