Elphaba "Wicked"
(Writing with quill perched upon suitcase, pausing occasionally to see audience
staring at her) What? What are you all staring at? (Realization dawns upon her)
Oh! Do I have something in my teeth? Alright may as well get this over with.
(Pause, throws suit case) No I am not seasick, yes I have always been green
and NO I didn't eat grass as a child! Ugh! (Sits back down with a FRUMP) Sweet
Oz, you know what annoys me, you know what REALLY melts me up inside? It's
that all of you have this stupidobsession with my verdigris to an obscure degree, I
mean really! (pause) It's like all you munchkins are so small minded and all you
witches and wizards are acting like I've got a spell on me and well the animals are
acting like… (pause) animals! I… (thinking) I just don't see why this skin should
be how people judge me; I mean they should at least get to know
my terriblepersonality before they hate me!
Our Town
written by Thornton Wilder
Emily: Oh, Mama, look at me one minute as though you really saw me.
Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother,
Mama! Wally's dead, too. His appendix burst on a camping trip to North
Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a
moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's
really look at one another!...I can't. I can't go on.It goes so fast. We don't
have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. So all that was going on
and we never noticed. Take me back -- up the hill -- to my grave. But first:
Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's
Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's
sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot
baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for
anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they
live it--every,every minute?
Stage Manager: No. (pause) The saints and poets, maybe they do some.
Emily: I'm ready to go back.
A Chorus Line
written by Nicholas Dante & James Kirkwood Jr.
Val: So, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks
goodbye, got on a Trailways bus - and headed for the big
bad apple. Cause I wanted to be a Rockette.
I decided to
be a Rockette because this girl in my home town - Louella
Heiner - had actually gotten out and made it in New York.
And she was a Rockette. Well, she came home one
Christmas to visit, and they gave her a parade. A. Parade! I
twirled a friggin' baton for two hours in the rain.
Unfortunately though, she got knocked up over Christmas...
Merry Christmas!! - and never made it back to Radio
City.
That was my plan. New York, New York. Except I
had one minor problem. See, I was ugly as sin. I was ugly,
skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as a pancake. Get the
picture? Anyway, I got off this bus in my little white shoes,
my little white tights, little white dress, my little ugly face,
and my long blonde hair - which was natural then. I looked
like a frigging nurse! I had 87 dollars in my pocket and
seven years of tap and acrobatics. I could do a hundred and
eighty degree split and come up tapping the Morse Code.
Well, with that kind of talent I figured the Mayor would be
waiting for me at Port Authority. Wrong! I had to wait 6
months for an audition. Well, finally the big day came. I
showed up at the Music Hall with my red patent leather tap
shoes. And I did my little tap routine. And this man said to
me: Can you do fankicks? - Well, sure I could do terrific
fankicks. But they weren't good enough. Of course, what he
was trying to tell me was...it was the way I looked, not the
fankicks. So I said: To Hell with you, Radio City and the
Rockettes! I'm gonna make on Broadway!
Well,
Broadway, same story. Every audition. I mean I'd dance
rings around the other girls and find myself in the alley
with the other rejects. But after a while I caught on. I mean
I had eyes. I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my
dance card once after an audition. And on a scale of
10....they gave me for dance 10. For looks: 3.
"Promedy" by Wade Bradford:
Dante is a rather goofy, overly dramatic vice-president of the Student Body. During an
ASB meeting, in front of his fellow classmates, he decides to ask Kay, the text-messaging
obsessed cheerleader, to be his prom date.
DANTE: Kay, I know that you're one of the most popular girls in school, and that you
scarcely know how to pronounce my name, or use proper grammar. But I've had a crush
on you since the days when you would ignore me in kindergarten all the way to this
afternoon when you ignored me in the cafeteria lunch line. Some might say ours is a
misunderstood romance. I remember in second grade, I wrote you a note in Mrs.
Souplanger's class. It said, "Do you like me? circle yes or no." My friends said you tore
up the note in disgust. But I knew you were ripping up confetti to celebrate our newfound
love. I know that you have been pretending to ignore me all these years because secretly,
deep down, you know that you like me as much as I like you, probably even more. Well,
you don't have to be scared and shy any more. I'm going to make both of our wishes
come true. Will you go to the prom with me?
