FAMILY CONFLICT & CRISES Compiled by Elizabeth Bogumil Outlined by Professor Wonser LESSON OUTLINE Socialization Crisis Conflict Emotion Work Roles, Status and Conflict Family Violence Domestic Violence Verbal Abuse Non-verbal Abuse Elder & Child Abuse Af fects on Children Applying Theory Take Away Points Student Evaluations SOCIALIZATION Socialization: the process of learning and internalizing the values, beliefs and norms of our social group by which we become functioning members of society Begins in infancy Most productive once a child begins to understand the use of language Families: are the single most significant agent of socialization in all societies and teaches us the basic values and norms that shape our identity In the teen years, peers become the primary socializers CONFLICT VS. CRISIS Conflict: friction, disagreement, or discord arising internally or within a group when the beliefs or actions of yourself, one or more members of the group or outside groups members find those beliefs or actions unacceptable Crisis: any event that is, or expected to lead to, an unstable and dangerous situation af fecting an individual or group with little to no warning CRISES: T YPES & COPING Caused by: Drastic changes in courses of events (good or bad) Turning point that changes the future Types: External: floods, fires, war Internal: divorce, alcoholism, death of family member, family violence Coping mechanisms: Spirituality Family support Sense of humor CRISIS: PROCESS OF ADJUSTMENT CONFLICT Family Functions are the tasks and goals that support and sustain the family Family Dysfunctions are failures in the family to accomplish these tasks and goals This leads to stressors which can build up Failure to address the stressors before they pile up too much leads to conflict CONFLICT Stressors: are “root” causes of conflict: Normative Stressors: expected life events and processes that bring stress by virtue of their nature Acute Stressors: typically unexpected, sudden, and demand tremendous resources to cope with them Examples of normative stressors? Examples of acute stressors CONFLICT: T YPES Intrapsychic / Personal Cause of Conflict Originates within the individual Centers on inner drives, instincts, and values pulling against each other These conflicts come from family of origin issues and early childhood Can be: Unrealistic fears and anxieties Neurotic needs Emotional illness Depression Mood Swings Solution: resolve personal issues first then address the relationship issues What are some examples of this type of conflict? CONFLICT: T YPES Intrasomatic / Physical Causes of Conflict Originates from an individuals physical state Can be: Fatigue Hunger Overwork Headaches Low blood sugar Medications Cause of Conflict: Irritability Impatience Disordered reasoning Low tolerance for frustration Solution: relax, better care for your physical health and recognize physical limits What are some examples of this type of conflict? Do you think there is a class component to this type of conflict? CONFLICT: T YPES Interpsychic / Interpersonal Causes of Conflict Originates and based in intimate interactions Can be: Rebellion Methods of care Handing situations Cause of conflict: Misunderstanding Emotional withdrawal Miscommunication Difficulty resolving differences Solution: communicate, utilize the win-win conflict resolution model, come to common understandings What are some examples of this type of conflict? CONFLICT: T YPES Situational / Environmental Causes of Conflict Originates from external situations which can trigger personal or interpersonal sources of conflict Can be: Living conditions in household Societal or cultural strains Unexpected events Solution: Addressing the external pressure, changing the environment, working together to overcome unexpected events and communication What are some examples of this type of conflict? EMOTION WORK: HOCHSCHILD Emotion Work: the management of one’s own feelings in an ef fort to maintain the well being of a relationship. Also involves the orientation of self to others to fit with accepted norms of emotional expression. Types Evoking emotion Suppressing emotion Techniques Cognitive Bodily Emotion Feeling Rules: “fake it till you make it” Men need to be strong, brave and macho Women need to be happy and perky You know you have the correct or incorrect emotions by how others react to you Do you do emotion work? What are some feeling rules within the family you are familiar with? EMOTION WORK: HOCHSCHILD What types of emotion work do these represent? If emotion work is not performed correctly can this lead to conflict? How? EMOTION WORK Role-taking Emotions: are emotions like sympathy, embarrassment, or shame, which require that we assume the perspective of another person and respond from that person’s point of view Feeling Rules: are socially constructed norms regarding the expression and display of emotions and include expectations about the acceptable or desirable feelings in a given situation How can not utilizing this sort of emotion work correctly lead to possible conflict? ROLES, STATUS & CONFLICT Status: is a position in society that comes with a set of expectations Roles: are the behaviors expected from a particular status Types of Conflict Role Conflict: occurs when the roles associated with one status clash with the roles associated with a different status Role Strain: occurs when roles associated with a single status clash Role Exit: is the disengagement from a role that is central to ones identity, may occur because of role conflict or role strain How can these types of conflict relate to conflict within intimate relationships and family? ROLES, STATUS & CONFLICT Actor Status Roles FAMILY VIOLENCE Who: Affects every class, ethnicity, age and sexual orientation Why: To maintain control What: Violence may or may not lead to physical injury, can be emotional and psychological too How: Society legitimizes some forms of violence Spanking Video games Levels of acceptable violence are based off of societal norms Tattoos as Domestic Violence FAMILY VIOLENCE Factors that contribute to violence in relationships Cultural values Gender roles Family history of violence Drug and alcohol abuse Dependency Jealously, possessiveness and suspicion Need to control Unhappiness and dissatisfaction