Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddlers
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
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What are your room agreements with the whole staff?
Do you want your children walking around unengaged? For how long?
Do you want children crying without assistance? For how long?
Do you want snot on the children’s faces? For how long?
How long is it okay to have a dirty diaper?
Do you want to communicate with parents? How and when?
Do you want staff members to talk about each other behind their backs? How will you help them?
Do you want to encourage your staff? How?
“Ways We Want To Be” Poster
Take pictures of how you want your School Family to be and put them on a poster for parents.
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Discipline is like a dance — a country western two-step that fosters attachment
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Slow-Slow = represents the relationship we must establish that guides all development.
Quick-Quick = actions we need to take in moments of upset or conflict.
Healthy attachment
• Slow-slow attunement regulates positive states through social game play. The goal is to help
the child stay in “the zone” with just the right amount of stimulation.
• Quick-quick composure and empathy regulate negative states through downloading calm and applying a S.T.A.R. program (composure) plus using the D.N.A. process (empathy) with upset states.
Executive State
(Prefrontal Lobes):
What can I learn from this?
Self-regulation system
Emotional State
(Limbic System):
Am I loved?
Attachment system
Surviv
(Br
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
In the first three years of life, we develop:
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Mental model of self
Mental model for relationships
Stress management
Ability to pay attention
Motivation to achieve
Mirror neurons: When we see our emotions on another’s face, we will automatically sense the same
feeling.
Neuroplasticity: Ability of the brain to form new neural pathways. Brain integration comes from
face-to-face connection.
Rituals: Creating a Caring Culture
Rituals are the most important part of creating a School Family™. The goal of rituals is connection. Rituals
are sacred spaces designated for togetherness and unity. They soothe the lower centers of the brain and
produce a calming effect. They are the glue that holds the School Family together.
Twinkle, Twinkle
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!
With bright eyes,
And nice round cheeks. A
talented person, From
head to feet.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Connection = Cooperation
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The motivation to behave comes from being in relationships.
Connection literally wires the brain for impulse control and willingness.
Ingredients for Connection
❑ Eye contact
❑ Gentle, appropriate touch
❑ Being present in the moment
Connection
❑ Activates willingness
❑ Impulse control
❑ Attention system
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Playful interaction
Disconnected children are disruptive
tart:
The Brain Smart Start is a way to help children and adults reach an optimal level of arousal for learning,
engagement and attunement. It consist of four parts:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Activity to Unite: Are we on the same page? Unite through joint attention.
Activity to Disengage Stress: Are the children organized or in distress? Download calm.
Activity to Connect: Are children responding to connection? Requires attunement (a dance).
Activity to Commit: Am I present, preoccupied or dismissing their state? Commit to a goal.
The Brain Smart Start occurs in three contexts with infants and toddlers:
1. Group Brain Smart Start at circle time with three-year-olds.
2. Staff Brain Smart Start every morning and during transitions throughout the day.
3. Individual Brain Smart Start to all interactions.
Activity to Unite
This activity is about helping everyone to be on the same page as much as possible.
Joint attention is the process of sharing one’s experience of observing an object or eventby
following gaze or gestures. It is the shared focus of two individuals. Joint attention is a
fundamental goal during the first year of life and critical for the development of executive skills. This nonverbal communication is the foundation of social, cognitive and language development. Joint attention
emerges around nine months and is well established by 18 months of age.
Example of joint attention: An 11-month-old boy sits on the floor with his mother. There is a pile of
blocks between them and the mother is building a tower. Suddenly the tower falls down. The boy smiles
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
and looks at his mother, then down at the messy pile of blocks, then back at his mother, as if to say, “Hey
Mom, did you see that? The tower fell down!” (Infant, adult, object shared attention)
An important distinction: requesting vs. joint attention: When a child points to something she
wants and shifts her gaze to the parent and then back to what she wants, the purpose is non- social. This
is a request for an object, not joint attention. Children with autism are generally pretty good at
requesting what they want.
