Life History Interview
Kristina Reinholtz
Dance 1010 Professor Therese M. Boone
Thesis Statement
This paper is about the Tongan culture in the words of a first generation Tongan born in the
States. Both of his parents were born in the Kingdom of Tonga and later moved to California where they
met and married. I choose the Tongan culture because I have met a lot of Tongans since moving to Utah. I
wanted to know more about the Tongan culture. Tongans are very expressive with their facial expressions
and are very comfortable with showing affection. Tongans will give family members or friends a kiss on
the check to say hello because handshakes are considered very informal. The interviewee for this paper
will be anonymous and known as J through the paper.
Research Methods
The person I interviewed is J. I choose J because he is really easy to talk to and knows a lot about
his culture. I was able to observe J interact with others from his own culture while at work. I have been
working with J at the United States Post Office for three years. Most of our conversations took place on
our breaks and lunches. While conducting the interview I expected to gain a greater understanding of
the Tongan culture. I tried to set up an interview a few times with J. He had a lot of family obligations we
had to work around. I unable to set up a formal interview with him, we did the interview through email
and text messaging. I tried to use open ended questions for the interview. J was able to articulate his
thoughts very well. I learned a lot about the Tongan culture. I think I understand J a lot better now. I
have gained a better understanding of why he does some of the things he does and says.
Discussion
I tried to go into this interview without bias. The ranking system is a little confusing to someone
outside the culture. It is hard to grasp the concept that they have to do what they are told by someone
that is a higher rank than they are.
I find the fact that the meaning of family includes the extended family not just the nuclear family
very interesting. In American culture we stay focused on the nuclear family. The Tongan culture is very
friendly and family-orientated. Their moral values are passed through generations. Their culture has a
strong family support system, a respect for woman, and strong generational ties. J does not feel as if he
has been influenced by the interaction with the privileged American culture. He thinks that his culture
has a strong influences and values instilled by their elders and the American culture is only present
outside of the household (school and work). J does not feel that his culture has changed very much.
They have changed things in their culture because it does not fit with the American culture. They have
changed the way they dress and interact with others outside of their culture.
J comes from a large family he has: a father, mother, five brothers, two sisters, aunts, uncles,
cousins (first cousins are considered brothers and sisters), and nieces and nephews. There are three
types of family Blood (those you were born into), those you create (offspring and marriage), and those
that become family (closest friends). Family as a whole is extremely important, however, the individual
female members will always come first. Each family member has certain rights and responsibilities:
Mother and father are the head of household (must be shown the upmost respect) they are in charge of
the raising, providing for and disciplining the children. The eldest son (must show the upmost respect,
word is final and law) is responsible for taking care of his younger siblings to help them find their way in
life. Once old enough he is responsible for helping his parents. The eldest daughter (given the utmost
respect) outranks the eldest son and will become the highest member of the family to all the brothers’
created family. The eldest aunt (either by birth or the one living nearest to you) is the most important
family member and will be present at all family function involving her brothers’ family.
In the American Tongan culture they speak a combination of Tongan and English. The Tongans
stay true to the rule of not disrespecting the elders (no swearing or showing attitude); the same rule
applies when men speak to women. I feel that this is one thing the American culture has lost. I was
raised to respect my elders and have raised my daughter the same way but I see others that do not care
about their elders and show no respect. Tongans use their hands to talk as well as scratch their heads
when irritated or angry. Crossing your legs in front of the opposite sex is disrespectful because you show
the bottom of your feet. Tongans will portray their emotions or reactions with facial gestures. They also
use their eyebrows to convey yes, no, I agree, and disagree. Direct eye contact only happens when
speaking to someone within your generation and with members of the same rank as you. Direct eye
contact is seen more as a challenge to those you are speaking with. Public displays of affections of the
opposite sex in front of family members are greatly frowned upon. Family and friends greeting each
other do so by kissing on the cheek, regardless of gender. It is equal to a handshake in American culture.
As children, male and female members are kept apart for the most part. Tongans growing up in America
allow kids to play together no matter what gender without it being taboo.
The Tongan culture enjoys getting together and eating. Their culture is centered around food.
Anyone visiting, any celebration, or tragedy is accompanied by traditional food. Days before the event,
families come together to cook in preparation for that particular event. Polynesian food is eaten at every
big event like weddings, baby showers, births, celebrations, funerals, etc. J’s parents cook a lot of pork,
lamb, and seafood. Typical Tongan food would be anything with taro, pork, seafood, chop suey, and
lamb. Eating with hands isn't frowned upon at all in the Tongan culture. Seating arrangements are only
relevant when dealing with higher ranked members outside the family.
Tongans in America wear modern clothing except they wear traditional clothing for special
occasions. Traditional clothing depends on the ranking of the family the “higher” and “lower” ranks
wear different cloths. Death is always followed by the wearing of black clothing for a period of time
depending on the relationship to the deceased. This is one tradition lost to the newer generations. Time
periods aren't followed as much now as they were with the elders growing up on the islands.
Tongans celebrate Mother/Father's Day, Christmas, King's Day (birthday of the King), Miss
Heilala. Here in the states, most holidays are observed as the new generation adapted to American
culture. Most holidays are based on religious beliefs (Catholicism/Christianity are the main religions).
King's Day and the Heilala pageant are traditional. Every celebration is intertwined with dance. Dance is
a huge part of the Tongan culture to this day. The dance is almost like a Hula dance but it is much slower
and more precise. Punctuality isn't very important as long as the job is done or the event will continue.
In a gathering, groups are based on rank and generation. Sometimes, depending on the wishes of the
elders, gender also plays a role.
Dance is a very important part of the Tongan culture. Most dances are designed for woman.
When males dance their dance movements are much more masculine. This is due to many of the dances
being very effeminate. Sensual connotations in dance are very taboo. The dances are performed by
children as well as adults. They are performed for family and friends. Having any connotations would be
frowned upon and show much disrespect. Every dance is very elaborate. Both male and female wear the
tupenu (looks like a skirt) made of fala weaved together and decorated accordingly to masculine and
feminine. The Tongans have held onto their traditional dances throughout time.
J has not cared about the privileged groups in America or paid them any attention. His parents
say they came here to give them a better life but the simple life of the islands is always tempting to him.
Being in the US as a first generation has not been easy for J. He thinks if he keeps working hard, the
future generations will reap the benefits. He continues to struggle through modern America to give
what he can to the next generation. He thinks Tongans are stereotyped as being criminals or thugs. This
is due to the media and coming from a minority that is dominant in Utah. Most prejudices come from
white individuals who may see him in public areas or shopping centers, etc.
Conclusion
I have learned so much about the Tongan culture. I really like the fact that the Tongans are
family oriented. I find it interesting that they have so much respect for women in their culture. I have a
greater respect and understanding of the Tongan culture. I really enjoyed learning that even though the
males are higher the females are the ones that rule the house. . The females will always be more
important and respected. Whatever the female says goes. The ranking order took me a long time to
figure out. J had to explain the order to me a few times. I think I will feel more comfortable around
other Tongans now that I have a better understanding of their culture and their ranking system. Lt
surprised that they still celebrate the Kings Day even though they no longer live in Tonga. I did not know
that Tongans were considered criminals or thugs by society. I learned that Tongans use a lot of different
kind of gestures to communicate.