Anger and aggressiveness How do you suppose one, some or many of these factors contribute to family violence? Do you think conflict occurs first then violence? DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Domestic Violence: the intentional use of physical or symbolic force by an individual aimed at hur ting or injuring an individual intimately involved with Also known as Intimate Partner Violence(IPV) Is the most common form of family violence. It includes behaviors abusers use to gain and maintain power over their victims. Abuse can be: Physical Verbal Financial Sexual Psychological Mor tification of Self : the most dramatic type of socialization which can occur in instructions such as the militar y, POW camps, and mental hospitals. Degradation ceremonies are used to resocialize a person into their new role Consider how domestic violence or abuse can be a type of degradation ceremony to resocialize a family member into a certain role within the family? DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Verbal abuse: are words that cause mental or psychological distress Shaming Threatening Swearing Belittling Humiliation Excessive jealousy or possessiveness DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Non-verbal Abuse: is the use of symbolic force to overtake another Slamming doors Destroying objects / property of another Destroying meaningful objects (ie: tearing up photos) Silence Sulking Isolation (isolating the other from the outside world and others) Economic deprivation (withholding money) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 33% of females and 4% of males were murdered by current or former intimate partner. Also, if a family member attacks or kills it usually done in a more violent and graphic manner (2002) 5.9 out of every 1 ,000 and 2.1 out of every 1 ,000 men experience domestic violence 60% of of fenses occur between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. in the victim’s home In 2005, 1 ,181 women and 329 men were killed by their intimate partners Domestic violence calls are the single largest category of calls to the police Only a very small number of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police - National Institute of Justice Special Report (June 2009) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Cycle of Violence in Abusive Relationships Stage One: relationship seems normal Stage Two: the victim feels like ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid arguments Stage Three: acute battering and violence occur, lasting for seconds, hours or even days. The abuser blames the victim. Stage Four: the abuser will apologize profusely and promise that it will never happen again DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Why women stay: Abuse starts gradually and builds Childhood history of abuse* Underestimated the degree of danger Fear Accept the blame and think if they do the right things they can stop it Emotional dependency / low self esteem Financial dependency Guilt Believes the abuse is for legitimate reasons They “love” their partner How does this relate to the way in which victims were socialized to behave and think as a child? ELDER & CHILD ABUSE Children and elderly can also suf fer from abusive family members Elder Abuse: the maltreatment of older family members in emotional, sexual, physical, financial, neglectful and other ways, especially where trust was expected and violated Child and elder abuse are underreported, due in part to the relative powerlessness of the victims and the private settings of the abuse Particular types of abuse towards children include: Neglect: is the failure to perform necessary duties Food, water, medical care Incest: is sexual relations between close relatives What have you heard about elder abuse? FAMILY VIOLENCE Abuse is LESS likely to occur in families where: Spouses have an egalitarian relationships Spouses share equal decision-making power in regard to finances, purchases, vacations, etc. The marriage is monogamous Normal disagreements within the family are resolved peacefully And, if someone is abused, there is outside support for the abused and the abused seeks it after the first incident* FAMILY VIOLENCE Elder abuse is MORE likely to occur when: The The The The elder abused the adult child as a child elder has decreased functioning (dementia, et al) abuser may not understand the disability of the elder abusive adult child may use drugs or alcohol AFFECTS ON CHILDREN CHILDREN: CONFLICT & CRISIS What family environment is most healthy for children Some conflict is inevitable and healthy How conflict is handled is critical Positive and calm family environments make children feel Safe and secure Loved and wanted When parents fight, children feel: Stressed Anxious and may withdraw Self-Blame* Feelings that the fight is about them Feelings that they try to make peace and fail AFFECTS ON CHILDREN: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & ABUSE Children living in violent households tend to grow up to be perpetrators or victims 3-10 million children witness domestic violence annually Ef fects of child abuse: More aggressive Behaves negatively Doesn’t get along well with others Does poorly in school Poor problem solving Long-term adjustment problems Can children witnessing violence increase the likelihood of them perpetuate the cycle of violence when they’re adults? APPLYING THEORY How do each of these theories relate to conflict, crisis and family violence? TAKE AWAY POINTS 1. Conflict and crises can be handled in constructive ways 2. Domestic violence comes in many forms 3. Conflict resolution, the handling of crisis and the crime of domestic violence can be learned by children through socialization and thus passed down through generations STUDENT EVALUATIONS 1. Since I am learning how to become the most awesome teacher ever (second to Professor Wonser), would you please fill out these evaluations. 2. The evaluations are to review, as a whole, any of my class participation and: 1. 2. 3. My presentations and PowerPoints The test questions for the units I presented Class activities affiliated with the units I presented 3. They will not af fect your grade what -so-ever 4. They are anonymous 5. Please leave written comments and suggestions, they are so valuable