Living in a
Complaint Free
World
Based on the book and
movie by William Bowen
What will we look at
today?

Introduction to the "complaint
free" mindset

How can this mindset make
your life better-at work and at
home.

Learn about the relationship
between complaining and
being assertive
“We are shaped by our
thoughts; we become
what we think.”
Buddha
What is a complaint?
On your card, write how you define a complaint.
How do you know when someone is complaining?
A complaint is more than
a statement of fact—it is a
complaint when you want
something changed but
are not talking to the
person who can change it!
“Complaints are like
bad breath—we notice it
when it comes out of
someone else’s mouth
but not when it comes
from our own”
Can we agree on this?

There is too much complaining in the
world.

The state of the world is not the way we
would like it.

Are these related?

We are focusing on what is wrong rather
than focusing on the vision for a healthy,
happy, harmonious world.

Think about the nightly news
Impact of complaining:

Psychosomatic illness--67% estimated
as a result of thinking sick

Dozens of research studies (positive
and negative)

Forbes.com—7 of the top 7
prescription drugs are for illnesses
that are exacerbated by stress

When you complain about your
health, you are putting out negative
statements that your body hears

Impact on our children
How often do you
complain?

If you complain more than once a
month—you may be falling into the
habit of habitual complaining

We become an “ouch” looking for a
hurt

We notice complaints from others but
not from ourselves
Why do we complain?

To get sympathy

To gain attention

To avoid doing something

Misery not only loves company, but it
derives validation from it
**If we create a culture of no
complaining, those chronic
complainers become ostracized
Is it ok to gossip?

Sure…as long as

What you are saying about the absent
person is complimentary

You would repeat, word for word,
what you are saying if the person was
present
Griping

Monty Python skit--Four
Yorkshiremen

Do you want to be the winner?

Do people who are confident and
secure brag?

Successful people have challenges,
but they use them like a slingshot—
the harder the time, the farther they
pull the slingshot back and the higher
they fly—but you have to release the
“stone”
Criticism tears someone
down, and when we
debase someone we
actually give that
person implicit
permission to act in
similar ways in the
future
As you become
a happier
person,
You can raise the
overall level of
happiness in the
world!
What is the benefit…

What a person believes about their
health leads to the belief becoming
real for them

Our thoughts create our world and
our words indicate our thoughts
How does it work?
1.
Put on a bracelet
2.
Every time you catch yourself
complaining or gossiping, move
the bracelet over to the other
arm
3.
Try this for 21 days
4 stages of change
 Unconscious
Incompetence
 Conscious
Incompetence
 Conscious
Competence
 Unconscious
Competence
“but every great thing happened
because someone complained
about it…”

Martin Luther King, Jr—


Robert Kennedy—


“I have a dream…”
“There are those that look at things the way
they are, and ask why? I dream of things
that never were, and ask why not?”
Rosa Parks didn’t complain about where
she could not sit—she moved to where
she should sit
 Dissatisfaction
is the
beginning, but it can’t be
the end!
What can you do?

Read the book

Take the challenge

“No Moan Mondays”

Take the time to breathe before you
speak—especially in a challenging
situation

Don’t talk about what is wrong—focus
on how you would like it to be—what
is BEYOND the problem
Small changes
Instead of…
Try…

Problem

Opportunity

Have to

Get to

Setback

Challenge

Enemy

Friend/Teacher

Pain

Signal

Complaint

Request

Struggle

Journey
When your mouth stops expressing negative thoughts,
your mind will find other, happier thoughts to create
Be a grape…

Uva Uvam Videndo Varia Fit

One grape changes color when it sees
another.

One grape will ripen and in doing so,
send out a vibration, enzyme,
fragrance that signals to the other
grapes that it is time to ripen.

Be the grape that changes the
vineyard!
“A Complaint Free World:
How to Stop
Complaining and Start
Enjoying the Life You
Always Wanted”
Will Bowen