Writing Tips
Introductions, Conclusions, and more
How to Write an Effective Introduction
•
•
•
•
Begin with a “hook” to grab the attention of
the reader
Include name of work and author
Brief summary (maybe 3 sentences) of story as
pertains to your thesis statement
Your thesis!
Introductions



Spark the interest of the reader
Move the reader ‘gracefully’ toward the thesis statement
Present the purpose of your paper: the thesis statement
Different approaches to writing the intro



Each of the following sample intros is based on the
following idea:
"Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of
innocent victims, and the government must implement
better regulations to help put an end to this crime."
Notice how the various introductions set different tones,
establish slightly different expectations for what will
follow in the body of the essay.
Use background or historical info

Identity theft is not a new crime. Throughout history,
unscrupulous individuals have pretended to be people
they are not, often with the goal of political, social, or
financial gain. With the right appearance and demeanor,
people have falsely presented themselves as kings and
bishops. Today, in our information age, identity theft is a
far more prevalent problem. With access to names, Social
Security numbers, and other personal information, thieves
are able to steal identities, leaving the victims struggling to
clear their good names. Identity theft is a serious problem
that claims millions of innocent victims, and the
government must implement better regulations to help
put an end to this crime.
Begin with a quote…

In Shakespeare's Othello, Iago claims that he "who steals
my purse steals trash / . . . But he that filches from me my
good name / Robs me of that which not enriches him, /
And makes me poor indeed" (3.3.157-161). Today, identity
theft is a new way that thieves steal both the "purses" and
the good names of innocent victims, and these thieves are
enriching themselves at the expense of their victims.
Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of
innocent victims, and the government must implement
better regulations to help put an end to this crime.
A surprising or interesting fact

Identity fraud is the fastest growing crime in the United
States. In 2004, over nine million Americans, or
approximately one person in 24, became victims of
identity fraud or identity theft, at a cost to the economy
of 52.6 billion dollars ("2005 Identity Fraud Survey
Report"). Because many cases of identity fraud and
identity theft may go unreported, the numbers could be
even higher. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims
millions of innocent victims, and the government must
implement better regulations to help put an end to this
crime.
A definition or important term…

Our identity is what makes us unique. It is "the
distinguishing character or personality of an individual,"
and when one is a victim of identity theft, it is this
"distinguishing character" that is stolen: one's name,
address, Social Security number, employment history,
credit history, and more. It therefore is no wonder that
victims of identity theft often feel a deep sense of
violation as they struggle to reclaims their good names.
Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of
innocent victims, and the government must implement
better regulations to help put an end to this crime.
Begin with a short narrative…

Joe Stevens was finally ready to purchase a home. He spent
years putting money into a savings account, paid off his credit
cards, and diligently paid every bill on time. Confident of his
good credit rating, Joe visited the bank to inquire about a
mortgage, but he discovered startling information: Joe
defaulted on a home loan, had $40,000 in credit card debt, and
had a car repossessed for lack of payment. Joe Stevens, like
many Americans, is a victim of identity theft. Instead of
preparing to move into a new home, Joe began the long
journey to restore his good name and to reclaim his identity.
Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of
innocent victims, and the government must implement better
regulations to help put an end to this crime.
Begin with a quote…

How would you feel if you knew, at this moment, that
some criminal is writing your name, address, and Social
Security number on credit card applications and plans to
charge thousands of dollars worth of merchandise on
those credit cards? More importantly, how do you know
that this is not happening? Millions of people have
become victims of identity theft, and they often find out
only after thousands of dollars have been stolen using
their names. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims
millions of innocent victims, and the government must
implement better regulations to help put an end to this
crime.
But, don’t do this…
1. Avoid vague, broad generalizations…

Crimes are committed every day by different people, and
there are many different kinds of crime. Some crimes are
more serious than others. One serious crime today is
identity theft. (Can you hear the readers already starting
to snooze? The first two sentences to this introduction
are far too vague and general to get anyone interested in
what the writer is going to say in the paper.)
Don’t start with dictionary definitions…

According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the
word "steal" is defined as "to take the property of
another wrongfully." Identity theft is one form of stealing.
(The writer of these sentences seems to assume that the
readers are “ignorant,” which is not a good impression to
give readers. Who would not already know this definition
of "steal"?)
Don’t tell the reader your plan…

In this essay, identity theft will be explained. I will discuss
why it is such a big problem and what the government
should do about it. (Such an introduction might be
appropriate for a writer in junior high school, but mature
writers use much more effective rhetorical strategies to
begin their essays.)
Another tip….

Avoid LONG introductions




Do not go into depth – developing ideas in the
introduction…that’s for body paragraphs, not the intro
Include background info that is pertinent to your thesis – but
do not merely lapse into summary of the novel
The job of the intro is to grab the attention of the reader and
adequately describe the purpose of your paper.
Now you need a good thesis!!!!
Thesis statement

The thesis statement is typically the last sentence in your
introduction: answers the questions “what” and “why”

“what” is your claim

“why” is it important – the “so what”
Examples of thesis statements

The fate of the main characters in “Antigone” illustrate the
danger of excessive pride.

