EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
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Effects of Divorce on Children
Kaersten Aylor
Bridgewater College
10/25/2013
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Abstract
Literature involving the effects of divorce on children is reviewed to show how parent-child
relationships change post-divorce, children have socio-emotional effects resulting from parental
divorce, and trust in future relationships is altered because of divorce. Divorce causes huge
changes in family structure and changes parent-child relationships for all families based on their
stability before divorce. Parental divorce is a trial that many children experience and research
has shown that many mental and emotional adjustments are made. Trust in future relationships
is discussed along with how divorce affects a child’s socio-emotional health. Many factors
contribute to the long term outcome of a child, so negative factors resulting from parental
divorce can be overcome.
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Effects of Divorce on Children
In the past divorce was less common, but through the years this view has changed.
According to Kelly and Emery (2003), the view of divorce changed two decades ago and is now
seen as a continuing process with many challenges for children, rather than a single event.
Divorce has become a common occurrence in today’s society that many families experience
(Neale & Flowerdew, 2007). Research revealed that every year for the past few decades 50,000
children have experienced parental divorce and 50% of marriages end in divorce (Baxter,
Weston, & Qu, 2011). According to King (2002), in recent decades parental divorce has
increased and continues to remain at a high rate and because of this many youth experience the
abrupt change in lifestyle that divorce presents. The family structure changes, one parent moves
out, and the child now must adapt to the new family roles divorce presents. Despite the
difficulties presented by divorce only ten percent of divorced families seek professional help
(Neale & Flowerdew, 2007). This low percentage is disappointing because professional help
could be strongly beneficial to maintaining a healthy post-divorce outlook on life, relationships,
and any aspect of the future for children. Research suggests that therapy can help parents
broaden their view of post-divorce family to keep family relationships strong (Ahrons, 2007).
According to Ahrons (2007), longitudinal studies prove that dramatic changes occur in a child’s
life during the years following their parent’s divorce. These changes occur in family structure,
and the family structure is what ultimately has a lasting effect on the couple’s children (Baxter et
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al, 2011). Baxter et al (2011), states that children just need to readjust to the new family
structure and the experiences they go through while adjusting will have an impact on their future
outcome. Many circumstances determine the overall outcome of a child, according to Kelly and
Emery (2003), and if the parent-child relationship is strong all negative effects of divorce on
children can be overcome. There are some cases of negative outcomes in children from parental
divorce, but despite that most studies found that the majority of children turn out fine.
Parent-Child Relationships
Parental divorce can have a negative impact on parent-child relationships because it can
affect the quality and quantity of time children spend with their parents (King, 2002). Parents
become immersed in dealing with their own emotions from the divorce and pay less attention to
the children (King, 2002). According to Kelly and Emery (2003), children are used to seeing
both parents every day and after divorce children generally see their non-residential parent only
four days each month. The nonresidential parent is usually the father and because of this the
father-child relationship is compromised when divorce occurs (King, 2002). Research states that
18-25 percent of children have no contact with their fathers 2-3 years after divorce (Kelly &
Emery, 2003). Many different factors contribute to father-child relationships after divorce.
Research mentioned by Ahrons and Tanner in 2003 states that living arrangements, amount of
time spent together, and amount of money for child support all influence the long-term fatherchild relationship. Boys typically have a harder time accepting the new living arrangements
resulting from divorce because they were used to spending a great amount of time with their
fathers and after divorce they do not see them very often (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Research has
shown that the stability of the divorced parents’ pre-divorce and post-divorce relationship has a
large influence over how stable the parent-child relationship will be concerning mothers and
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fathers (Ahrons & Tanner, 2003). Custodial mothers get to decide when and how often fathers
get to spend time with the children and this can be a huge contributor to both mother-child and
father-child relationships. If parents’ relationship is filled with conflict fathers often draw back
from their children to avoid any confrontation with their ex-wife (Ahrons & Tanner, 2003). On
the other hand, when parents maintain a low-conflict relationship and mothers continue to
support father-child interactions; fathers are more likely to stay involved five years after the
divorce (Ahrons & Tanner, 2003). According to research findings stated by Kelly and Emery
(2003), parents that were in high conflict marriages are more likely to participate in diminished
parenting after getting divorce. Mothers became “less warm, more rejecting, and use harsher
discipline”, while fathers “withdraw more from and engage in more intrusive interactions with
their children” (Kelly & Emery, 2003, p. 354). It is difficult for parents to transition through
these changes in family structure and continue strong parenting, and that is why the post-divorce
parent-child relationship can be so problematic (Cohen & Finzi-Dottan, 2005). To overcome
these problems parents need to be willing to have continued interaction with one another.
According to Ahrons and Tanner (2003), parents need to develop new arrangements to
successfully raise their children as a binuclear family. Parent-child relationships are continually
evolving and how children relate to their parents is determined by other relationships they have
with outside forces such as other family members and friends (Neale & Flowerdew, 2007).
These outside forces can positively influence parent-child relationships, especially mother-child,
but most findings indicate that problematic parent-child relationships resulting from divorce in
families continue throughout a lifetime (Cohen & Finzi-Dottan, 2005).
