In honor of Thanksgiving
leftovers…
WRITING A STRONG
INTRODUCTION AND
CONCLUSION
Writing Notes
Introductions
What’s the point?

First impressions
 Initial
impressions of your argument, writing style, and
quality of work
 especially important when the audience you are trying
to reach (your teacher) will be grading your work

Road map
 Gives

reader a sense of what points you will cover
Capture interest
 People
should want to read your paper
 Why is the topic important?
Consider the following topic:
Education has long been considered a major force for
American social change, righting the wrongs of our society.
Drawing on the Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass,
discuss the relationship between education and slavery in
19th-century America. Consider the following: How did
white control of education reinforce slavery? How did
Douglass and other enslaved African Americans view
education while they endured slavery? And what role did
education play in the acquisition of freedom? Most
importantly, consider the degree to which education was or
was not a major force for social change with regard to
slavery.
Strategies

Tip #1: Start by thinking about the question (or
questions) you are trying to answer.
 Your
entire essay will be a response to this question,
and your introduction is the first step toward that end.
 Your direct answer to the assigned question will be your
thesis, and your thesis will be included in your
introduction, so it is a good idea to use the question as
a jumping off point.


The prompt itself can also give you some clues about
how to approach the introduction. Notice that it starts
with a broad statement, that education has been
considered a major force for social change, and then
narrows to focus on specific questions from the book.
One strategy might be to use a similar model in your
own introduction —start off with a big picture sentence
or two about the power of education as a force for
change as a way of getting your reader interested and
then focus in on the details of your argument about
Douglass.
Strategies

Tip #2: Decide how general or broad your
opening should be
 Keep
in mind that even a “big picture” opening needs to
be clearly related to your topic
 An opening sentence that said “Human beings, more
than any other creatures on earth, are capable of
learning” would be too broad for our sample
assignment about slavery and education.
 the
introductory sentence about human beings is
mismatched—it’s definitely too broad and doesn’t come
close to addressing the specific topic. When writing, you
need to place your ideas in context.
Strategies

Tip #3: Write your introduction last
 An
introduction written at the beginning will not
necessarily reflect what you wind up with at the end
 Devise your thesis (your argument) and then start the
body paragraphs
 When you have finished your essay, read over your
main points and create an introduction that is reflective
of your work
Strategies

Tip #4: Never announce your intentions
 Avoid
statements like “In this paper, I will argue that
Frederick Douglass valued education.” While this
sentence points toward your main argument, it isn’t
especially interesting. It is much more convincing to tell
us “Frederick Douglass valued education” than to tell us
that you are going to say that he did.
 Assert your main argument confidently. After all, you
can’t expect your reader to believe it if it doesn’t sound
like you believe it!
Formula

Hook: Attract the reader's interest by telling
them that this paper relates to something
interesting. What makes a topic interesting?
Some combination of the following attributes
makes X something worth looking at.
X matters: When X rises or falls, people are hurt or helped.
 X is puzzling: it defies easy explanation.
 X is controversial: some argue one thing while other say
another.
 X is big (like public education) or common (like traffic jams).

Formula

Background: What information should your reader
have before delving into your paper? How can you
transport the reader from wherever they are to the
“setting” of your paper?
Formula

Address the Question: Tell the reader what this
paper actually does. Think of this as the point in a
trial where having detailed the crime, you now
identify a suspect and promise to provide a
persuasive case. The reader should have an idea of
a topic question that will have a more or less
satisfactory answer by the end of the paper.
Formula

Thesis: What is your arguable point?
 Refer
to thesis notes
 This might get rolled into one of your other introductory
elements
Formula

Road-map: Outline the organization of the paper.
Avoid writing an outline so generic that it could
apply to any paper ("the next section is the middle
of the paper and then we have the end"). Instead
customize the road map to the project and possibly
mention pivotal "landmarks“ that will be seen along
the way.
 problems,
solutions, results
 Character A, Character B, Character C

