1.
Gossip—speaking ill of others.
2.
Judging
3.
Negativity
4.
Complaining—viral misery
5.
Excuses—blame throwers
6.
Exaggeration—“awesome” extreme words make it harder to find appropriate words to describe an extreme situation. It also cam become lying, embroidering
7.
Dogmatism—confusion of facts with opinion; my way or the highway
8.
HAIL—to greet or acclaim enthusiastically
9.
Honesty-be clear and straight
10.
Authenticity—standing in your own truth
11.
Integrity—be your word
12.
Love—wishing them well; it is hard to judge if you wish someone well
13.
It is WHAT YOU SAY AND THE WAY YOU SAY IT
14.
SPEAKER’S TOOLBOX
15.
Register- falsetto, in between, chest
16.
Timbre- pronounced tamber, richness, warmth
17.
Prosody- meta language, sing song, not monotone, questioning all the time makes it hard to listen to
18.
Pace-rate; can be used for emphasis
19.
Pitch-vary your pitch for emphasis
20.
Volume- don’t be bombastic; it is rude
21.
WARM UPS
22.
Arms up…sigh out
23.
Bah, bah, bah, bah
24.
Brrrrrrrrrrrr
25.
La, la, la, la
26.
Roll tongue
27.
Weeeeeeeeee up and down in pitch
28.
We usually have a situation where people speak, no one is listening, and it is in a bad environment
29.
We need to have powerful speech where people are listening in a good environment
30.
In this kind of world people could create, receive, in well-designed environments
31.
Communication is how we create and exchange messages with others.
32.

33.
Types of interpersonal communication:
34.
Linear: Message flows in one direction from a sender to a receiver.
35.
In all interpersonal communication models, there is always noise; meaning factors that can impede the message from being received.
36.
Interactive: There is a sender and receiver, but there are two additional factors influencing the transmission—feedback (verbal and nonverbal) and fields of experience. If field of experience is similar the ease of understanding is better.
37.
Transactional: communication is fundamentally multidirectional.
38.
The messages are exchanged through channels, jointly creating meaning.
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Each person equally influences the conversation.
40.
There is no perceived sender or receiver.
41.
Most interpersonal communication is transactional
42.
Impacts our relationships. It changes thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and relationships.
43.
Communication relationships
44.
I-thou
45.
competent communication
46.
welcoming
47.
respectful
48.
I-it
49.
Focuses on personal differences
50.
Refuses to accept the other’s opinions as valid
51.
Creates a distance
52.
Views the other as an object to exploit
53.
Becomes disrespectful and manipulative as it worsens, and relationship deteriorates
54.
Interpersonal Communication:
55.
Conveys:
56.
Content information-actual meaning of the words
57.
Relationship information- indicates how each person views the relationship
58.
This can create problems when perception of sender in situation is different from the receiver.
59.
How can we assure we are not sending a different message than intended?
60.
Metacommunication:
61.
Communication about how we communicate
62.
It is any message that includes information, both verbal and non-verbal, that is centrally focused on the meaning of the communication.
63.
It is about how the information is perceived.
64.
Interpersonal Communication can be:

65.
Intentional
66.
Unintentional
67.
People tend to attach meaning to nearly everything you say and do.
68.
It is impossible to not communicate.
69.
Is irreversible:
70.
Even how you answer your phone effects the rest of the conversation and can change the relationship.
71.
Once it is said, you cannot take it back-
72.
Facebook posts
73.
Texts
74.
Voicemails
75.
Instagram
76.
Spoken thoughts
77.
Think before you communicate!
78.
Is dynamic
79.
When you interact with others, your communication and all that influences it (perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions) is constantly in flux.
80.
The complex combination of perceptions, thoughts, moods, and emotions that fuel communication choices is constantly changing. For instance, you are overjoyed to see someone and then a few minutes later, you have nothing to say to each other.
81.
Helen Keller
82.
Became blind and deaf at 19 months old
83.
When she couldn’t hear, she stopped trying to talk
84.
Felt isolated and frustrated. She said she became a phantom. That phantom threw temper tantrums and even punched her teacher in the mouth.
85.
She learned sign language and began to feel a sense of returning thought
86.
It is a profound human need to communicate
87.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:
88.
89.
How does interpersonal communication assist people in pursuing higher needs?
90.
Three types of goals it helps us meet:

