Writing Diseases
The Symptoms
&
the Cure
Is this you?
The following is a list of
tragic & terrifying
diseases that your
paper may have.
Tensectasis
( ectasis= swelling, dilation)
Switching tenses
Literary papers are ALWAYS in
the present tense
No-quotesanemia
( anemia=lacking vigor)
A style analysis paper MUST have
quotes.
It’s your proof.
“Remember to use
quotation marks!”
Reader-aisis
( iasis= abnormal condition, presence of)
DO NOT write about the reader.
This is low register.
And are you so omniscient that you presume
to know what every reader thinks or feels
when they read a book?
Find a way to express what you’re saying
without writing about the reader.
Who wants to volunteer their sentence?
Awkwarditis ( itis= inflammation)
When you
try to cover up what you don’t know
use poor grammar
or
misuse vocabulary
your sentences become weirdly
convoluted, confusing, or overly wordy
Grammaroids ( oids= resemble)
Hey! Sentences need a verb,
noun, adjective, prepositions.
Sentences need a subject.
When you’re a famous fiction writer you can write
ungrammatically. Until then…
Semicolonpathy
( pathy= disease)
Sorry ( not really) but you can’t HANDLE the
semi colon.
You use it incorrectly & because you really
don’t know how to create a grammatically
correct sentence.
It creates sloppy writers.
You are forbidden to use it.
Vagueoma
( oma= tumor)
Be specific.
Vagueness does not convince me that you have
• analyzed
• understood
• or even read
•
the literature.
Convolutedosis
( osis= abnormal condition)
This, along with grammaroids and
awkwarditis causes
•?
Proofreadphasia ( phasia= speech)
• Read your paper OUT LOUD to yourself
• You will find many grammar errors &
awkward sentences
• For in-class timed writes, I am less
critical.
Prepositionplegia ( plegia= paralysis)
There are over 150 prepositions in the
English language. USE THEM.
“On” DOES NOT work for everything.
•
•
about
above
across
after
against
around
at
before
behind
below
beneath
beside
besides
between
beyond
by
down
during
except
for
from
in
inside
into
like
near
of
off
of
off
on
out
outside
over
since
through
throughout
till
to
toward
under
until
up
upon
with
without
according to
because of
by way of
in addition to
in front of
in place of
in regard to
in spite of
instead of
on account of
out of
Commaphobia
(phobia= fear)
Why do you fear the
comma?
It’s harmless.
• While there are many specific uses for commas,
nearly 85% of the commas used in written English are used
in a mere 3 situations.
• Know the basic rule for these 3 cases, you can use commas
in over four-fifths of the times you need to use commas.
• 1. Put a comma before a coordinating conjunction that
separates two independent clauses.
• 2. Put a comma after introductory words, phrases, or
clauses in a sentence.
• 3. Use commas to set off elements that interrupt or add
information in a sentence.
On-algia ( algia= pain)
• There are other prepositions
• On means on
• Any volunteers for their on-heavy paper?
• Duh-rrhea
( rrhea= you know)
Writing something obvious
“The author uses diction to display tone and
great imagery.”
Duh- really?
The writer uses words?
Amazing!
Closely related is
Understatementalgia ( algia=pain)
This reflects shallow analysis or understanding.
Ex: “The war deeply affects soldiers.”
Misplaced modifier-spasm
(spasm= involuntary contraction)
This along with grammaroids creates weird
sentences.
Be careful where you place modifiers in the
sentence.
EX: I saw a painting walking down the hall.
This-shows-that- pathy
( pathy= disease)
and
For Example–rrhexis
( rrhexis= rupture)
are closely related .
Using these words/phrases in your papers produces
low register.
Practice imbedding the diction/phrases in your
analysis
Other problems
(will the list never end???)
• I think…….I believe…. Write sentences in the
3rd person.
• Using no-no words: sort of, basically, good ,
bad.
• Do you have the no-no or dead word list?
• Using low-register vocabulary
Thesisabsentia
• Where is your thesis?
• Why didn’t you write one?
• Thesis= subject + opinion + plan( because)
• Vague thesis:
• Ex: “This paragraph has diction that shows tone
and characterization.
• What kind of diction?
• What are the tones?
• Who is being characterized?
There is a cure!
• Thanks to your teacher who regularly
diagnoses your Timed Writes you will be able
to cure your paper of these tragic diseases.
• Although some of these diseases CAN be
cured quickly, others take some time.
• Be patient.
• Practice excellent writing hygiene
There is a cure!
• Figure out what you are trying to say and simply
find /choose the best words to articulate your
thinking.
• Read the literature! It is impossible to write an
intelligent paper if you only read Spark notes,
read the novel too quickly, read while on
Facebook , Twitter or Instagram, or didn't pay
attention in class.
• Make an appointment to review your paper
with me. This will take 15 minutes or more.
• Once you get rid of your paper’s terrible
diseases, writing will become a………..