How to THINK before you ACT!
HORSES ARE BIG, POWERFUL,
PREY ANIMALS.
They can be scary.
They can do things we don’t expect.
Worst of all is when we react and
do the exact wrong thing at
the exact right time… because that’s how
we make things worse.
Have you ever reacted out of fear, frustration or
anger? Like when your horse…
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Stopped suddenly
Spooked
Pulled away
Kicked out
Wouldn’t load
Objected to the
clippers
Broke gait
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Changed direction
Resisted
Bucked
Reared
Bolted, took off
Ran away
Did the opposite of
what you asked…
You can’t perform as your horse’s leader when
you’re caught up in your own emotions… or your
horse’s, so here is a technique to help you master
yourself in these situations.
Just say these
3
simple
powerful
words:
Hmm…
How interesting!
Prepare to be amazed at how well this works.
It gives you the savvy to read the situation and
collect your thoughts
BEFORE you act.
Instead of getting
emotional - annoyed,
frustrated, angry,
panicky, scared,
insecure or unsure…
You learn to be in the
moment and stay
focused on what to
do and are less likely
to get upset, react,
use force or abdicate
your position of
leadership.
Being a good leader means becoming more mentally and
emotionally fit, and that’s a never-ending journey.
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Mental fitness means you have the required knowledge.
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Emotional fitness means you have control of your emotions.
One definition of EMOTIONAL FITNESS is:
The ability to stay left-brain in a right-brain situation.
This means you can…
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Think objectively, and
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Respond strategically
…rather than react emotionally.
My horse Highland came to me as ‘untrainable’ and dangerous.
Things had been going well in our first months together, but when my jacket
blew off the fence behind us, Highland freaked out and did the prey-animal
thing:
He jumped out of his skin.
In that moment I remember thinking:
“I AM NOT GOING OUT THE BACK DOOR!”
I work on my emotional fitness every
day, all the time, and continually
rehearse being able to think my way
through unexpected situations.
I may not always be capable of 100%
but every day I get better.
And that incident was a prime
example. Rather than being a victim
of the situation, I took charge of
achieving the outcome I wanted.
I did not go out the back door.
I did whatever it took to stay with my
horse and automatically reached for
my one-rein emergency stop - which
was accomplished 2 strides later.
Most importantly, I did not blame my
horse.
Given that same situation today, his
reaction would be minimal. I’ve
earned a lot more trust as his leader
and he’s a lot more emotionally fit
too.
PATIENCE also takes emotional
fitness, but in a different way.
It means you WAIT for
communication & understanding to
occur rather than force an
immediate response*.
* Except if you are in an emergency
situation of course! We are talking
about teaching, training and learning
here.
Hmm, how interesting…
Can you see Na’vi passively objecting to going when I ask? Rather than
getting frustrated or impatient and using “Phase 4” to make her move, I
stay passively persistent in the proper position and wait for her to respond
to my request… which she did without getting cranky!
As Pat Parelli would say:
“This perspective takes patience.”
Those three little words - Hmm, how
interesting” will help you achieve that
most desirable quality horses crave in
a human:
P A T I E N C E
It also helps you tell the difference between
when your horse is confused or being
disobedient.
It affords you that precious moment to
consider the situation:
IS MY HORSE ASKING ME
A QUESTION?
“What do you want me to do?”
Can you see Slider asking Pat a question?
You know you have communication when your horse “asks you a question”.
You don’t want to miss that. Even more importantly, you don’t want to think
your horse is being disobedient when he’s not. This will affect both trust and
respect in you as the leader.!
Horses get upset when you ‘correct’ them…
Because they don’t know they are wrong.
This kind of body language is proof that we MADE the horse do it,
rather than waited for it to understand, AGREE and respond
appropriately. This, again, is Na’vi and as an LBI this is proofpositive that agreement is critical for positive results and expression!
The Parelli philosophy is deeply about…
Communication,
Understanding
& Psychology
VS
MECHANICS, FEAR & INTIMIDATION
Horses do what they’ve been programmed to do
Sometimes the problems and resistances you experience with
your horse are nothing more than Mother Nature’s perfect
programming of her prey animal species.
In the case of equids, that’s been going on for over 6 million
years, and it might take some consistent effort and proof on your
behalf to get past that with your horse… especially if its had
negative experiences with humans in the past.
You probably wouldn’t get upset if an elk or
deer ran away from you because you can
accept that its a
WILD PREY ANIMAL!
Believe it or not, ALL horses are prey
animals and, while domesticated, some of
them
are still rather untamed and wild beneath
the surface.
And then, some people can drive any horse wild
:(
By the way… have you ever noticed how wild herd
animals tend to face the same direction? Mother
Nature is amazing… she thought ahead about the
chaos that might occur if they were all facing
different directions… and suddenly took flight!
Hmmm. How Interesting!
Say it to yourself
When your horse does something you didn’t
expect or didn’t think you asked for, say to
yourself:
“Hmm! How interesting!”
When you do, three things will automatically
occur:
1. You’ll think before you act.
2. You’ll most likely make the appropriate move.
3. Your horse will not get upset.
I once had a
student tell me
that the ability to
say: “Hmm, how
interesting”
helped his road
rage!
It can even help
you keep your
sense of humor
in bad weather.
;)
Parelli Clinics & Courses are a great way to build emotional
fitness…
…in your horse and yourself. You learn to stay focused on your horse’s needs
and be calm in the company of others. And the more horses and riders, the
better because you’ll gain that much more.
And if you’re worried about looking or feeling stupid, think of it this way: This is
the best place to have a problem because you’ll get answers not judgement.
If you are perfect, we don’t have a job! We LOVE to help.
So are new environments.
It’s all about the goal and, therefore, the preparation.
When you have a goal, even if you don’t reach it,
it will cause you to expand your savvy.
Mastery
with
horses
means you
first have
to master
yourself.
Hmm…
How interesting.