When a child points to something, not because she wants it but because he/she wants to show it to
someone else, the purpose is social. This is the joint attention we want to develop. In general, children
with autism are not interested in these kinds of social interactions.
When to get help:
• Not following eye gaze at 9-12 months
• Not following caregiver pointing at 10 months
• No true attention (hey, look here) at 12 months
• Not pointing to objects to share attention at 14 months
Activity to Disengage the Stress Response
This activity must be done by the staff all day, everyday. The adult’s energy regulates the energy of the
children. The classroom is not safe without calm, attuned, present adults. Help toddlers learn the four
calming strategies of Conscious Discipline.
S.T.A.R = Smile, Take a deep breath, And Relax.
Drain = Tense your arms, shoulders and neck, then relax with a “Ssssshh.”
Balloon = Arms on top of the head and breathe in, raising your arms like a balloon. Exhale with
a “Pbpbpbpbpb."
Pretzel = Cross arms and cross legs. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Breathe.
For infants: Hold them on your chest or lap. Download a state of calm through deep belly breathing and
relaxing.
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Activity to Connect
Conduct I Love You Rituals throughout the day as frequently as possible with each child, duringBaby Doll
Circle Time and in a small group.
Activity to Commit
Help three-year-olds learn basic routines and commit to practicing them at circle and throughout the day. Each
staff member is to make commitments each day to help stay attuned and present.
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“I am going to do four I Love You Rituals with Abraham today.”
“I am going to help Maddie hold up her hand to get a turn today.”
Possible group commitments:
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Listening ears
Kind words
Gentle touches
Helping hands
Stop and Go Activities
Stop and go activities teach children how to self-regulate. They stimulate and develop the prefrontal
lobe. They teach children that “stop” is the action of ceasing movement. Use the action word “stop”
instead of the word “no.”
Infants learn to self-regulate their internal states in dynamic interactions with caregivers. They cannot do it
alone. It requires a calm and coherent adult to model composure to a child in need of S.T.AR.
Positive affect is generated by well-regulated exchanges = The dance goes well. Negative affect
is generated by mismatched exchanges = The dance does not go well.
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Good News About Mismatches
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Mismatches provide an opportunity for the infant to broaden his interaction skills.
Mismatches compel the infant to develop his self-regulatory skills (manage stress).
The infant’s experiences in managing mismatches helps him learn how to develop coping skills
for prolonged, exaggerated stressors.
Bad News About Mismatches
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If the mismatches are prolonged and are not resolved with matches, the prolonged stress will
derail the attachment system, making self-regulation and connection with others difficult for
the rest of the child’s life.
Prolonged mismatches lead to a potential for health problems throughout life.
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During stressful interactions, the infant can divert his attention in one of two ways:
1. Scan the environment without focus, leaving attention free-floating.
2. Redirect attention to focus on an object.
Both of the above skills allow the infant to redirect from stressful situations; however, avoid scanning without
focusing because it shuts down engagement with others and objects. Infants who scan aimlessly may become
preschool children who wander around during center time without the ability to engage with objects orpeople.
Attunement
How does the infant show you a mismatch has occurred and his/her clacker is unbalanced?
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Self-comfort: Uses toy or object to self comfort through sucking body parts (hand, toes, etc.)
or objects (strap on chair). May rock from side to side or to and fro, or clasp hands together.
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Escape: Turn twist, turn, arch back to get away and disconnect from the source of discomfort.
Avert/scan: Looks away but does not successfully maintain attention on something new.
Withdraw/shut down: The infant looks glassy-eyed (seldom used by typically developing
infants, especially after three months of age).
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Routines are essential. They are the manner by which young children tell time and learn to regulate their
internal clocks. Our brains are pattern-seeking devices; the clearer the patterns, the more brain-enriching
the environment. Routines add predictability and consistency to the program. They are the skeleton for the
School Family. Routines help children, staff and parents feel safe.
