CH Key
- Before you jump right into the middle of facts, charts, etc., CHK, move
the reader in slowly so that you can hook them into wanting to know about your paper.
Anytime you write an introduction, think of these words: theme and thesis. You want to
begin your introduction by relating to the theme of the paper in order to relate to the
reader. Since your paper is about obesity, tell a story about an obese child/adult treated
poorly because of this. How about relating to television shows, movies, and how obese
people are portrayed. A quote from an obese person about their condition?
Anything that you can write about which will relate to the “theme” will help. Then end
you intro. with your thesis statement. Never place a graph in the opening paragraphmove this. Save the facts to follow the thesis.
Childhood Obesity
The definition of obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has
accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to
reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems. 12.5 million children and
teens (17% of the population) are obese (Bell 1). African Americas and Mexican
American adolescents ages 12-19 were more likely to be overweight, at 21 percent
African American and 23 percent, Mexican American, and 14 percent White (Childhood
Obesity 1). American Indian children 5018 were 39 percent (Childhood obesity). Older
children and teens are more likely to be obese compared to preschoolers (Bell 1). In
America childhood obesity is at an all time high and it’s the worst here than in any other
country. Childhood obesity is a problem everywhere. There are many side effects to
being obese; there are a lot of ways to prevent kids from being obese.
***CAK- do you see all the highlighted sentences? This means that every time
you see a new color, you begin a new “topic” within the same paragraph. Stick to the
topic sentence. If you are simply defining obesity and who is affects, then do not
introduce all these other ideas in this paragraph. Each fo the highlighted sentence could
be the makings of topic sentence in another paragraph. Take care of this. As a reader, I
cannot follow your train of thought at this point. Do not make it difficult on the reader
to know your intentions. Lay your plan out- your paper- and let them read easily and
understand .
There are many reasons for children being obese. The main ones are their diet,
inactivity, genetics, psychological factors, family factors, and socioeconomic factors
(Obese Children). Children are also obese because now most people live on the go,
eating fast-food and microwave dinners, the health of the American people has be
sacrificed (Obesity in America 1). Obesity in Children can lead to psychosocial problems,
cardiovascular risk factors such as hypertension, high cholesterol, and abnormal glucose
tolerance or diabetes (Bell 1). It can also lead to high blood pressure, poor self esteem
(Romero 1), acid reflux problems, and sleep apnea (Adams 1). It also causes orthopedic
problems and depression as a youth (Childhood Obesity 1). “Children who are obese are
at a higher risk of developing asthma, liver disease, early puberty, skin infections, and
behavior and learning problems (Obese Children1-2).” Being obese cause kids to be
bullied because of their weight. A child’s main motivation for wanting to achieve a
healthy weight is so that other children won’t bully them (Deardorff 1).”
There are two different groups of people to blame; parents the advertisers un
healthy food companies, and the schools. The parents are to blame because “children
don’t shop for the family’s groceries. Parents are responsible for putting healthy foods in
the kitchen at home and leaving un healthy foods in the store. You can’t blame kids for
being attracted to sweet, salty, and fatty foods; after all they taste good. But you can
control how many of theses they eat (Obese Children 1).” The advertisers for the
unhealthy foods are to blame because “the foods they serve have larger serving sizes, low
fiber content, and increase content of fat, sugar and salt in most fast foods.(Pakhare 12).” Some parents are blaming the increase on the availability of fast food. The
restaurants target kids with TV commercial appeal with popular toys or merchandise
appearing in kid’s meals. Food prices for healthy food are going up, so parents won’t buy
it so they can save money (Adams 1).”
There are many things to prevent and treat obesity in children. The most
important thing to prevent it is to be active. Physical Education and after school
programs are being cut from school budgets. Parents need to spend time with their kids
by playing outside with them or setting up play dates with other kids (Romero 1).”
Another way is to “eat healthier and increase physical activity, but it’s hard for your
child to do it alone so parents have to do it with them. Recent studies show that weight
loss is socially contagious. When one person perhaps a parent sheds pounds, it has a
ripple effect and increases the chances that children, spouse, siblings and colleagues will
slim down too (Obese Children 2).”
America is the most obese country in the world; one and three children are obese
(Obesity in America 1). Obesity is caused by diet, inactivity, genetics, psychological
factors, family factors, socioeconomic factors, parents, and fast food restaurants (Obese
Children 1). The older kids get the more obese they tend to be (Bell 1). Obesity can be
fixed but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and patience with parents, kids, and
advertisers.
Works Cited
Adams, Karen. “A Growing Problem: Obese Children in Tennessee. “Examiner.com. 12
July, 2010. Web. 28 July, 2011
Bell, J. “CDC Grand Rounds: Childhood Obesity in the United States.” Medscope.com. 3
Mar, 2011. Web. 28 July, 2011.
Childhood Obesity.” ASPE.hh.org. web. 28 July 2011
Deardorff, Julie. “Obese Children at Greater Risk of Being Bullied.” Chicago
Tribune.com. 3
May, 2010. Web. 28 July 2011.
Romero, Richard. “Childhood Obesity in the United States.”avadeanlewis.com. 20 July
2011. Web. 28 July 2011.
“Obesity in America.” Downtoearth.org. web. 29 July 201l
“Overweight in Children.” Heart.org. 29 Mar 2011. Web. 29 July 2011
Pakhare, Jayashree. “Fast Food Causes Childhood Obesity.” Ktradionetwork.com. 18
February 2011. Web. 30 July 2011.