Writer: Craig Avis
Reviewer: Yvonna Lombardo
Peer Review Feedback Memo
Part 1: Letter
 The essay is about how black women of this time period were portrayed in artistic
writing pieces and how they faced certain suffrage because of their sex and race. The
focus is on the power and ways the women contributed to the change of the HR. “Fern”,
“Carma”, and “The Double Task” are supporting his question.
 (2) Your weakest link in this essay so far is the length, but it looks like you have a good
foundation to lengthen off of.
 (3) I love the topic you picked and what I have read so far is very tastefully written.
Part 2: Specific Sections
 “The black female, unfortunately, was at the bottom of it all. They had to make
something out of nothing, and then sustain it, while everyone else looked down on them.”
I thought that this was a great explanation to your reader about the hardship they faced
in this time of change.
 Like I have mentioned already I do not have any suggestions for revisions at this time it
is a strong essay but just lacking length.
MEMO TEMPLATE:
Dear Craig,
(1) Your essay titled TITLE is very well written and well described of what the African
American women of this time would be going through. Also not only seeing what the author
sees in his subject but the overall opinion of how black women were portrayed in this period of
history.
(2) What I would concentrate on is to lengthen your essay to include all the main bodies
that should be present.
(3) I honestly don’t have any suggestions of what to work on at this time. What you have
so far is well-crafted and well put.
(4) In terms of your specific concerns, I don’t have any at the moment it is a well-crafted
essay thus far.
Craig S. Avis
English 123 – Ms. Kingsley
Surveying the Harlem Renaissance – Rough Draft #1
February 23, 2015
TITLE
How was African-American womanhood and their sexuality artistically portrayed by Elise
Johnson McDougald, Jean Toomer, and Anne Spencer in their literature. How does this
image give the female figure power, and promote positive growth for the Negro community?
In the essay “The Double Task” (1925), by Elise Johnson McDougald, a prominent black
journalist, she examines the economic and social relations between four different groups of
African-American women, from wealthy to working-class, and their influences to society. She
pursued to reject the monumental and replace the embodiment which was the perceived and
superficial image of the black woman. McDougald’s focus was to challenge the clichéd portrayal
of black women through literature, but also took keen effort on redefining their portrayed sexuality
in order to finally give a voice to this doubly oppressed group. McDougald’s audience is primarily
directed to anyone willing to listen; however, her aggressive, yet factual, toned conclusion suggests
that she is targeting towards ignorant whites.
Back in the early part of the twentieth century, the black race was still in the infancy of
their emancipation. Around that same time, the Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
approved women’s suffrage. While both of these were nationally accepted, not all Americans
whereas easily swayed by the masses. This is where African-American woman possibly had it the
hardest; not only were they fighting for their freedom as blacks, they were also battling for equality
as women. The black female, unfortunately, was at the bottom of it all. They had to make
something out of nothing, and then sustain it, while everyone else looked down on them.
In Jean Toomer’s short story “Carma” (1923), he uses a fictitious persona to represent, and
bring to the forefront, two vital characteristics of a typical, American black woman. The possible
outcome is to enlighten the persevering, physical and emotional, strength of womanhood, and to
bring forth the raw, underappreciated sexuality of the darker-skinned female. Through this
descriptive vignette, he crafts the tale of a strong black woman whose unfaithfulness to her
husband, while he is away, leads to a tragic, yet surprising, conclusion.
After a petite inaugural poem, Toomer immediately starts his story by introducing the main
character, Carma. There are many directions he could have gone with to describe Carma; he chose
to focus on her physical strength. She is described as “in overalls, and strong as any man, stands
behind the old brown mule, driving the wagon home.” This characteristic is echoed throughout
this short piece in order to remind the reader this is an attribute of significance, and is not so easily
lost. Even though Toomer assigns this quality to her physique, it is also a reflection of her inner
strength given he continually mentions she is alone most of the time and finds refuge on her own,
even if it is with other men.
Along with her enduring strength, Carma exudes sexuality unmatched to most. Toomer
intricately illustrates her not as black, but as a passionate woman. Regardless of her lonesomeness,
her strengths are features greatly desired by most men. This zealous sexuality is subtly intertwined
throughout this story. Toomer poetically highlights Carma’s femininity by having the narrator
observe, “From far away, a sad strong song. Pungent and composite, the smell of farmyard is the
fragrance of the woman. She does not sing; her body is a song. She is in the forest, dancing.”
Toomer wants the reader to know there is lust for a woman who can persevere, and desire for a
woman whose beauty starts from within.
Mention “Fern” or “Lady, Lady.”
Conclusion
The last paragraph of your essay will state what you have discovered about your questions and
what still remains unclear or uncertain. You will also indicate what other readings exist or other
research you might perform that could be helpful in answering your question.
Word Count: 588
Works Cited