Communication
and
Conflict Management
in Special Education
DoDEA Center for Early Dispute Resolution (CEDR)
Camp Lejeune
November 2-3, 2010
Anita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist, CADRE
Leila Peterson, Executive Director, SchoolTalk
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CADRE Priorities
• Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills
• Implement effective dispute resolution processes
• Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration
• Assist states to implement dispute resolution provisions of IDEA
• Support improved state system performance
• Compile information and data on state systems
• Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution
2
Major Activities
CADRE Website
Over 900 individual resources
CADRE Continuum of Process & Practices
Over 70 individual state/local ADR examples
RAISE DataBase
Over 240 abstracted research/practice articles
Symposia Gallery ~ All presentations materials from 2005 National
Conference on IEP Facilitation & 2006 National Symposium on
Dispute Resolution in Special Education
Español
9 translated resources, primarily directed at family members
Rich Media
Flash videos on CADRE, Listening Skills (English & Spanish),
Understanding Interests (English & Spanish), Tale of Two
Conversations and Study Guide
3
Major Activities (cont.)
Developing Community, Creating Partnerships &
Leveraging Resources
NPTAC/RPTAC/State PTIs/CPRCs
NASDSE/IDEA Partnerships/Project FORUM
NICHCY – National Dissemination Center
RRCs/Dispute Resolution Workgroup
COP Listservs: Mediation/ADR, State Written Complaints, Due
Process Hearings
National Symposia
First National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2000)
Beyond Mediation: The Second National Symposium on Dispute
Resolution (2002)
Moving Upstream: The Third National Symposium on Dispute
Resolution (2004)
National Symposium on IEP Facilitation (2005)
On the Road to Agreement ~ IDEA ’04 & More: The Fourth National
Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2006)
4
Major Activities (cont.)
Data
SPP/APR Analysis
"Longitudinal DR Database" - Table 4 and Table 7 summaries
online (5 years of data online)
State-Specific Work
Dispute Resolution System Integration and Performance
Enhancement (DR SIPE)
Looking To The Future
Exemplar Work
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CADRE Activities Result in…
• Earlier dispute resolution
• Vibrant communities of practice
• State dispute resolution system improvement
• Compilation of research and evaluative data
• Information on national dispute resolution use and
outcomes
• Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills
• Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution
processes
6
Workshop Objectives
Participants will gain an awareness of:
• the sources and dynamics of conflict.
• different styles for approaching or managing conflict.
• ‘listening to understand’ as an essential relationship
and communication skill.
• the difference between ‘positions’ and ‘interests.’
7
Workshop Objectives (cont.)
Participants will become:
• familiar with the continuum of special education
dispute resolution options, including innovative
approaches to prevention and early resolution.
• aware of skills required to promote positive parentprofessional relationships and increase productive
communication.
• familiar with CADRE, The National Center on
Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Special Education.
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Assumptions…
•
Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and
changing society
•
Most parent/school relationships are or can be
positive and mutually respectful
•
Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented
that facilitate productive relationships
•
Culture influences an individual’s perspective on
conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached
•
Workshop participants are already skilled at
communicating, negotiating and problem-solving
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CONFLICT
What does the word
“conflict” bring to mind?
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Two Definitions of Conflict
Any situation in which people have apparently
incompatible interests, goals, principles, or
feelings . . .
~~~
 Expressed or repressed struggle
 Two or more people
 Interdependent relationship
 Strong emotion
 Perceived blockage of needs and/or values
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When a conflict escalates, resolution
becomes more difficult because:
• Tactics go from heavy to light
• Positions become more polarized and risk
averse
• Number of people involved expands
• Issues expand
• Specific issues move to general issues
• Motivations change:
Doing well  winning  hurting other
D. Pruitt and S. H. Kim, Social Conflict (3rd ed. 2003).
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Psychological changes occur
in individuals
•
•
•
•
•
Ambiguous actions are seen as threatening
Inhibitions against retaliation diminish
Communication is reduced
Empathy is reduced
Zero-sum thinking increases (problemsolving won’t work)
13
Group dynamics reinforce conflict
•
•
•
•
More militant leadership emerges
Runaway norms are established
Contentious group goals dominate
Group cohesiveness increases
14
Communities become polarized
• Neutral community members are
recruited
• Tendency to support the side that
seems less blameworthy
15
Costs of Conflict
• Financial costs
• Educational costs: takes energy away from
instruction, can interfere with needed
consistency
• Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord
• Relationships: hurts relationships among people
who have to work together
• Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided;
bad press for special education; missed
opportunities
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Sources of Conflict
Structure
Data
Relationships
Values
Interests
17
The Five Conflict
Handling Modes
Personal Goals
Controlling
Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Relationship Goals
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Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument
Avoiding
Personal Goals
• What is it:
•What –
is Sidestep,
it:
postpone, or withdraw
Sidestep,
frompostpone,
the issue or
forwithdraw
the present
from the issue for the present
• When
•When
to useto
it?use it?
– When
potential
outweighs
When
potential
harm harm
outweighs
benefits
to resolve
benefits
to resolve
When
time istime
needed
to collect
– When
is needed
to collect
information
or coolordown
information
cool down
Relationship Goals
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Personal Goals
Accommodating
• What is it?
– Sacrifice your own personal goals to
satisfy the concerns of the other(s)
– Yield to another point of view
• When to use it?
– When relationships are most
important
– Reach a quick, temporary solution
Relationship Goals
20
Personal Goals
Controlling
• What is it?
Pursue own ends without agreement of
others
Achieving one’s goals is paramount
• When to use it?
When unpopular actions must be
implemented
When dire consequences will be the
result of inaction
Relationship Goals
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Personal Goals
Compromising
• What is it?
– Quick, mutually acceptable
alternatives
– Both parties give up something
• When to use it?
– When two parties of equal power
are strongly committed to mutually
exclusive goals
– To achieve temporary solutions to
complex issues
Relationship Goals
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Personal Goals
Collaborating
• What is it?
– Identifying concerns of each person and
finding alternatives that meet both sets of
needs
– Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs
and concerns of both people
• When to use it?
– When relationships & issues are both
important
– To gain commitment and acceptance for a
high-quality decision
Relationship Goals
23
The Five Conflict Handling Modes
Collaborating
Controlling
Personal Goals
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Relationship Goals
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Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument
What are Your Values?
Achievement
Advancement/Promotion
Adventure
Affiliation
Balance
Challenging Problems
Change/Variety
Close Relationships
Community
Competence
Competition
Cooperation
Creativity
Decisiveness
Economic security
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Ethical practice
Excellence
Excitement
Fame
Family
Fast Pace
Flexibility
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Growth
Health
Helping Others
High Earnings
Integrity
Independence
Involvement/participation
Job Tranquility
Knowledge
Loyalty
Meaningful work
Money
Order (stability)
Physical Challenge
Personal
Development
Precision Work
Pressure
Power/Authority
Quality
Recognition
Respect
Reputation
Security
Spirituality
Stability
Status
Time Freedom
Tradition
Trust
Work Alone
Work w/Others
_____________
_____________
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Pay Attention to Culture!
Cultures have different ways of responding to conflict.
Culture shapes status, relationships and social
behaviors with regard to conflict resolution.
Recognize that many people communicate and process
information differently.
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Listening
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EARS
The Chinese characters that make
up the verb “to listen” tell us
something about this skill.
28
Communication Loop
Sender
Receiver
Message
Filtering Lenses
Reflective Listening
29
What Contributes to the
Meaning of What We Hear?
Intonation, Inflection, Volume, Speed, and Vocabulary
=____%
Appearance, Posture, Gestures, Clothing, Surroundings
= ____%
Verbal = ____%
38% 55% 7%
From “Listening to People,” Harvard Business Review
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Attending & Following Skills
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Environment
Posture
Contact (distance, eyes, touch)
Acknowledgment Responses
Gestures
Door Opening Questions
Open-Ended Questions
Interested Silence
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Responding Skills
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Reflecting Feeling
Reflecting Content
Reflecting Meaning (linking feelings
and content)
Validating
Empathizing
Clarifying
Summarizing
32
“Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.”
Stephen Covey, “Habit 5”
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
33
Listening to Understand
Reflect Back:
Feeling
Content
Meaning-Values
34
Three-part Listening
1 speaker (1-2 minutes)
3 listeners:
1 listens for content (facts and thoughts)
1 listens for feelings (spoken/underlying)
1 listens for values
All listeners paraphrase what they heard
35
Listening is a Disciplined Skill
•
You can’t do two things at once if
one of them is listening well.
