Improving Descriptive
Writing
When you are writing, you want to make it descriptive
and paint an original picture.
Purpose of Descriptive Writing

Describe something in an original and
unique way so that it appeals to the five
senses
 Touch it
 Taste it
 Hear it
 See it
 Smell it
Keys of Being Descriptive
Be original
 Be creative
 Stretch your imagination
 For example, instead of this:

 Try this: • The
Thehot,
sunyellow
cut itself
sunon a
went
sharp
behind
peak the
and bled
mountain
into the valley.—John
and covered
the
Steinbeck
valley in red.
Clichés: The Descriptive Killer
1 : a trite phrase or expression; Also :
the idea expressed by it
 2 : something (as a menu item) that
has become overly familiar or
commonplace
 It is a saying, expression, idea, or
element of an artistic work which has
been overused to the point of losing its
original meaning or effect, making it a
stereotype.

Just say no to clichés
Clichés such as, “strong as an ox” should
be avoided by the writer who wants to be
effective.
 A cliché may say what the writer wants to
say, but it does not say it in a striking,
fresh way.
 It is better to say, “strong as a champion
iron pumper” or “strong as a giant
gorilla”.
 These expressions show fresher
relationships and some creative thought.

Finding Clichés Through
Experience
If you have seen it
Or heard it
It’s probably a cliché
Here are some more examples

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Get all your ducks in a row.
Paula is thin as a rail.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Denise is as pretty as a picture.
The sun made him as red as a beet.
Better safe than sorry.
That’ll happen when pigs fly.
Hollywood Clichés
If a flying vehicle runs out of fuel and crashes, it still
explodes as if the tank were full.
 People never get out of the house when there is
obvious danger there (ghosts,
murderers).
 People who hear something weird
outside will go OUT to look, even if
they know there's a homicidal maniac
on the loose.
 Medieval peasants always have filthy
faces, tangled hair, ragged clothing and perfect, gleaming white teeth. (Braveheart, any
Robin Hood movie, etc.).

Finding Clichés On-line
Let’s find some more clichés
 Choose a keyword to look up
 Go to a cliché website and look up the
keyword
 Cliché finder is one of the best places to
look: http://www.westegg.Com/cliche/

Fixing Clichés
Identify the clichés
 Replace them with more descriptive
writing

◦ Think of a new comparison
◦ Look up words in a thesaurus
◦ www.m-w.com
A Little Practice
Let’s look at a poem
Identify ALL the clichés
Try to think of ways to say the same
thing without using a cliché
 We’ll do the first stanza together



Which of the following do think are
clichés?
She’s as pure
pure as
as the
the driven
driven snow,
snow,
Her face is as white as a sheet,
Her hands are as smooth as silk,
Her nails as red as a beet.
Same Old New Girl
She’s as pure as the driven snow,
Her face is as white as a sheet,
Her hands are as smooth as silk,
Her nails as red as a beet.
Her
But
I’m
And
Her hair is like the golden sun,
Her eyes blue like the sky,
She’s as beautiful as an angel,
and as hot as a firecracker on the
4th of July.
They say she’s one in a million,
But I don’t believe what they say.
If she’s all that and a bag of chips,
Why say it with a cliché?
Her temper is as quick as
lightning,
Her hatred cold as ice,
Her laughter is loud and clear, But
her crying is as quiet as mice.
beauty may be skin deep,
her mind is as sharp as a knife.
just small potatoes,
she seems larger than life
On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite
five of the following clichés so they
send the same message to the reader
but in an original way
1.She looked like death warmed over.
2.The carpenter was busy as a beaver.
3.The boy was smart as a whip.
4.He yelled like a stuck pig.
5.She had a mind like a steel trap.
6.He was as ugly as sin.
7.The class was quiet as mice.
8.He was as tough as nails.
9.She was light as a feather.
10.His mind was dull as dishwater.
7. The class was as quiet as a lion stalking its prey.
7. The class was as quiet as a master serial killer.
4. His scream was as sharp as a knife.
3. He had a mind like a jail cell at Alcatraz.
10. His mind was as dull as an old textbook.
4. He yelled like a microphone screeching.
10. His mind was as dull as a murky swamp.
6. His repugnant face was like a black hole, sucking all
the beauty out of the room.
6. He was as ugly as a six week old carcass.
3. The boy was bright like a lamp in a dark room.
7. The class was as quiet as a corpse.
Here are some examples: