Gossip—speaking ill of others. Judging Negativity Complaining

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Gossip—speaking ill of others. Judging Negativity Complaining—viral misery Excuses—blame throwers 7.

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Exaggeration—“awesome” extreme words make it harder to find appropriate words to describe an extreme situation. It also cam become lying, embroidering Dogmatism—confusion of facts with opinion; my way or the highway HAIL—to greet or acclaim enthusiastically Honesty-be clear and straight 10.

Authenticity—standing in your own truth 11.

Integrity—be your word 12.

Love—wishing them well; it is hard to judge if you wish someone well 13.

It is WHAT YOU SAY AND THE WAY YOU SAY IT 14.

SPEAKER’S TOOLBOX 15.

Register- falsetto, in between, chest 16.

Timbre- pronounced tamber, richness, warmth 17.

Prosody- meta language, sing song, not monotone, questioning all the time makes it hard to listen to 18.

Pace-rate; can be used for emphasis 19.

Pitch-vary your pitch for emphasis 20.

Volume- don’t be bombastic; it is rude 21.

WARM UPS 22.

Arms up…sigh out 23.

Bah, bah, bah, bah 24.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr 25.

La, la, la, la 26.

Roll tongue 27.

Weeeeeeeeee up and down in pitch 28.

We usually have a situation where people speak, no one is listening, and it is in a bad environment 29.

We need to have powerful speech where people are listening in a good environment 30.

In this kind of world people could create, receive, in well-designed environments 31.

Communication is how we create and exchange messages with others. 32.

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Types of interpersonal communication: 34.

Linear: Message flows in one direction from a sender to a receiver. 35.

In all interpersonal communication models, there is always noise; meaning factors that can impede the message from being received. 36.

Interactive: There is a sender and receiver, but there are two additional factors influencing the transmission—feedback (verbal and nonverbal) and fields of experience. If field of experience is similar the ease of understanding is better. 37.

Transactional: communication is fundamentally multidirectional. 38.

The messages are exchanged through channels, jointly creating meaning. 39.

Each person equally influences the conversation. 40.

There is no perceived sender or receiver. 41.

Most interpersonal communication is transactional 42.

Impacts our relationships. It changes thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and relationships. 43.

Communication relationships 44.

I-thou 45.

competent communication 46.

welcoming 47.

respectful 48.

I-it 49.

Focuses on personal differences 50.

Refuses to accept the other’s opinions as valid 51.

Creates a distance 52.

Views the other as an object to exploit 53.

Becomes disrespectful and manipulative as it worsens, and relationship deteriorates 54.

Interpersonal Communication: 55.

Conveys: 56.

Content information-actual meaning of the words 57.

Relationship information- indicates how each person views the relationship 58.

This can create problems when perception of sender in situation is different from the receiver. 59.

How can we assure we are not sending a different message than intended? 60.

Metacommunication: 61.

Communication about how we communicate 62.

It is any message that includes information, both verbal and non-verbal, that is centrally focused on the meaning of the communication. 63.

It is about how the information is perceived. 64.

Interpersonal Communication can be:

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Intentional 66.

Unintentional 67.

People tend to attach meaning to nearly everything you say and do. 68.

It is impossible to not communicate. 69.

Is irreversible: 70.

Even how you answer your phone effects the rest of the conversation and can change the relationship. 71.

Once it is said, you cannot take it back- 72.

Facebook posts 73.

Texts 74.

Voicemails 75.

Instagram 76.

Spoken thoughts 77.

Think before you communicate! 78.

Is dynamic 79.

When you interact with others, your communication and all that influences it (perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions) is constantly in flux. 80.

The complex combination of perceptions, thoughts, moods, and emotions that fuel communication choices is constantly changing. For instance, you are overjoyed to see someone and then a few minutes later, you have nothing to say to each other. 81.

Helen Keller 82.

Became blind and deaf at 19 months old 83.

When she couldn’t hear, she stopped trying to talk 84.

Felt isolated and frustrated. She said she became a phantom. That phantom threw temper tantrums and even punched her teacher in the mouth. 85.

She learned sign language and began to feel a sense of returning thought 86.

It is a profound human need to communicate 87.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: 88.

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How does interpersonal communication assist people in pursuing higher needs? 90.

Three types of goals it helps us meet:

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Self presentation goals-helps you to determine how you are perceived 92.

Instrumental goals-practical aims you want to achieve or tasks you want to accomplish through a particular interpersonal encounter 93.

Relationship goals-building, maintaining, or terminating bonds with others 94.

Interpersonal Competence is: 95.

Constantly communicating in ways that are appropriate 96.

Following accepted norms 97.

Effective 98.

Enables speaker to achieve goals 99.

Ethical 100.

Treats people fairly 101.

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Knowing what it means is the first step in developing interpersonal communication competence. The second step is to TRANSLATE THE KNOWLEDGE INTO COMMUNICATION SKILLS 102.

Repeatable 103.

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Goal directed Routinely practiced BUT… YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED TO IMPROVE! 107.

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Appropriateness: It matches the: Situation Relationship Cultural Expectations of how people should communicate. 113.

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Self Monitoring Checking our own communication against the social norms Overemphasizing appropriateness can cause loss of freedom to express because of peer pressure or fear of people thinking you are negative. 116.

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Effectiveness: Able, through communication, to accomplish interpersonal goals: self presentational 120.

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You want to go to the movies (instrumental) but your friend needs your emotional support (relational). Do you say “I’ll call you after the movie”? Or do you say, “I’ll see the movie another time—tonight Ill hang out with you”? 124.

instrumental relational Example of trade off: Which choice is more competent? 125.

Ethics:

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The set of moral principles that govern our behavior toward others. At a minimum, we are ethically obligated to avoid intentionally hurting others through our communication. 128.

Meaning: 129.

If it hurts another person’s self esteem 130.

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Expresses intolerance or hatred Intimidates or threatens another’s physical well-being Expresses violence All of the above are incompetent. To be truly ethical: Go beyond simply not doing harm. 136.

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Strive to treat others with: Respect Honesty Kindness Positivity 141.

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It is easy to be competent when the situation is easy and demands little of us 142.

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BUT.. When we can consistently communicate competently across all situations we face; i.e. uncertain, complex, unpleasant— Only then are we truly competent communicators. 145.

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Online communication competence: Email Text Instant messaging Social media posting 150.

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Tons of benefits from these mediums. Meet people Maintain relationships especially with distant people Sense of community 154.

Because we use it so often ALL THE MORE REASON WE NEED TO BUILD ONLINE COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE! 155.

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Match the gravity of the message with the right communication medium. Example: text messaging a friend to invite for dinner rather than show up at their job It’s quicker and less disruptive 158.

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Emailing is better for dealing with certain types of conflict more time to frame your words, unlike face-to-face Online is not good for giving lengthy discussions, personal problems, or weighty relationship decisions 161.

Important news should be shared in person 162.

Don’t assume online is more efficient

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Matters of relationship issues or strongly emotional are handled more ethically in person or over the phone 164.

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Even deciding where to meet for lunch can be faster over the phone than by text Always assume your posts are public Don’t post anything that although funny, may hurt someone else. This stuff can go viral so easily 167.

Even privacy settings won’t stop the person you sent to from forwarding. 168.

Don’t assume online is more efficient 169.

Matters of relationship issues or strongly emotional are handled more ethically in person or over the phone 170.

Even deciding where to meet for lunch can be faster over the phone than by text 171.

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so easily Always assume your posts are public Don’t post anything that although funny, may hurt someone else. This stuff can go viral 173.

Even privacy settings won’t stop the person you sent to from forwarding

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