•
•
You can’t listen if you are trying to
figure out what to say.
•
You can’t listen if you are assuming.
36
“The most cost-effective component
of a dispute resolution system is
listening.”
Mary Rowe
MIT Ombuds & Scholar
37
Listening Video
http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm
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Structure of Problem Solving
 Sharing Information
 Identifying Interests
Generating Options
Evaluating Potential Solutions
Reaching Agreement
40
Positions & Interests
http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm
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Positions & Interests
Position
• Specific solution proposed to resolve problem
- the “WHAT”
Interest
• Underlying real need or desire that gives a
position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations,
values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns)
- the “WHY”
42
43
Finding the Interests
• What need is the person taking this
position attempting to satisfy?
• What is motivating the person?
• What is the person trying to accomplish?
• What is the person afraid will happen if a
demand is not fulfilled?
44
Questions to Elicit Interests
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
“What would having that do for you?”
“What would that mean to you?”
“What would be different if you had that?”
"Why is that solution so important for you?“
“Why are you suggesting…?”
"What if that did/didn't happen?”
“How will you be affected by…?”
45
What are Possible
Underlying Interests?
• “It’s not appropriate to provide 30
minutes of speech therapy 5 days a
week.”
• “We [parents] want an American Sign
Language interpreter in that English Lit
class.”
• “I demand an apology now!”
46
Power Imbalances
Inherent in Conflict
•
Actual and perceived power may differ
•
Participants may not be equipped or supported
to participate effectively
•
Cultural differences may contribute
•
Recognize there are formal and informal forms of
power
47
Addressing Power Imbalances
•
•
•
•
•
•
Advocacy
Cultural Competence
Student Involvement
Well-facilitated processes and trained participants
Well-built relationships
Skilled neutral third party helpers
48
Facets of Conflict
Problem
49
Responding to High
Energy People
•Attending Strategies
•Responding Strategies
50
Structure of Problem Solving
Sharing Information
Identifying Interests
 Generating Options
Evaluating Potential Solutions
Reaching Agreement
51
Brainstorming
•Develop as many options as possible
•Thinking of an option does not mean
committing to it
•No evaluation of options
•All ideas are welcome
52
Techniques for Generating Options
•
•
•
•
•
•
Focus on specific interests
Assess needed information
Turn complaints into options
Encourage behavioral options
Shift perspectives
Let there be silence
53
Structure of Problem Solving
Sharing Information
Identifying Interests
Generating Options
 Evaluating Potential Solutions
Reaching Agreement
54
Evaluating Potential Solutions
•Establish objective criteria
•Compare solution to criteria
•Is this option acceptable to all?
•How realistic is this?
•What obstacles exist?
55
Interest-based Negotiation
• Aims not to change the other person, but to change
negotiation behavior.
• Shifts from ”your position versus mine” to “you and I
versus the problem”.
• Involves a mutual exploration of interests to yield
more creative options.
• Uses objective criteria.
Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation,
CCSEA 2001 Fall Conference and AGM. Surry B.C., Canada. CCSEA;
Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes
56
Structure of Problem Solving
Sharing Information
Identifying Interests
Generating Options
Evaluating Potential Solutions
 Reaching Agreement
57
Make a Plan
•Be specific
•Who? What? When? Where? How?
•What if…? (contingency plans)
58
Facets of Conflict
Problem
59
Educating Our Children Together:
A Sourcebook for Effective
Family-School-Community Partnerships
Strategy 1:
Strategy 2.
Strategy 3.
Strategy 4.
Strategy 5.
Strategy 6.
Strategy 7.
Strategy 8.
Creating a family -friendly school environment
Building a support infrastructure
Encouraging family involvement
Developing family-friendly communication
Supporting family involvement on the home front
Supporting education opportunities for families
Creating family-school-community partnerships
Preparing educators to work with families
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Developed by CADRE
(the National Center for
Appropriate Dispute Resolution in
Special Education), in association with
Leila Peterson and CEDR (DoDEA’s
Center for Early Dispute Resolution)
Contact information:
Anita Engiles, oregonmediator@gmail.com
Leila Peterson, Leila.Peterson@schooltalkdc.org
Ellen Wayne, Ellen.Wayne@hq.dodea.edu
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