Free-Response: Comparative Essay
Comparative is 1 of 3 different styles of essay.
Simplest in terms of structure but,
of course, difficulty varies with the prompt.
★ Introduction with THESIS
★ As many direct comparisons as you can
★ A conclusion paragraph
Must describe similarities &
differences & analyze why at least
one similarity/difference exists
Similarities:
Since, Moreover, Similarly,
As well as, Still, Likewise,
Also, furthermore
Differences:
But, However, Although, Though,
In contrast, Alternatively, On the
other hand, To the contrary
Solid Thesis - answers the prompt.
Each body paragraph should contain...
TASC:
Topic Sentence (direct comparison)
Analysis as to why the similarity/difference existed
Support with 3 pieces of evidence
Connect it to a larger global context or theme
The THESIS
How do I show analysis in the thesis?
A good rule to follow, or way to write it is to be sure
the 2nd sentence states:
“This similarity/difference was
most likely due to the fact that
__________.”
Analyze: determine their component
parts; examine their nature &
relationship.
“The ability to break down material into its
component parts so that its organizational
structure may be understood.
This may include the identification of parts or
components, examination of the relationship
between parts, recognition of hidden meanings
and detection of the organizational principles or
patterns involved.”
Analyze: determine their component
parts; examine their nature &
relationship.
Depending on what is being analyzed:
Historical actors: events, processes, institutions, ideas, etc.
Examination of multiple causation which looks at cause & effect relationships
Evidence determining the significance and reliability of various perspectives like
when point of view is analyzed.
Interpretations of what happened. Comparing & contrasting changing versions of
developments or theories.
Underlying structures: Determining how all the processes, institutions, ideas, events,
actors, motives, evidence, interpretations are connected & related & affect each other.
Overall process of change and continuity: Connecting different regions & eras
This is different from just explaining because of the need to look at multiple causation.
Thesis statement: Key to the entire essay. Start by
brainstorming similarities or differences making sure to go
beyond restating the question. A good thesis must:
1) specify the topic
2) answer the whole question asked (similarities and
differences, all elements of the prompt)
3) be more specific than the question prompt (the HOW)
4) analyze the cause for differences or reason for
similarities (the WHY)
Use the whole introductory paragraph to bring thesis together. Structure your
introductory paragraph in the following way:
- Topic of the essay (who, what, where, when)
- Similarities
- Differences
- Analysis (must refer back to similarities and differences in previous sentences)
Body Paragraphs: After introduction you must fill in the body
of your essay. Each paragraph should start with an
analytical topic sentence. This topic sentence must link
back to & expand on your thesis & contain the essence of
the comparison you are trying to make.
If we label our topics of comparison A & B -and- our points of comparison
1, 2, 3:
Body Paragraph I:
1 (A, B)
Body Paragraph II:
2 (A, B)
Body Paragraph III:
3 (A, B)
This allows you to spend the most time actually making & proving your
thesis.
You may have more comparisons to make depending on the question.
Try to make at least 3 main comparisons, but remember these are DIRECT
COMPARISONS between the two topics. Within each paragraph attempt to
create as many examples, direct comparison examples, as possible within
that topic.
Conclusion: This is the least important piece of
the essay but is a great opportunity to gain
expanded core points. Try to link the topic of
the essay to the broader story of history.
This is referred to as “global context”
Why are you conclusions important?
What does it show us about history as a whole?
Has the student related comparisons to a larger
global context?
Global context may be on a regional level OR on
a country level.
Thesis statement: this is the key to the entire essay. Start by brainstorming similarities or differences
making sure to go beyond restating the question. Remember a good thesis must:
1) specify the topic
2) answer the whole question asked (similarities and differences, all elements of the prompt)
3) be more specific than the question prompt (the HOW)
4) analyze the cause for differences or reason for similarities (the WHY)
Use the whole introductory paragraph to bring the thesis together. You can structure your introductory paragraph
in the following way:
- Topic of the essay (who, what, where, when)
- Similarities
- Differences
- Analysis (must refer back to similarities and differences in previous sentences)
Body Paragraphs: After your introduction you must fill in the body of your essay. Each paragraph
should start with an analytical topic sentence. This topic sentence must link back to and expand on
your thesis and contain the essence of the comparison you are trying to make.
If we label our topics of comparison A and B and our points of comparison 1, 2, 3 the best way to
structure the essay is:
I: 1 (A, B)
II: 2 (A, B)
III: 3 (A, B)
This allows you to spend the most time actually making and proving your thesis. You may have more comparisons to
make depending on the question. Try to make at least 3.
Conclusion: This is the least important piece of the essay but is a great opportunity to gain expanded core
points. Try to link the topic of the essay to the broader story of history.
Why are you conclusions important? What does it show us about history as a whole?
Interesting AP Tip
Grammar does not count
It helps because what you do write will be taken
more seriously. You seem more competent, but it
doesn't count!
All you have to do is...
make your argument.
Thesis may be 2
contiguous sentences
Short thesis -- better than a long
one
Thesis that is too long will
cost points
“Has acceptable thesis…”
Acceptable is a SUBJECTIVE term
What is NOT acceptable?
★ Restatement of the prompt into a
statement rather than a question
★ Split Thesis
★ Non-continuous thesis
Split Thesis Example: The prompt asks you to compare &
contrast. You write a two-paragraph essay where 1st paragraph
is about comparison & 2nd is about contrast. If you were to take
the first sentence from each paragraph and put them together,
you might have a decent thesis. The readers are not allowed to
do that.
Thesis has to be a stand alone paragraph.
A non continuous thesis Example: Sentence at the beginning
of 1st paragraph & a sentence at the end of the paragraph with
examples or information in between.
THESIS IS: Specific argument that answers the question. Nothing more, nothing
less.
Compare Luigi's Pizza & Torchy's Tacos according
to cost, taste, & overall eating experience.
In comparing pizzas
and tacos, they are
both similar and
THESIS IS: Specific argument that answers the question. Nothing more, nothing
less.
In comparing pizzas and
tacos, they are both similar
and different.
DO NOT DO THIS!
This is a Pizza/Taco Thesis. If you can exchange 2 things you
are comparing with Pizza/Tacos & it makes the same sense as
Han China & Roman Empire = Crime Against Humanity! And a
very incorrect thesis statement.
Han China and the Roman Empire share
many similarities and differences.
SIMPLE EXAMPLE QUESTION AND THESIS
Compare and contrast the Han Empire during 206
B.C.E.-220 C.E. with the Spanish empire of the
sixteenth century.
The specific argument here would include at least
one comparison and one contrast and reference to
both the empires and the time frames.
Many students may write:
“There were many similarities and differences
between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E-220
B.C.E. and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth
century.”
Unfortunately, this is not good enough for the AP
World History Test.
It is too general and more or less repeats the prompt.
SIMPLE EXAMPLE QUESTION AND THESIS
Compare and contrast the Han Empire during 206
B.C.E.-220 C.E. with the Spanish empire of the
sixteenth century.
The specific argument here would include at least
one comparison and one contrast and reference to
both the empires and the time frames.
With a simple addition and a bit of tweaking, you can make this thesis work:
“There were many similarities and differences
between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E.- 220
B.C.E. and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth
century. One was land-based and the other seabased yet they both grew rich from conquest of
territory outside their boundaries.”
SIMPLE EXAMPLE QUESTION AND THESIS
Compare and contrast the Han Empire during 206
B.C.E.-220 C.E. with the Spanish empire of the
sixteenth century.
The specific argument here would include at least
one comparison and one contrast and reference to
both the empires and the time frames.
You can make two sentences instead of one from the
second sentence:
“There were many similarities and differences
between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E-220 B.C.E
and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth century.
One was land-based and the other sea-based. They
both grew rich from conquest of territory outside
their boundaries.”
How to Write a Compare & Contrast Thesis
Some crucial points in writing a clear & analytic thesis.
Example Question
For several hundred years the Mongols ruled over both
Russia and China. After casting off Mongol domination,
both areas began a process of political and cultural
recovery. Compare and contrast these processes in
Russia and China.
1) Note the keywords in this essay prompt: compare and contrast. This means you must write a thesis that
expresses what China and Russia had in common and where they were different. In short, your thesis must
address the comparison.
2) Your thesis (and essay) should stay within the parameters of the question or prompt. An essay on
the Columbian exchange should not deal with the Swahili Coast of Africa .
3) Next, your thesis should state an opinion. Be bold. Do not merely restate the question or one of its
assumptions. To argue a point, you must first of all have one. The following is not an acceptable thesis; it
simply restates information given by the prompt:
Russia and China both gained freedom from Mongol domination.
4) Your thesis should contain the categories that you will use in the essay as evidence. Do not do this:
Bad The recovery of Russia and China after the Mongols had many similarities and
differences.
The above sentence is vague, wimpy, and is really just a restatement of an assumption in the prompt.
It is a fluttering of loose ends needing to be nailed down onto concrete categories.
Better When Russia and China recovered from Mongol
domination they had similar political goals but different
cultural goals.
This thesis is getting there. It at least declares in general categories
how the paths of China and Russia were different and how they
were similar after the Mongols. It has broken down (analyzed) these
things into categories that lend themselves to a well defined essay.
But it could be better.
Note the difference between the above thesis and the one below:
Best While both Russia and China built strong
centralized governments after breaking free from the
Mongols, Russia imitated the culture and technology of
Europe while China became isolated and built upon its
own foundations.
Think about this thesis for a moment.
It directly addresses the comparison (tells what they have in
common and where they were different.) It contains the
categories (political and cultural) on which the writer will hang
relevant historical facts, and the terms (foreign influence and
isolationism) on which the comparisons will be made. These
categories will form the paragraphs of the essay.
This thesis is a verbal engine sufficient to drive the type of essays that
could generate an 8 or a 9 on your APWH test, providing you
accomplish the other thesis requirements.