Attachment System
The attachment system is the heart of the S.T.A.R. Program for Infants. The biological function of the
attachment system is to protect the person (infant, child, adolescent, adult) from danger by ensuring that he
is secure and connected (maintains and seeks proximity) to his attachment figure.
The goal of the attachment system is to turn on when the infant feels threatened. The infant then signals
and uses strategies to seek proximity to his attachment figure. The bids continue until he obtains prote
ction and security. This is called a “felt sense of safety,” and is the original Safe Place for infants.
When the infant obtains his goals of proximity and security, his attachment system is turned off and he
can return calmly to non-attachment activities (play), exploration and learning.
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
When the attachment system functions well, a person learns that distance and autonomy are completely
compatible with closeness and reliance on others. Essentially, “I can be close to you and still be me. I can be
away from you without feeling anxious and abandoned.”
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With infants, we create connections and build a School Family by implementing rituals with the family and
staff. With toddlers, you create connections by implementing the rituals with the children themselves. Here
are some ritual ideas to get you started in creating a culture of caring.
Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Ritual
Infant
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Greeting
Select a location where you will stand
every morning to greet the parent/
child. Greet them both nonverbally and
verbally. Nonverbally greet parents
using eye contact and touch.
Verbally greet parents by saying,
“Hello
! Oh, you brought your
precious
and
brought his/her
(ears, eyes, mouth, etc.).”
Balance novelty and structure.
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Tell the parent a specific positive thing
the child did during the day. “Karen
reached up and grasped my finger
today.” “Dennis smiled when I sang to
him today.”
As you’re handing the child to the
parent, say, “Here’s my kiss goodbye.
Mom, where will your kiss be for hello?”
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Create a “We Missed You” card for
the family. The message to send: “We
noticed your precious one was gone,
we missed him and we’re glad he’s
back.”
“You’ve been gone and you’ve been missed,
where would you like your welcome back
kiss?”
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Have a bulletin board or display for new
families. “Welcome
Family.”
Interview the family and post the
results. After a week, re-interview and
compare answers.
Put up a picture of the new family. Have
place for other families to write notes
to the new family.
At the bottom of the board, write the
words, “We Wish the
Family
Well!”
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Goodbye
Ritual
Absent
Child
Ritual
New Child
Ritual
Toddler
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Kim Jackson
Conscious Discipline® Certified Instructor
Use a greeting apron with two choices.
Child selects the way she’d like to be
greeted.
If parents drop off their children, select
one parent per week to teach an I Love
You Ritual during the greeting time.
Use a goodbye apron with two choices.
Child selects way he’d like to say
goodbye.
Sing your goodbye song. Focus on eye
contact, touch and playfulness.
Sing the “Hello” song to the child:
Hello to our new friend,
Hello to our new friend,
Hello to our new friend,
Hello to
(name)!
We’re dancing with our new friend,
We’re dancing with our new friend,
We’re dancing with our new friend,
Dancing with
(name)!
Put a photo on the Friends and Family
Board.
Send a “Welcome!” card to family.
Conscious Discipline® for Infants & Toddler
Ritual
Infant
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Leaving
Ritual
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Event
Ritual
I Love
You
Rituals
Make a picture book for the family with
the following poem:
It may seem we are so little
that we wouldn’t know,
how important you were
to helping us grow
Yet each of us is connected
in ways no one can see
so goodbye, so long,
from your infant School Family
Take pictures of each infant being held
by each caregiver. Under each picture,
write a note about what the child and
family has meant to you. End your
comments, “I wish you well!”
Toddler
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Sing a goodbye song to the child. Give a
recording to parents.
Create a goodbye book of classroom
pictures for the child.
Send home a favorite class book with
notes from the caregiver inside.
Make a class video and coach each child
to say, “Bye bye.” Send home.
Rituals for specific events like potty training, first words, first steps, new siblings, etc.
At specific times during the day, take time to do I Love You Rituals.
Diapering, circle, greeting, napping and activity times are ideal.
Each child needs one-on-one time with this type of activity every day.