91.
Self presentation goals-helps you to determine how you are perceived
92.
Instrumental goals-practical aims you want to achieve or tasks you want to accomplish through a particular interpersonal encounter
93.
Relationship goals-building, maintaining, or terminating bonds with others
94.
Interpersonal Competence is:
95.
Constantly communicating in ways that are appropriate
96.
Following accepted norms
97.
Effective
98.
Enables speaker to achieve goals
99.
Ethical
100.
Treats people fairly
101.
Knowing what it means is the first step in developing interpersonal communication competence. The second step is to TRANSLATE THE KNOWLEDGE INTO COMMUNICATION SKILLS
102.
Repeatable
103.
104.
Goal directed
Routinely practiced
105.
106.
BUT…
YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED TO IMPROVE!
107.
108.
109.
110.
111.
112.
Appropriateness:
It matches the:
Situation
Relationship
Cultural
Expectations of how people should communicate.
113.
114.
115.
Self Monitoring
Checking our own communication against the social norms
Overemphasizing appropriateness can cause loss of freedom to express because of peer pressure or fear of people thinking you are negative.
116.
117.
118.
119.
Effectiveness:
Able, through communication, to accomplish interpersonal goals: self presentational
120.
121.
122.
instrumental relational
Example of trade off:
123.
You want to go to the movies (instrumental) but your friend needs your emotional support (relational). Do you say “I’ll call you after the movie”? Or do you say, “I’ll see the movie another time—tonight Ill hang out with you”?
124.
Which choice is more competent?
125.
Ethics:

126.
127.
The set of moral principles that govern our behavior toward others.
At a minimum, we are ethically obligated to avoid intentionally hurting others through our communication.
128.
Meaning:
129.
If it hurts another person’s self esteem
130.
131.
132.
133.
134.
135.
Expresses intolerance or hatred
Intimidates or threatens another’s physical well-being
Expresses violence
All of the above are incompetent.
To be truly ethical:
Go beyond simply not doing harm.
136.
137.
138.
139.
140.
Strive to treat others with:
Respect
Honesty
Kindness
Positivity
141.
It is easy to be competent when the situation is easy and demands little of us
142.
143.
BUT..
When we can consistently communicate competently across all situations we face; i.e. uncertain, complex, unpleasant—
144.
Only then are we truly competent communicators.
145.
146.
147.
148.
149.
Online communication competence:
Email
Text
Instant messaging
Social media posting
150.
151.
152.
153.
Tons of benefits from these mediums.
Meet people
Maintain relationships especially with distant people
Sense of community
154.
Because we use it so often ALL THE MORE REASON WE NEED TO BUILD ONLINE
COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE!
155.
156.
157.
Match the gravity of the message with the right communication medium.
Example: text messaging a friend to invite for dinner rather than show up at their job
It’s quicker and less disruptive
158.
159.
160.
Emailing is better for dealing with certain types of conflict more time to frame your words, unlike face-to-face
Online is not good for giving lengthy discussions, personal problems, or weighty relationship decisions
161.
Important news should be shared in person
162.
Don’t assume online is more efficient

163.
Matters of relationship issues or strongly emotional are handled more ethically in person or over the phone
164.
165.
166.
Even deciding where to meet for lunch can be faster over the phone than by text
Always assume your posts are public
Don’t post anything that although funny, may hurt someone else. This stuff can go viral so easily
167.
Even privacy settings won’t stop the person you sent to from forwarding.
168.
Don’t assume online is more efficient
169.
Matters of relationship issues or strongly emotional are handled more ethically in person or over the phone
170.
Even deciding where to meet for lunch can be faster over the phone than by text
171.
172.
so easily
Always assume your posts are public
Don’t post anything that although funny, may hurt someone else. This stuff can go viral
173.
Even privacy settings won’t stop the person you sent to from forwarding