(Dante reacts to her rejection.)
Should I take the rolling of your eyes as a "yes"?
“Promedy” by Wad Bradford
From a new play, Promedy by Wade Bradford, this monologue is delivered by the
normally bookish Beatrix Holiday, the 17-year old president of the student body. After
her "ex-friend" deviously cancels the prom, Beatrix decides to find a way to bring back
the end of the year dance. In this monologue, Beatrix explains to her fellow student why
Prom means so much to her:
That's not true. Young women need the Prom. It's a rite of passage as sacred as getting
your driver's license or buying your first bra. There are only a few things in life that are
guaranteed to be glorious and memorable and sparkling with gowns and cummerbunds.
Prom is the quintessential teenage experience. Think of the unlucky grown-ups and the
elderly who lament the day they decided not to go to the Prom. It is a key ingredient to a
happy and meaningful life. Prom is short for Promenade, a slow, gentle walk through a
shady glen, and this beloved ceremony symbolizes our journey from the shadows of
adolescence to the bright sunshine of the adult world with all its freedoms. And it may be
the only chance I'll ever have to dance with a boy. Maybe I'll never have someone get
down on their knee and Offer me a diamond ring. Maybe I'll never walk down the aisle
with a smug look of bridal triumph. But it is my right, and the right of every plain,
frumpy, book-wormish, soon-to-be librarian to have one night of Cinderella magic. Even
if we have to go with our cousin, or our gay best friend from tap class, we will have a
Prom. And you will help me.
Beauty and the Beast
1. BELLE: (Speaking to the Bookseller) Good Morning! I’ve come to return the book I
borrowed. I couldn’t put it down. I wondered if you have got anything new? If not, I will
just borrow one I have already read. It’s my favorite. Far-off places, daring sword fights,
magic spells, a prince in disguise...Mine? You are giving it to me? Well, thank you!
Thank you very much!
2. BELLE: (To the Beast) who’s there! Oh, then you’re the one responsible for locking
up my poor father! Release my father at once! No! Wait! Forgive me! Please let him out.
Can’t you see he’s not well? He’s an old man. He could die! Wait, please...take me
instead! If I take his place, will you let him go? Come into the light and let me see you.
(Belle sees him and reacts.) You have my word. I will stay here forever. (Belle falls down
in tears.) I’ll never see him again...and I didn’t even get to say good bye.
3. LEFOU: (To Gaston) You didn’t miss a shot, Gaston. You’re the greatest hunter in the
whole world. (Gaston: I know) No beast alive stands a chance against you! And no girl
for that matter. (Gaston: It’s true, Lefou. And I’ve got my sights set on that one) The
inventor’s daughter? (Gaston: She’s the lucky girl I’m going to marry) But, she’s –
(Gaston: The most beautiful girl in town) I know, but – (Gaston: And don’t I deserve the
best?) Well, of course you do!
4. GASTON: (To Belle, Handing her flowers) for you...Mademoiselle. I know I shouldn’t
have, so don’t mention it. Belle, this is the day your dreams come true! I know all about
them. Picture this. A rustic hunting lodge. My little wife massaging my feet while the
strapping boys play on the floor with the dogs. We’ll have six or seven. Boys, not dogs.
So Belle, what’ll it be? (Belle leaves.) That Belle, always playing hard to get. She turned
me down for now, but I’ll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that!
GASTON:(ToBelle&Villagers)ifIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dthinkyouhad feelings for this
monster. She’s as crazy as the old man! She says this creature is her friend. Well, I’ve
hunted wild beasts and I’ve seen what they can do! The Beast will make off with your
children. He’ll come after them in the night! Forget the old man! I say...we kill the Beast!
Try and stop us! We’ll rid the village of this Beast. Who’s with me?
BEAST: There’s a stranger here! Who let him in? You have all betrayed me! Who are
you? What are you doing in my castle? You’re not welcome here! I am hideous aren’t I?