The imagery in Thomas’s poem “Fern Hill” reveals the
ambiguity of humans’ relationship with nature.

Hamlet experiences internal conflict because he is in love with
this mother.
Cont’d

Words that are effective in conveying the “why” portion
of your thesis statement include:

illustrate, reveal, explain, suggest, demonstrate, show,
because…..
Compare & contrast thesis statements

Compare & contrast essay on Huckleberry Finn

1st try:
Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.*

It’s just a general statement. There’s no
compare/contrast.

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill
Cont’d

2nd attempt:
In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast
between life on the river and life on the shore.*

What do you think?

There’s no “so what.” There is no significance in the
comparison as written.

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill
Cont’d

3rd attempt:
Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s
Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of
American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society
and go back to nature.*

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill
Still more…

In a compare & contrast essay, you need to decide how
the two things you’ve chosen actually relate to one
another.

Effective words to use include: extend, corroborate,
complicate, contradict, whereas (all the aforementioned), etc.
The conclusion…

Should:



Stress the importance of the thesis
Effectively wrap up your argument
Leave a final impression on the reader
Effective conclusions…

Answer the question “So what?”


Synthesize, don’t summarize


Now that you’ve written the paper, show why this topic is
important.
Don’t just ‘list’ what you’ve discussed. Instead, show how they
all connect
Give your readers something to think about

When you wrap up, end with something insightful (but not
new)
Another approach…

Make your conclusion a reversal of your introduction.

Begin by rephrasing your thesis statement.
Cont’d

THESIS:

Morrison mirrors the fragmentation of her characters’ lives through the novel’s
non-linear structure, specifically through her use of flashback, stream of
consciousness, and shifts in point of view.

REPHRASED:

Because of Morrison’s innovative use of basic literary elements like flashback,
stream of consciousness, and point of view, she is able to produce a powerful effect
that reflects the sometimes chaotic and often broken lives of her characters.*

(it’s a mouthful!)

* slideshare.net
Introduction - Sample

For centuries philosophers have debated the question of
whether man is innately evil. William Golding poses this
question in his realistic novel Lord of the Flies. Set on a tropical
island during World War II, the novel begins when schoolboys
from Great Britain are being flown to safety and their plane is
shot down. No adults survive, and the boys are left to govern
themselves and get rescued. William Golding uses symbolism in
the form of the conch to represent the concept of society. The
boys' evolving relationship with the conch illustrates Golding's
theme that humans, when removed from the pressures of
civilized authority, will become evil.
Conclusion - Sample

Golding uses the conch shell to show the slow slide of
the boys into savagery, thereby exemplifying the theme
that humans have the capability to turn evil. At first, the
conch brings everyone together; then, as its power
erodes, the group breaks into two. Finally, the destruction
of the conch signals the plunge into total savagery. By
following the role of the conch in the story, we see how
Golding uses it to unify the central events of the story
around his theme of inevitable evil. Golding is an artist,
not a philosopher, but through his art he answers the
question debated for centuries by philosophers: Is man
innately evil? According to Lord of the Flies, he is.
Cont’d

INTRODUCTION:

Experimental writers often subvert the traditional form of the novel by refusing to use a
chronological plot line in favor of one less linear. Toni Morrison’s Beloved is not narrated
chronologically from Sethe’s birth to Beloved’s disappearance. Instead, it is told in a series of
seemingly unrelated pieces. Morrison mirrors the fragmentation of her characters’ lives
through the novel’s non-linear structure, specifically through her use of flashback, stream of
consciousness, and shifts in point of view.

CONCLUSION:

Because of Morrison’s innovative use of basic literary elements like flashback, stream of
consciousness, and point of view, she is able to produce a powerful effect that reflects the
sometimes chaotic and often broken lives of her characters. By constructing the novel in
what at first appears to be unrelated pieces unanchored in chronology or point of view,
Morrison actually achieves a kind of unity that supports the development of the story and her
characters. In doing so, Morrison creates a new kind of American novel, one not tied to a
form rooted in tradition. Similarly, her characters forge ahead to create new lives, confidently
rejecting the history of oppression from which it had once seemed impossible to escape.
The conclusion

Things to keep in mind:




Don’t introduce new ideas. Stick to the thesis statement
Synthesize, don’t summarize relevant supporting details
Provide insight; apply to real world; create new meaning in your
wrap-up
Ultimately, it should answer the question, “why should we
care?”
Sources

http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/introductions/

http://www.taftcollege.edu/instruct/LiberalArts/OWL/iand
c.htm

http://www2.ivcc.edu/rambo/eng1001/introductions.htm