How to Develop Confidence
Speaking:
Imagine you’re explaining your main ideas to a
friend.
Focus on your audience.
Overcoming the Fear of Public
Speaking
Most people report that giving a speech is their
greatest fear. And yet the ability to give a
speech is one of the most valued business skills
today.
Try these 10 tips to get over your nervousness
and to develop confidence while speaking.
Expect to be nervous.
Even experienced speakers get nervous. Don't
try to eliminate your jitters. Turn them into
energy you can use to boost your delivery.
Prepare.
Know what you are going to say – and why you
want to say it.
Practice.
Speak to supportive audiences in small forums
where less is at stake – at a staff meeting or a
PTA meeting. Join Toastmasters or take a Dale
Carnegie course. Work with a coach.
Breathe.
In the thirty seconds before you begin speaking,
take three slow, deep breaths through your
nose, filling your belly. As you breathe out, say
silently to yourself, “Relax.”
Rehearse.
Stand up and walk around as you practice out
loud. Don’t memorize your speech or practice it
word for word. Talk it through, point by point.
Stage fright is rooted in self-preoccupation.
(“How am I doing?” “Am I making any sense?”)
Stop focusing on yourself. Focus, instead, on
your audience. (“How are you?” “Are you
getting this?” “Can you hear me?”)
Simplify.
Most speakers try to do too much in a speech.
Then they worry about leaving something out
or losing their train of thought. Aim, instead, to
communicate one basic idea. Keep it short and
simple.
Visualize success.
Practice relaxation techniques in the days
before your presentation. Lie down or sit
comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe slowly.
Close your eyes. Imagine your upcoming
speaking engagement. Picture yourself speaking
with confidence.
Connect with your audience.
Make the audience your allies. Talk to
individuals before your presentation to get to
know them. Look them in the eye as you speak
to them, one person at a time. When your
audience sides with you, your job as a speaker
becomes easier.
Act confident.
People won’t see how nervous you are. (They
can’t tell if your palms are sweating or your
knees are knocking or your heart is pounding.)
So don’t tell them. Smile. Stick your chest out.
Look confident, even if you don’t feel it.
5 Secrets to Looking
Confident While Speaking
in Public
If
you break out in a cold sweat or even feel
butterflies when you think about standing
in front of others for a presentation or
interview, you are not alone. Fear of public
speaking is estimated to affect 75 percent of
adults. Rethinking the way we perceive stress
may actually improve our physical and mental
performance. It may be easier to give in to our
fears, but you will accomplish much more in life
and feel a greater sense of pride for facing
them.
For some people, with just a little effort they
have the ability to conquer these fears. For
others, it takes a lot more work and some tips
or tools for masking these mental pressures. I
understand the need for these tools all too well
because I myself was an honorary member of
the latter set of individuals and worked
tremendously hard to make it look like I'm a
member of the former.
In the past 19 years as a speaker, I've found that
there are five tools I've used to demonstrate
the strongest level of confidence when I'm on
the stage. Regardless of whether I'm in front of
a few business clients or thousands of audience
members, these five tips have helped me
communicate presentations that I can always
be proud of.
1. Get the audience laughing.
In
my experience, I've found that opening
with a joke always starts a speech off in
the right direction. It immediately lightens the
mood in the room and helps me relax. There is
something about looking out in the audience
and seeing smiling faces that helps create a
bond -- particularly if I can get the audience to
join me in laughing at myself. Laugh at yourself
is incredibly self-deprecating, and if you get
others to join you in that laughter, then it
creates a level of trust. The laughter allows your
attendees to break down the wall that forces
them to see themselves as vastly different from
you.
2.Focus on people who are
nodding.
Wh
en you feel like you aren't
connecting with your attendees it
can be extremely nerve wracking. And your
nerves can be taken to a whole other level if
there are people who appear completely
disinterested. You can often look out in the
audience and find a few people who are
nodding along with your story or points. There
is a real sense of reassurance when someone is
agreeing with you. And the more you focus on
these individuals, the more confident you
sound. And the more confident you sound, the
more people you attract. Part way through your
talk, you could likely find a room full of people
nodding along with you or sitting on the edge of
their seats hanging on your every word. All of a
sudden, the nerves are gone.