You’ve come to see the Beast, haven’t you? I’ll give you a place to stay! ((Grabs
Maurice) (Pause, change mood.) (To Belle) Belle, are you happy here? With me? Is
something wrong? You miss your father? There is a way to see him again. This mirror
will show you anything ...anything you wish to see. He is lost? You should go to him.
You’re not my prisoner, Belle. You haven’t been for a long time. Take the mirror with
you. So you’ll always have a way to look back...and remember me. Go...Go. (She exits)
I’ll never see her again.
LUMIERE: (CANDLE): (Try a French Accent) (Kissing Belle’s hand) Enchante’
Mademoiselle. Remember, Cogsworth, she is not a prisoner. She’s our guest! We must
make her feel welcome here! Oh, and what is a dinner without a little music? Ma Chere
mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the Dining Room proudly
presents...your dinner?
COGSWORTH (CLOCK): (Try a British Accent) (To Belle) Hello, I am Cogsworth,
head of the household. And this is Lumiere...If there is anything we can do to make your
stay more comfortable, anything...anything at all! Except feeding you! Can’t do that. You
heard what the Master said! Oh fine. A glass of water, crust of bread and then... Oh all
right, dinner. But keep it down! It the Master finds out, it’ll be our necks! What?? You
want music too??
MRS POTTS (TEAPOT) (Try a British Accent) (To Beast) try to be patient. The poor
girl has lost her father. We won’t be human again that soon. These things take time.
Master, you must help her see past how you look. You could start by trying to make
yourself more presentable. Be gentle. And above all....you must control your temper!
Deep breaths, Master. Deep breaths. (After Belle refuses to come out) Well, what did
you expect? Would you have us give up? I like the girl. I like her spunk. (To Belle)
Hello, Dearie. I hope the Master didn’t frighten you too much. He can be a little
temperamental.
This from Star-Spangled Girl by Neil Simon:
Background Info: Sophie Rauschmeyer is a lovely young blonde (all American girl) who
speaks with an Arkansas drawl.
Mr. Cornell, Ah have tried to be neighborly, Ah have tried to be friendly, and Ah have
tried to be cordial...Ah don't know what it is that you're tryin' to be. That first night Ah
was appreciative that you carried mah trunk up the stairs...The fact that it slipped and fell
five flights and smashed to pieces was not your fault...Ah didn't even mind that personal
message you painted on the stairs. Ah thought it was crazy, but sorta sweet.
However, things have now gone too far...Ah cannot accept gifts from a man Ah hardly
know...Especially canned goods. And Ah read your little note. Ah can guess the gist of it
even though Ah don't speak Italian. This has got to stop, Mr. Cornell. Ah can do very
well without you leavin' little chocolate-almond Hershey bars in mah mailbox--they
melted yesterday, and now Ah got three gooey letters from home with nuts in 'em--and
Ah can do without you sneakin' into mah room after Ah go to work and paintin' mah
balcony without tellin' me about it. Ah stepped out there yesterday and mah slippers are
still glued to the floor. And Ah can do without you tying big bottles of eau de cologne to
mah cat's tail. The poor thing kept swishin' it yesterday and nearly beat herself to death...
Amadeus by Peter Shaffer
Background Info: Mozart is in a circle of respected composers explaining why he should
be able to perform a vulger opera.
That's why opera is important, Baron. Because it's realer than any play! A dramatic poet
would have to put all those thoughts down one after another just to represent this second
of time. The composer can put them all down at once - and still make us hear each one of
them. Astonishing device: a Vocal Quartet! ....I tell you I want to write a finale lasting
half and hour! A quartet becoming a quintet becoming a sextet. On and on, wider and
wider - all sounds multiplying and rising together - and the together creating a sound
entirely new!
.... I bet you that's how God hears the world: millions of sounds ascending at once and
mixing in His ear to become an unending music, unimaginable to us! That's our job!
That's our job, we composers: to combine the inner minds of him and him and him and
her and her - the thoughts of chambermaids and Court Composers - and turn the audience
into God. (blows a raspberry and giggles) I'm sorry. I talk nonsense all day: it's incurable
- ask Stanzerl. My tongue is stupid Baron. My heart isn't.