Survey
Guiding Question: What is a rite of passage? Why might this indicate someone is grown up? What rites of passage
are the characters in The Lord of the Flies going through?
September 22, 2014
A Man's Life
How to Create Your Own Rites of Passage
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Khaled Allen.
I hadn’t seen another human being all day, I
was miles from my car, and the sun was going down,
but I wasn’t even thinking of going back. I huddled
in my one-person tent, which wasn’t even tall
enough for me to sit upright, as a thunderstorm
hammered down around me. My heart was racing;
the impending darkness and the raging storm were
setting off alarm signals in the primitive parts of my
brain. But I was committed to conquering my fears. I
had spent too many nights throughout life scared of
the dark like a little kid, and I had decided it was
time I grew up.
The day before, I had driven myself out to
northern Connecticut and hiked into a campsite on
the Appalachian Trail. I have serious problems
sleeping isolated from other people, and while I had
arranged my life to avoid needing to, it was a fear
that had held me back. I selected this camping trip as a rite of passage that would prove my fears were
unfounded, teach me how to control them, and set me free to move on in my life.
Throughout history, humans have used rites of passage to mark major life transitions. For men in
particular, the rite of passage holds special importance as a ceremonial ritual. Women have very clear biological
markers of their progress through life — menarche, childbirth, menopause — but for men, the stages of life are
not always so clearly marked.
Thus, we create rituals and challenges to test and signify our readiness to move on to the next stage in
life.
What Is a Rite of Passage?
A rite of passage is a ceremony or ritual that presents a man with a particular challenge that needs to be
overcome in order for the man to grow or progress. It signals to both the man himself and to his community that
he is ready to take on the responsibilities and privileges of mature manhood.
What makes rites of passage unique is that they tend to carry with them a do-or-die aspect; you either
succeed or face severe consequences. In some historical contexts, death or serious injury were possible
outcomes; a common rite of passage into manhood was to hunt a particularly dangerous animal or kill an enemy
in battle. Even if a man’s failure to complete a rite of passage didn’t hurt him physically, it could still carry a
heavy psychological price – feeling shamed by his community, and ashamed of himself.
While a modern rite of passage doesn’t need to be potentially lethal, a man’s pride and confidence in
himself is still on the line. It is a test of commitment, and without real commitment, real change is not very
likely. As long as you have a way to go back to the way things were, you will continue to rely on old patterns.
Elements of a Rite of Passage
There Are 3 Phases
Traditionally, rites of passage have 3 phases: separation, transition, and reincorporation. First a young
man leaves behind his old life and comfort zone. Next he enters an in-between period where he learns new
behaviors and ways of thinking, and strives to pass certain challenges. Finally, he remerges into a community
that recognizes his accomplishment and new status.
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/09/22/how-to-create-your-own-rites-of-passage/
Survey
Guiding Question: What is a rite of passage? Why might this indicate someone is grown up? What rites of passage
are the characters in The Lord of the Flies going through?
An easy-to-grasp modern example of these 3 phases can be seen in the process of becoming a member
of the military. A recruit says goodbye to civilian life, is trained and tested in boot camp, and then graduates as
a full-fledged soldier.
In creating your own rite of passage, it is not necessary to strictly adhere to this tripartite structure, but
creating a rough semblance of it can increase the experience’s efficacy.
Success is Not Guaranteed
Often, the rite of passage asks you to perform near or slightly past the limits of your abilities.
Alternatively, it can require you to rely on behavior patterns you have avoided or are uncomfortable with, such
as claiming authority and responsibility, putting you in a position where you will need to break through old
limitations in order to succeed.
Besides requiring total commitment, this aspect of the rite of passage also tests a man’s courage. If the
threat of failure is actually real, it is a good determination of how ready the man is to take on the responsibilities
of decision-making.
There’s a Deadline
Another defining element of a rite of passage is that it is delineated in time. As a ceremonial ritual, there
needs to be a set beginning and end. Partly, this is because most rites of passage are quite stressful and it is
important to limit the amount of stress brought on, but it also creates the opportunity to consolidate afterwards.
In addition, a set time limit creates some added pressure to overcome the challenge in question.
You’re On Your Own
Isolation is a common feature of most rites of passage. The reason is simple: it is a ritual of personal
growth, and if you have access to aid, it means you cannot take full ownership of your progress. The only
caveat to this is that some rites of passage are intended to develop a team or tribe dynamic. Navy SEAL training
is a good example of this. In that case, the team works together, but is isolated from external assistance and
appeals.
Social Recognition
Despite the isolation, a rite of passage is part of a man’s growth in his social group, whether that’s a
family, a tribe, a company, a military group, or some other organization.
You can certainly separate yourself and transition on your own, but without the cooperation of your
social group, the reincorporation phase of a rite of passage can be difficult, making the experience less effective
overall. This last stage requires that your friends and family recognize the change in you and treat you
accordingly. If they don’t, they will expect old patterns from you, and the social pressure of those expectations
can either lead you to return to your old ways or to break from the group (depending on the extremity of your
transition).
This doesn’t necessarily mean that a rite of passage must always be an “official” one that is recognized
and supported by one’s friends and family; I have undergone rites of passage of my own creation which were so
deeply transformative that those around me couldn’t help but acknowledge the profound change and treat me
differently.
Have an End Goal
It is important to know what the desired outcome of a particular rite of passage is. In most cases, it is
meant as a final and incontestable demonstration that the young man has the qualities necessary to take his place
in adult life. For most societies, courage, responsibility, and a willingness to accept consequences are defining
traits of a male’s role.
In my case, I wanted to free myself of my fear of the dark and isolation. I wanted to become master of
my imagination, to harness my mind. To me, these were necessary to feel comfortable as a responsible adult.
If you’ve chosen something like a marathon, the desired outcome might be the confidence to know that
you can overcome a significant physical challenge.
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/09/22/how-to-create-your-own-rites-of-passage/