Non-Fiction Writing
Whole School Writing Morning
using the Grammar Rainbow
With grateful thanks to Mrs Fowler
for leading our learning.
Improving our Non-Fiction Writing
Following on from our successful whole school
Fiction Writing Morning, the staff decided that it
would be good for us all to work together again,
but this time on a non-fiction genre.
They decided to use the story of Goldilocks
again, but this time to develop our report
writing.
Improving our Non-Fiction Writing
This time we worked in groups from the start.
Each group wrote its own report, then worked
through a variety of exercises, before trying to
use the techniques taught to write a better
newspaper report.
On the following pages you can see our first
attempts and our second drafts.
Group 1 – First attempt
Goldilocks
One sunny morning Goldilocks was strolling
through the forest. Then she found a little
cottage in the forest. She knocked on the door
and no one was there. So she went in. Then she
saw the porridge on the table and she tried the
first bowl on the table.
This had good sentences and a
title, but was telling the story
rather than being a report.
WOW!
Fantastic!
Group 1 – Second attempt
Goldilocks leaves House Bare!
The day before yesterday three angry bears came home and
discovered a horrible girl, who was always naughty, had broken into
their house.
Baby Bear said “Someone was sat in my chair and now it is broken, so
daddy bought me a new one and it is metal so no one can break it.”
The police are going to try and find Goldilocks so they can lock her up.
Daddy Bear had this to say, “I am so upset about this and now I am
going to lock the door and never ever leave the house again.”
This is what Mummy Bear had to say, “I am not bothered about it. We
can just buy all the new stuff that we lost.”
Wow! A pun in the headline, and
much better report writing,
including quotes. Well done!
Group 2 – First attempt
Breaking News!
A small girl has broken into three bears house. She
caused 50% damage to the house.
Mr Bear said, “I am very angry about the breaking of
Baby Bear’s chair. He will not stop crying, he is so
disappointed!”
The girl has been caught. She is now in her cell crying.
She says she feels sorry, but is this true? Is she just
trying to fool us so she can go back to the bears’ house
to break more things?
This had a title and quotes but
could do with more detail.
WOW!
Fantastic!
Group 2 – Second attempt
Goldie Locked up!
The police have today revealed the identity of the
cunning, young criminal involved in last weeks
woodland mishap. Miss Goldilocks, aged 9, from
Beehive Cottage, was caught red handed.
Baby Bear told us, “it was horrible, I’m still not
sleeping.” The bears came home to find their
house was trashed. They are now moving to a
new address.
Miss Goldie Locks has been sentenced to 9 years
at a home for troubled girls.
Wow! Another pun in the headline, and
focussed report writing, including
quotes. Well done!
Group 3 – First attempt
I was walking through a forest then, at
just that point, I saw three bears going
for a stroll. Then a little girl saw the
bears cottage and crept in. I went to
the window to see what she was doing
and she was eating from all three
bowls of porridge.
This was telling the story rather
than being a report and it had
no headline.
WOW!
Fantastic!
Group 3 – Second attempt
The Surprise Break-in News!
A young naughty girl seen fleeing
from a bears cottage. The bears were
devastated by the mess that was
caused by the golden haired girl. The
bears were annoyingly shocked by the
mess left behind from the naughty
girl.
Look at the difference! A headline and
a change in the style of writing to nonfiction looking at feelings. Well done!
Group 4 – First attempt
Goldilocks Steals Bears Porridge
NEWSFLASH: Little girl Goldilocks walked into the bears house.
Goldilocks sneaked into the bears’ house and ate their
porridge. She also damaged the bears’ property. Goldilocks
ate all of baby bear’s porridge and broke the chairs. She was
then found by the bears in baby bears bed.
Goldilocks had this to say, “I’m very sorry for going into the
bears house. I will never go into anyone’s house again.”
Some great report writing ideas,
including a headline. Could
there be better detail?
WOW!
Fantastic!
Group 4 – Second attempt
Baffled Bears!
Yesterday, the three bears, who had been for a walk, were angry
when they discovered that vicious Goldilocks had carelessly
broken into their beautiful house.
Goldilocks sneaked into the bears’ house and ate their porridge.
Father Bear was furious when he found out that Goldilocks had
broken in.
Father Bear screeched, “I am furious. I don’t believe it.
Goldilocks ate all of baby bear’s porridge and broke his chair. She
was then discovered in baby bear’s bed.”
Goldilocks then had this to say, “ I am so, so sorry. I will never go
into anyone else’s house again.”
An alliterative headline, opening
sentence and much more detail. Well
done!
Group 5 – First attempt
Disaster!
Yesterday when the bears came home they
got broken into. The person had eaten
their porridge, broken a chair, and slept in
their beds. And worst of all, the girl was
still sleeping in their bed. She ran away and
was never seen again.
A headline, and some good
ideas, but it ends like a story.
WOW!
Fantastic!
Group 5 – Second attempt
Burglar-Locks
Terrified bears of Growly Cottage speak of a shocking incident
that happened in broad day light at 7.30am yesterday.
Three bears came home from a walk in the woods to find
somebody in their cottage. Firstly they saw Baby Bear’s chair
was broken.
Daddy Bear said, “Baby Bear is very upset about his chair.”
Also Mummy Bear told us of her upset that somebody could
just help themselves to their steaming porridge.
In the end they discovered Goldilocks in Baby Bear’s bed.
Baby bear said, “wah wah!”
The police have Goldilocks in a cell.
A clever headline, opening sentence
and much better detail. Well done!
What a difference!
We were really impressed with how much the
children’s understanding of report writing
improved, and how much better their
sentences became.
This is all the children’s own work. Staff acted as
scribes and prompts only.
We are looking forward to using these ideas to
improve our individual writing. Watch this
space for some examples!