Comparative Structure for Essay
I. Introduction: Thesis & Roadmap
II. Body of Essay (Each paragraph should include):
A. 1st Sentence for each body paragraph should be a
comparative (a direct comparison sentence)
B. 2nd sentence then explains/analysis the direct
comparison in the first sentence
C. Then subsequent sentences in the paragraph should
provide at least 2 info statements/evidence in each
paragraph.
V. Conclusion
Keep in Mind:
* the thesis can only be counted as the thesis and not also as a
direct comparison
* use linking comparative words such as “whereas” to help set up
direct comparisons
* if in the comparative question there is a parenthetical qualifier
such as (political, economic, cultural), it is not required that
evidence is given for each. This parenthetical qualifier helps
students think about what to write.
Thesis Statement Construction
A thesis statement must
Fully address the question asked (not the one you'd prefer to
answer)
Take a position in answering the question asked
Provide organization categories to support your position (these
categories will be the subject of the topic sentences in the
main body paragraphs)
Example:
"Compare and contrast methods of political control of the Han dynasty
and the Roman Empire."
1st Paragraph - Show you understand the prompt. Answer the prompt briefly with a thesis statement.
Example:
"Both the Han dynasty and the Roman Empire were
bureaucratic. The central rulers all eventually became
hereditary and both empires had rulers that oppressed the
peasants in order to boost political control. However, the two
empires differ in that the emperors had varying justifications
for ruling and rose to power in different ways."
Body Paragraphs - Re-mention something from your thesis. Elaborate, analyze and explain it. Link it back to
your thesis & show how it is relevant/answers the prompt.
Example:
"The governments of Han China and the Roman Empire were
dominated by a bureaucratic government in which one ruler,
typically the emperor, had absolute power over the empire. The
emperor made most of the executive decisions and had the final
word on all government actions. This method of political
control allowed the emperor to rule with an iron fist and
discouraged rebellion."
Last Paragraph Restate your thesis and add a concluding remark. This is not as important as the body
paragraphs.
Scoring the Comparative Essay
Basic Core
Points
Is the thesis acceptable?
1
Does the students address all parts of the
question? (This is typically where the
discussion of similarities and differences is
scored.)
2
Has the students addressed most parts of the
question?
(1)
Has the student substantiated the thesis with
appropriate historical evidence?
2
Has the student done so partially?
(1)
Has the student shown at least one relevant,
direct comparison (similarity and/or difference)
between or among the societies?
1
Has the student analyzed at least one reason
for a similarity or difference identified in a direct
comparison?
1
Total
7
Expanded Core
Points
Does the student have a clear, analytical, and
comprehensive thesis?
Has the student addressed all parts of the
question thoroughly: comparisons,
chronology, causation, connections, themes,
interactions, and content?
Has the student given ample historical
evidence to substantiate his or her thesis?
Has the student related comparisons to a
larger global context?
Has the student made direct comparisons
consistently between and among societies?
Has the student consistently analyzed the
causes and effects of relevant similarities and
differences?
0-2
Total
2
The Confusing Part about Scoring
The thesis is worth one point according to all
writing rubrics, BUT not getting the point
for the thesis actually means that you
have lost more than one point. In fact, you
may not score any points at all.
This happens for all points in the basic core, but
since the thesis is the item that students miss
the most, it is the most important.
Essays are scored on a 0-9 scale, but they are
actually worth 20 points each.
Each essay score is multiplied by 2.22. If you
miss a point for the essay, you could end up with
a 6 instead of a 9. Those three points now
become 6.6 points.
See, it’s complicated!
Helpful Prompt Terms: Understanding the prompt properly is key to writing a good essay.
Analyze: Determine the nature and relationship of the component
parts of; explain; break apart. Tell “how,” “why” something
happened. It is like cause and effect.
Assess: Judge the value of character of something; appraise;
evaluate. Give it a grade: Good, Bad, Average
Compare: Examine for the purpose of noting similarities and
differences. When the questions call for comparisons, they
expect you to include differences as well.
Describe: Give an account of; tell about; give a word picture Tell
what it “looks like” in words.
Helpful Prompt Terms: Understanding the prompt properly is key to writing a good essay.
Discuss: Talk over; write about; consider or examine by
argument or from various points of view; debate; present the
different sides. Give more than one way to look at something
Evaluate: Give the positive and negative points; appraise; give
an opinion regarding the value of; discuss the advantages and
disadvantages Give it a grade: Good, Bad, Average
Examine/Explain: Make clear or plain; make clear the causes or
reasons; make known in detail; tell the meaning of.
Illustrate: Make clear or intelligible using examples. Tell what it
“looks like” in words
Helpful Prompt Terms: Understanding the prompt properly is key to writing a good essay.
Interpret: Explain the meaning, make plain, present your thinking
about (supported by historical evidence)
Trace: Follow the course over time; or pick 3-5 key points within
the time period established to show how an issue or condition
changed or remained the same. Sequence to show change or
continuity
To What Extent: How much? Understand both what was done
and what was still left to be done.
In What Ways: In what ways did an event or condition relate to
another? What ways are there to look at it?