Class slides for
4/06 & 4/07
Revision
Get the easy stuff right; use the sample MLA paper as a guide.
Revision
1. Do you start by explaining an existing conversation (i.e.,
“they say”)?
2. Do you show how your view fits into that conversation
(i.e., agree, disagree, or partially agree/disagree)?
3. Do you pose – and answer – objections to your view?
4. Do you use adequate and appropriate examples to explain
and clarify your view?
5. Do you explain why your ideas matter?
6. Do you conclude (rather than stop)?
Revision
Once the ideas look good, consider how you express them:
Circle every verb.
Do you have too many “to be” verbs?
Is each verb both accurate and precise?
Underline the subject for each verb.
Does every verb have a subject?
Do subjects and verbs “agree”?
Starting at the end, read each sentence aloud.
Does each sentence make sense by itself?
Revision
Once the ideas look good, consider how you express them:
Look for places to add details, clarifications, or explanations.
Look for places to change diction to make it more precise.
Look for places to cut words.
Look closely at the first line of each new paragraph: Do you
show how that paragraph is connected to the preceding one?
Reconsider your opening and closing paragraphs; they are the
two most important paragraphs in the paper. (Will the intro
catch my attention? Will the conclusion signal that you’re
finished? How am I likely to react to these two paragraphs?)
Editing
Once the ideas and expressions are good, check the little stuff:
Read the paper backwards, word by word, to check for
spelling errors.
Check – or have someone else check – your punctuation.
If you summarize, paraphrase, or quote, make sure you cite
your sources, and that you follow MLA guidelines.
If you have a Works Cited page, check it against the sample
pages online.
Once you think everything is correct, have someone else
check it as well.
Before your conference, revise your rough draft from
last week, using the checklist in Chapter 11 to guide
your revisions. Follow MLA format for in-text
citations, and include a Works Cited page for any
sources you cite. Print a hard copy to take to your
conference.
Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or
policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.
Regimental PT is a waste of time and can be unproductive.
Regimental P.T. should not be required for cadets exhibiting a high level of
physical proficiency.
Regimental seems like a great way to improve the overall physical fitness of
cadets, but it just does not work, and even can have a negative effect on the wellbeing of the corps. Regimental PT should therefore be removed in the years
following.
The rule that a cadet may only have a 24-hour supply of food is unfair because it
increases the cost of living, encourages an environment of “cutting corners”, and
it lacks flexibility.
I do not personally agree with the prisoner exchange in this particular case.
The most unbearable thing that The Citadel has done this year so far is punishing
the victims of hazing.
Essentially, I am arguing not that upperclassman should make it easy for knobs,
but that we should monitor effects far more closely.
In the practice of medical marijuana doctors suggest that
patients ingest the THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol), one of the main
isomers in marijuana which gives the “high” feeling, as a form of
medicine and treatment. The marijuana plant has been used for
medical use for centuries, with evidence coming from as early as
ancient Egypt and ancient Greece, and even in the 19th century, it
was a common pain reliever. Since marijuana has become illegal in
most areas of the world, there is a debate whether its medical
potentials outweigh the risks. Currently it’s used as one form of
treatment for cancer and AIDS patients as well as for people with
glaucoma; the drug also may be good for people who suffer from
PMS, insomnia, Tourette’s syndrome and fibromyalgia. Research is
still currently in the works about how marijuana may benefit or
possibly harm those with other diseases too.
Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or
policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.
In today’s news you’ll hear a lot about gun control problems
and what the government is doing to “protect” the citizens of the
United States. The truth is that no matter what the government is
never going to be able to stop the sale and trade of illegal firearms.
As the great country we are the United States was founded on the
rights of freedom and the ability to protect yourself and everything
you love. As the government tries to put a hold on these rights it
does nothing more than make people more protective of these very
rights. For example, by taking away, or putting very strict
regulations on the sale and trade of firearms the government is only
making its citizens more protective and unwilling to give up the right
to bear arms.
Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or
policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.
The Citadel has a variety of food to eat, everything from eggs
to meat. The Mess Hall feeds 2000 students eating
once, and is
at once,alla at
practice
made quick
easy.
Resulting
in poor
for the cadets
eat,
which
makesand
meal
times
quick and
easy.food
Unfortunately,
thistopractice
bad nutrition,
and not enough calories to replenish what we burn.
comes
at a price.
This causes cadets to lose weight, and become very tired throughout
the day.
There
are many
ways
in by
which
thisofcould
change.
Hmm
– Is “lack
of nutrition”
really
caused
the speed
service,
or could itFirst
be the
result
something
else bars
completely?
(That is,fruits
if we fixed
other problem,
could
beingofto
add salad
with more
and some
vegetables
for the
cadets
good
food
be served
to eat.
Second
isquickly?)
to not have food that is full of greasy substances,
including the meat and sides. Third is to incorporate more meals for
the Sometimes,
cadets to eat.
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nutrition
the cadets
youThis
discover
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you simplythe
need
to find athat
different
thesis.
need. Citadel cadets do not get enough nutrition from the Mess Hall
to full fill the body’s needs.
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Hook the potential
reader’s interest.
Provide context or
background to set up
your thesis, to show
why it matters.
Finish with your
thesis statement.
(Make sure it’s in line
with the assignment.)
Use the remaining class time to begin REVISING your draft:
Start with the big issues, then work down to the small issues.
If you have questions, consult with me or with a classmate.
The FINAL DRAFT is due, in hard copy, at your conference.