Keep this short!
Intros to Avoid


The place holder introduction. When you don’t have
much to say on a given topic, it is easy to create this
kind of introduction. Essentially, this kind of weaker
introduction contains several sentences that are vague
and don’t really say much. They exist just to take up the
“introduction space” in your paper. If you had
something more effective to say, you would probably
say it, but in the meantime this paragraph is just a place
holder.
Example: Slavery was one of the greatest tragedies in
American history. There were many different aspects of
slavery. Each created different kinds of problems for
enslaved people.
Recap




Formula = Hook + Background + Address Question
+ Thesis + Road Map
Never announce your intentions
Determine how broad or specific your intro should
be before beginning
Avoid common intro errors
Sample Intro
Given all of the freedoms that were denied
enslaved individuals in the American South, one might
wonder why Frederick Douglass focused his attentions
so squarely on education and literacy. In the 1800s,
slavery was a way of life in the American South.
Slaves had no real way to educate themselves,
meaning that few knew how to read or write. For
Frederick Douglass, education was the major force for
social change in regard to slavery. Not only did it
provide important life skills, it also improved slaves’
sense of self worth, and ultimately helped them
aquire freedom.
Conclusions
What’s the Point?

Your conclusion is your chance to have the last word
on the subject.
 Allows
you to have the final say on the issues you have
raised in your paper, to summarize your thoughts, to
demonstrate the importance of your ideas, and to
propel your reader to a new view of the subject. It is
also your opportunity to make a good final impression
and to end on a positive note.
Formula

Answer the question "So What?"



Synthesize, don't summarize


Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it.
Show them how the points you made and the support and examples you
used were not random, but fit together.
Redirect your readers


Show your readers why this paper was important. Show them that your
paper was meaningful and useful.
Address your thesis one last time
Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your
paper in the "real" world. If your introduction went from general to
specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general.
Create a new meaning

You don't have to give new information to create a new meaning. By
demonstrating how your ideas work together, you can create a new
picture. Often the sum of the paper is worth more than its parts.
Strategies

Play the “So What” Game. If you’re stuck and feel like your
conclusion isn’t saying anything new or interesting, play the
“so what?” game. Whenever you make a statement from
your conclusion, ask “So what?” or “Why should anybody
care?” Then ponder that question and answer it. Here’s how
it might go:





You: Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to
Douglass.
So what?
You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like
a free and equal citizen.
Why should anybody care?
You: That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves
from being educated so that they could maintain control. When
Douglass obtained an education, he undermined that control
personally.
Conclusions to Avoid

The “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It”
Conclusion
 This
conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually
painfully short. It does not push the ideas forward.
People write this kind of conclusion when they can’t think
of anything else to say.
 Example: In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we
have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that
education was a major force for social change with
regard to slavery.
Conclusions to Avoid

The “Random Fact” Conclusion
 This
kind of conclusion includes extra information that
the writer found or thought of but couldn’t integrate into
the main paper.
 Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer,
Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for
masculinity in the American South. He also offers
historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance
when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships
with female relatives reveal the importance of family in
the slave community
Sample Conclusion
While other factors certainly drove social
change in regard to slavery, few were as influential
as education. Everyone needed to know how to read
and write in order to be successful, and slaves were
no exception. Improving their own education made
slaves see their own worth and drove them to fight
harder than ever before for their freedom. Frederick
Douglass no only saw the value of education, he
recognized that it was vital for the acquisition of
freedom.
Essay Topic

To help students feel better prepared to learn, Hanes
now requires all students to wear a belt pack (also
known as a fanny pack, but they’re not letting you
call it that) at all times while at school. The school is
providing the belt pack, which has extra writing
utensils, a small first aid kit, erasers, and other
school supplies. Pick a side and make the case for or
against the belt packs. You must make it clear why
the packs are beneficial or detrimental.
Essay must be at least 5 paragraphs
 A strong introduction (containing a thesis) and conclusion are
necessary and will account for 50% of your grade