3.
Be expressive with your
emotions.
W
hen I first started speaking, I can admit
that I was nervous. I watched videos of
my speeches and realized that I sounded AND
looked nervous. There are times that no matter
what you tell yourself to calm your concerns, it
just doesn't work. Anxieties aren't always the
easiest thing to quell. I realized that I was just
more prone to tensions when I kicked off my
presentations. I often couldn't stop the
tensions, but I found that I could hide them.
Playing up my emotions by really getting into
the excitement of my story or working to
honestly feel the disappointment I had
experienced, I was able to mask the jitters. It's
much easier to hide one emotion with another
than it is to hide an emotion by suppressing it.
4.
Practice, practice,
practice.
T
here are many people that believe that
speaking is something you are good at or
not. I have learned through personal experience
that speaking is something you can build up -but, you have to be willing to put in the time.
When I started speaking I realized I needed to
work on my skills so I went to 100 different
Rotary clubs around the Los Angeles area and
offered to speak for free if I could place a video
camera in the back of the room. After each
engagement, I'd review the videos to see what I
could improve. Just as in school, sports and
business, the more I practiced, the more
confident I was and the better I'd perform. As
an aerial skier, I would do my jumps hundreds -if not thousands -- of times before I would
perform a maneuver in competition. I realized
that speaking should be no different. With more
and more practice delivering speeches, I could
visibly see my performances improving. And
you can't help but gain self-esteem with the
more experience you have.
5.
Be prepared if you make a
mistake.
O
ne of the most important lessons I learned
as a speaker actually came from late-night
TV. I saw an interview with Johnny Carson and
he confessed to preparing a joke that he'd keep
on hand if and when he made a blunder. No
matter how professional someone is and how
long they have spoken, everyone makes
mistakes. And the mistakes actually make
people appear more human and come across as
more relatable. But, when we become
uncomfortable with slip-ups and gaffes, then
our audience becomes more uncomfortable as
well. As I shared in my first tip, laughing at
ourselves can put everyone at ease. So try
preparing a comment like, "I guess those swan
dives off our family loft as a child did have its
repercussions." It helps you suppress some of
your speaking fears when you know you have
one or two "get out of jail free" cards on hand.
So no matter if speaking is your number one
fear or you just want to come across with more
confidence, the cold sweats and internal
butterflies will soon be a thing of the past.
Motivational Tips and Tools:
As an Olympian, best-seller, inspirational
speaker and Biggest Loser motivational expert,
I'm often asked for tips, tools, quotes and
activities to help people reach their goals. I like
to end all of my blogs with short tools that are
driven from actual advice I've shared.
This week's tip:
Confidence comes from within and no one can
create it for you. You won't build confidence if
you don't take action. Know that making
yourself uncomfortable a couple times will help
you feel more comfortable in the same
situation forever after. The people who actually
look the most awkward are the ones who are
afraid to try.
Confident speakers develop their expertise by
knowing their topic thoroughly. The work you
put into research will be noticed and
appreciated by your audience. Avoid picking
topics that you don’t feel strongly about – it’s a
sure way to ruin your self-confidence.
P
ublic speaking leads to wealth. It will help
you build your network, foster
relationships, get new business, get job offers
and increase your social media presence.
Most people are not comfortable speaking in
front of large audiences: 74 per cent of adults
suffer from speech anxiety, according to the
National Institute of Mental Health, and I’m
certainly one of them. I get anxious every single
time I get on stage or in front of the camera.
Taking a proactive approach to developing
public speaking skills can boost your confidence
quickly. As your speaking confidence multiplies,
you will become less anxious. I’ve also read
“How to Develop Self-Confidence by Public
Speaking” by Dale Carnegie, which made me
realize one simple truth: It’s not about you, it’s
about your content.
So take a baby-step approach to developing
your confidence.
Here are a couple of tips to improve your public
speaking game that have worked for me when I
was just getting started.
1. Know your topic inside and out.
K
en Linder: “If you talk about things you
know and are passionate about, that
resonates with people.” He also mentions that
you know more about your topic than your
audience, so it’s your job to educate them.
Confident public speakers deliver convincing
arguments by absorbing as much relevant
knowledge as possible. Read, study and
memorize key concepts. Accumulate interesting
facts, stories, quotes and examples. These will
boost your confidence because you’ll have
richer and more interesting content to present.
2. Prepare by practicing.
No
successful public speaker became
famous without preparation. The
best prepared themselves by speaking for hours
in front of mirrors or for a few select friends.
Some renowned speakers simply speak at an
empty room to hone their skills.
Toastmasters International suggests practicing
with a timer and allowing time for the
unexpected, as unforeseen events can distract
nervous speakers.
Visualize yourself delivering an inspiring speech.
Rehearsing the speech in your mind creates a
type of dry run which increases your confidence
for the actual event.
3. Use visuals and powerful
wording.
U
sing visuals like slides, colourful images,
graphs, videos and headline-heavy copy
draws your audience’s attention like a magnet.
It also takes away pressure and attention from
your actual delivery. Draw your audience’s
attention from you to your content.
Even the most dynamic speakers use imagery to
keep audiences on their toes. You want to
inspire, inform and entertain by delivering a
high energy message. Your audience wants to
use the content being presented for their
benefit, so make dramatic statements to convey
your message convincingly. Pepper your speech
with power verbs to inspire audiences.
Using effective wording and enticing imagery
requires strict planning. Spend as much time as
you can sprucing up your presentation to
become more confident.
4. Enter with boldness.
B
oldness and hesitation will elicit very
different responses from your audience.
Hesitation creates obstacles, boldness
eliminates them.
Start your talk with boldness to appear larger
and more interesting – the first impression is
critical. Play a video, tell a story or a joke or
make a bold statement about your material –
just don’t start with a boring agenda.
Boldly entering the stage will also have the
magical effect of camouflaging your
inexperience and oratory deficiencies. Boldness
gives you presence while the timid fade into
wallpaper.
5. Learn from other public
speakers.
S
tudy from the best to improve. Follow
your favorite public speakers on social
media and sites like SlideShare. I also watch Ted
Talks to learn from the best speakers in the
world.
Attend live events to learn from and emulate
your favorites. Observe how they use their
hands to add emphasis to key points. Note how
they raise and lower their voice to keep you
focused on their message. The best public
speakers are masters of inspiring an audience.
Study their movements and delivery style to
feed off their confidence.
6. Be open to receiving feedback.
B
oth positive and negative feedback can
improve your confidence. One of the
most painful experiences is watching recordings
of yourself. Although I’m uncomfortable every
time I view my performance, I push myself to do
it and to find places I can improve.
Watch yourself on video and observe your
overall delivery. What seemed to rouse the
audience? Watching yourself from a thirdperson perspective can accelerate your growth.
Negative reviews help you pinpoint areas for
improvement. Even though negative feedback
might sting your ego, these points of view
usually boost your skills in the long run.
Being open to criticism helps you develop thick
skin. Grow your confidence from both positive,
inspiring feedback and negative, constructive
feedback.
7. Speak less to say more.
B
rilliant public speakers use words
economically to make an impact. Remove
all unnecessary fillers. Respect your time and
the time of your audience. Avoid hesitating
unless you want the audience to reflect on
some point.
Stick to your speech plan, refrain from adding
points on the fly and speak only on your desired
topic. Do not add extra examples and stay away
from straying off course.
Public speaking changed my life, and I hope it
will change yours.
Matthew Capala is an Internet marketer,
growth consultant, entrepreneur, international
speaker, trainer and author. He is the founder
of SearchDecoder.com and professor at NYU,
where he teaches advanced graduate course on
search marketing.