Socio-emotional Effects
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According to Kelly and Emery’s research in 2003, for the past 40 years divorce has
caused a range of emotional problems in adolescents. The whole routine of daily life changes for
an adolescent when divorce occurs. According to Baxter et al (2011), the increase in financial
difficulties, change of household and school, as well as diminished parenting are a few of the
huge changes that children experience because of divorce. These changes result in an unnatural
amount of stress placed on children and since the parents are also dealing with the emotional
backlash of the divorce, children do not always have them to fall back on. According to Cohen
and Finzi-Dottan, parents are less available, emotionally and physically, for their children after
divorce because they are trying to adjust to this new lifestyle (2005). Research shows that one
major contributor to a child’s stress is continued conflict between parents during separation and
after divorce (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Kelly and Emery’s research states that some parents use
their children as weapons against one another and this causes loyalty conflicts and great amounts
of stress in their children (2003). Children feel like they have no control over their lives
following divorce and they have a higher risk of adjustment problems which can be long lasting
and effect their view on life (Kelly & Emery, 2003; Baxter et al, 2011). Children are usually
angry and distressed when confronted with the divorce because they were never emotionally
prepared for their parents to separate (Kelly & Emery, 2003; Cohen & Finzi-Dottan, 2005).
Parents do not inform their children about the divorce adequately and the children are left to
struggle with it alone, because of this, children feel isolated and emotionally confused (Kelly &
Emery, 2003). Moving between two households can be particularly stressful for children.
According to Kelly and Emery (2003), shifting between two households can be emotionally
draining for children because they have to adapt to the different roles expected of them in
different households. Children go through many changes in family structure because of divorce
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and if these life transitions are not handled well it could lead to bad socio-emotional outcomes,
but as long as the post-divorce family structure is stable and parents can work together, children
could produce stable emotional outcomes (Kelly & Emery, 2003). According to information
gathered by Velez, Wolchik, Tein, and Sandler (2011), children have better emotional health
when the parent-mother relationship is strong and healthy because they are more likely to turn to
their mother for help when solving problems instead of stressing over it alone. Children are also
more comfortable in their environment when it is stable and predictable. This is why the
unpredictability of divorce causes children some emotional problems. Predictability gives a
child some sense of control, so it is essential that parents create a stable and predictable
atmosphere for children post-divorce (Velez et al, 2011). The majority of children post-divorce
are emotionally well adjusted and have overcome the risks presented to them by maintaining a
stable environment post-divorce (Kelly & Emery, 2003).
Trust in Future Relationships
The relationship between parents and children is what first begins to build a child’s sense
of trust. When divorce occurs, the parent-child relationship changes and can lead children to
have a negative view towards any future relationships. According to research stated by King, it
is not the divorce itself that impacts a child’s sense of trust, but it is the effects that the divorce
has on parent’s actions and attitudes (2002). King also states that offspring will question the
quality and stability of relationships from witnessing the fallout of their parents’ marriage.
Children also lose the interaction of extended family members because of divorce which, in turn,
leads to fewer resources of affection and causes children to question trusting people (King,
2002). Children of divorced couples are fearful of commitment and failure in regards to
relationships (Kelly & Emery, 2003). They are also more depressed and anxious. The attachment
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theory supports the idea that the age of the child matters in relation to the impact divorce has on
the child’s sense of future trust. When parents get divorced during their child’s adolescent years
it will have a larger negative impact on the child’s development of trust compared to children
whose parents divorce in their later years (King, 2002). According to king (2002), there are
three instances that will have large negative impacts on a child’s development of trust. First is
when divorce occurs during the child’s younger years, the second is when parent-child ties are
weak, and the third is when divorced children experience their own failed relationship in early
adulthood. According to King in 2002, the negative effects of trust can be overcome if the
parent-child relationship is strong and healthy.
Limitations
Further studies need to be done on this topic because there have not been enough
longitudinal studies done up to now that can give a clear overall description of the effects of
divorce (Cohen & Finzi-dottan, 2007). Research is limited and from the amount offered the
findings mostly focus on parental satisfaction and barely mention the children (Kelly & Emery,
2003). There is little research that focuses solely on fathers because up until very recently
fathers were not seen as an important factor in child development (Kelly & Emery, 2003).
According to Cohen and Finzi-Dottan (2007), it is very difficult to get both parents to participate
in research studies. A more direct and diverse study of the family post-divorce is needed to fully
understand the effect of divorce on the majority of families nationwide (Cohen & Finzi-Dottan,
2007).
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Resources
Ahrons, C. R. (2007). Family ties after divorce: Long-term implications for children. Family
Process, 46(1), 53-65. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2006.00191.x
Ahrons, C. R., & Tanner, J. L. (2003). Adult children and their fathers: Relationship changes
20 years after parental divorce. Family Relations, 52(4), 340-351. Retrieved from http:/
/search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=11287550&site=ehost-live
Baxter, J., Weston, R., & Qu, L. (2011). Family structure, co-parental relationship quality, postseparation paternal involvement and children’s emotional wellbeing. Journal of Family
Studies, 17(2), 86-109. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?
direct=true&db=a9h&AN=73802872&site=ehost-live
Cohen, O., & Finzi-Dottan, R. (2005). Parent-child relationships during the divorce process;
from attachment theory and intergenerational perspective. Contemporary Family
Therapy: An International Journal, 27(1), 81-99. doi:10.1007/s10591-004-1972-3
Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's adjustment following divorce: Risk and
resilience perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362. Retrieved from http://
search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=11287741&site=ehost-live
King, V. (2002). Parental divorce and interpersonal trust in adult offspring. Journal Of
Marriage & Family, 64(3), 642-656. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login
.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=7063919&site=ehost-live
EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
Neale, B., & Flowerdew, J. (2007). New structures, new agency: The dynamics of child-parent
relationships after divorce. International Journal of Children's Rights, 15(1), 25-42.
doi:10.1163/092755607X185546
Vélez, C. E., Wolchik, S. A., Tein, J., & Sandler, I. (2011). Protecting children from the
consequences of divorce: A longitudinal study of the effects of parenting on children's
coping processes. Child Development, 82(1), 244-257. doi:10.1111/j.1468624.2010.01553.x
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